


I Would Make That Sacrifice: The Jericho Canon

by HixyStix (GaiaMyles)



Series: Bill/Sarah [2]
Category: Jericho (US 2006)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-05-24 11:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 92,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14953733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaiaMyles/pseuds/HixyStix
Summary: The world's ended.  What comes next?Bill and Sarah fight to survive in the post-bombs world.  Some days are harder than others, but none are easy.





	1. September 25th - September 26th: The First 28 Hours

**Author's Note:**

> BIG thanks to [WarlockWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlockWriter) for being my fic beta!
> 
> There's much more to this story than is being posted, if you're so inclined. Shoot me questions here or on my tumblr, [ihaveallthesefeelsokay](http://ihaveallthesefeelsokay.tumblr.com/).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bombs, a kidnapping, death, and radiation poisoning. Is there anything that DOESN'T happen to Jericho in these first days?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moodboard credit to [WarlockWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlockWriter)!

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2dlskzo)

 

**September 25 th – September 26th**

Sarah didn’t even bother knocking; she knew the Taylors were expecting her.  “Hey, I’m here and I brought food!” she called as she pushed her way in the door.

A chorus of hellos greeted her: Bill and Jimmy from the couch, Jimmy lifting his beer in greeting, and Margaret from the kitchen.  The kids were nowhere to be seen – probably playing outside before dinner.

Sarah made her way behind the couch and kissed Bill on the top of his head.  “Hey, hon.  How was work?”

Bill waggled his hand noncommittally, but Jimmy perked up.  “Guess who’s back in town?”

Heading into the kitchen to set down her contribution to the night’s meal, Sarah called back, “Who?”

“Jake Green!  You remember him?”

“Jimmy, she never met him,” Bill pointed out.  “He left the year she moved here.”

“Ooh, but I’ve heard plenty of stories!”  Sarah grinned at Margaret.

“ _Apparently_ he’s been in the ‘rodeo’” Margaret said, making finger quotes.  “Who knows what he’s really been up to?”

“Do you think ‘rodeo’ means jail?” Sarah asked.

Margaret shrugged and Bill called back from the living room, “Why else would he lie?”

Sarah heard a thwap – Jimmy must have hit Bill in the leg.  “Bill, man, Jake’s been lying about stuff since we were kids.  He could have been on TV and he’d still make up a story why he wasn’t.”

“True that,” muttered Margaret.  “Trouble follows that boy around like a puppy and he encourages it.”

“Wonder why he’s in town then?”

Jimmy had a guess for that one.  “Word is E.J. left him some money in his will.  Bet he came back for that.”

“Could be.”  Bill grunted.  “Hope he takes it and leaves.”

 

The conversation about Jake Green’s mysterious return fell off and dinner itself was uneventful but entertaining: Sally sang a song she’d learned at school and Jimmy prodded Woody into telling what he learned at school, too.

Sarah and Margaret cleaned up the table while everyone else settled back into the den.  Jimmy flipped channels until he reached the Hays news station broadcasting the president’s speech.

“I hope he’s going to crack down on the ba– the terrorists,” Bill said, stumbling over the curse word in front of the kids.  “It’s about time we got serious about terrorism.”

Sarah laughed from the kitchen.  She knew Bill was winding her up, but she couldn’t resist.  “And we aren’t doing enough already?  Where else should we be going to war?  What other liberties should we give up here?”

“I’m just sayin’–”

“No one’s saying anything here,” Margaret reprimanded.  “Save your arguments for _after_ the speech.  After you get home, too.”

Sarah grinned at her friend apologetically.  Margaret shrugged and grinned back.  She knew Sarah and Bill’s political arguments were good-natured, but they _could_ get intense.

“Do I _hafta_ watch this?” Woody groaned.

Margaret and Jimmy glanced at each other and shrugged.  Before they could say otherwise, both Woody and Sally were hightailing it outside to play.

“He’ll probably get more out of being outside than watching this,” Sarah pointed out, dumping the last of the trash in the can.  She and Margaret joined the men in the den and Sarah snuggled up next to Bill on the couch.

“Tougher laws,” he whispered.

Sarah swatted at his arm.  “Watch the speech, will ya?”

A few minutes later, the screen turned to static.

Jimmy got in the floor to fiddle with the TV knobs, but the back door burst open and Woody and Sally ran in, crying.

“What is it?” asked Margaret, hugging them both.

“Th…th…there’s a big cloud outside,” sobbed Sally.

“It looks like Daddy’s movies,” mumbled Woody.

Jimmy looked confused.  “Daddy’s movies?  You mean my World War II movies?”

Sarah felt a chill run down her spine and she got up to look out the windows.  She stopped in the kitchen.  “Holy shit,” she whispered, not caring if the children heard.

Bill jumped up and joined her instantly.  The color drained from his face and from Jimmy and Margaret’s when they looked, too.

“Tell me I’m crazy,” Sarah said, grabbing Bill’s hand.  “Tell me I’m just imagining that’s a mushroom cloud.”

“I guess we’re all crazy,” Margaret answered, hugging Sally tight.

Bill and Jimmy looked at each other.  “We’d better go,” Bill said.

“Go where?” Jimmy asked.  He picked the phone off the receiver and got nothing but a tone.

“They’ll need us at work, probably.  I’ll check the radio.”

Bill picked his radio off his work jacket and turned the volume up to hear it already buzzing with chatter.

_“–can’t call the mayor.  What do we do?”_

Bill clicked the button.  “Jimmy and I can tell the mayor,” he said shortly. 

“ _Get the mayor and yourselves down here ASAP._ ”

“Yes, sir,” radioed Bill.  He looked back at the group.  “Guess we have our marching orders.”

Sarah didn’t want him to go; something in her gut told her to keep him close, but she didn’t have much of a choice.  “Do you need your night gear?  I can get it from the house and meet you at the station,” she volunteered.

Bill smiled gratefully.  “Yeah, that’d be great.”

“I’ll head on out, then, before things get too crazy.”  Sarah gave him a swift kiss on the cheek, ignoring the feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

Emotion overtook her in the car, though – driving home, she could see the mushroom cloud on the horizon.  It felt like a movie.  Surely this wasn’t real?  The thought of it being real almost had her pulling over to throw up.  What was happening?  What would happen after this? 

Who would bomb them out in the middle of the country?  That looked like Denver, so maybe one of the military bases there had an accident…?  She hoped that’s all it was: a horrible, horrible accident.

She prayed it wasn’t war.

 

Bill stood awkwardly clutching his hat in the Greens’ foyer.  Gail was listening to Woody sob out his story about the mushroom cloud, an increasingly concerned look on her face.

Johnston stepped into the stairwell.  “Gail?” he asked “What’s going on?”

Gail turned to face her husband.  “Oh, Johnston,” she whispered.

“There’s a mushroom cloud off towards the mountains,” Jimmy explained.

Johnston stopped halfway down the stairs.  “You sure?”

“Yes, sir,” Bill said.  “Look outside.”

Johnston came all the way downstairs and stepped out onto the front porch.  The mushroom cloud was still there – less fiery but still ominous – and his face blanched when he came back inside.  He went immediately to the landline phone in the hall, but he had no better luck than Jimmy.

“Nothing,” he grumbled, hanging up the phone.  He pushed past Bill and Jimmy in the hall.  “All right, it looks like the explosion came from the west, maybe Denver.  Jimmy, get on the radio – I want everyone at the sheriff’s station.  I’ll pick up Eric.  Let’s move.”

Bill was glad for Mayor Green’s Army Ranger training today: it helped him keep calm in a crisis and they’d all need that tonight.  At least someone knew what they were doing and it didn’t have to be him.  Bill headed out the door, hearing Woody call for Jimmy as he went. 

 

Sarah dashed inside their garage, heading straight for Bill’s gun and gear locker.  She rummaged through and found his rarely-used night belt, which mostly held strong flashlights and extra batteries.  She took a moment to stuff a few peanut butter cracker packs in a spare belt pocket just in case it was a long night.  God, she wished she could just keep him home instead.

Driving to town hall was nearly impossible – it seemed like all of Jericho was out, either in cars or on foot.  The gas station had a line nearly half a mile long and people were pouring into both the downtown tavern and town hall.

The sheriff’s office was full of people – all six deputies, the Jericho Volunteer Fire Department, the mayor, and other prominent members of the community, all gathered round discussing the town’s official plan for emergencies.  It sounded like a lot of it depended on communications still being up, so Sarah wasn’t sure how relevant it would end up being.

Connor saw Sarah sneak in and quietly pointed down the hall towards the storage closets.  Sarah nodded gratefully and found Bill rummaging around deep in a closet.

“Here you are, babe,” she said, holding the night belt out to him.

“Oh great,” Bill said, earnestly.  “Thank you.”

“What are you looking for?  Can I help?”

“Geiger counters.”  Bill pointed to the other closet.  “If you know what they look like, start there.”

Bill tossed her the key and Sarah started searching the boxes and bemoaning whoever thought half of them shouldn’t be labelled.

“Found ‘em!” Bill called from his closet.

“Great!” Sarah said, brushing dust off her hands.

“I gotta get these back there.  Don’t hang around – Mayor Green is giving everyone non-essential the boot.”

Sarah reached out and squeezed Bill’s shoulder.  “I’ll go find Margaret.  You take care, please?”

“Yes’m.”  Bill shot her a cocky grin before parading down the hall and announcing “Found the Geiger counters!”

Sarah hung around just long enough to see a bit of enmity between the mayor and his electoral opponent, Gray Anderson, and to hear a worried mother ask about a school bus.  Oh yeah, Heather had taken her class to the caves today.  Surely they’d be home soon.

 

The hubbub in the room grew until Sheriff Dawes sent Bill to keep the crowd from coming behind the counter.  He usually didn’t mind crowd control, but he hated not being part of the planning for searching for the bus.  Still, he was there to do his job.

“What about the parents?” Gray Anderson spoke up, interrupting the mayor’s planning.

That incited more muttering among the crowd, as people spoke their agreement and worry.

“Folks,” said the mayor.  “Folks!”

People quieted to listen to what Mayor Green had to say.  Bill turned and watched him, curious what he’d say to calm the crowd.

“Now, look, I know every part of you wants to just rush out there.  I don’t blame you,” Mayor Green said.  “But as your friend I’m askin’ you to think about that.  We’re safe here.  What if, God forbid, you go out there and get stranded and your child comes back an orphan?”

Bill took a deep breath at that thought.  He wasn’t a parent, but they’d been trying for the past year.  What if he _had_ a child out there?  What if Sarah were out there, in places unknown.  What would _he_ do?

“You know the sheriff and his men.  You know they’ll find your kids, so please…”  Mayor Green turned back to the planning board while the crowd contemplated what he’d said.

Bill steeled himself to watch the crowd again.  It was going to be a busy night.

 

Sarah found Margaret back at her house soon after the power went out, trying to keep the kids calm and away from the windows.

“Oh good, I could use backup,” Margaret said as soon as she opened the door.  “Did you learn anything downtown?”

“Only that the school field trip to the caves is late coming back and they’re sending out search parties for the bus.”

“That shouldn’t take long, at least,” Margaret said, pulling Sally back from the door with one hand.  “Let’s get out the radio and listen once we get these two in bed.”

“I like how you assume I’m here to help,” Sarah laughed.

“Well, aren’t you?”

“I guess I am,” shrugged Sarah, following Margaret into the house.

 

Once the kids were in bed – or at least confined to their rooms – Margaret broke out drinks.  Sarah took hers gratefully while Margaret turned on the police scanner.  Static filled the room, making both women jump.

Margaret quickly spun the tuner, finding the local radio channel.  It was still staticky, but enough came through that they could follow along.

 _“Wait, I see something.  Okay, we see the bus,”_ the sheriff said, slightly garbled.

 _“Ah, good.  You want us?_ ”

“That’s Jimmy,” muttered Margaret, looking relieved.

“ _No, you keep looking for Jake,_ ” the sheriff radioed back.

Sarah made a face.  “Would have been nice if they got to come on back in.”

“Yeah, well, mayor’s kid,” Margaret said, shrugging.  “Tends to get special treatment.”

The women leaned back to sipped at their drinks, waiting for more news of their husbands.

 

“Sheriff?  Yeah, there’s no sign of Jake out here.  In fact, there’s no sign of _anybody_.  We’re, uh, we’re gonna head back.  Let me know if the kids need anything.”  Jimmy paused, glancing at the radio receiver.  “Sheriff, you there?”

Bill looked over at Jimmy and shrugged.  “Busy with the school bus, you think?”

Jimmy laughed.  “Yeah, that many kids at once, he may not have heard us.  I can barely hear the phone with just the two.”

 

They were getting closer to town when Bill spotted the car: a beat-up silver junker with its hood popped and two guys peering into the engine.  He pointed at them and Jimmy nodded, turning on the spotlight and pulling up beside the car.

“Sara, we’re stopping to help some stranded motorists about six miles out on Willow Creek,” Jimmy radioed.

“Copy that,” came Sara’s staticky reply.  “Let me know when you’re headed back in.  We’re still waiting on an update from the sheriff.”

“Those kids must be giving him hell,” Bill said, opening his car door.

“Couldn’t pay me to teach elementary school and I _like_ kids,” Jimmy remarked as they approached the broken-down car.  “Hey, you guys look like you could use some help.”

The men didn’t respond right away and Bill felt his skin crawl, realizing that something wasn’t quite right.  “Jim–” he started, but before he could even finish the name, both men spun around, shotguns aimed directly at their middles.

Bill froze, but his mind – and pulse – was racing.  Oh, fuck.  Those were prison-issue shotguns.  They were wearing federal penitentiary uniforms.  With blood on them. 

He could now make out the shape of a person slumped over the driver’s seat of the stranded car.  Oh, hell.  Leavenworth _had_ notified them that they would be transporting some of their more violent inmates to Loomer Ridge and traveling through Jericho County today.  He’d totally forgotten in the chaos. 

These must be two of those inmates, which meant they’d somehow overpowered the guards and escaped – and then lain in wait here for a more suitable escape vehicle.  If these were loose, so were the rest.  There were more inmates out there and Sheriff Dawes didn’t know; Jericho didn’t know.  And he and Jimmy had walked right into a trap.

 _Jesus_.

They each had a shotgun, which meant neither he nor Jimmy could hope to draw their pistols in time.  There wasn’t anything he could do right now except cooperate and hope to find an opportunity to escape – or provide a distraction so that Jimmy could escape.  It was certain they both knew the area and terrain better than these fugitives.  Maybe one of them could get to a farm – the Jacksons and Herberts were out this way and while the Herberts had never been on the best terms with the sheriff’s department, they’d never turn away a deputy in an emergency.

Assuming they found an opening.

“You were right, J.P.  I wasn’t sure this was gonna work,” drawled the fugitive with the handlebar mustache.  “And cops, too, imagine that.”

“Told ya it’d work like a charm,” said the other man – J.P. – with a predatory grin.  “Now gentlemen.  I’m gonna need you to take off those belts of your and set them to the side.”  He motioned briefly with the shotgun, but never took his eyes off them.

Carefully, both Bill and Jimmy complied, letting their utility belts – and their firearms and radios – drop to the gravel.  The fugitives directed them to take off their shoes, shirts, and Jimmy’s pants – “Not you, shorty.  Your pants ain’t gonna fit either of us.” 

Bill kept a wary eye on their captors, hoping one or both would be distracted while the deputies undressed, but no such luck.  Bill stood there, tense and shivering in the chilly fall air without his shirt or coat and watched as the handlebar mustachioed man rolled duct tape to him.

“You’re gonna tape up chubby for us.  Arms first, behind his back, then legs and mouth.  Got it?”

Bill’s heart rose in his throat, but he glanced over at Jimmy.  His partner looked sick but nodded.  They really didn’t have a choice at the moment.  As gently as he could manage, he bound Jimmy’s arms and legs, tearing the tape with his teeth.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Get out of here, Bill.  Just run,” Jimmy implored, but there wasn’t a chance to even try.  As Bill reluctantly placed the last piece of tape over Jimmy’s mouth, the fugitives grabbed the duct tape from Bill’s hands.

J.P. kicked the back of Jimmy’s knees, dropping him to the ground, while Handlebar Mustache wrenched Bill’s arms behind his back and started wrapping the tape around his wrists.

“Ooh, nice ring,” Handlebar Mustache cooed.  “Looks like real gold.  Mine now.”  He pulled Bill’s wedding ring off and pocketed it before finishing taping up Bill.

Once they were both fully bound and knocked to the ground, the fugitives picked up their discarded uniforms.  Handlebar Mustache kept his khaki pants, but they both put on a shirt and a belt.

Then J.P. popped the trunk of the patrol car.

Bill’s panic rose quickly.  He had to fight back now; there were no more chances for escape.  If they were left on the side of the road, they had a chance.  Not in the car.  Not in the trunk.  If he went in that trunk, he wasn’t coming out.  You didn’t kidnap a cop and then let him free or negotiate a ransom: you take him somewhere he won’t immediately be recognized and dump the body.

Good God.  This was it; he was going to die.  He was going to be ‘a body.’  Would they find him?  Would someone tell Sarah or would she never know why he didn’t come home?  He hadn’t even said a proper goodbye at the station.  He couldn’t die; he needed to say goodbye!

Bill thrashed, doing his best to stand, hop away, _anything_.  Handlebar Mustache ran at him, armed but not aiming, and Bill tried to head-butt him, but the man stayed just out of easy reach.  Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that J.P. had pinned Jimmy and was grinding his face into the gravel.  Bill fell backwards and kicked out with his bound feet.

 _Crack_.

He felt ribs give as Handlebar Mustache slammed the butt of his shotgun into Bill’s side once, twice, and then a third time.  As Bill curled on the ground in pain, one more hit glanced off his face – he felt his nose break with the impact and he was glad it hadn’t been a direct hit.  A thud and a grunt beside him told him Jimmy was receiving similar treatment, but Bill couldn’t see.  A final blow with the weapon hit him directly on the temple.

Bill fell still.  His vision swam and he couldn’t bring himself to move without feeling nauseous – and though his thoughts were loose and sluggish, he still knew that was bad.  Throwing up while he was gagged meant he would drown on his own vomit and that would be a horrible way to go.

“Help me get these guys in the trunk before they cause any more trouble.  We’re lucky no one’s driven by yet.”

Footsteps around him and the sound of a heavy weight being dropped in the car trunk.  Jimmy?  Bill couldn’t tell; he couldn’t even open his eyes without getting another wave of nausea.  One of the men came back and picked Bill up, throwing him over his shoulder. 

Oh, fuck, that pressed on his broken ribs and he felt every pulse of blood in his head and drop from his nose and he came very close to throwing up.

He landed hard in the trunk, half atop Jimmy.  Jimmy was breathing – he could hear his raspy breath and feel him move – but that was all Bill knew for certain.  He struggled despite the pain, feebly, but the trunk lid slammed shut and trapped them in total darkness.

No.  No, this couldn’t be happening!  Bill wasn’t ready to die.  He was going to, he knew – he couldn’t stop it from happening – but he wasn’t ready.  Had he told his parents he loved them?  Had he said it enough to Sarah? 

Good God, if they found him, someone would have to identify his body.  He couldn’t let that happen to his family!

He started breathing faster and the stars behind his eyelids began to narrow in.  The air in the trunk felt oppressively heavy.  No, he couldn’t do this; he couldn’t die out here.

But he was going to.

Air, he needed air.  He needed to be able to move his arms.  He needed _out_!

He threw his head back and arched his back, trying to move in any way, trying not to scream from pain.  Jimmy grunted beneath him and Bill knew he was hurting his partner but that didn’t matter right now: he had to do something but nothing was working.  He tried to gasp for air but nothing was coming through the duct tape and he was breathing in blood from his nose and it wasn’t enough and his head felt light and _no, he had to fight, he couldn’t go–_

 

Margaret glanced at the clock on the wall.  “They should have checked back in by now.”

Sarah agreed, but tried not to worry.  “Bet you they’re both working on the car and forgot all about it.”

The radio, which had been quiet for a while, sparked to life again. 

“ _Sara, have you heard from the sheriff or any of the deputies?”_

_“Last report, sheriff found the bus and Jimmy and Bill are helping a stranded car.”_

_“Negative on the bus.  Jake Green just drove the school bus in by Murthy’s station and said there’s an empty prison bus on Cedar Run Road.  See if you can’t hail anyone.”_

_“I’ll keep trying, but…”_

_“Just do it.”_

Sarah and Margaret looked at each other, wide eyed and silent.  Sarah felt a chill run down her spine.  An empty prison bus?  And all the radio silence?  That…  That was ominous.

“Y…you don’t think…?” Sarah asked cautiously.

Margaret shook her head firmly.  “Of course not.  Let’s just keep listening.”

Every five minutes, Sara hailed the sheriff, followed by hailing Jimmy and Bill, but there was no reply.

 

At midnight, the hailings stopped.

Sarah and Margaret looked at each other: both exhausted, both a little drunk, yet still on edge.  Tears rimmed Margaret’s eyes.

“They’ll find them in the morning,” she said shakily, trying to sound confident.

“I should go home and wait,” said Sarah.

“No!,” cried Margaret, a little too loudly.  “I mean, stay here.  I’ve got the radio.”

Sarah didn’t mention Bill had an identical radio; she knew exactly how Margaret felt.  She let Margaret settle her in with a quilt on the couch.

Sarah cried herself to sleep once she was alone.  Where, oh where, was Bill?  Why hadn’t he come home to her?  What could have kept him? 

~~~

 

Sarah’s eyes cracked open and she could already tell it would be a headachy sort of day.  She rolled over and off the Taylor’s couch, landing as ungracefully as possible.

The house was quiet; her fall didn’t seem to have woken anyone.

And that’s when she remembered why she was at the Taylors’ house: Jimmy and Bill never came home.  Prison buses and missing deputies and Sara radioing plaintively for a response late into the night.

It hit her.  _Bill wasn’t coming home._

It wasn’t just last night.  Everything that happened was too coincidental.  They had to have run into prisoners or they’d have come home.  They always came home.

But not this time.

Sarah couldn’t stay there and wait for Margaret to wake up.  She gathered her coat and her purse and snuck out the front door, locking it behind her.

The cool morning air hit her lungs like a shock.  Sarah stopped at her car and tried to think.

Should she head home?  Should she go to Bill’s parents and tell them – no, not until she was sure.  The only logical option was to head down to Town Hall and see if there were any updates.

The sun was already fairly high in the sky and rain clouds brewed in the west, dominating her view as she drove.  Good.  She didn’t want it to be a pretty day, if today was the day she had to say goodbye.

She pulled into the sheriff’s department parking lot.  Bill’s SUV was there.  The patrol car wasn’t.  None of them were.

Her heart clenched tight in her chest:  Bill was still gone, then.  She’d have to get the spare keys and take the SUV home at some point, she thought blandly.  Couldn’t just leave it there in the parking lot – it was his baby.  He’d kill her for not taking care of it.  _Oh, God,_ he wasn’t going to kill her, he was d–

A fire engine siren blasted, shaking her and Sarah finally registered the hubbub that surrounded her.  The volunteer fire department was scrambling and heading out in different directions, each truck blaring an announcement – something about radioactive rain in the next hour and a half?

Oh, right.  The rain coming from the west.  She should have realized if she wasn’t completely useless.

Sarah let herself be shuffled inside.  People tried to ask her questions – was she okay, had she heard anything, did she know the search team had been called off because of the rain, had she sealed her house – and she managed to bypass them well enough on her way to the sheriff’s office.  The one exception was Fred, their next-door neighbor and one of the fire department volunteers.  Sarah told him the truth about not having been home yet.  He looked at her closely and offered to help with hers after lining the windows of his own house.  Sarah nodded absentmindedly and let him drive her home.

 

Bill had some plastic sheeting in the attic.  Of course: he liked to be prepared for anything.  Sarah and Fred stapled it to all the windows.  He told her that one search party found bodies – he didn’t know whose – but they ran out of time before the rain to bring them in.  Then he told her to take care and not come out until the rain stopped, and left Sarah and Sadie alone in the house.

Sarah stayed upstairs, staring at the empty living room.  She couldn’t bring herself to go to the bedroom; she didn’t need the reminder.

As the rain began to fall, Sarah gathered up Sadie and headed to the finished basement, closing the door behind them.  Sadie whined at the door– she always disliked a closed door – but Sarah ignored her.

Sarah plopped on the old couch, hugging a pillow tight.  Even though the dog was there, she’d never felt so alone.

Bill was really gone, then. 

Their anniversary was in a couple weeks – only their third; how could she have lost him already?  How was this fair?  Why hadn’t she told him every single second how much she loved him, how lucky she was that he found her – and how she was going to fall apart without him?

No.  She couldn’t do this without him.  How could anyone expect her to?  Bill was her rock.  He wasn’t ever supposed to leave.  She wasn’t ever supposed to be left on her own again.  But… but she was.  It was too late; she was alone again.

Had she even properly appreciated what she’d had for the last few years?  Had… had she made Bill happy?  Did he die knowing how much he’d done for her?

Oh God, he’d died.  _How_ did he die?  Was it… was it quick? 

Please God, let him not have suffered.  Let it have been swift and painless.  The thought of him hurt and scared made her nauseous.  Would they bring his body back into town?  Would she get to see him again – would he even be recognizable, if he’d been shot – or would they leave him out there because of the radiation?  Fuck, she was too young to have to plan her husband’s funeral.  They were supposed to grow old together.  None of this should have happened…

Sarah never noticed she’d begun weeping, choking out messy sobs.

 

Bill woke roughly, shaken awake in the dark as Jimmy used his knees to bang on the trunk lid.

Bill realized he’d passed out and had no idea how long they’d been there, but they were still in the trunk.  The patrol car wasn’t moving, though.

Footsteps ran around the car and the trunk squeaked as it opened.  Emily Sullivan stood there, to Bill’s surprise, though he could barely see in the sudden brightness.

Emily pulled the duct tape off Jimmy’s mouth.  “Run, Emily.  Run!” he whispered hoarsely.

It was too late, though.  They heard a commotion –people running and a gunshot – but couldn’t move.

Bill had to listen to the standoff as the fugitives threatened to kill someone female– and then it was cut off by more gunshots.  He winced at each shot, both from the headache the noise caused and from worry for Emily and whoever else was out there.

Then Jake appeared and cut the rest of the duct tape off.  “Bonnie,” he called and Bill realized sickeningly that it was Bonnie who’d been held hostage.

Jake pulled Jimmy out of the trunk and Bonnie helped Jimmy pull Bill out.  Bill came slowly, ribs and head both screaming in pain.

“Go, guys, go!” yelled Jake, directing them to the storm shelter.  Bill finally recognized the Richmond Ranch.  Jimmy stopped to pick up their guns from the fugitives and then helped Bill limp to the cellar entrance and down the stairs.

 

Bill cowered in the corner of the cellar with Bonnie, flinching as Jake and Emily ran down the stairs and the rain hit.

Jimmy came over and looked closely at him.  “What did they do to you?” he asked gently.  “I think I got away with just bruises.”

Bill gestured where he’d been hurt.  “Head.  Ribs,” he croaked.  “I’ll be okay.”

Bonnie laughed.  _You don’t look okay_ , she signed.

Bill waved her off.  He _had_ to be fine now.  “What time is it?  How long were we in there?”

“Almost noon,” Jake answered from across the room.  “What happened to you guys?”

Jimmy gave a quick rundown for Jake.  Jake replied with a summary of what the deputies had missed.

“Atlanta, too?” Jimmy asked, horrified.

“The sheriff and the other deputies?” asked Bill, equally horrified.

Jake just frowned and shook his head.

 

Bill sat next to Jake on the stairs, listening to the rain.  Where was Sarah?  Jake said they’d used the Town Hall shelter and the mine, but had she gone there or stayed at home?  Was _she_ okay?  Was she worried about him?

He couldn’t get home soon enough.

But he was stuck here for now, and watching everyone he was with.  They had mostly settled in, except for Emily, who alternated pacing and staring into nothing.

“She’s still not talking,” he muttered to Jake.  “I get that.  I’m a cop and I’ve never killed anyone.  She’s a _schoolteacher_.”  He’d had training for an OIS – officer involved shooting – and it was intense.  He couldn’t imagine going through it naively.  And Emily had always tried to distance herself from anything to do with her father, anyway…

Bonnie stood up, frustrated.  “Where’s Stanley?”

Bill looked up, shocked.  His head was still hurting badly enough that he hadn’t noticed Stanley’s absence.  Was he out in the rain?

“Jake, my brother doesn’t know about the radiation,” complained Bonnie.

“When the rain stops, he’ll be back.  Don’t worry,” Jake said calmly.  “Bonnie, I know Stanley.  He’ll be fine.”

Jimmy interrupted – he had radio contact with Eric at the Town Hall mine.  Bill leaned his head back against the wall and tried to keep his vision from swimming.  Something about the radio static pierced his ears.

 

Bill’s rest was interrupted by the sound of creaking floorboards above them.  Bill moved faster than he thought he could, grabbing his revolver.

“What is it?” asked Bonnie, seeing everyone react with fear.

“Someone’s up in the house,” Jake said.

“Not more prisoners?” asked Emily, echoing Bill’s fears exactly.

The footsteps moved around above them, then moved to the outside and the cellar door. 

Breathing hard, Bill positioned himself where he could shoot at whoever came down the stairs.  He could barely aim, but he would still try to protect everyone.

Thank God, it turned out to be Stanley.  Soaked in radioactive rain, of course, but otherwise whole and healthy.  Jake had to keep Bonnie from hugging him, explaining the dangers of radiation poisoning.

Bill didn’t care about that.  He was just happy Stanley was there – and a little upset at himself for not noticing his friend’s absence right away.

Now if he could just get the pain in his sides and head to stop, things would be great.

But then Stanley mentioned seeing tanks on I-70 and Bill’s hackles rose.  Whose tanks?  Where were they going?  Were they part of an invasion force?

Shit, he really needed to get home to Sarah.  His hand automatically went towards the spot his ring usually sat, intending to fiddle with it but it was gone.  Even if he got it back from Handlebar Mustache’s body, it would be riddled with radiation.  He’d lost it for good, probably.  Maybe Sarah would forgive him.

 

The rain petered out and with Fred Drummond’s admonishment to wash everything off carefully ringing in her ears, Sarah went back upstairs to her empty house.  The plastic sheeting waved and crackled as the generator kicked the fan back on, making the rooms seem even hollower and more abandoned.  Sadie scratched at the back door, wanting out, but she was ignored.

Sarah wandered into the kitchen, intending to fix some sort of food – she wasn’t hungry, but it’d been nearly a full day since dinner last night and she knew she needed to eat.  But… there were yesterday’s dishes in the sink.  She should take care of that.

Sarah turned the water on to heat and grabbed the soap.  She could shove everything into the dishwasher, but this could be something to accomplish.  A distraction. 

Pots first, a deep scrub, then the plates, then the glasses, then the–

Sarah froze, staring at the mug in her hands.  The stupid joke mug she’d bought Bill when they were dating and he stubbornly insisted on using just because it irked her.  _I LIKE BIG BUSTS AND I CANNOT LIE_ , it read, and she saw him there, clear as life, leaning against the counter and laughing at her irritation as he held the mug, full of his morning coffee.

The mug slipped from her hands and Sarah could only watch as it hit the edge of the sink and rolled to the floor, splitting into three large pieces.

 _Fuck_ , she’d broken his mug and he’d never know because he wasn’t ever coming home.  There was no telling how he’d died and it might have been horribly or it might have been quick and she might never know but he was dead and she was alone and why wasn’t he going to be here to yell at her for the mug even though he’d never yell about that but she needed him to yell because that meant he was _here_ and alive and–

Sarah crumpled to the ground amidst the mug fragments, water running, soap still on her hands, and sobbed until there were no tears left, just dry wracking heaves.

She slowly pulled herself back up to the sink and turned off the water – now running cold.  Moving slowly, robotically, she pulled the dustpan from under the sink and swept up the remains of the mug.  Sarah couldn’t bring herself to throw it away, not yet, so she set the dustpan on the lid of the trash and wandered into the living room.

Sarah collapsed in Bill’s recliner, clutching the pillow, trying to breathe in his scent so she’d never forget, and discovered she had a few more tears left after all.

 

Bill, Stanley, Emily, and Bonnie piled in the patrol car – not the trunk, thankfully.  Bill let Emily drive, wondering how much radiation the car had picked up and if they were endangering themselves.  Stanley’s truck was just as potentially irradiated and wouldn’t carry them all, though.

He wondered just how badly he was hurt that he’d even think of letting someone other than Jimmy drive their car.

Emily sped to the clinic and Bill didn’t bother to tell her to follow the speed limit.

 

There was a large crowd at the clinic, but Bill was hurt badly enough Dr. Green hustled him back into an exam room.  She wrapped his ribs, set his nose, and bandaged his cuts and scrapes. 

“I’d keep you overnight if we had room, but we don’t.  Have someone stay with you tonight.  If you feel like your head is getting worse, come back in.”

Bill nodded, wincing at the movement.

Jake peeked his head in the room.  “Bill, they just radioed from town hall.  They want you there as soon as you’re released from here.”

“Jake, he’s hurt and needs to go home,” April argued.

Jake shrugged.  “I’m just repeating what I was told.”

Bill stood carefully.  “I’ll go,” he said, resigned.  He desperately wanted to go home, but duty drew him back to work.

 

The sun set hours later and Sarah still hadn’t moved.  A car rumbled in the drive outside, inciting her to finally stir.  Was that someone come to tell her they’d found Bill’s body?  Why couldn’t they just let her live in ignorance?  She stood in the door of the living room, watching the front door.

Heavy footsteps on the porch and she braced herself for the clang of the doorbell but it didn’t come.  Instead a key scratched in the lock and the door opened and there was Bill and surely she was hallucinating because he couldn’t really be here, could he?

Bill stopped and looked at her, as in disbelief, and Sarah could only imagine she was goggling back at him, staring with red-rimmed eyes and dirty, stringy hair.  His t-shirt was bloody and streaked with dirt and bandages covered his forehead and nose and many other parts, but she didn’t see any of that, she just saw he was _here_ , he was _alive_ , he’d come _back_.

“Sarah.”  He said her name softly, as if for the first time.

She dropped the pillow and threw herself at him.  He grunted in pain as she hugged him, but he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tightly.

Sarah held on, not wanting to let go.  She tried to tell him how scared she’d been, how lost, but all that came out was “I broke your mug.”

Bill pulled back the slightest bit and looked at her, confused.  “I… what?”

Sarah tilted her head toward the kitchen, words stumbling out nearly incoherently.  “I was doing dishes – I had to do _something_ – and I dropped it and it broke and you weren’t there to yell at me and I thought you were _dead_ because they found the bus and you weren’t here and I couldn’t–”

Bill cut her off with a kiss and she grabbed the back of his head and tried to pull him even closer and there were tears and she wasn’t sure if they were hers or his or both but she really didn’t care.  When they broke, she rested her head on his shoulder and caressed his arm.

“I didn’t say goodbye,” he murmured into her hair.  “I thought for sure I wasn’t going to make it and all I could think of was that I didn’t tell you goodbye.”

Sarah smiled genuinely but weakly.  “Don’t scare me like this again.  I don’t think I can do it.”

“Not if I can help it.”

It was a long time before they broke apart.

 

At this point, Sarah didn’t think there was anything that could pry her from Bill’s side.  She needed to reach out and touch him frequently, just to be sure she wasn’t dreaming him.

She helped him undress, carefully leaving his bandages and wraps in place, while he gave her a quick – but horrifying – rundown of what had happened to him.  “Oh God, Bill.  I can’t believe you had to go through all that.  I’m so sorry.”

He cracked a small smile.  “Not your fault, babe.  We could have been more cautious about stopping.  I made it home, though.  That’s what matters right now.”

“Yes, but…”  Sarah bit her lip, letting her protest trail off.  They’d need to talk about everything else – the bombs, the other deputies, the future – but he was right.  He was alive.  He was relatively okay.  He was _here_.  She wanted to celebrate that.

A shower for him first, though, with some help to maneuver the shower head around his bandages – hopefully without causing him more pain.  Food next, since he hadn’t eaten in a whole day.

After that, however, Sarah intended to curl up in bed with Bill and quite possibly never let go.  Everything else could be dealt with later.


	2. End of September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 3 and 4 - recovery and paranoia and more radiation poisoning, oh my!

**September 27 th – September 29th**

Bill really did not want to get out of bed.

It wasn’t normally an issue for him – he’d been on this schedule for years – but this morning?  He ached and hurt and broken ribs protested every time he breathed.

The sun was up, though, and bright enough now that it’d woken Sarah.

She rolled over in bed, wrapping an arm lightly over his chest.  “I’m not letting you go anywhere today,” she mumbled.  “Not after what happened last time.”

As enticing as that sounded, Bill’s heart clenched.  He couldn’t stay here, he knew.  Not after… not after the bombs.  The fugitives.  The sheriff.  The other deputies.  The fallout.  The… the trunk.  And the mayor had asked him yesterday to be sure to come in today.  Jimmy, too.

Today, at least, he regretted his career choice.  But if he didn’t do it, who would?

He pulled out of Sarah’s grasp slowly, as she protested.  “I’ve got to go in,” he said gently.  “We’re sending groups out to get news and who knows what’s happening out there?”

She sat up a bit, propped on her elbows, looking resigned.  “Fine.  I’ll let you go.  But I’m going to come down later and make sure you aren’t doing anything stupid, like pushing yourself too hard.”

“What are _you_ going to do until then?” Bill asked, suddenly worried for her.

She flopped back down, groaning a little.  “If I can’t keep you home and safe all day, I’m probably going to go check and see if they need me for anything at the library.  Probably check on Margaret and the kids, too.  Heck, maybe the power will come back on and we’ll hear some news.”

“You didn’t see the broadcast yesterday afternoon, did you?” Bill asked, realizing Sarah had missed some news.  “I didn’t see it myself, but there was a news broadcast from China that showed multiple explosions; not just Denver and Atlanta.”

“Wait, Atlanta was hit?”  Sarah sat all the way up.  “Did they say anything about Chattanooga?”

Bill shook his head.  “I don’t think so.  The broadcast was only for a few seconds and it seemed to be the major cities.  New York and L.A. and such.”

Sarah sunk back into the bed.  “Wow.  It wasn’t just an accident, then.”

Bill reached out and gave her hand a squeeze.  “No.  That’s why I’ve got to get up and go in.”

Sarah followed him out of bed, getting dressed herself, and saw him out the door.  He watched her in the rear view mirror of the patrol car as he drove off: some part of him was afraid it’d be another long time before he came home again.

 

Margaret was as relieved and worried as Sarah was, she found.  It was nice to have someone who understood just how scary yesterday had been, even if the first thing Margaret did was fuss.

Margaret swatted Sarah on the arm.  “Where’d you go?  You worried me, too!”

Sarah held up her hands in surrender.  “I had to go downtown and see for myself and then I spent the fallout at home.”

Margaret frowned, but nodded.  “I’d’ve done the same except for the kids.  Someone had to keep it together for them.  I couldn’t let them know Jimmy wasn’t coming home, not until I knew for sure.”

Sarah’s heart ached for her friend.  She was lucky she hadn’t had to explain Bill’s absence to kids.  But…  “Oh!  I need to go tell Bill’s parents what happened!”

“What are you doing here, then?” Margaret asked.  “They need to know he’s okay and what’s going on.”

 

Sarah felt like she spent her whole morning explaining Bill’s misadventures – first to his horrified parents, who extracted a promise that she’d make him visit so they could see he was okay, and secondly to her coworkers who were lurking around the library, waiting for something to do.

She made it downtown right after lunch – cheese and crackers from her work stash – and Sarah was quietly disturbed at how abandoned it seemed: people should have been in the streets and the square, right?

Bill and Eric Green were about the only ones in the station, huddled around a radio transceiver.

“Hey!” Bill said, looking up and grinning as she walked in.  He waved her over behind the counter.  “We sent drivers out to see what’s happening in other places.  They’re radioing back here periodically.  Gray’s headed to Topeka; hopefully they’ll know something certain there.”

Sarah stood at Bill’s side, brushing shoulders with him, nodding a hello to Eric.  “Gray went?  Who else?”

“Jake went south,” Eric said.  “Shep Cale went to the west to hook up with FEMA and Greg Abrams is headed up into Nebraska.”

“They left about half an hour ago,” Bill added.  “Most people are over at Bailey’s, drinking and waiting to see if anything else comes on TV.  Yesterday, Mary worked on a map.  You may learn more over there.”

Sarah was tempted to go see this map, but didn’t want to leave her husband now that she’d met up with him again.  “I’m staying,” she said, lightly touching Bill’s back.  “I’ll help where you need me.”

“Well, that was all the good news,” Bill said.  “Sara came in and turned in her badge.  Said she was off to Wichita to find her ex and her little girl.  So now it’s just Jimmy and me.”

Sarah swore under her breath.  How dare Sara lump all this on the only other two deputies?  They needed all the help they could get.  “I’m _definitely_ staying and helping now.”

 

A half hour later, Bill stood at the map, drawing in the latest distance report from Abrams.

Eric paced the office.  “They should be about fifty miles out now,” he mulled, and continued to try to contact the drivers.

Jake was a no-response.  Shep tried to say something – all Bill could make out was “I’m sorry” and “tell the family” – but no one heard the whole thing.

Bill marked Gray’s latest location on the map and motioned Sarah closer from where she’d been hanging out at his desk.  “Scott Rennie died yesterday,” he explained quietly.  “Heart attack during the fallout.  Shep saw it happen.  We’re pretty sure that’s why he volunteered to go.”

Sarah’s eyes grew wide.  “But he’s got a kid, right?  I mean, she lives with her mom, but still…”

Bill gave her a sad shrug.  “That last message…  Sounds like he doesn’t plan on coming home.”

“Yeah,” Sarah said, agreeing sadly.  “I think you’re right.”

 

Gail Green poked her head into the office later that day.  “Oh good.  You have extra people.  All the meat and refrigerated items at Gracie’s are about to go bad, so we’re cooking them tonight.  Could use your help,” she said, pointedly looking at everyone except Eric and Bill.

Bill nodded at Sarah.  “Go help.  We’re just listening in here.  I’ll send someone if we hear anything important.”

Sarah kissed his cheek and squeezed his arm in farewell, following the mayor’s wife – who was a force of nature when she wanted to get something done.

Gail had her running hard for the next few hours: prepping food, grilling, setting up tables, gathering plates and utensils, stringing up lights, and in a few cases being sent to tell people in their homes to come join the gathering.  Feeding a few thousand people was a lot of work, but Gail was going to make sure it got done.

It also kept Sarah from dwelling on the past few days, which was a good thing.  She was too busy to hurt for Bill or worry about the future.

Sarah brought a tray of meat up to the grill just in time to see a commotion at the Town Hall doors.  “Look at that crowd coming out,” she remarked to Alex, the griller.  “Wonder what happened?”

“Think we should be concerned?” Alex asked.

Sarah shook her head, still watching.  “No, give it a min–”  She stopped abruptly when she saw Bill come out the doors, smiling, with a hand on Emily Sullivan’s back.  Emily, at least, looked happy.

“I’m gonna go see,” Sarah said, unceremoniously dropping the stack of steaks on the table by the grill.  “Be right back.”

If Sarah glanced around for Gail before jogging over to her husband, it wasn’t because she didn’t want to get fussed at.  Really.

Bill greeted her with an actual smile.  “Roger’s alive!”

“He is?”  Sarah knew their friend had gone to Chicago; she hadn’t really thought about it, but she’d’ve guessed that’s where he was when the bombs hit.  “How…?”

“Jake came back.  He found a downed plane on the road – they used a highway to land – and brought back the black box.  We were able to hear the pilot of Roger’s flight in the background say they set down safely.”

“Oh, that’s great!”  She grinned back at him; it was nice to have some actual _good_ news.

Bill paused in the middle of the crowd and sniffed.  “Okay, all that steak smells good.  When can we eat?”

Sarah waved a hand towards a table being set up.  “Gail’s trying to organize shifts, but there’s stuff coming off the grill already.  Go ahead and grab a plate and be in the first round.  Grab Jimmy, too.  And, uh, I better get back to work before she sees I’ve abandoned my post.”

Sarah gave Bill a quick kiss and ran back to the grill.

 

Bill found Jimmy already eating and joined him at his table, tucking into his food. 

For the first time since the bombs, he relaxed.  He was home safe.  Sarah was safe.  Jimmy was safe.  They’d been through some shit the past few days, but Jericho was still here.  Still a community – all he had to do was look around him to see that.

Jimmy joked and Bill stole some of his cake, since he’d forgotten to get a piece.  Beside them, Mayor Green and his wife actually smiled when they talked – another first since the bombs – and all around, people seemed a little hopeful. 

Maybe this wouldn’t last too long.  Maybe they’d hear some news soon.  Maybe they’d find out who did this to them and wipe the bastards off the face of the Ear–

“Hey, Jimmy?  Bill?”

He turned around.  Rick Adams, the county coroner, stood there nervously.

“Uh.  You should know, no one’s brought back Mike or the guys, or at least they haven’t brought them to me.”

Bill caught Jimmy’s eyes, shocked.  He hadn’t thought… he’d just assumed someone went back out yesterday or today.

Jesus, they were still out there.  The sheriff and the other deputies.  Their friends.  Just… lying out there, dead.  Shit.

“No one went back out?”  Jimmy asked, aghast.

Rick shook his head.  “Thought maybe you would, but…”

“We’ve been working,” Bill pointed out, feeling it was a weak excuse even as he gave it.  “We didn’t know…”

“We should go.  Now,” Jimmy said, shaking his head.  “Can’t let them stay another night.”

“No,” Bill agreed.  “Rick, can you get the hearse and follow us out?  Jimmy someone needs to go tell the guys’ wives what we’re doing.”

Jimmy blanched at the thought.  “Maybe… maybe Margaret can do that.  She’s, uh.  She’s good with people.  Right?

Well, Bill couldn’t say _he_ wanted to be the one to tell Kathy Dawes that they were just now going to retrieve her husband’s body.  He nodded and went to find Sarah.

 

“No,” Sarah said firmly.  “You’re not going back out there.”

Bill grabbed her hand and tugged her away from the serving line.  “I _have_ to.  We can’t just leave them out there.”

Sarah sighed.  He was right, as much as she didn’t want to admit it.  “Okay, but you’re not going out there alone.  Not after last time.”

He frowned.  “I won’t be alone.  Jimmy and Rick will be there.”

“No, I mean I’m coming too,” she insisted.  “You still have broken ribs.  The last thing you need to be doing is trying to carry… carry bodies.”

“Sarah, no!  We don’t know what it’s like out there–”

“Bill Koehler, if you think that’s gonna work on me, you’ve got another think coming.  That makes me _more_ determined to go keep an eye on you.”  Sarah crossed her arms but softened her voice.  “Babe, I usually listen to you.  I trust your judgment.  You know I do.  But this time, I’m not backing down.  You know it make sense to have someone else out there with you.  I can _help_.”

For a moment, it looked as if Bill would protest, but he sighed.  “Okay.  We’re leaving in ten from behind the station, after Rick gets the hearse.  We aren’t going to wait on you.”

 

As much as it pained her, Sarah had to admit Bill had been at least partially right.

She _wasn’t_ prepared to see the bodies of men she’d known, two days after they’d died.  Kansas wasn’t the hot and humid South, but it was still warm enough during the day that the sight had become gruesome.

Still, _she_ had been right that her help was needed.  Both Bill and Jimmy were still hurt, so once the coroner was ready to load the bodies in the hearse, she had to help carry them – or what was left of them.

Sarah had to keep mentally referring to them as ‘bodies’, not as the friends and acquaintances they’d been three days ago.  Some of these men had been jerks to Bill, but none of them deserved this fate.

The drive back into town was quiet.  Bill had the lights going as they led the hearse back to the morgue, but left the siren off.  No one in the patrol car felt much like chatting.

The square was deserted when they got back to Town Hall.  Sarah was almost glad, but the sight made her wince.  No one had picked up the tables and some of the trash still rolled in the streets.  Even in a place like Jericho, you couldn’t avoid litter.

“Gail will make sure this gets cleaned up in the morning,” Bill pointed out, squeezing her hand as they walked to his SUV.  “You know she will.”

“Yeah…,” Sarah said softly.  “I know.  She won’t let that go unfinished.  And I guess it’s nice not to see the place empty after… after coming back from all that.”

“Hey,” he said, pulling her to a stop.  “Are you okay?  I should have insisted you didn’t go, shouldn’t I?”

She shook her head.  “No.  I needed to be out there.  And if I’m bothered, what about you?  I mean, you–”  She cut herself off at the expression that flitted across Bill’s face.  He didn’t need to be reminded of all he’d lost.  “Let’s just go home, okay?  Be safe and be glad we’re both still here, all right?”

“Good plan,” Bill agreed.

 

Bill had barely stepped inside when Sarah spun him around and grabbed him for a deep, searching kiss.  He could still taste the peppery seasoning from the steak she’d had for dinner.

“Babe,” he whispered, not letting her go.

“Bill, that could have been you out there if the Sheriff had sent Connor and Salem out after Jake instead.”

He held her close and stroked her hair.  “But he didn’t.”

“I know.”  She fiddled with his buttons, undoing them one by one.  “But I need to be sure.  I need you.”

Bill let her pull back and kiss him again.  Truth be told, it was probably a cliché, but he felt the need to fight back against the death they’d seen.  He took Sarah’s hand and led her to the bedroom.

Sarah gingerly helped Bill undress and let him do the same for her before they fell into bed. 

She was gentle and caring and avoided his hurt sides, but it was still everything Bill needed after the night he’d had.

~~~

 

“Ah, shit.”  Sarah rolled over and caught Bill’s arm as he got out of bed.

“What is it?” he asked, suddenly worried.

“I promised your parents you’d stop by and see them.  Can you go on your way into work?  Or do I need to bring them down to the station?”

“Why didn’t they find me last night at the party?”  Bill thought back and realized he hadn’t seen his parents there at all.

“I tried to get them to come,” Sarah explained, “but your dad wasn’t feeling well.”

Bill frowned.  His dad’s health had been getting worse since he retired a few years ago.  The lengthy power outage couldn’t be doing him any good.  He ought to at least stop by and check that their generator was working.

“I’ll go this morning if you’ll head on into the office and tell Jimmy where I am,” he suggested.

Sarah groaned, but got up with him.  “Fine.  I’ll see if I can help out, too.”

 

Pam gathered Bill into a big hug, making him grateful for Sarah’s tight bandage wrapping that morning.  He wasn’t supposed to still be wearing it, but it helped with the pain – especially when people insisted on hugging him.

“Mom, I’m okay,” he protested, pulling back.  “I’m just still sore.”

“Oh, honey,” Pam said, pulling Bill into the house.  “Do you need an ice pack?  What still hurts?”

“No, none of that!”  Bill sat on the couch opposite his father, who raised a hand in acknowledgement.  He looked worse than Bill felt.  “Can I be getting anything for _you_ guys?”

Hank shook his head.  “Just tired, son.  Worried about you.”

Bill almost rolled his eyes – he was used to his parents worrying about him – but he realized that the last few days had given then legitimate reasons to worry.

“Have you heard about San Antonio?”

San Antonio.  His sister and her wife. 

“No, Mom, I haven’t heard anything.  We know Dallas got hit, but not about anywhere else in Texas.”

Pam frowned, but nodded.  She’d obviously been hoping for more news.

“I’ve got to head on to work,” he said, “but if I promise to stop by more, will you worry less?”

“You and Sarah both,” Pam insisted.  “We worry about you two.”

“We’re both fine,” Bill argued again.  “I promise we’ll keep in better touch.

“You do that.”  Pam saw Bill to the door, but stopped him just outside.  “Your father’s not doing well.  There’s pain in his lungs, but the clinic turned us away.  Not enough generator power to run the x-ray machine, they said.”

Bill nodded.  “I’ll see what we can do.”

 

Bill didn’t even get a chance to mention the clinic generator to Jimmy; they were busy until long after dark.  They barely got a chance to check on each other and make sure the other was hanging in there.  Bill was shocked at how composed Jimmy seemed, as if they had never been kidnapped or lost their coworkers.

Eric Green kept coming in with instructions from his dad, acting as if he were the new Sheriff.  Bill bristled at this, but Jimmy just went along with the flow.

That’s when Bill started worrying about Jimmy.  His partner would never come out and say he was having problems, but maybe Sarah could learn something from Margaret.

Wives were so helpful sometimes.

They kept busy, checking the radios for any communications from Shep and Gray, but neither checked in.  More images also appeared on the TV at Bailey's, but neither man got a chance to go watch.  According to Eric, it looked like somewhere in the Midwest.

Around nine-thirty, when both men were getting reading to leave, Heather hobbled in, saying that someone broke into the pharmacy down the street.

 

Bill stood in the pharmacy, glass crunching at his feet, looking in horror at the man on the ground.

Jake told him to help, but Bill flat-out refused.  What if Bill’s ribs got hurt worse picking him up?  What if this man were radioactive?  What if he took home radiation and it hurt Sarah?  He was a deputy, not an EMT.

“Not without gloves or a HazMat suit,” he insisted.  “He could be contagious.”

Stanley, who’d run into them on the street and followed, scoffed at Bill.  “What if it was me lying here, Bill?”

“It’s not like you, Stanley,” Jimmy protested, and Bill knew he was troubled by all this, too. 

 

They followed Jake and Stanley to the clinic.  Bill felt a little cowed that Stanley would do something he wouldn’t, but Bill had more to think about.  At least that’s what he told himself.

Once at the clinic, April directed Jake and Stanley to an empty room, then stopped and looked at Bill.  “Raise your arms and let me check your ribs,” she instructed.

Bill complied.

April frowned.  “You’re not supposed to be wearing compression bandages anymore.  I only gave you those to get through the first night.”

Bill brought his arms down, looking a little ashamed.  “It helps with the pain.”

“You wear it too much, you can get pneumonia.  I’ll see what heavier painkillers we’ve got for you.”

Bill shook his head.  He didn’t want to take any prescription medications from others who might need them.  “I don’t need heavier painkillers.  I’m making do with over the counter stuff.”

April made a face at him.  “That’ll kill your liver.  You’re one of our two deputies left.  You get the painkillers.  No arguments.”

Bill deflated.  “Yes ma’am.”

“Good.  I’ll get one of the nurses to set you up while I check on our new patient.”

 

Johnston Green came over to where Bill and Jimmy stood in the hall.  “Any word from Shep or Gray?”

“No, Mayor.  Still can’t get ‘em on the radio,” Jimmy explained.

Bill was struck with a sudden dark thought.  “Maybe they got captured by those tanks Stanley saw.”  He’d almost forgotten about the tanks, but the radiation poisoned man had Bill on high alert.  What else was coming to Jericho?

Jimmy sighed.  “Those tanks are probably just National Guard, oka–”

“You don’t know that,” interrupted Bill before the Mayor shushed him.  He breathed deeply and continued, serious as he could be.  “They could be China.  They could be Iran.  Al-Qaeda.  North Korea.  Anybody who hates us.  They could be coming here and what’s our line of defense?  You’re looking at it.”  Bill gestured at himself and Jimmy, hoping he got across how serious their situation was.

From the looks on their faces, he wasn’t successful.

 

Bill slunk home, feeling defeated.  It hadn’t been a good night and now he wasn’t getting home until close to midnight.

Sarah was waiting up for him in the dark.  She met him at the door, ready to take his coat and belt and help him get comfortable.

“How was your day, babe?” she asked carefully.  “You were gone a long time.”

Bill sighed, hanging his hat up by the coat closet.  He described his day – how everything from trying to get ahold of Gray and Shep to the radioactive man had seemed to go against him.

Sarah ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from where it’d flopped in his eyes.  “Go get on pajamas,” she instructed.  “I’m going to use a little bit of generator gas to heat you up some food.  Dinty Moore stew okay?”

Bill nodded gratefully.  How lucky was he to have someone like Sarah waiting at home for him?

A thought crossed his mind.  “How are we doing on gas, babe?  Do we have enough for now?”

“Well…,” Sarah said.  “We’re starting to run low.  But I can siphon some out of my car and walk everywhere for now.  Until things get back to normal.”

She glanced down and Bill knew she was feeling overweight.  “I could probably use the exercise anyway,” she said sadly.

Bill pulled her to him and kissed her deeply.  “You look lovely just the way you are.”

“Says you when we’re in the dark,” she chuckled half-heartedly and pushed him away.  “Go change into something comfortable, like I said before.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He wouldn’t let Sarah see it, but now he had new things to worry about – their generator gas and if Sarah was feeling down again.

Why was everything falling on him?

~~~

 

For the fourth day in a row, Bill found himself lying in bed, not wanting to get up.

Waking up these last few days had been horrific:  slowing waking and remembering everything that had happened, everyone that had been lost.  Every day seemed to add a new weight to his mind.  Today, he had to go follow up on the radiated man.  Had he survived the night?  Had he said anything?  Had any more shown up?

He rolled over and put an arm around Sarah, pulling her close.  Maybe she would give him some excuse to stay home.

Sarah rolled to face him and slowly opened her eyes.  “Hey handsome,” she muttered, reaching out to rub her thumb lightly over the scratches still on Bill’s face.  She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a good morning kiss.

Bill pressed into it, looking for more.  He ran a hand down her side, making her shiver. 

“It’s _that_ kind of morning, is it?” she asked, laughing.  “Okay, as long as we don’t hurt you.”

Bill grinned and rolled on top of Sarah, pinning her to the bed.  “It worked the other night.  And I promise to use a safe word,” he said between kisses.

Sarah laughed and kissed his chin.  “We have safe words now?”

“Yeah.”  Bill worked her gown up over her head.  “’Ow, stop’ is a pretty good one, I figure.”

She yanked down his boxers and laughed again.  “Okay, babe.  I promise to stop if I hear that.”

This morning was looking up already.

 

Bill arrived at the station more relaxed and a little later than normal.  Jimmy gave him a knowing look, but Bill didn’t care.

“We’re supposed to go meet the mayor at the Clinic again.  Apparently the guy woke up and said something.”

Bill leaned back in his chair and tapped a pen on his desk.  “And so we’re locking the office up yet again.  Some deputies _we_ are.”

“That’s not fair, Bill, and you know it,” chastised Jimmy.  “The mayor’s the closest thing to the sheriff we have now and it’s safer if we stick together.”

Bill sighed.  Jimmy was right, but he hated all the times they had to drop everything and run for Mayor Green or for Eric. 

Oh well, nothing for it.  Off to the clinic they went.

 

Hire new deputies?  Where were they going to start?  How were they going to train anyone new?

Bill and Jimmy looked at each other, bewildered, as Eric and the Mayor walked off.  “Any ideas?”

Jimmy nodded.  “I got one.  Robert Hawkins.”

Bill scoffed.  Of course Jimmy thought of the guy who’d already been a cop.  “Maybe I should go through our application records and see who’s applied in the past.”

“Good idea.”

 

Bill pored over the applications in the Sheriff’s office, feeling out of place at his desk.  Finally narrowing it down to three guys, he headed over to Bailey’s on a hunch.

Yup, Mark Bell was still over there, hanging out with his friends.  Probably a little drunk, but if he was willing to do the job, Bill was willing to overlook the tipsiness on the first day.

“Mark Bell?” he asked, even though he knew exactly who he was.

“It’s Deputy Bill!” Mark crowed drunkenly.  “What can I d…do for you?”

“You can put down that beer, for one.  You applied to the department last year, right?”

“Ayup.”

“Great.  You’re hired.  Starting now.  Come with me.”  Bill took a step back, waiting for Mark to follow.  He didn’t right away.  “You think I’m joking?  Come on!”

Mark stumbled to his feet.  “What’s this about?” he protested, but he followed Bill, who handed him an extra deputy’s star.

Bill explained the situation, stopping when they reached the front of the tavern.  “All right, everyone,” he announced as loudly as he could.  “The clinic is in short supply of gas for its generator, so we’re asking everyone to donate five gallons.”  He looked over at Mary, who was glaring at him so hard he could feel it.  “You’re excused, Mary.  Nowhere else to get a TV signal.”

Mary nodded triumphantly and went back to tending the bar.

The rest of the people in the tavern milled about uncomfortably.  No one hopped up to volunteer gas.  Most were mumbling excuses.

“You all have one hour to go home and deliver your five gallons to the clinic.  This goes for everyone in town, so let your neighbors know!” Bill pronounced, making himself as tall and as intimidating as he could.

“We’ll see if that works,” he told Mark as they left the tavern.  “We’ll figure something out if not.”

 

“ _Bill,_ ” came Eric over the radio later in the afternoon.

“What’s up?” he asked, not feeling like following proper radio protocol today.

“ _I’m going to head to the clinic with what I’ve got.  How’re things on your end?”_

“It’s not looking good,” Bill replied, walking along Main Street with Mark.  “They’re still 90 gallons short at the clinic.  People are scared, Eric.  They’re hoarding.”

“ _Maybe we can’t afford to be so polite,_ ” Eric said ominously.

Bill and Mark looked at each other and the empty gas cans they carried.  “Maybe he’s right.  Let’s start with Gracie,” Bill said, pointing ahead to where Gracie Leigh’s car was parked.

Bill got him started, but Mark pumped out one can’s worth of gas from Gracie’s car.

“Thank you for your contribution, Ms. Leigh.  Very civic-minded of you,” Mark quipped as he finished up.

“We _tried_ asking,” pointed out Bill.

“Hey, Bill, look at that,” Mark said, motioning towards a truck parked behind the dumpsters.

“Parked in a no parking zone,” Bill said lightly.  “What’s the fine on that?”

“I’d say about ten gallons,” guessed Mark.

“I’d say you’re right,” Bill said, nodding as they walked to the truck.

 

They got their ten gallons, but the truck instantly worried Bill.  It had the Anderson-Stevens mine logo on the side and a window was busted out bloodily.  A wallet sat on the seat, but Victor Miller wasn’t a name he knew.  He looked vaguely familiar, though.

It hit him: this was Shep Cale’s truck.  And the wallet belonged to the stranger in the clinic.

“Jimmy!” he radioed.  “You gotta get over here.  We found Shep’s truck.”

“Mark,” Bill said, turning to the new deputy.  “Keep trying to get gasoline.  I’m going to stay here.”

 

Jimmy showed up with Robert Hawkins in tow and a brief discussion led to the decision they needed to talk to Victor Miller.

Problem was, they had to get past April first.

“No,” she flat out refused before stalking off.

Jimmy and Bill looked at each other.  Neither wanted to argue with April.  Time to call in the big guns:  Jimmy radioed Eric.

Jake wandered by as they radioed his brother.  “What’s going on?”

Bill filled him in and Jake looked surprised.  “Well, now we know how he got into town.  I know where he came from.”

 

Bill argued vociferously for waking Victor Miller and questioning him.  After all, he was the only one who knew what happened to Shep.

It was perhaps inevitable, but everyone finally agreed to let Hawkins and Jake do the questioning.  Bill, Jimmy, and Eric stood guard at the door, keeping April from stopping the interrogations.  Some part of Bill felt he and Jimmy should have been doing the interrogating, but he was grateful for a brief rest from the action today.  It’d been a busy one and his ribs were aching.

Victor Miller didn’t survive the interrogation.  Bill hadn’t thought he would.  But to hear the truck was found abandoned at Bass Lake – well, that didn’t sit well with him.  Where had Shep got to?  Why had all of Miller’s people just stopped at the lake?  Were they all in as bad a shape as him?

Jake rounded up volunteers and they headed out to the lake, Bill and Jimmy leading the way in patrol cars.

It was a grim sight.  An impromptu campsite had been set up and people lay strewn about it, dead.

This was where I brought Sarah on our first real date, Bill thought, and look at it now.  He covered his face briefly.

The nurses from the clinic who’d come quickly checked everyone’s pulse.  Bill’s first instinct had been correct: no survivors.

All that was left was to bury them and burn their belongings.

 

Sarah was waiting for Bill at the door to the station when Bill and the others got back.  Jimmy and Bill walked in sadly, Bill motioning for Sarah to stay away until they could get washed up.

“I heard what happened at the lake.  A couple people came back early and told everyone at Bailey’s,” she said.

“And you were at Bailey’s?” Bill asked.  He wouldn’t be mad, but it was out of character for Sarah to hang out there alone.

“News travels fast here,” she explained.  “I was on my way here to see when you’d be free tonight and ran into Jennifer.”

Ah, her most gossipy coworker.  It was a surprise Sarah didn’t know more than Bill if she were involved.

“There’s going to be a memorial service for everyone who’s died tonight.  Come home with me and get cleaned up so you can go.”

“What makes you think I want to go?” Bill asked, tiredly.

“You need to,” Sarah said simply.  “You need to say goodbye.”

Damned if she wasn’t right.

 

The little Presbyterian Church downtown was packed.  At Sarah’s urging, Bill slid in next to Jimmy while she sat in the back.  It was dark inside, lit only by candles.  If it weren’t the wrong time of year, Bill could believe it was decorated for a midnight Advent service.

Bill was hit with the loss of the sheriff and his coworkers.  His eyes filled with tears as the mayor spoke their names.  How many more people had they lost?  What about his sister in San Antonio?  His family in New York?  His uncle in Lawrence?  Sarah’s family?  Who had they lost that they didn’t even know about?

The mayor spoke, his message short, asking people to stand if they’d lost someone.

Tears in his eyes, Bill stood next to Jimmy.  He didn’t look back to see if Sarah stood too. 

 

Sarah stood when the mayor asked about missing people.  She didn’t know about her family.  Tennessee might not seem like a great target, but if Atlanta had been hit, her Tennessee relatives were probably in the fallout.

Or they could be fine.

She hated not knowing. 

Whether or not they were alive, it _felt_ like they were dead.  She’d been hiding her grieving from Bill by limiting it to the day while he was gone.  She knew that wasn’t healthy, but she didn’t want to burden Bill any more.

And now he’d be hiring and training new deputies, which would take him from her even more.

She couldn’t wait until normality returned.  If it ever returned.

The service over, she waited in the pew for Bill to join her.  She waved at Bonnie and Stanley and nodded at Emily Sullivan, knowing she was still missing Roger. 

Then again, who _wasn’t_ missing _someone_?

Bill found her a minute later and it was clear he’d been crying.  They hugged, as tight as Sarah was willing with his ribs.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered in his ear.  “I’m so sorry you lost the others.  I’m sorry we don’t know more about your family.”

“We’ll find out,” Bill said, trying to sound sure.  “We’ll find your family too.  I promise.”

Sarah wanted to hold Bill to that promise like crazy, but she knew it wasn’t reasonable.  “We’ll see,” she said.

Right now, she wanted to take Bill home and do nothing but hold him and be grateful she still had him, and she told him so.

He agreed.


	3. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 5 & 6 - the power comes back on, but it's not always a good thing. Bill forgets their anniversary and then pisses off Stanley - he just can't catch a break.

**October 2 nd – 20th**

Sarah walked Bill to work that morning.  It was earlier than she would have liked to be up but in the past week, times with Bill were few and far between.

“You gonna be late recruiting and training again?”  She knew the answer, but still had to ask.

“Unfortunately, but it’s got to be done.  These new guys are enthusiastic but hopeless so far.”  Bill squeezed her hand and gave her a quick kiss before veering off to Town Hall.

Sarah debated walking back home and getting into bed, but decided to swing by the library instead.  There wasn’t much she could do either place with the power off, but she felt a bit guilty for _not_ working.  She’d shown up – at least briefly – every day since the bombs, so she might as well keep that up.

She snuck in the back door and found a reading room with windows facing the morning sun.  She waved at Joanna, who was already there, and settled in on a bean bag.  Here, at least, she could take notes for that program on the Revolutionary War she’d been spearheading.  It was probably a futile effort now, but it was _something_ semi-productive.

Sarah buried herself in her work, tuning everything else out – at least until the phones started ringing.

The phones shook Sarah from her reverie and she sat there for a moment, stunned.  Around her, the library’s emergency lights flickered on.

Power!  They had power!

She looked at Joanna.  “Is that...?”

“That is,” Joanna answered.

Both women leapt up and ran for the closest desk, meeting the few other coworkers who had trickled in that morning.  Sarah hit the speaker button and listened as a recorded message came across.

“Hello.  This is Assistant Secretary Walsh from the Department of Homeland Security.  Do not be alarmed.  If you are safe, stay where you are.  Do not attempt to leave.  We will be in contact again shortly.  Until then, know that help is on the way.”

Sarah caught Joanna’s eye as the message cycled.  Everyone seemed just as stunned and confused.  “…the hell?” Sarah whispered.

 

Sarah ran home and plugged in everything she could to charge and even took the chance to vacuum quickly.  She cooked a hot lunch and packed it: that would be a nice surprise for Bill.

Town Hall wasn’t as busy as Sarah had feared, but it was still bustling.  She saw Jimmy first, in the sheriff’s station, checking that everything was plugged into chargers.

“What’s going on?” Sarah asked, hoping they’d heard more news.

Jimmy shook his head.  “You probably know as much as we do.  Can’t call out, but at least we’ve got electricity.”

Bill hurried in, walking briskly to the sheriff’s office.  “Figured you’d show.  I’m supposed to call out until we reach the National Guard.  Come on in.”  He waved for her to follow.

Sarah leaned against the desk while Bill sat down and started dialing and re-dialing.

“So you guys haven’t heard anything more than the recording?”

“No, afraid not.”  Bill shook his head.

Sarah waited and watched while Bill tried to call out, reaching out to hold his hand when he started getting frustrated.  The power flickered a few times, but always came back on.

Bill’s radio squawked and Sarah could just about make it out.  “What’s that about the library?” she asked.

His eyes widened.  “There’s a fire.”

“Oh, shit!”  Sarah scrambled out of the office without waiting to see if anyone was following her.  She wasn’t a volunteer fireman, but she had to see.  She’d just been there; she left coworkers there.

 

“Jesus,” Bill swore, slamming the phone down.  “Come back!” 

He rushed into the main room.  “Jimmy!  You got the volunteers on the way?”

Jimmy nodded and gave Bill a pointed look.  “We going out, too?” 

“We’ve got to,” Bill said.  “You know Chief Carroll took half the volunteers with him to Denver the other day.”  And now my wife’s out there, he thought, shouldering his jacket.

“Alright, you guys,” Jimmy instructed to the trainees that were there.  “Stay here.  Take reports.  Don’t do _anything_ unless it’s an emergency.”

He and Jimmy sped to the library, lights and sirens blaring, and pulled in just ahead of the fire trucks.

He spotted Sarah standing in the watching crowd and bit his lip in anger.  Why did she have to run off like that?  At least she was among her coworkers and not trying to become a volunteer fireman.

He followed Jimmy over to the acting chief, who’d just finished talking with Eric.  “Electrical spike!” he yelled over the roaring fire.  “Waiting for the power to be turned off!  There’s a second fire on the south side.  I sent half the force there, but it’s spreading quickly.”

Oh no.  The south side was the poorest side of town; the people there could least afford to lose their homes.  Bill said a quick prayer for them before going to find Sarah.

“Why did you run like that?” he asked without pleasantries.

Sarah looked ashamed, but only for a moment.  “You’d’ve run too, if it was Town Hall.”

“I’m _supposed_ to run!” Bill exclaimed.  “You’re supposed to stay back, where it’s safe.”

“I wanted to make sure my coworkers were okay!  I’m not going to apologize for that!”  She crossed her arms and turned away from Bill toward the fire.

Bill was torn between walking away and strangling her.  Neither were exactly satisfactory, but he had to do something, so he stalked across the parking lot to Jimmy, leaving Sarah to her anger.

 

Sarah thought about taking a walk to cool down, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the fire eating her workplace – and, so far, the failure of the fire department to save it.  She knew the homes on the south side were more important, but it was still sad to see the library burn – there hadn’t been too many places she liked to work, but this was one of them.

“Think we’ll be able to salvage any books?” Joanna asked.

“Not if they don’t hurry,” Sarah said.  “I hope so, though.”

Streams of water shot from the fire truck’s hoses, but almost immediately failed.

“Oh, what now?”  Sarah sighed unhappily.  She could go ask Bill, but he was probably still mad.  To be fair, so was she.

 

Ten minutes later, three people came out of the library.  It almost made Sarah sick to know how close Eric, Heather, and that little girl came to dying.  Thank goodness the water came back on when it did.

Jake and Stanley came running into view, yelling something about the east woods.

“What’d he say about the east side?” Sarah asked.

“Another fire, I think,” Joanna said.  “You better go check.”

A fire on their side of town?  That was worth breaking her temporary silence towards Bill.

He beat her to it.  As soon as she walked over, he said, “There’s a fire, but it’s still a mile from us.  It’s in the Pines right now.  We can’t do anything about it; the firefighters are already spread too thin between this fire and the one in the trailer park.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Sarah asked, gesturing back at her coworkers.  The fire was finally coming under control, so maybe some of them could go form a bucket line or something.

Bill frowned, apparently reading her mind.  “No, leave it to the people with training.” 

Sarah sighed.  Standing here watching one fire burn down while she knew two others were raging wasn’t doing her any good.  “What _can_ I do?” she asked plaintively.

Bill thought for a second.  “Can you go back down to the station and make sure the new guys aren’t making any huge mistakes?  They’re still pretty green.”

“That, I can do,” Sarah said, relieved to have a job.

 

Thankfully, the station wasn’t busy – most everyone was out dealing with the fires – because she could tell Bill was right.  These guys were hopeless so far.  Hell, _she’d_ never been taught what to do, but she knew she could handle the office stuff better than they were.  

After a painful half hour observing, Sarah got up, shaking her head.  “All right guys, skootch over.  I’m taking over reports.”

The men jumped to attention when she spoke and moved aside for her, as if they were scared.  It almost made Sarah laugh.

“Look, y’all.  I’ll take the reports and you go out and handle them if they’re simple.  If they’re tricky or you’re not sure, just hang on to them until Bill and Jimmy get back.  We can make this work.”

 

Bill and Jimmy wandered in, dog-tired, a couple hours later.  Bill’s uniform was ashy and he knew it’d betray to Sarah just how involved he’d been with some of the fire containment.

He saw her behind the counter and didn’t even blink; somehow he’d expected that.  He walked over and whispered a “thank you,” giving her arm a squeeze.

“Couldn’t let things fall apart here,” she whispered back, trying not to let the new guys hear her.

Bill flopped in his desk chair, glad Sarah was there to divert all the new guys’ questions to Jimmy.  He just wasn’t expecting _her_ to have questions.

“I was thinking,” she said, a little excitedly, “I’m not going to be needed at the library now that it’s gone.  Why don’t you hire me on as a deputy and I can do this all day?”

Bill sat up quickly, sputtering.  “No!”

Sarah’s face hardened.  “Why not?”

Bill looked around for support, but found none.  “Well… well, for one if I hired my wife, it’d be nepotism,” he tried.

“And Jericho had no nepotism before now, is that what you’re telling me?”  Sarah looked pointedly at Jimmy, who’d been hired after he married the Sheriff’s niece. 

“I’m saying we don’t need to start it now.”

“But it’s fine for me to come in and watch things for you today?”

Bill huffed, frustrated.  He couldn’t tell Sarah why he _really_ wouldn’t let her be a deputy in front of all these people.  “Look, come with me,” he said, leading her into an interrogation room where they wouldn’t be disturbed.

“What?” Sarah asked petulantly, once the door closed.

“There’s two real reasons I won’t hire you,” Bill explained.  “First, you don’t like conflict.  That’s most of the job right there.  You’d hate it.”

“But I could do it if necessary,” Sarah protested.

Bill shook his head.  “Second, you and I are both going to run out of meds in a couple of weeks.  Can you see yourself doing this job – this long, hard, dangerous job full of conflict – without your meds?”

That made Sarah blink.  She obviously hadn’t realized how short they both were on medication.  “Surely the pharmacy has more?”

“Of some.  Your lithium, for example.  But the rest of it?  Antidepressants and benzos?  They’re almost out.”

“So pretty much, I’m going to be useless in a couple weeks,” Sarah said sadly.

Bill reached out and grabbed her hand.  “Not useless.  Just dealing with a lot more.  And so am I.  You know this job can be dangerous.  If this help from the federal government doesn’t come quickly, it’s likely to get _more_ dangerous because people are impatient.  I can’t worry about you trying to do this job, unmedicated, and still do mine, also unmedicated.”

Sarah held Bill’s hand, studying it.  “Is there anything I can still do?  Sitting at home, worrying about _you_ won’t be good for me.  You’ll be just as bad as I am off your meds.”

Bill thought for a moment.  “You can come here and take care of me.  If you’re taking reports and dealing with the filing, that’ll help a lot, as you saw today.  And we’ll be here together.”

“I can do that.  Or try to.”

“Good.”  Bill leaned forward and gave Sarah a kiss.  “Head home for now.  I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

Sarah took advantage of the power being back – rushing around doing laundry, dishes, and taking a _truly_ hot shower – so much so that she didn’t even hear the door when Bill came home.

He snuck up behind her and grabbed her waist, making her jump.

“Jesus, Bill, you scared me!” she yelped, spinning around.

He grinned.  “Point for me, then.”  He shed his work coat and headed for their bathroom.  “Still didn’t hear anything new.  Never made it through to the National Guard, either.  Left one of the newbies to keep trying,” he explained as he went.

“I was hoping you’d have better news.”

“ _I_ was hoping for a shower with you,” Bill countered, grinning.

 

They were halfway undressed when the ground started shaking.

“Earthquake, here?” Sarah asked, pulling her shirt back on and moving to stand in the doorway.  “Thought the Humbolt fault wasn’t that active?”

“It isn’t.”  Bill pushed past her, buckling his pants.  “This has got to be something else.”

Bill burst through the front door, Sarah at his heels.  They stared at the sky and…

“Missiles?” Sarah asked quietly.  She looked at Bill to check his reaction.

Bill was grinning broadly.  “ _Hell_ yeah!  This means we figured out which bastards hit us and we’re wiping them off the map!” he cheered.

Sarah watched the missile arcs; it _did_ look like they’d been launched from American soil and were outward bound.  Maybe this _was_ a good sign.  Maybe it meant the government was still out there, the military too, and things were going to go back to normal.  If they were bombing the right people in the right places, that was…

The missiles passed directly overhead and there was a bright flash, making them both flinch and cover their eyes.  All around them, power lines sparked and the town fell dark again.

“Well, shit,” Sarah whispered.  “Hey Bill?  I’m sorry for ever making fun of you watching those Doomsday prepper shows.”

“That was an EMP, wasn’t it?” he asked carefully.  “Just like those guys talked about.”

“I think so,” Sarah agreed.  “That was one of the things they worried about during the Cold War.  Some of the high altitude missiles were theorized to cause them.”

“God damn it.  I never even got my shower.”  Bill slumped his shoulders.  “And I probably should head in again.  It’ll be another long night.”

Sarah shot him a serious look.  “I’m coming with you this time and don’t you dare argue.”

He opened his mouth, but apparently thought better of arguing.  “Come on, I better get dressed.”

~~~

 

Bill stood at the generator outside Town Hall and pounded it with his fist, praying it would somehow make it work.

“It was an EMP, Bill, not a flash grenade,” Jake said annoyingly as he walked by.  “The generator’s not gonna work.”

“My old ass car works,” Bill muttered to himself.  “Maybe the old ass generator works too.  Could be good your dad doesn’t update anything around here.”

He continued grumbling while he fumbled with the generator, opening the side so he could look at the engine.

As far as he could tell, there was nothing wrong with it.  Maybe if he stripped some wire from inside and replaced it, he could get it running.

And if he could get this one running, maybe he could get the one at the clinic running.  _That_ would be a blessing to the town.

He just needed to work a little harder…

 

Sarah came out to check on him just before it got dark.  “Are you out here working on the generator or avoiding the craziness inside?”

He wiggled out from under the generator.  “Is it bad in there?”

“You know it is,” Sarah said patiently.  “There’s more crime – or more reports of crime – since the power’s out.  The new guys are trying, but they’re just not up to standard yet.”

“I’m working on this.  I’m almost finished.  I think I got it…”  Bill swapped out one last wire and stood up.  “Now to see if I wasted my day or not.”

He slowly flipped the switches on the generator and then pushed the ‘on’ button.

Miraculously, the engine sputtered to life.

“Yes!”  Bill pumped his fist in the air.  “Take that, Jake Green!”

~~~

 

For once, there wasn’t a line waiting when Bill got to the sheriff’s station that morning.  It was a little early for most people.

But most people weren’t Bill and Jimmy, who were used to getting to work by 5:30.  Before, it’d been their chance to catch up on the night’s happenings before heading on patrol.  Now, it was their only chance to talk to each other alone.

Bill sat in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk, mirroring Jimmy one desk over.

“So what do you think?” Jimmy asked.  “How’re we doing?”

“I think mostly we’re screwed,” Bill said honestly.  “Since we can’t offer pay, most of these guys are good-for-nothings who can’t keep a regular job.”

“Well, there’s the ones like Mark, who want to be here but wouldn’t pass the hiring process,” Jimmy added with a wry smile.

“Exactly.  None of them would make it through hiring or the Academy, but that’s all we have to work with.”

Jimmy nodded and both fell quiet for a while.  There wasn’t much they could do to fix that problem.  Until they could pay and have an actual Academy – not the two of them talking the guys through problems as they went – they weren’t going to have high quality recruits.  Still, they needed the help.

“So I was thinking,” Jimmy said after a bit.  “We’ve been giving them the extra deputy stars, but should we track down uniforms for these guys?”

“If we can get them, yes,” Bill agreed right away.  Jimmy might get by on his size, but a uniform helped Bill assert authority.  “If we’re serious about them being deputies, we need to uniform them.”

Jimmy nodded.  “Okay then.  There’s a few uniforms in storage, but we’ll need more.”

“Well, the store the department used is on this side of New Bern.  We heard from Greg that it was safe passage that far, at least.”

“I can take one of the guys and go today, unless you want to?” Jimmy asked.

Oh, what a loaded question that was.  Did Bill want to get away from the constant questions and constant complaints that had become their lives?  Of course he did. 

But so did Jimmy.

“Rock Paper Scissors for it?”

Jimmy agreed.  “Seems fair.”

Good old Jimmy, he always chose Rock.  Bill knew him too well.

 

Driving the deserted state road was an eerie experience for Bill.  New Bern was big enough the road usually had _some_ traffic on it, even if it was just Jericho citizens going to take advantage of the better shopping.

He and Sarah had driven it many times together over the past few years.  Then, the drive was fun, winding through a little woodland.  This time, he felt like he was in the beginning of a horror movie.

“This feels like the start of a scary movie,” said Mark, almost on cue.

“It’s not,” Bill reasoned, ignoring his own unease.  “It’s just quiet.”

“Uh-huh,” agreed Mark, resting a hand on the billy stick they’d given him and the other trainees.

Bill didn’t laugh.  He was tempted to have his gun ready himself.

 

They reached the New Bern store without incident.  It, too, was deserted – they were on the edges of town and no one else was milling around.

Bill looked around to be sure no one was there, wrapped his hand in a towel, and busted in the glass door.  He’d really hoped not to have to do that, but he was determined to get the uniforms quickly and get out.  He didn’t have time to track down the store owner.

They walked in.  Bill had ordered uniforms from here for years, so he knew exactly where the Jericho sheriff’s department uniforms were kept – on a rack opposite the New Bern sheriff’s department.

“Load ‘em up,” he instructed Mark.  “All of them.”

The two men were almost through when a New Bern deputy walked in.  “What’s going on here?”

Bill flashed his badge at the other deputy.  “We’re gathering uniforms for our department.  We have a lot of new hires.”

“You’re _stealing_ police uniforms?” the deputy said.

Bill cocked his head and grinned.  “Could say we’re confiscating them in relation to a crime.  Our own, but still.”  He shook his head.  “Truth is we’re leaving money on the counter.  You can go check.”

The deputy walked past the two men to the counter, hand on his holster as if Bill and Mark were going to drop their armfuls of uniforms and shoot him. 

Bill rolled his eyes.  “Go on,” he told Mark.  “Finish taking out the shirts.  I got this guy.”

“You’re leaving _cash_ and _credit card info_?” the deputy asked, incredulous.  “You oughta know that shit ain’t good no more.”

Bill shrugged.  “It’s what we got and unless you have information we don’t, that cash is still legal tender.”

“I’m gonna have to check with the sheriff on this one.”

Bill felt a rush of panic.  Sheriff Constantino had not been the biggest fan of Sheriff Dawes – claimed he was too ‘folksy’ and not tough enough – and that trickled down to the deputies.

Bill made a rash decision.  He dropped the shirts, pulled out his own nightstick, and clocked the other deputy over the head with it.  He knocked him down, but not out – still, it gave them enough time to get the last load to the car and leave before the deputy could leave for backup.

“That was _badass_!” crowed Mark on their way home.  “The way you just went ‘CLONK’!”  He imitated Bill’s move.

“You tell _nobody_ about this,” Bill instructed.  “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It was still awesome!”

“It was irresponsible and if he’d been paying the least bit of attention, _I’d_ be the one lying on the ground instead of him.”

“You think New Bern is going to come after us?”

“Of course not,” Bill said, with more confidence than he felt.  “You think that guy’s going to tell anyone a short guy from Jericho got the drop on him?  He’s more arrogant that that; you could tell.  And we _did_ leave payment for the uniforms.”

Bill hoped what he said was true.  Last thing they needed was enmity with their closest neighbor.

~~~

 

Sarah woke to an empty bed, as per usual.

She’d hoped for something different on their anniversary, but apparently Bill was sticking to his routine.  She really shouldn’t be surprised.

Honestly, she’d be surprised if he remembered.

Sarah didn’t think they were going to do anything special – Bill was too busy at work to take time off – but she’d been racking her brain the last few days to come up with something to do for him. 

She had some ideas, but she still wasn’t sure.

 

“Happy Anniversary!” greeted Jimmy.

Bill stopped in the door.  “Shit.”

Jimmy groaned.  “Bill, don’t tell me you forgot.”

“I forgot.”

“It’s your third anniversary, man.  You shouldn’t forget _that_ quickly!”

Bill collapsed at his desk.  “I forgot because we’re so damn busy I don’t know what day it is.”

Jimmy shook his head.  “I’ll stay late so you can leave early, but you better come up with something you can do for Sarah.”

Bill looked around at the dark room.  “What?!” he asked, spreading his arms out.  “What is there to do?  I can’t take her out.  I can’t buy her a gift.  What am I supposed to do?”

Jimmy shrugged.  “Showing up early and spending time with her would probably count for a lot right now.”

He was right, Bill knew, but he didn’t want to admit it just yet.  “Hmph,” Bill grumped.

 

Sarah dug through her camping supplies.  They’d been eating out of the pantry for the last couple of weeks and canned food was starting to get really boring.

Bill encouraged her to keep stocked up on her camping supplies – food and fuel and such – even though they rarely went.  Turns out that was a good thing; they’d been using the JetBoil to heat water ever since the generator went down.

She had plenty of fuel, or so she thought.  Time to go see what Gracie would trade for a small thing of propane.

 

Bill left just before dinner time.  It amazed him that he got home while it was still light outside.  He was so cheered by the sunlight that he snuck in a neighbor’s yard and picked a few flowers on his way home.

“Sarah!”  he called once he got there.

Silence.

“Sarah?”  He peeked in all the rooms, checking to make sure she wasn’t asleep.

Well, crap.  Where was she?

 

“Hey, Jimmy!”  Sarah said, lugging a market tote into the station.

Jimmy looked up from the paperwork on his desk, confused.  “What are you doing here?  You’re off today!”

Sarah set her tote down on Bill’s desk and started unloading camping cooking gear.  “Well, since Bill’s stuck here, I thought I’d come cook him a special supper here.”

Jimmy groaned.  “Sarah, I just sent him home so you could have the evening together.”

“Oh.”  Sarah stopped unloading.  “So I guess I’m not cooking dinner here.”

“Nope.  You better go catch him!”  Jimmy shooed her away with his hands.

“Fine, I’m going!”  Sarah repacked her tote, rolling her eyes.  “Goodbye, Jimmy!”

“Goodbye!  And happy anniversary!”

 

Bill finally found Sarah walking home from downtown, lugging a heavy-looking tote.  “Happy anniversary, babe!” he said right away in hopes she wouldn’t realize he forgot.

Sarah stopped in the street and kissed him.  “You, too, hon.  You’re a hard person to find, you know that?”

“I was looking for you,” Bill explained.  He took Sarah’s tote and they walked home, hand in hand.

“What’ve you got in here?” he asked, hefting the tote.

“Stuff to cook you dinner.  I was going to make you something hot there at the station.  I didn’t dream you’d come home early.”

“Yeah, well, neither did I,” Bill admitted.  “So what were you going to make?”

They reached their front door and Sarah took the tote back before Bill could peek.  “Go change into something comfortable and you’ll find out,” she sassed.

Bill shook his head, but did as told.  He very carefully hung his uniform up, checking that all the creases were just so.  He spritzed some Febreze on it – in lieu of washing every day – and pulled on some faded jeans and a flannel shirt.  Not dressy by any means, but definitely comfortable.

He walked out of the bedroom and was hit by the most wonderful smell.  “Is that bacon?”

“It is!” Sarah replied happily.  She was sitting by the open kitchen window, letting the fumes of her gas stove waft outside.  “I traded stuff with Gracie.  Tonight we’re having breakfast: eggs and bacon and some flat iron steak.”

Bill’s mouth watered just hearing about it.  They hadn’t had fresh meat or eggs like that nearly since the bombs.  “Oh babe, you are wonderful.”

“Sometimes I can be.”  Sarah shrugged and smiled shyly.  “This a good celebration?”

Bill leaned over and kissed the top of her head.  “The best.  And to think I only stopped to pick flowers.”  He paused.  “They’re lying on the bed waiting for you.”

“You better go get them and put them in a vase,” Sarah said.  “I’d do it but I’m busy.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bill said and fetched the flowers.

“Black-Eyed Susans!  My favorites!” she said happily when he returned.

Bill looked at the flowers.  He hadn’t even thought about what the yellow-and-black flowers were called.  “Yeah.  I did that on purpose,” he lied.

Sarah looked at him like she knew better, but she smiled anyway.  “Thank you, babe.  You being home is the best gift.”

“That one’s from Jimmy.  I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him.”

“Probably many times over,” Sarah joked.  “I’ll have to figure out how to pay him back.”

“He’s not getting any of this bacon or steak,” Bill said immediately.  “That’s ours.”

Sarah laughed.  “Little bit possessive, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am.  My beautiful wife cooks me a gourmet dinner?  I’m treasuring that.”

Sarah blushed.

~~~

 

“I’m headed out,” Bill said, poking his head into the records room.  “Robert Hawkins and Eric are here taking reports and hopefully Jimmy will be back soon.”

“Mmkay,” Sarah hummed, continuing to file the stack of incidence reports she’d grabbed.  There’d been too many damn people complaining these last few weeks and if you asked her, most of it was bullshit.  Bill and Jimmy were already working too hard as it was; they didn’t need to deal with the petty crap.  “Was that Gracie causing the ruckus out there a few minutes ago?”

“Yeah…  That’s where I’m headed.”  Bill sounded upset and that got Sarah to turn around.  He _looked_ upset, too.

She frowned.  “What happened?”

Bill hemmed and hawed for a moment.  “She said Stanley stole all her pesticides,” he admitted sadly.

“ _Stanley_?!”  Sarah barked a laugh.  “That’s insane!”

“That was my first thought, too, but she said he was down there earlier wanting to buy them and they got into an argument over the price.  He stormed out and an hour later she came back and they were missing.”  He sighed.  “I’d laugh at her too, but since the bombs, people have been doing a lot of things I never thought I’d see here in Jericho.  Things they never would have before.  I just don’t know.”

Damn it, that was true.  Sarah nodded slowly and Bill turned to leave.

“Hey!” she called.

He glanced back.

“I really hope he didn’t do it.”

Bill’s shoulders slumped.  “Me, too.”

He didn’t sound convinced.

 

Sarah was out in the main room trying to help one of the new deputies figure out how to write a proper report when Bill slunk back into the station.  He didn’t say anything but there was something about his posture and the way his face was carefully schooled that told her things hadn’t gone well.

Muttering a quick apology, she excused herself and pulled Bill into the sheriff’s office for a bit of privacy.  “What happened?”

His shoulders slumped and she could feel the tension radiating off him.  “Stanley didn’t take the pesticides,” he said sadly.

His tone didn’t fit what he was saying.  “But…?” she prompted.

“But he didn’t appreciate me asking if he did.  I tried to tell him I was just doing my job but–” Bill looked up at Sarah, a flash of utter heartbreak crossing his face.  “He got mad.  If it weren’t for Mimi – that IRS woman who’s staying out there now – I think he would have hauled off and hit me.”

“Oh, babe!”  Sarah pulled him to her, wrapping him in a hug.  “It’ll blow over, I’m sure.  You guys have argued before.”

Bill huffed.  “We’ll see,” he mumbled, straightening up and schooling himself back into cop mode.  “Can’t stop to worry about it now.  There’s too much to do.”

“Bill,” Sarah implored, reaching for his hand.  “You need to slow down.  You and Jimmy both.  Take an evening to actually rest, especially after a day like this.  The new guys can hold it together for one night on their own, can’t they?”

He gave her a sad smile.  “Yeah, not sure about that.  It’ll get better soon.”

Sarah watched him leave again, frowning.  He’d been saying the same thing every night since their anniversary two weeks ago.  Since the bombs, really, and it was only getting worse.  Surely they were due for a turnaround in their fortunes soon.

 

Jimmy walked briskly back into the station.  “Mrs. Green is organizing some people to go help harvest Stanley’s corn crop.  Apparently he’s got worms and they need to be harvested tonight.”

Bill waved a hand half-heartedly.  “You go on.  Take the new guys.  I’ll hold down the fort here.”

“Really?”  Jimmy looked surprised.  “I’d’ve thought you’d want any chance to go hang out with Stanley.”

“No,” Bill said forcefully.  “I’m good.”

Sarah walked up behind Bill and put a hand on his shoulder.  “It’s okay, Jimmy.  I’ll stay here with Bill.”

“Okay,” Jimmy shrugged, confused.  He turned to the rest of the room.  “Deputies!  On your feet!  We’ve got a job for all of you.  Run home and grab some gloves, then head to the Richmond Ranch.  We’re harvesting corn tonight!”

 

Slowly, everyone trickled out of the station until it was just Bill, Sarah, and a small mixture of kerosene and solar lamps littered through the room.  Granted, Mitchell Cafferty was locked up in the back, but he was far enough away they still had privacy.

She perched on the edge of his desk.  “So.  Wanna tell me what happened out there today?”

Bill didn’t turn around, keeping his head buried in his paperwork.  “Thought I already did.”

“No, you told me a brief summary and then shut down emotions so you could work.  When Jimmy mentioned going out there to help with the harvest, you shut _him_ down.  Everyone else is gone now, so why don’t you talk to me about it?”

Bill tossed his pen down on the counter.  “I don’t really want to.”

Sarah grabbed Bill’s arm and made him face her.  “Babe, if I was pouting like you are right now, you wouldn’t leave me alone to just sulk.  Let’s try this again:  what happened with Stanley and why are you in a funk about it?”

After a look around the room to ensure they were alone, Bill sighed.  “I don’t think Stanley would want me out there tonight.  Or tomorrow.  Or any time.”

“Did you flat-out accuse him of stealing the pesticides?” Sarah asked, frowning.

“No.  I did insist on searching the barn, even after he swore to me he didn’t take them.  I had to check.  I couldn’t let the fact that he’s my friend change how I investigated this.”

“And that’s the first time Stanley’s been on that side of your badge, isn’t it?”  Sarah squeezed Bill’s hand when he nodded.  “Did you apologize?”

“Not in so many words,” Bill admitted.  “I can’t be sorry for searching his barn.  I’d do it again if I had a reason to.  That’s my _job_.  But I _am_ sorry for thinking – even for a minute – that he could have done it.”

“Maybe give him a couple days and then go tell _him_ that?”

Bill arched an eyebrow.  “When?  I don’t have time to go out to his farm unless I’m following up on a report and if I ever get out of here, all I want to do is go home and fall in bed.”

“Don’t I know it,” Sarah muttered, looking away.  “Look, maybe he’ll come into town and you can catch him.  Or _I_ can try to catch him.  Go out and visit tomorrow or the next day.”

“No!” Bill protested.  “I can talk to him myself.  I just don’t know when.”

She gave him a skeptical look.  “If I leave it up to you, it’ll be Christmas before you get out there with the workload you’ve had.”  She decided to go for broke, even if it wasn’t exactly the best time.  “Babe, you need to take a day off.  Or more.  You’ve worked every day since the bombs – even our _anniversary_.  Talk to Jimmy.  These new guys can just about handle it for a day or so.  Take a day.  Sleep in and we’ll go talk to Stanley in the afternoon and then you can go to bed early for once.”

Bill stiffened and Sarah was sure she’d pushed too far.  “Maybe in another couple of weeks,” he said, turning back to his paperwork.

“Okay,” Sarah relented.  She’d lost that argument.  She’d just have to try again later.  For now, though, if she helped him get stuff filed, he could leave as soon as the night deputy showed up.

 

“We got it all harvested.”

Sarah looked up at Jimmy and smiled.  “Fantastic!  So Stanley’s set on corn for the season?  And no more weevils or whatever the hell they were?”

“Looks like.”  Jimmy leaned against the counter, sweaty and dusty, and looked over at Bill.  “Was it quiet here?”

Bill wandered over to join them.  “Only a couple people came in.”  He leafed through some papers and handed them to Jimmy.  “Stuff to follow up on tomorrow.  Nothing too exciting.”

“Great,” Jimmy said, looking at the reports.  “This’ll be good to send the new guys out on.”

Sarah watched the men talk and an idea occurred to her.  “Hey, Jimmy?  You headed home?  I wanted to check in with Margaret.  Mind if I tag along?” she asked, trying to sound cheerful.

“Yeah, sure.”  Jimmy looked at Bill, who shrugged.

“Keith’ll be here in thirty minutes, or he’s supposed to be, and then I’ll be getting out of here.  You guys go on.”  Bill waved them out the door.

Sarah fell in step with Jimmy and waited until they were a couple blocks from the station before bringing up the topic she really wanted to discuss.  “So how’re the trainees _really_ doing?”

Jimmy looked down at her.  “They’re catching on.  Some are too eager, but they don’t need both of us hovering over their shoulders all the time anymore.”

“Good.”  Sarah nodded, thinking for a moment.  “So if I wanted to call in a favor from you – and Margaret too, really – this might be an okay time to do it, then?”

“Maybe?”  Jimmy didn’t sound sure.

Sarah frowned, trying to figure out how to word her request.  “You guys are both overworked right now, I know.  I’m just worried about Bill.  You know he’s got a tendency to push himself too hard and I think he’s almost at the breaking point – he’s still on painkillers for his ribs and then this thing with Stanley today…”  Sarah sighed and gestured at Jimmy.  “He’ll listen to you, though.  Is there a way he can – with some encouragement – take a day off soon?  Or be sent home earlier?  Of course we’ll reciprocate for you, too.  I’m sure Margaret and the kids want you home more.”

Jimmy shrugged, smiling at the mention of his family.  “We can probably swing it.  If things go well tomorrow, I’ll make Bill stay home Saturday.  We’ll see after that.”

Sarah reached out and hugged Jimmy as they walked.  “You’re amazing, Jimmy Taylor.  Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

~~~

 

The meal was still hot when Sarah got it down to the station – a pot roast she’d thrown together and cooked on camping gear – but Bill barely stopped to eat it.  From what she could see, thing were going smoothly if busily.  Jimmy even gave her a surreptitious thumbs up, but Bill kept scurrying around, taking reports the trainees could have easily handled and trying to double check everything they touched.

Bill left on a call after scarfing down most of his food and Sarah sat for a few minutes at his desk, just thinking.  This wasn’t particularly a surprise: Bill responded to stress by trying to take on more responsibility.  It wasn’t quite a control issue, just… feeling the need to be everything to everyone.  So he’d throw himself into work and keeping the house and cars running and he’d be extra conscientious about doing things for her.

She was starting to worry he might _actually_ work himself to death this time.  Usually he unwound when he had a day off – let her take him hiking, went out in the garage and fixed something, or at least hit things with a hammer – but he hadn’t been able to do that for nearly a month.  A month that he’d been fighting constant pain in his ribs, too.

“So do you think tomorrow will work out?” she asked Jimmy during a brief lull, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah,” he responded.  “I’m gonna talk to him the next time we’re both in the station.  He’s not going to like me telling him to stay home, but you’re right.  He needs the break.”

Sarah felt a quick pang of guilt.  “So do you.  You need time off, too.”

Jimmy tried to wave it off.  “You know how Margaret gets when I’m home too much.  She’s probably glad to have me busy here instead of sitting around,” he joked, but Sarah knew better.

She gave him a half-hearted smile.  “Well, maybe you can stay and bug her later this week.  If there’s anything _I_ can be doing, let me know.  I still don’t know why Bill doesn’t want me here every day helping out.”

Jimmy shrugged.  “He knows how much the job sucks right now and doesn’t want you tied to it?”

“As long as he’s here instead of home, I’m tied to it anyway.”  Sarah frowned and pushed back from the desk.  “I’m going back to file for a bit.  Call if you need me up here.”

 

To her surprise, Bill wasn’t livid when he came home that night.  Instead, he grabbed Sarah and kissed her, whispering, “I know you organized that.  You’re crazy and it’s your fault if everything falls apart tomorrow without me, but thank you.”

She laughed, kissed him again, and handed him the soup she’d tried to keep warm for him.  “Eat and then you’re not allowed out of our bed until you’ve had your full eight hours.”

He moaned at the thought.  “I don’t think I can even count that high anymore.”

“We’ll work on refreshing your memory, then.  Spend extra time in bed to help you remember what it feels like.”  She grinned at him wickedly.

“Oh, Sarah, that’s not going to teach me a _thing_ about sleeping.”  Bill reached out for her to join him at the table.  “And it’s going to have to wait for tomorrow because I’m about to faceplant into this bowl.”

~~~

 

It did wait for the morning.

Bill woke up before dawn, as usual, but this time Sarah reached out and held him to the mattress.  “Nope.  Day off.  You’re staying here with me.  No getting outta bed.  Gotta relearn sleeping.”

He rolled over and pinned her.  “But I’m awake now.  Remind me how I make myself sleepy again?”

Sarah smiled up at him, only half awake herself.  “Well, usually you have to do something to exert some energy.  Your options for that are limited, since I’m not letting you out of bed.”

“Ah.”  Bill leaned down and kissed her neck.  “I think I have some ideas there.”

 

It was midmorning before Sarah decided Bill had gotten his full eight hours of sleep and let him get up.  She heated water for baths in the fireplace and watched him poke around the house in pajamas.  How long had it been since he’d done that?

She had to break the charm, though.  “I need you to know we’re going out this afternoon, Bill.”

“Out?” Bill pouted.  “You mean we’re not staying in pajamas all day and practicing that sleeping thing?  I think I really need to run through it a few more times to get the hang of it.”

She kissed the top of his head.  “Oh, we’ll do a fair amount of napping today, I think.  But I’m dragging us out for a couple hours.  It’ll be good for us both!”  Sarah tried to give her voice an upward inflection that told Bill she was watching out for her own mood, too.

He reached out and grabbed her hand.  “Do I need to be worried about what you have planned?  You’re already devious enough to get Jimmy to force me to take the day off.”

“In my defense, I asked you about it first.  You _have_ told me I need to be more persistent in going after what I want.”

Bill chuckled.  “Okay, true.  Can’t fault you for learning.” 

 

Sarah had hot chocolate waiting for Bill when he finished his hot sponge bath – the best luxury they could manage these days.  He stopped in the door, wary.  “Okay, so I’m not going to like what you have planned if you’re plying me with hot chocolate.”

Sarah didn’t say anything for a minute, soaking in the warmth of her own drink.  “You’re right.  I don’t think you’ll want to go, but you need to.  I want to go out to see Stanley.”  She held up a hand to forestall Bill’s protests.  “You _know_ you need to talk to him.  You’ve both had a day to calm down, his crop was saved, and now you’ve had a full night’s sleep.  It’s the best time for this.”

Bill grunted at her, but didn’t offer any argument. 

Sarah grinned, knowing she’d won this one: he might not be happy, but he’d go with her.

 

Bonnie was out on the porch when they walked up.  She waved and ran to hug Bill, which seemed to brighten his mood immensely.  He signed that he needed to talk to Stanley.  Bonnie nodded and ran off down to the barn.

“I’ll talk to Bonnie while you go talk to Stanley, okay?” Sarah said, with a hand on Bill’s back.

“Assuming he doesn’t come out with the shotgun and run me off the property,” Bill muttered.

Sarah gave him a shove.  “I have just about had it up to here with you being like this.  _I’m_ supposed to be the moody depressive one.  Stop it.”

Bill shot Sarah a look and kept staring at the ground.

 

Thankfully, Stanley didn’t come out shooting.  He _did_ come out glaring, thought, and Sarah had to push Bill towards him like a petulant grade schooler.  They walked off to the side of the house, hands in pockets, and Sarah shrugged at Bonnie.

“Either they will work this out,” she said, signing haltingly, “or one of them will kill the other.  I’d say even money right now.”

“Stanley couldn’t fight a scarecrow.  Bill will win,” Bonnie joked.  She gestured for Sarah to follow her inside.

Right as they settled in, Mimi wandered downstairs.  Sarah hadn’t really gotten to talk to her except in passing, so she sat up straighter and said hello.  Mimi was something of a curiosity in town – the IRS official doing an audit of the farm she was now lodging at.  Sarah would be lying if she said she wasn’t curious herself.

“Hi!  I don’t know if you remember meeting before.  I’m Sarah Koehler.  My husband is Bill, one of the deputies.”

“Not the deputy who came by the other day?” Mimi asked.

Sarah nodded sadly.  “That’s the one.  We came by so he could talk to Stanley.”

“Bill’s a good guy,” Bonnie told Mimi. 

“Sure.  Small town cops,” Mimi muttered sarcastically.

Sarah tried not to take offense.  “I know this is a lot smaller than you’re used to, but I moved here from somewhere much bigger and haven’t been disappointed with the people _or_ the town.”  Nah, she wasn’t getting defensive.

Mimi snorted.  “I’ve yet to see any of that.”

“It’ll grow on it, if you let it.  Jericho’s a pretty great place.”

Mimi looked like she was about to say something, but right then Stanley slammed the door open and stormed up the stairs.

“Shit,” Sarah whispered. 

Bill was standing in the doorway, fuming.  “Why can’t he get I was just doing my job?” he bit out desperately.

“Aw, hell.”  Sarah pointed a finger at Bill.  “You stay right here.  I’m gonna go talk to him.”  She followed Stanley upstairs, leaving Bill with Mimi and Bonnie.

 

“What’d you do now, Bill?” Bonnie asked. 

Bill tried to calm himself down: he hated being mad around Bonnie.  That sent his mood south, though.

“Just… messing everything up, apparently.”

Bonnie shook her head.  “Stanley is a stupidhead,” she said, though she used a much ruder sign.  Bill wondered if she knew the rest of them knew how to curse in sign language, too.

Bill sighed, and decided to sign what he was going to say.  He didn’t know Mimi well enough.  He wouldn’t usually open up to Bonnie, but maybe she’d have some influence on her brother.

_Honestly, I am scared, Bonnie.  I don’t know what is going on out there.  I don’t know if my sister is okay.  Sarah’s family either._

_But what I do know is pretty crappy.  I know my boss and all my coworkers except for Jimmy were killed.  I know I almost died.  I know you were held hostage while I couldn’t do anything.  I know crime has gone up and people I never thought would break the law have done bad things.  I know I’m tired and away from home too much and Sarah’s probably not doing as well as she’s pretending.  And I know that because I was trying not to play favorites, I just lost my best friend in the whole damn world._

Bonnie surged forward and hugged Bill.  “Stanley is a stupidhead,” she repeated, glancing over Bill’s shoulder up the stairs.

“I object to ‘stupidhead’.  You can come up with better than that.”

Bill turned around and saw Stanley walk the rest of the way down the stairs.

“You’re still an asshole,” Stanley said, sticking out a hand, “but we’re still friends as long as you can keep from accusing me of stealing the Lindbergh baby or some crap.”

“Well, now that you mention it, that case _is_ still open,” Bill said, taking the proffered hand.  “Did Sarah slap you around, too?”

“Helps that I don’t yell as much,” Sarah pointed out, emerging from upstairs.

Bill squeezed Stanley’s hand.  “I’m sorry I doubted you, man.  I’m sorry I had to search your barn.  It wasn’t personal.”

“I got that.  Just… try not to do it again, ‘kay?”  Stanley smiled.  “You guys staying for dinner?”

Bill and Sarah looked at each other.  “I think we had plans at home,” Sarah said cautiously.

Stanley laughed.  “Go, then.  I see how it is.”

 

Sarah slipped her hand in Bill’s as they walked home.  “Are you still mad at me for making you do this?”

“No, you were right,” Bill admitted.  “I didn’t want to do that, but I needed to.”

“See?  I’m pretty smart sometimes,” Sarah said proudly.

He pulled her close and nuzzled her hair.  “So tell me the truth.  You know how I’ve been doing the past few weeks, but how are _you_ holding up?  I haven’t checked on you like I should.”

“You’re busy,” she shrugged.  “And I’m…  I’m hanging in there.  I’ve still got two days’ worth of medicine left, so I’ve got until it runs through my system.  And I’m hoping I won’t have withdrawals too bad from the antidepressants.  It helps to be down at the station with you some, but…  I still miss you.  I’m ready for you to be on a regular schedule again.”

“Soon,” Bill promised.  “The new guys will be ready to go soon and then I’ll be home every evening like I’m supposed to.”

“Holding you to that, you hear?”  Sarah squeezed Bill close.


	4. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 7-9: The medicine's run out, the hours are long, and the stakes are rising.

**October 22 nd – November 4th**

Bill looked unhappily at his pill container, shaking it as if it might somehow refill itself.

He sadly threw it away.

He was on his own again.

Sarah had run out the week before and was dealing with withdrawal symptoms – deep pain in her back and feeling like she had the flu.  It killed Bill that there wasn’t anything he could do to help her through it.

Hopefully he wouldn’t go through the same.

 

“Hey babe,” Bill whispered, leaning across the bed to where Sarah lay curled up in pain.  “You think you can get up today?  Just try it?”

Sarah sighed.  “I can try,” she said, voice trembling.  She took a deep breath and stabilized herself.  “I’ll try to come down to the station.”

Bill kissed her forehead.  “Thanks, darlin’.”

He headed off to work worried and not at all convinced Sarah would make it out of bed that morning.  Or that day.  There was just nothing he could do for her and it distracted him every moment of the day.

Of course, he’d never tell _her_ that.  That would just make her feel guilty, then he’d worry more, and they’d both be caught in a downward spiral.

That would do nobody any good.

 

Sarah rolled over, achy and sore.  She’d been in bed long enough she could tell it was afternoon and had reached that wall – she couldn’t stand being in bed any longer.

Slowly, she got up and got dressed.  She didn’t bother trying to shower – her hair looked as bad as anybody’s in Jericho did lately.  No one was used to cold sponge baths yet – or hot if you wanted to waste firewood on that sort of thing.

At least Bill had gotten addicted to those prepper shows in the last couple years and had started hoarding food and firewood.  Their backyard had a stack of wood taller than she was.  Now that they’d given up on the federal government saving them, it would come in handy.

Sarah meandered downtown, heading for Town Hall.  She’d slept through most of Bill’s shift, but he never came home on time anyway – there was always one more thing to do at the station.

She couldn’t blame him.  She didn’t want to spend time with her either, right now.

 

“Sarah!”  Jimmy greeted her happily when she wandered into the station.  He knew she was going through withdrawals, though the trainee deputies didn’t.  Jimmy came over and wrapped her in a hug.  “Bill’s out on a call, but you can wait in the office or go file some paperwork.  Both’ll be pretty quiet.”

Oh, Jimmy.  Sarah just about cried.  He knew she was easily overwhelmed right now.  “I’ll file.  I might not get much done, but I’ll try.”

 

Sarah made it through thirty minutes of filing before the pain in her back became strong enough to bring tears.  She had to get out of there.

She waved at Jimmy as she left, knowing that he’d tell Bill she at least showed up and tried.  Failed to get much done, but tried.  Maybe that would be good enough.

 

Bill found her back in bed when he came home after dark.  He knew she’d made it to the station and missed him, but it still hurt to see her stay in bed most of the day.

He didn’t know what he could do.  He _couldn’t_ stay home with her and dragging her to the station all day when she was in pain seemed cruel.

Bill crawled in bed behind Sarah and spooned up against her.  He held her tight as she started to cry.

“I’m no good,” she choked out between tears.  “I couldn’t even do more than half an hour of work.  I’m not helping.”

Bill kissed her neck.  “You did what you could.  I appreciate that.  It was good enough for today.”

“No, it wasn’t.  You’re just being nice.”

Bill sat up a little so that Sarah rolled on her back.  Wiping her tears away, he said, “Remember, you listen to me, not your brain.  You brain is a filthy liar.  I’ll only tell you the truth.  Okay?”

More tears came, but she nodded.

“Good.  Then believe me that you were good enough today because you tried.  And because I love you.”

Sarah nodded and Bill wrapped his arms around her once again.

~~~

 

Bill was about ready to shoot Mitchell Cafferty himself and try to make it look like an accident.  They’d had him in custody for days now and he’d done nothing but threaten everyone about Jonah coming to get him.  Bill was beginning to doubt Jonah would ever come.

Jimmy and the other deputies were out on calls and Bill was doing paperwork when someone walked into the station.

“Can I help… you?”

Well, Bill was wrong.  Jonah _had_ come.

Thankfully, Jake walked in behind Jonah and started talking to him about bail for Mitchell.  Bill sat and watched – while pretending not to.  He perked up when Jake finalized a deal with Jonah, though.

Jonah staying out of town?  He’d believe it when he saw it.  Right now, though, it was their best chance.  They needed the food Jonah took. 

If only Bill felt as sure as Jake did about the deal.

 

Gray Anderson stumbled into the station.  “Jimmy.  Bill,” he croaked, before collapsing in a desk chair.

Bill looked up, shocked.  He’d resigned himself to never seeing Gray again.  “Are you okay?” he asked, jumping up.

“When did you get here?” Jimmy asked.

“Just now.  I hitched a ride as far as Rogue River and walked the rest of the way.”

“Jesus,” Bill swore.  “Let me get you some water.”

More people followed Gray in, curious about the news he brought.

None of it was good.  Washington gone.  Lawrence gone.  The government gone.  Road gangs running wild.  Danger of the sort Bill had nightmares about since that first night he’d been kidnapped.

Jesus.  How was Jericho going to survive all that?

New York making it was good news, but the survival story – a twenty kiloton bomb – terrified Bill.  What if there were more out there?

 

Sarah stumbled into the station that afternoon, completely unaware of the hubbub that had occurred earlier.  She looked around at the confusion and thought maybe it was the wrong day to have dragged herself down there.

Bill saw her and rushed to her side, escorting her to his desk as if she were fragile.  Sarah knew he was worrying too much about her, but she didn’t want to say something in public and embarrass him. 

The withdrawals had finally faded away, leaving her weak but otherwise hearty – but depressed.  Getting down to the station at all was a colossal feat.  Bill wanted her there, though, so she made the effort most days.

“What happened?” she asked, looking at all the civilians in the station.

“Gray Anderson came back.  With lots of bad news,” Bill explained.  He gave her a quick rundown of Gray’s report.

“Jeez,” Sarah said, unsure of what else _could_ be said.  “That… sucks.”

Bill gave a small laugh.  “Yeah it does.”

“Where is he now?”

“We sent him home with some of the newbies as an escort.  Poor guy looked like he needed a twenty hour nap.”

“I know how he feels,” joked Sarah sadly.  She pulled herself up.  “But show me to the filing while I’m still awake.  Let me be actually useful for once.”

Bill squeezed her shoulder encouragingly.  “Got a stack for you over here.  I’m glad you made it in today.”

“Yeah, well, I can only isolate myself at home so long, right?”

Bill frowned and Sarah knew he didn’t appreciate her sad sense of humor now.

“Okay, so.  Filing.  Show me,” she demanded, changing the subject back.

~~~

 

“Are you out of your mind?  You made a _deal_ with Jonah Prowse?” Gray asked, bewildered.

Jimmy and Bill stood by as Gray talked with Jake and Eric – the five of them the power in town right now, with the Mayor out sick.

How strange it was to have gone from being an unambitious deputy to one of the top law enforcement officers in the town in just over a month?  And standing there with Jake Green, of all people, discussing the town’s fate with Gray Anderson and Eric Green – two people who’d wanted power, but never had it.

Jake argued for his deal, insisting it would keep the town safe.

Gray wasn’t having any of it.  “You can’t _make_ deals with guys like that!”

Bill listened closely to Gray’s words as he described the things Jonah had done.  Bill knew about them, of course – Jonah had a pretty big file in the station – but it was refreshing to hear someone else who knew how dangerous Jonah could be. 

Most of all, someone who was willing to stand up to him.

“I’ve seen what happens when people lose their hold on law and order.  You start striking bargains with the bad guys, it’s the beginning of the end,” Gray argued.

It took everything in Bill not to pump his fist and yell “Hell, yeah!”

He glanced over at Jimmy, looking for agreement, but Jimmy only looked slightly horrified.

Bill never thought they would disagree on something like this.

 

Sarah was waiting for him in the records room, filing, when he came back from the meeting with Gray. 

Bill took a moment and sat in the floor with her, leaning tiredly against the back wall and rubbing his sides where his ribs still ached.  He’d run out of pain medication a couple weeks back and had gone back to wearing the compression wraps.  It was the only thing that let him get through the day, no matter that it went against Dr. Green’s orders.

He sighed.  “So it looks like Gray’s now giving orders.”

Sarah stopped and looked at him.  “Is that a good thing?”

“I think so,” Bill admitted.  “And so does Eric.”

“And Jimmy and Jake?”

“Not so much.”  Bill picked up some paperwork and started helping her sort.  “You know the deal Jake made with Jonah Prowse I told you about?”

“Food for the guy in the back, right?” Sarah asked.

“That’s it.  Gray called it off.  Said we can’t make deals with Jonah and if we roll over and work with him now, he’ll take advantage of us later.”

“Wait.”  Sarah stopped and turned to Bill.  “We’re breaking a deal and you think it’s a good thing?”

“Gray’s right.  People like Jonah have no honor.  He won’t stick to his part, anyway.  We’re just giving him a person back for free.”

“For a whole bunch of food!” Sarah protested.  “Bill, are you sure about this, hon?”

“I’m sure.  We already sent Jake out to tell Jonah the deal’s off.”

Sarah hummed.  “I hope we don’t get any fallout from this.”

“We’ll be fine,” Bill reassured.  “Promise you.”

 

Bill and Jimmy didn’t even have to discuss who went where that night – of course Jimmy needed to be the one handing candy out to the kids for Halloween.  Bill liked kids well enough, but Jimmy loved them.

Plus the quiet time was nice.  Sarah brought him some hot coffee from Bailey’s and then went out to wander the fair the town had set up.

Bill sipped his coffee and looked over the new guys’ paperwork, turning away anyone who walked in.

“No candy in here, guys,” he said to two men.

Next thing he knew, there was a shotgun in his face.  Again.

Well, fuck.

 

Sarah and Margaret stood behind Jimmy, catching up for once – with the schools closed, Margaret was stuck all day with both children and was desperate for adult conversation.

“I should come over more, I know,” Sarah admitted.  “If I were real nice, I’d babysit for you, but I’m not sure I’m up to it right now.”

“Well, just come over,” Margaret insisted.  “Let the kids crawl on you instead of me.  Maybe play a game of Boggle or two.”

Sarah laughed.  “You guys and Boggle.”

“Hey!  It’s a good word game for the kids.”

Sarah held her arms up in mock surrender.  “I’m not arguing that.  I just think it’s funny, that’s all.”

In the middle of Margaret’s reply, they noticed a commotion over by Town Hall and Sarah saw Gray Anderson running out of the building with a shotgun.

“What the hell?” she whispered to Margaret.

“I dunno,” said Margaret, “but it ought to be checked out.”

She turned to Jimmy, but Sarah was already headed inside.  Bill was in there alone.  She _had_ to check on him.

Sarah rushed into the station.  It was oddly empty.  “Bill?” she called.

“Back here!”

Sarah looked down the hall, confused.  Bill was inside one of the station’s cell, gripping the bars.  “Bill!  What in the world happened?  Why are you in there?”

“Jonah’s men busted Mitchell out.”  He pointed through the cell’s bars, sighing in exasperation.  “Will ya let me out, please?  They dropped the keys on the bench.”

Sarah rushed to comply, fumbling with the keys at the lock.  “Shouldn’t have left you here by yourself.  I should have stayed.”

“And what?  Gotten yourself locked up, too?  Gray was in one of the back rooms, so I wasn’t alone.”  Bill took the keys back from Sarah and clipped them to his belt again.  “It’s fine.”

“Fat lot of good Gray did you,” Sarah frowned.  “What’d they do?  Hold you at gunpoint to get you in there?  _That_ is most definitely not okay.”

Bill started to argue, but Sarah cut him off.  “I don’t care what you’re about to say.  I’m sticking around here until your shift’s over.  I’m tired of all this crap happening to you.”

“We’ve got no one in the cells,” Bill pointed out.  “There’s no one left to break out.”

“Not _anymore_.”

“Sarah…”

Jimmy came rushing in.  “Bill!  You okay!”

They repeated the whole conversation, with Jimmy taking Sarah’s side and agreeing that she should absolutely stay with Bill until his shift ended in a couple hours.

Bill came close to throwing up his hands in frustration.  He couldn’t stand up against his partner _and_ his wife.

“Why do I put up with you two?” he muttered once Jimmy went back outside.

“I dunno.  Jimmy kinda came as a package deal with you.  I assume you put up with me because you love me.”

“Are you _really_ gonna sit in here with me?”

“Somebody has to babysit you.”  Sarah perched on his desk and grinned.  “You can’t keep out of trouble lately, it seems.”

Bill rolled his eyes.  “I told you: I am _fine_.”

“Well, I _know_ that,” Sarah leered, making a show of checking out Bill’s rear.  “Seriously, have I told you lately how much I love those pants?”

 

Sarah held Bill’s hand tight as they walked home that night, leaving behind Halloween decorations all over the square.  Just as with the grill party, Sarah trusted Gail Green to handle the clean-up. 

“You know you really worried me back there,” she told Bill suddenly, once they reached home.  “I joked, but the thought of you with a gun in your face again…”

“Well, it was more towards my chest and then in my back,” Bill clarified.

Not what Sarah needed.  She reached up and ran fingers through his hair, pulling him down to her level.  “You scared me again,” she whispered.  “You keep promising not to, but then you go off and it happens again.”

She kissed him gently, following with a hug, resting her chin on his shoulder.  “You’ve got to stop doing this,” she implored.

“I don’t mean to,” Bill said, kissing the top of her head.

“What would I do without you?” Sarah asked.  She pulled back and stared Bill in the eyes.  It was too dark to make out their caramel color, but she knew it well enough to be lost in them anyway.

He leaned in for another kiss, this one more forceful.  “I won’t leave you,” he said breathlessly.

Sarah ran a hand down his back and he tensed, moaning just a bit.  She forwent words and lifted his shirt, kissing his stomach and chest as she did so.  She pushed him lightly toward the bedroom.

“Gonna make sure you’re still all here,” she whispered, following him to bed.  “And I’m never letting you go into trouble alone again.”

Bill shuddered as she forced him to sit on the bed and undress.  “Yes, ma’am,” he said excitedly.

Sarah smiled and took off her own shirt.  “Well, then.  Prove to me you’re still alive.”  She held out her hands and Bill pulled her close.

It was a long night, but Bill satisfied Sarah’s question.

~~~

 

Bill left for the station early that next morning, a little reluctantly.  The station was already busy after last night’s jailbreak and Bill found Gray waiting for him with the laminated map of town.

“Oh, hey, Bill.  I wanted to talk to you.”

Bill hummed in answer, wrapping his hands around the coffee he’d gotten from the one maker Town Hall had hooked up to the generator.  “What’s up?”

Gray leaned against Bill’s desk.  “I was hoping you could update me on what all has happened here in town since I left.  What’s new, _who’s_ new: that sort of thing.”

“Can do,” Bill said, nodding.  “Where do you want to start?”

“There’s _how_ many new people in town?”

Bill tapped his finger on the map.  “Fifty-three in total.  Eight new families since you left, though.  Some are family members of our people, some are refugee.”

Gray nodded.  “Do we have a list of their locations?  Can everybody be vouched for?”

“Most of them, I think.  The family members, for sure.  There’s only a few who’ve raised red flags.”

“What sort of red flags?”

“Well…”  Bill tried to summarize what he’d heard: who moved to town suddenly, whose stories didn’t _quite_ add up, who had acted oddly since they came to town.  Even as he talked, he could hear Sarah in the back of his mind pointing out that many of these things had perfectly reasonable explanations, but in his line of work, it was the inconsistencies he had to watch out for.

Gray listened closely, noting where Bill pointed to on the map to show where the newcomers were living.  “I think we need to check on this,” he mused.  “So many strangers.  Even the family and friends we should double check.  Why are they here?”

That gave Bill pause, but only for a moment.  Gray was right: there were people they didn’t know and with the way the world was, Jericho couldn’t afford to throw out the welcome mat.  “What do you think we should do?”

“I think we should all be checking up on them here in the next few days.  Make sure we know who we’re dealing with.”

Bill nodded, glancing up when Eric walked in.  Gray followed him into the Sheriff’s office, already bringing him in on the conversation.

It didn’t take long to bring Eric up to speed.  “Bill,” Gray called when he came back out.

Bill perked up and turned to Gray.  “What’s the plan?”

“I’m going to tag along with you or Jimmy to start meeting these new people.  We’ll just go and ask some questions.”

“Just questions?”

Gray shrugged.  “As long as there isn’t any reason to look further.”

 

Bill spent the rest of the day visiting three families with Gray.  They all had family members in Jericho, so it was straightforward, but Gray was thorough.

Bill appreciated it.  He liked the new Gray Anderson who’d come back from Topeka.

Sarah, on the other hand, did not.

When she found out how he’d spent the day, she immediately went stiff.  “Bill.  You didn’t.”

“Of course we did,” Bill said lightly.  “We just had convers–”

“No,” Sarah interrupted, scooting away from Bill on the bed.  “That’s an interrogation, not a conversion.  And sure, Gray could argue he was making friendly visits, but you were there in your _uniform_ , Bill.  On duty!  That brings it dangerously close to breaching constitutionality.”

“Oh that is not even close to the truth!” Bill shot back.

“So, what?” Sarah boggled.  “You just had ‘chats’.  On whose authority?  And you went as a _cop_?  Bill, if you went in civvies, that’d be one thing, but being in your uniform could make it a civil liberties issue!”

Bill frowned, glaring.  “The mayor’s out sick.  Eric is acting as his proxy and he agreed with the plan.  It’s something logical to keep the town safe!”

“It’s infuriating, is what it is!  God, Bill, did you even _think_?!”

Bill stood and grabbed her arms, holding them at her side.  “Of course I did!  I am just trying to do my God damned job, Sarah.  _Yes_ , I’m supposed to keep the peace and enforce the laws, but I’m also supposed to protect Jericho – and that’s what I’m trying to do.  Gray’s right!  We don’t know all of what’s out there or who we may have already let in.  And I, for one, think we need to be a little proactive about this!”

“You can’t just interrogate people without suspicion – and being new isn’t enough reason for suspicion!” Sarah cried, walking away from Bill.  “My God, how many lectures on this shit have you had to sit through every year at the Academy?  I thought civil liberties would be pounded into your skull by now!”

“The lines are a little fuzzier on that now!  I think you would agree there are lines that have to be crossed in the situation we’re in now!”

“Oh, no, you did _not_ just go there, Bill Koehler!”  Sarah rounded on him.  “That is complete bullshit!  Those laws are written _specifically_ to prevent situations like this and you damn well know it.”

“Well, maybe you’d see things differently if you’d been through the shit I have,” Bill fumed.  “How many of those damn fugitives are still out there?  Did any of them pose as refugees?  What if the men who killed Sheriff Dawes are living here in town?  Are we supporting them?  What if they’ve fallen in with Jonah’s gang?  They could have been the men who came into the station last night and pointed a shotgun at me!  I’ve got to go out there and risk running into people like that every damn day, while you all stay here safe!  So yes, I think I will ignore some of the laws if it means you have to risk nothing more than a fucking paper cut!”

Sarah just stared at Bill, clenching her fists and forcing herself to take deep breaths.  “I hope you aren’t trying to insinuate that I haven’t had a crappy time too just because I’m not out there getting the shit beat out of me,” she said quietly but firmly.  “Because it certainly hasn’t been a fucking picnic for me.  But it doesn’t matter what’s happened to you; you’re still supposed to uphold the law.  If you start crossing lines for good reasons, you’ll eventually cross them for bad ones – you know that’s true.  You know that’s how it starts.”

Bill’s eyes flashed in anger; Sarah was hitting home.  “I am doing my job,” he bit out.

“I need a walk,” Sarah said angrily and turned to storm out of the house.

 

Sarah sat on the porch for a long while when she came back, watching the day slip into night.  It was really too chilly to be out here, but it was quiet and calm and didn’t involve any yelling.

Bill came out and joined her once it was fully dark, silently handing her a mug of hot tea and sitting in the second rocking chair.  “I’m sorry,” he said after a moment.

She looked at him skeptically.  “Did you use some of our stove fuel _just_ to placate me with tea?”

He tensed.  “Y…yes?  I thought it would make you happy,” he explained, bracing for her response.

Sarah let him stew for a second before leaning back in her rocker.  “You were right.  Thank you.”  She smiled and wrapped her hands around the mug.  “I’m still not happy about what happened, but I’m not worked up any more.”

“Well, there’s that, at least.”  Bill reached out and patted her arm.  “You wanna start?”

She needed, taking a deep breath.  “This just caught me by surprise I think.  All I can see is everything _wrong_ about that.  Gray’s not elected, your presence as a deputy makes it a tricky legal situation, not to mention it’s just downright _rude_ to ask all those questions without any real reason.  It makes me upset that I wasn’t there to stop you.”

Sarah paused there, sipping her tea. 

Bill nudged her, prompting, “But?”

“But…,” she continued, inwardly smiling at how well he knew her habits.  “But I got some of it, once I thought about it.  You’re right.  We _do_ need to know who’s in Jericho.  The mayor is out of play, so you needed someone with authority.  Gray has that.  It makes logical sense, even if it feels all wrong.  Am I right on all that?”

Bill nodded.  “Grey also spearheaded the thing, which is why he came along.  Whatever he saw out on the road really shook him and he’s serious about keeping Jericho secure.  And you and I are always going to disagree about some of the legal interpretations.  I don’t think we overstepped any boundaries in the current circumstances.”

Sarah frowned, but held back her instinct to debate the point.  “I know you don’t.  And you know I disagree, but you _are_ the one out there doing the job.  You’ve got to make the calls.”

She reached out and took Bill’s hand, officially ending the argument.

~~~

 

“Sarah!”

Sarah came running down the hall, still in pajamas, when he called her name and slammed the door.

“What’re you doing here?” she asked, holding back a yawn.  “It’s the middle of the day.”

Bill gave a hurried explanation.  “There’s a paramilitary group called Ravenwood and they’re on their way here.  Jake and Eric ran into them in Rogue River, said they’ve gone rogue and massacred an entire hospital and some of the city.”

Sarah listened wide-eyed and looking fully awake now.  “Well, shit.  What are you doing?”

“There’s a plan to stop them at the Tacoma Bridge.  Defend it if we can, blow it if we have to.”  Bill shrugged.  “Not too much we can do on short notice, but I’m out gathering ammo.  What of ours are you willing to spare?”

Sarah followed him towards the garage gun safe.  “Who’s ‘we’?”

“Right now, anyone who’s willing to go who can shoot.”

“Okay,” Sarah said matter-of-factly.  “So I’ll head out too.”

“No! Don’t go!” Bill insisted.  “It’ll be dangerous.  It could be a firefight.”

Sarah spun around.  “And you said people who can shoot and are willing.  I’m both of those.  It’s not like there’s a bunch of people in town with combat training.  I’m as good as anyone right now.”

“And Ravenwood killed men, women, and cops in Rogue River.  They’re _better_ than anyone right now.  Are you really up to it?”  Bill wanted nothing more than to lock Sarah in the house right now.  Surely she would admit she couldn’t do this.  Wouldn’t do this, because he’d asked.

Sarah rolled her eyes.  “Bill.  I’m depressed, not incapable.”

Bill opened the gun safe and turned back to Sarah.  “I can’t argue with you over this now.  I don’t have time.  If you insist on going out there, pick out some ammo we can spare and bring it to Town Hall before you go.  I’ve got to keep going.”

He grabbed one box of shells and stormed back out, leaving Sarah standing in front of the open safe.  Why couldn’t he convince her that he needed her to stay home and be safe so he could do his job?

 

Tensions were high across town.  Most of the people Sarah ran across had only half a clue what was happening and seemed to expect her to know something.  Downside of being a deputy’s wife in a small town: people expected her to have an actual clue.

Sarah dropped off the ammunition with Eric at the sheriff’s station and heard there’d already been one run-in with Ravenwood.  They had two hours left before the mercenaries returned, assuming they kept their word.  Somehow, Sarah wasn’t too inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt.

She hitched a ride out to the bridge with some other and was impressed with all that had been pulled together – junked cars formed a barricade on the close side of the bridge and groups were wiring mine explosives to the supports.

Sarah climbed down the bank to join Jimmy with the wiring.  “Where can I jump in?”

Jimmy gave her a quick look.  “Does Bill know you’re out here?”

“Yup,” she nodded.  “He was too busy to argue, so here I am.  Seriously, Jimmy, where can I help?”

He gestured down to the wires at his feet.  “Help me keep these from getting tangled?”

“Sure thing.”  Sarah fed out the fusing, following Jimmy from pillar to pillar.  “So what’s actually happening here?  Bill was in too much of a rush to tell me much and stories are a bit muddled in town.”

Jimmy huffed.  “Of course they are.  News in Jericho is always a giant game of Telephone.”  He gave her a quick rundown of the situation and what they knew about Ravenwood and their capabilities.

“So in other words, if we don’t blow this bridge, Jericho is toast today.  But if we do blow it, we’re cutting off a large number of farms and potentially trapping ourselves if Ravenwood or another group comes at us from the west,” Sarah summarized.  “Peachy.”

“We’ll try defending it first but,” Jimmy lowered his voice, “that’s not likely to do much except get ourselves killed.  Those guys are good and we’re… well, we’re barely organized.  I don’t know that we have a real choice here.”

Sarah sighed.  From what she could tell, Jimmy was right.  Blowing the bridge was a desperate act, but it was the only course of action to save them all today.  Maybe Ravenwood wouldn’t take it out on the farms that were cut off – she shuddered, thinking of Stanley and Bonnie.

Bill showed up around the time they were running the wiring to the road atop the bridge, helping Gray carry boxes of ammunition and rifles.  He barely gave Sarah a look; she wasn’t sure if he was in work mode or was put out with her.  Possibly both.

She didn’t have long to contemplate it: the warning flare went off and everyone ran to take up positions behind the barricades.  Bill pointed her to a particularly sturdy-looking old truck.  “Stay behind there.  Don’t you dare get yourself hurt,” he said sternly.

And then Ravenwood was there.  Sarah was chilled.  She’d never really believed there’d be combat on American soil in her lifetime, much less Americans against Americans.  Yet here there were, a ragtag bunch of locals squaring off against a trained paramilitary force.  This sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen – at least not after the Revolutionary War.

She braced herself as Jake talked to the Ravenwood leader, a deceptively cheerful looking man, and tried not to notice that Bill was crouched in an area with little cover.  It was too late to get him to move, though; they were committed now.  She just prayed he’d somehow be protected.

It was Eric that came to their rescue, though: Eric and Jonah Prowse.  Oh, that had to rankle Bill.

She found him after Jonah drove off and he finally grabbed her for a hug.  “We lucked out,” he admitted.

“Yeah, we did,” Sarah agreed.  “I don’t see how that could have ended well.”

“It wouldn’t have.”  Bill wrapped an arm around her shoulder.  “Here, help me carry this stuff back.”

 

There was a crowd forming in Town Hall by the time they got back – a not-so-happy crowd.

Gray defended his decision to wire the bridge and the crowd seemed pretty evenly split between supporters and detractors.  Bill slipped over to join Jimmy, their uniformed presence helping quell some of the ire in the room.

The mood shifted suddenly when Johnston Green walked in; the first time he’d been in public in a little over a week.  There was a tense standoff between Johnston and Gray – and then Grey called for a mayoral election.  Oh jeez.  Sarah glanced at Bill and he was trying not to react, but she could tell he approved.

Sarah had to admit, she’d never been completely happy with Mayor Green’s leadership, but was Gray Anderson an improvement?  Drat, neither was a great option.

And heck, Bill was obviously going to support Gray.  Sarah had no clue who she’d support. 

Either way it went, Sarah thought as she walked home in the dark with Bill, things were about to get pretty divisive – in the town, but also in their home.

~~~

 

Bill made Sarah follow him into work the next day, but didn’t see her much for the few hours she stayed.  Jake Green came in and pulled both Bill and Jimmy into the Sheriff’s office for the morning hours.

“You want us to organize _what?_ ”

“We need a serious security force,” Jake repeated.

“And the deputies don’t count?” Bill asked wryly.

Jake gave Bill a look.  “Law enforcement isn’t military.  We need our own paramilitary group to defend against groups like Ravenwood.  Or Jonah, if it comes to it.”

Jake tossed a book on the counter.  Bill looked at it closely.  “US Rangers Handbook?”

“We’ll use it as a basis for training.  And if you’ve got your grandfather’s old stuff, Bill, we’ll add in paratrooper stuff.”

Bill straightened a little at the mention of his grandfather.  “I’ve got his things,” he said solemnly.

“Great,” said Jake.  “We’ll get the military vets in town to help with training, but I need you two in on it, too.  You’ve had training when it comes to combat engagements.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it that,” Jimmy said.  “More like Officer Involved Shooting training.”

“But you’ve trained for shooting at someone who is shooting back.  And you’ve trained these guys.  I need your help.”

Jimmy and Bill looked at each other.  Bill knew Jake was right: they needed protection and the deputies alone weren’t doing it.

It’d take a lot more time and energy, but…  “I’m in,” he told Jake.

 

“And you’ve already signed up for this?  To help train?” Sarah asked, leaning against the counter with a concerned look.

“Yeah.  I’ll be part of the group, too, especially until everyone else is ready to go,” Bill explained, reaching out and grabbing her hand.  “It made the most sense.  There aren’t too many recent veterans in town right now, so Jimmy and I are the best qualified to teach everyone else the stuff from Academy.  It’ll be like what we did with the new deputies, except geared more towards military than law enforcement.  We’ll pull stuff from E.J.’s Ranger manual and Grandpa’s paratrooper training, so it should be easy enough to transition.”

“It sounds like something Jericho needs.  But…”  Sarah looked up at him, a little stricken and a little guilty over what she was about to say.  “But you’ve just got the new guys trained and have been at home a little more.  This’ll take you away even more and I– I was hoping things would start to be a little normal again.  That you’d be here.”

He pulled her close.  “It will take me away.  But it’s something that needs to be done.  I can’t say no.”

“I know,” she muttered.  “I just…  I’ve felt so tired and off lately and I’m not sure if it’s the seasons changing or having no meds or what, but I was really looking forward to you being here more.  Need you here to kick some energy into me.”

“I’ll be here whenever I can,” Bill promised.

“Yeah, I know.  You always are and I’m glad.”  Sarah leaned her head against his shoulder.  “I’m just being needy.  Ignore me.”

Bill kissed her forehead.  “Like I could ever do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a pretty quick posting schedule lately. This is probably going to slow down - NOT because I'm losing interest in the fic (in fact, just the opposite) - but because I have to wait for my beta to finish watching the show so I don't spoil him. Don't think the fic's been abandoned because I'm not posting every other day anymore!


	5. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 10 & 11 - Thanksgiving and supply drops and trouble in the marriage...

**November 6 th – 29th**

Bill stood at the head of the range and looked down the line.  Most of the people here were firing – or dummy firing, since they didn’t want to waste ammunition – their own guns and knew how to shoot.  There were a few, though…

He motioned to Jake, pointing out one woman whose gun was waving wildly; she just didn’t have the arm strength to keep aim for long periods of time.  Jake tapped the woman on the shoulder and pulled her off the line to rest.

It was frustrating trying to train the motley crew here.  Some were military vets and knew what they were about.  Most were farmers, who usually had _some_ skill with a gun, but the rest were salt miners, who generally had very little.  All were volunteers and over-eager.

Every afternoon, Bill took the volunteers to the range.  Every afternoon, Jake Green followed them out to observe.  Bill guessed it made sense – Jake _had_ done some good things for the town since he came home – but he still wasn’t Bill’s favorite person.

It’d be a lie to say he wasn’t warming to him, though.  This was not the same Jake who’d left town in scandal.

Bill called for the range to go cold and stepped forward to critique the volunteers’ techniques.

It’d be a long time until they were Rangers.

~~~

 

“Bill!  What happened to you?”  Sarah hopped up from her spot in the living room, reading by lamplight. 

She’d started having a little more energy lately and was hoping the depression was through for now.  The best part of that was spending more time at the station during the day – about the only time she saw Bill until he came dragging in late at night after training.

God, she wished he were home more.  Especially on nights like this, when he came home with small scratches and bruises on his face.  It was too cold for him to undress fully, but she was willing to bet his chest and arms looked just as bad.

“Started hand-to-hand training tonight,” he explained.  “We don’t own any pads – that was all at the Academy.  Some of the guys don’t know how to pull their punches.”

Sarah caressed his face, avoiding the hurt spots.  “Babe, you’ve got to have a better way of doing that.”

“Jimmy and I are the only ones with the training who are willing.”  He shrugged.  “Someone’s gotta do it.”

“Why is that someone always you?” Sarah asked.  “Come on, we’ve got some alcohol left.  Let me clean you up.”

Sarah led Bill by the embers of the fire she’d cooked over, where there was still a little warmth.  “Wait here,” she instructed.

Bill was still kneeling by the fireplace when she came back with the rubbing alcohol and some cotton balls.  Carefully, she dabbed at the cuts on his face while he winced.

Leaning back, Sarah looked over her work.  “Now your chest,” she said.  “I know you took some blows there, too.”

Bill looked guilty, which was admission enough.  He slowly took off his coat and his shirts.  Sarah motioned for the compression wrap to go, too.

Bill’s chest was covered in black and blue bruises; some in the middle of his chest, others on the sides by his ribs.

“Honey,” Sarah said.  “You can’t _do_ this.  Not if you want your ribs to finish healing.”  She looked closely for cuts and scrapes, applying the alcohol as she went.

“Someone has to,” Bill said.  “And it’s pretty much me and Jimmy.”

Sarah smiled sadly.  It always came down to Bill and Jimmy, didn’t it?  “You need to step back and let them spar each other, not you.”

Bill frowned.  “I’m doing the best I can, Sarah.  Don’t harp on it,” he said sharply.

Sarah pulled back from Bill like she’d been whipped.  “Okay,” she said after a minute.  “I won’t try to watch out for you.”

“Aw, hell.”  Bill softened.  “That’s not what I meant.  I meant…”

“You meant you think you’re the only one qualified to do this stuff.  You think you have to push yourself to your limits so that others don’t have to.  You’re holding in all your anxiety and that’s not good.  I just want you to give yourself the same consideration you’d give, say, me.”

Bill reached up and cupped Sarah’s cheek.  Leaning forward, he kissed her.  If he was trying to shut her up, it worked.

“Stop worrying about me,” he whispered.  “I’m handling myself.”

~~~

 

The mayor came into the station one morning.  “Bill!  Jimmy!  I need to talk to you.”

The two deputies looked at each other.  “Yes, sir,” Jimmy said.

They followed him into the sheriff’s office and closed the door behind them.

Johnston paced.  “You all know we’ve got this damn fool election coming up.  And what this town needs is good leadership.  We’ve got a hole with the sheriff missing.  I’d like to ask one of you to run for the position so we can have it filled.  Last thing we need is some outsider coming in and taking it away from the only two people qualified.”

Bill gulped.  Sheriff?  Him?  Or Jimmy?  He didn’t want that.

It must have shown in his face because Johnston laughed.  “Think on it, sons.”

 

Bill sat in the office for nearly an hour, talking with Jimmy.

“I don’t want the job,” Jimmy said.  “You run.”

“You’ve been a deputy longer than I have,” Bill pointed out.  “More people like you.”

“But I _don’t want_ to be sheriff,” Jimmy repeated.

“Neither do I,” admitted Bill.

“So what do we do?”

“I guess we have to tell Mayor Green we won’t run.”

“What if someone else runs?” asked Bill.

Jimmy shrugged a shoulder.  “I guess we see who it is.”

Bill couldn’t think of anyone in town he’d like to work for, but he was pretty sure Jimmy meant Jake Green.  Bill wasn’t there quite yet, even if the man had proved himself capable.

 

That afternoon, before they left for Ranger training, Bill and Jimmy stopped by the Mayor’s office.

“We’ve talked it over, sir,” Jimmy said, “and truth is, neither of us wants to run for the job.”

“Well, that is a shame,” Johnston said, leaning forward on his desk.  “I was counting on you two.”

How could the man always make you feel like you were a kid getting a talking-to again?  He was too good at that, Bill thought.

“It’s the truth,” Bill said.  “Neither of us feel we’re prepared for the job.”

“Unless someone else runs,” said Jimmy quickly. 

Bill shot him a look.  They hadn’t planned on saying that.

“Well, I suppose the best course of action is to not mention the post and hope no one else runs.  You two have been running the department well together.”

Jimmy’s shoulders relaxed.  “Yes, that’s it.  We work better together.”

Bill really couldn’t argue.  “We’ve got enough going on with Ranger training that running a campaign is just out of the question,” he explained further.

“We’ll just have to continue without a sheriff, then.  Thank you boys.”

Bill heard the thank you, but he still felt like he’d been chastised.  He was a grown man!

But… what if someone _did_ run for sheriff?  Would he have to step up then?  Would people vote for him?  Or would they remember every little traffic infraction he’d ever pulled them over for and vote for a new guy?  Would he end up working for someone else?  Damn Johnston for putting this on them.  Gray would never do that.

Bill had to stop before he left the building to get his breath under control.  Last thing he needed was a panic attack over this.

He just hoped he could stop it.

 

Shaking, Bill pushed open the front door.  He stepped inside and heard Sarah calling his name.

He was so tense, he couldn’t answer.  A panic attack was coming – thank God he made it home before it hit.

Sarah walked out of the living room, immediately looking concerned.  Bill knew she recognized the signs of his anxiety.  “Babe,” she said softly.  “Come lie down with me.

Bill let himself be led to the bedroom.  Sarah took off his shoes and his coat, turning down the covers after she’d done so.  Bill slid into bed, pulling the covers up to his chin to ward against the cold.

Joining him, Sarah ran a hand up and down his arm under the stack of quilts keeping them warm.  “C’mon, babe.  Breathe.  Don’t hold your breath.  You can get through this.”

Bill closed his eyes, focusing on her voice and not listening to the thoughts that told him he’d lash out and hurt her, that he’d messed up today by not running for Sheriff, that he wasn’t good enough to be a deputy, that he was a bad person.

No.  He didn’t listen to those voices.  He had a voice smarter than his brain telling him things would be all right.

Bill listened to Sarah and tried to believe her.

~~~

 

Bill coughed in the cold and his ribs ached.  They were almost healed, he thought, but he was still wearing the compression wrap just to help hold them in place.  It helped especially at times like these: Jake was teaching the Rangers how to ride horses and shoot from the saddle.  They’d broken out hunting bows and arrows for some of the trainees since it was ammo that could be reused, and Bill sat astride a small grey gelding, holding his bow.

This was completely new to him, but he wasn’t about to let any of the Ranger trainees know it.

They’d set a target up on the other end of the corral at the 4-H fairgrounds for the trainees to shoot at.

Surprisingly, one of the best so far was Jennifer Anders, Sarah’s disliked coworker.  She’d grown up on a farm and did a little rodeo riding as a teenager.  Bill couldn’t wait to get home to tell Sarah.

Just as Bill feared, he had to take a turn, too.  He was a good shot with the bow, but he’d never shot from a moving horse before.  Maybe the fact the target was stationary would help.

It didn’t.  Bill hit the target, but on the edge.  Some of the trainees jeered as he rode up to the target to fetch his arrow.

He was definitely going to stay late and practice.  No one was going to laugh at him again.

~~~

 

Sarah’s energy was flagging.  She wanted nothing more than to crash on the couch all day.  It was an improvement over staying in bed, at least.  The cramps weren’t an improvement, but at least she still had a little Midol to assuage them.  She was missing her music, too.  Silence all day was deafening.

Jeez, she really wished Bill were home more.  She’d just have to take advantage of time at the station, though.  The second Bill came home, he wanted to eat and then crash in bed.  He wouldn’t even tell her about his day until he’d had his food.

Sarah felt kind of like she had a busy roommate, not a husband any more.

“Hey, hon,” Bill said, stopping at the counter where she was taking a report.  “How’s it going here?”

“Tired,” she admitted, “but good.  You?”

“Another report of tree theft.”

Sarah frowned.  Tree theft wasn’t a thing she was used to, but she didn’t think it was usual for Jericho either.  “What happened?”

“Someone caught someone else cutting down trees from their windbreak to turn them into firewood.  We can’t prove anything, though, unless we catch them in the act.  It’s not like it’s illegal to have stockpiled firewood right now,” Bill explained.

“Are you sure they’re keeping it all?” she asked.  “Have you checked to see who’s selling to Gracie?  Extra credit at the store is worth a lot these days.”

Bill grinned and kissed her on the cheek.  “I hadn’t even thought of that.  See, this is why I keep you around: you’re brilliant.”

Sarah just grinned and fought back a yawn.

~~~

 

“You going out on the turkey shoot this morning?” Sarah asked, once Thanksgiving rolled around.

Bill looked at her wryly.  “You really want to clean and cook a whole turkey in our little fireplace?”

Sarah glanced over to the fireplace and nodded.  “Okay, point.”

“Besides, my dad’s going and if he catches one, they’ll share.  If not, we’ve got that rabbit I caught yesterday.”

Sarah made a face at the idea of killing a rabbit, but what else were they going to do?  They had themselves and a hungry dog to feed.  Meat didn’t come in everyone’s weekly grain rations: that was everyone for themselves.  Most of the time, she could afford to trade some of their grain rations for some meat at Gracie’s market, but this week, people were hoarding.  Meat prices had gone way up.

It helped that they were friends with Stanley, who gave them a steep discount on fresh fruits and vegetables from his farm.  They had more apples and fall squash than either of them wanted, but at least it was better than corn all the time.  At least some of the teachers and museum docents had managed to get the grain mill from the pioneer museum running again – it helped to have the choice of whole corn, corn meal, or grits.

“I don’t even like turkey and it sounds delicious,” Sarah said.  “I hope your dad _does_ catch one.” 

“You realize we’ll have to save some of the cooked meat for Sadie,” Bill said, petting the dog next to him. 

“I know.  The rabbit, too.  I’m not getting greedy.”

A low, rumbly noise rang through the air and Sarah perked up.  “Airplanes?” she asked, confused.

She and Bill ran outside to look, just in time to see bombers drop boxes with parachutes over the town.

“What the hell?”

“I’ve gotta–”

Sarah frowned.  “Yeah, you’ve gotta go.  I know.”  Bill _always_ had to go.

 

Bill pulled on his uniform and ran downtown, running into Jimmy on the way. 

“Did you see that?” Jimmy asked.

“No, Jimmy, I’m just running downtown because I felt like it,” Bill quipped.

Bill’s humor didn’t even faze Jimmy.  “I counted twelve parachutes.”

“We sure they’re not bombs?” Bill asked darkly.

“Aw, c’mon, Bill.  Those weren’t bombs.  You haven’t heard any explosions, have you?”

“They could be on timers,” Bill pointed out.

“It was a drop of _something_ , not bombs,” Jimmy said firmly.

“Guess we’ll find out,” Bill grumped.

 

They decided to split the fall once they realized the drop was numbered.  Bill headed out after drops one through six, Jimmy looked for seven through twelve.

They each took a few guys from the department with them, to help load.  Bill took his old SUV – thank goodness it was still running – and loaded up two drops at a time, delivering them to the town square.

His six found, Bill started helping sort out the food in each drop.  He couldn’t tell what it was – darn Chinese – but his mouth watered just at the thought of how much food was here.  Even dividing it up between the five thousand people of Jericho, there was enough to feed him and Sarah for a while.  And Sadie, if she’d eat the dried fish.  And his parents, he realized.

He had so many people to worry about.

Suddenly a few people in the crowd rushed forward and started grabbing boxes of food.  Bill had to stop that – they’d hand out the food soon enough, right?  He stood on some boxes.

“Hey!  Stop!” he yelled.  “Put that down!”

No one listened.  Shit, was he losing his authority?  He needed to maintain peace with all this food around.

 _He_ had to maintain his peace, or else his anxiety would continue rising.

He pulled his gun and fired a shot into the air, trembling as he did so.  “Everyone drop what you have and take a step back right now!”

“Bill!” came the voice of the mayor.  Bill hadn’t realized he was out there.  “Put that damn gun away now!  Get this area cordoned off now!”

Bill shook as he put his gun away, anxious after having been yelled at.  He was sure he looked shell-shocked; he definitely felt it.  Who was Johnston to yell at him like that when he was just trying to help?

Gray entered the circle of food and Bill felt calmer immediately.  Here was someone with some sense.

“We need food now,” Gray said, and Bill nodded.  Gray knew what the town needed.  Sure, a food drop from China was sketchy, but without food, there wouldn’t be a Jericho for him to protect!

 

“You know, that bag of rice could feed this whole crowd,” Gray argued.  “They’d like to know when they’re going to see some of it!”

Bill certainly would.  He kept his mouth shut and kept loading food into Gracie’s shop, though.

“Well, odd as it might seem to you, Gray, we’re trying to come up with a plan to distribute this stuff fairly,” Mayor Green said.  “It might have to last us through the winter.”

 _That_ pushed Bill’s buttons.  “Through the winter?” he asked incredulously.  “My family’s hungry _now_ , not when you decide it’s okay for them to be hungry!”

“This might be the last food we get,” Jake said, moving over to get in Bill’s way.

Two could play that game.  Bill slunk up and stood up tall as he could in Jake’s face.  “Yeah?  Well, we’re not getting it, Jake.  You are!”

“We’re hungry, too, Bill!”

As if he believed that.

“Hey, hey, Bill.  Nobody here is taking anything,” the mayor said.  “If you just wait, you’ll find there’s plenty of this to go around.”

Bill turned and stalked back into Gracie’s Market before he said something that cost him his job.

He heard Gray chime in again as he left.  “It may come as a surprise to some of you Greens, but many of us can think for ourselves.”

Ah, good.  Gray speaking sense again.

 

Sarah wandered out of the house around noon, with lunch for Bill – some cornbread she’d made and some fresh beef fat from Gracie’s market to spread on it.  He hadn’t come back home, but there weren’t any explosions or gunfire, so she assumed they weren’t under attack.

The hullabaloo downtown took her by surprise.

“What’s all this?” she asked, sneaking her way up to the yellow tape and catching Bill’s attention.

Man, he looked grumpy.  “Food drop.  But they’re not distributing it.”

Sarah frowned.  Surely that was a misunderstanding.  She held up the bag she’d brought.  “Lunch.  You can have it now,” she echoed.

Bill looked around and then snuck under the yellow tape, pulling the latex gloves off his hands.  “You’re a godsend.”

“It’s just cornbread,” she said sadly.  “Wish I could have brought you more.”

“Wish I could send some of this home with you,” Bill said, gesturing to all the food from the drops.

“Yeah,” Sarah agreed.  “What’s up with it?”

“It’s from China.  Came with ‘Do Not Fight’ flyers.  The Greens think it might be poisoned, so they won’t hand it out yet,” Bill grumped.  “But we need the food.  They even sent it on Thanksgiving so we could eat well.”

“That’s not a bad idea, though, making sure it’s safe.”

Bill pulled a face.  “Oh, not you too!  Just think how much we need this, how well we could eat tonight.  Not just cornbread,” he said, gesturing at the food Sarah brought.

Her mood dropped when he said that; it was an automatic response.  “I’m sorry I didn’t bring something better.”

Bill sighed in frustration.  “No, that’s not what I meant.”

“It’s okay,” Sarah said, even though she didn’t feel okay.  “I understand.  I’m put out with how little we have, too.”

“But you brought what we have.  _That’s_ the point.  We should have more when there’s so much sitting here.”

“How long are we going to be without food, though?  We’re at the end of harvest, so no more fresh food until spring,” Sarah asked.

Before Bill could answer, Jake drove back up and gestured for him to follow.  Bill grimaced.  “Babe, I gotta go,” he said, handing back the rest of the cornbread.

 

The last drop was a generator.  Stolen by Jonah.  Who hurt Stanley in order to get it.

Why in the world was Johnston not calling up the Rangers to head out there?  That was exactly what they were for, right?

Instead, Johnston stood in front of the sheriff’s department gun safe.  “I’m not getting us into a firefight unless I can get us out – all of us!” he argued with Gray.

“Look,” Eric jumped in.  “Why don’t I go down there with Jimmy and Bill and talk to them?”

Bill gave Eric a look.  _Talk_ to Jonah?  Because that had worked _so_ well in the past.  “Uh, all due respect, Eric, _hell_ no.”  Not to mention Bill wasn’t going to listen to a man who’d walked out on his wife and was living with his mistress.  He just couldn’t respect a man who did that.

Jimmy looked troubled.  Bill frowned.  Jimmy should be backing him up here.  Where was his partner?

It took Jake arguing for a confrontation to convince Johnston they needed to head out armed.

Jake might be on Bill’s shit list today, but at least he got that right.  Too bad they had to leave Gray behind.

 

Bill stood at the ready while Johnston talked to Jonah.  It was futile, he knew, but Johnston had insisted on trying.  Like Eric, he seemed to think Jonah would listen to reason and give up the generator for the good of the whole town.

Hah.  Jonah wouldn’t know the good of the whole town if it hit him in the face.

Of course, Bill wondered the same about Johnston these days.

He handed Johnston a gear bag and a rifle when the negotiations inevitably went south.  Bill took up position again, ready to go.

Before anyone fired, though, the flatbed with the generator started up and drove through the gate.  Bill almost fired – they were trying to run! – but then he saw Emily Sullivan at the helm of the truck.

What in the world?

 

“Bill, you got the other generators working.  You good working on this one?”  Jake had asked, once they got the generator back to Town Hall.

Of course Bill had said yes, which was why he was stuck out in the dark with Robert Hawkins and Gray Anderson, trying to get the generator started, instead of heading home to Thanksgiving dinner with Sarah.  Even if it was just more cornbread and beef fat, he would much rather be there.

Besides, “How do we know this thing isn’t some kind of bomb?” he asked when Hawkins said it was ready to go.

“Well, Gray’s still alive, so let’s risk it,” Hawkins joked.

Bill shined his flashlight on Gray and all three men laughed.

“Thanks for your help, Mr. Hawkins,” Bill said, putting away his flashlight and getting ready to turn on the generator.  “Sorry to take you away on Thanksgiving.”

But then, of course, Hawkins asked for ten minutes before Bill turned the thing on and how could he say no after the man had helped him?

While they were waiting, Gray excused himself, heading back home to his wife.

Gee, Bill wished he could be doing the same.

It was hard to be too upset when Hawkins showed back up with his family.  Bill understood wanting to show them.  He wished Sarah was here to see the lights, too.

 

The house was in near complete darkness when Bill got home.  Food packets – the last of their camping food, Bill realized – sat out on the counter and Sarah was wiped out asleep on the couch.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead.  She didn’t rouse, though, so Bill picked up one of her hands and rubbed it.

That got a response – Sarah pulled her hand away and rubbed her eyes.  “Bill?” she asked.  “That you?”

“I hope I’m the only one you were expecting,” he joked softly.  “You feeling okay?”

“Just exhausted, like the last couple weeks,” Sarah said.  “Nothing new.”

She scooted over so he could sit on the couch next to her head.  She stretched and laid her head in his lap while he stroked her hair.

“We’ve got new stuff downtown,” he said.  “That drop included a generator.  Downtown has power now.”

“That’s great!”  He could feel her smile against his leg.  “But do we have gasoline for it?”

“There was some dropped.  I think if we ration it out, we can keep the lights on at Town Hall and the clinic.  Maybe even Bailey’s.”  He made a face at the mention of Bailey’s, but Sarah couldn’t see it.

Sarah snuggled in to him.  “You hungry?” she asked.

Bill smiled.  He was starving, but this was too nice of a moment to leave.  “In a bit.  Too comfortable now.”

“I’m glad you made it home safely.”

Sarah didn’t even know about the almost shootout, Bill thought.  She just wanted him home with her.

Oh, he was going to have to work harder on that.  He needed her, too.

~~~

 

“This is an incredible waste of time and energy,” Gail Green complained, walking down the stairs with some campaign signs.  “And it’s only happening because Gray Anderson is insisting on this ridiculous election.”

Bill looked up from where he and Jimmy were setting up voting stalls.  He was very proud of himself for not making a face at Mrs. Green.

“Yeah, why are we having this election?” Jimmy asked, to Bill’s shock.  “I mean, we don’t even know if the U.S. Government still exists.”

What?  Jimmy was talking crazy.

“We stop having elections, it doesn’t exist,” Mayor Green explained. 

For once, Bill agreed with him.

The kid at Gracie’s store – Dale, Bill remembered – walked into Town Hall covered in blood.  Bill started.

“She’d dead,” the kid said, trembling.  “Gracie’s dead.”

 

News traveled fast.  Bill and Jimmy had their work cut out for them keeping the crowds back from Gracie Leigh’s store.

Of all people to show up, Bill was shocked at Mitchell Cafferty.  It took everything in him not to arrest him then and there for escaping from their jail. 

“I know who killed her,” he said.  “Jonah did this.”

Jimmy looked over at Bill, shrugged, and showed him in to talk with the mayor, Eric, and Gray, who were discussing the murder.

Bill couldn’t hear what was being said until Eric escorted Mitchell out and down the street to Town Hall.

“We just had our first murder in thirty years!” Gray exclaimed.

“And I’ve been mayor of this town for twenty-five of those years,” Mayor Green shot back.

“Maybe that’s the problem!” Gray said.  “You still think Jericho’s the same sweet little town it was before the bombs!  We need someone who understands–”

The mayor cut him off.  “Save it for the election, Gray.”

“This is what the election is about!”

Mayor Green turned to Jimmy.  “You want to get this civilian off the crime scene?”

Gray turned and stalked off.  Bill watched him go, half wanting to follow him and tell him he was right.

But this was his job.  Hiding his true feelings and doing what the mayor said, whoever the mayor happened to be.

He held out his arms, keeping the crowd back.  “C’mon, guys, you know you can’t go in here.”

 

Once the coroner came, they locked up Gracie’s store.  “Go look for Jonah,” the mayor instructed, before taking Dale back to Town Hall.

Jimmy and Bill split up and checked down Main Street, meeting up in Bailey’s.

“Any news on Jonah?” Bill asked.

“No, no one in here has seen him,” Jimmy said.

They stopped at the corner of the bar and Bill rounded on Jimmy, curious how he would react.  “Jonah better hope that Gray doesn’t find him.  He says he’s going to make an example out of him.”

Jimmy scoffed.  “What’s he going to do?  String him up?  You can’t kill someone in the middle of Main Street.”

Bill shrugged.  “Yeah?  Tell that to Gracie Leigh.  Gray came back from Topeka a changed man.  He’s not messing around.  And I, for one, think he’s got the right idea.”  He was the only one preaching action, for one.  Bill hated waiting around for the road gangs to attack them.  Jericho should be more proactive.

“W…wait a minute,” Jimmy said, looking shocked.  “You’re not voting for Gray Anderson?”

Bill wondered where Jimmy had been the last couple of weeks.  Of _course_ he was voting for Gray.  But still…  “I’m not gonna answer that.  This is still America.”  Bill turned and left Bailey’s.

“Yeah, just barely,” muttered Jimmy as he followed.

“Bill!” Gray called when he passed him in the street.  “Need your help finding Jonah!”

Bill ignored Jimmy’s incredulous look.  “Sure, sir!  Let me grab a rifle!”

 

“We should check Emily Sullivan’s house,” Bill suggested.

“That’s his daughter, right?  Where does she live?”  Gray asked, driving the truck full of men.

“The Pines.  I’ll point you in the right direction.”

They pulled up right behind Jake and Hawkins.  To Bill, that said they were in the right spot.

He led the men – some of them civilians, a few of them Ranger trainees – around back to see if Jonah was hiding in the bushes while Gray went to check inside.

Some part of Bill knew Sarah wouldn’t approve of this sort of search, but he was doing what he needed to be doing.  Without him, these men were just vigilantes.  With him, they had the authority to arrest Jonah when they found him.

 

Sarah managed to get up and out, to her own surprise.  Something was up, she knew; cars had been driving through the neighborhood since mid-day. 

Bill would probably prefer her to stay in – he did any time something big happened – but he wasn’t here to stop her.

She ran into Joanna and her husband Brett at Bailey’s.  “Did you hear?”  Joanna hissed conspiratorially.  “Someone killed Gracie Leigh last night.”

Sarah’s eyes widened.  “Really?  What for?”

“Those prices?” asked Brett.  Joanna smacked his arm, “No, they think it was Jonah.”

“Jonah Prowse?” Sarah asked. 

“Yeah, there’s groups out looking for him now.”

Someone ran into the tavern.  “Gray’s gonna give a speech!  Come on outside!”

Sarah, Joanna, and Brett all followed the crowd outside and down to Gracie’s shop, where Sarah saw the memorial set up for the first time.  Where had people found all this stuff to leave? she wondered.

“We’re not safe,” Gray said to the small crowd surrounding him.  “Gracie’s death makes that all too clear.”

Sarah looked around for Bill, figuring he would be with Gray, but didn’t see him.  He must still be out looking for Jonah.  Sarah hoped he was going about it legally.

“The chaos I saw when I was fighting my way back to Jericho,” Gray continued.  “Well, now it’s right here on our Main Street.  Criminals like Jonah Prowse think we’re easy targets now.”

The crowd began nodding at Gray’s words.  Sarah wasn’t so sure, but had to admit he _was_ convincing. 

“I’ll tell you what, Neil,” Gray said, singling out one of the mine workers in the crowd, “I think we should go find Jonah Prowse and make an example of him.  And he shouldn’t get to sit around for fifteen years before he gets what’s coming to him.  We gotta send a _message_.  Crime will not be tolerated.  We are willing to do whatever it takes to keep Jericho safe!”

Gray closed with a rote “vote for me” message.  Sarah bade farewell to her friends and went into the station to poke around and wait for Bill while she still had the energy.

Jimmy was in there with some of the trainees.  He gestured for Sarah to follow him into the sheriff’s office.

“Bill’s not really supporting Gray, is he?” he asked, worried.

Sarah looked curiously at Jimmy.  Was he just now figuring this out?  “Bill’s pretty much set on it, yeah.”

“How… how can he?  How can he not support Mayor Green?”  Jimmy seemed bewildered.  A shock crossed his face.  “Do _you_ support Gray?”

Sarah sighed.  “Honestly, Jimmy, I think I might sit it out tomorrow.  I’m not happy with either candidate.”

“But Mayor Green…”

“Is doing the best he can, but I’m not sure his approach is the best right now.  And with his health so bad recently…”

Jimmy was stricken.  “I don’t understand.  He’s been good to us and Gray is such a loose cannon.”

Sarah placed a hand on Jimmy’s arm.  “I know.  But Bill’s doing what he thinks is best.  You gotta do the same.”

There was a knock on the door and Emily Sullivan stood there.  “Jonah.  He’s gone.  Where’s Jake?”

“You knew where your father was this whole time?”  Jimmy hopped up and led Emily out of the station, questioning her the whole time.

Sarah looked around the station until she found some reports to file.  She didn’t do much else around here, but it was something that had to be done.  At least she could help _some_.

 

Sarah looked up when she heard the commotion outside moving in.  Bill paraded into the station, leading the way for Gray and Jonah.

Her heart dropped.  If Gray was the one who brought Jonah in… well, that cinched the election, didn’t it?

She waited while Bill and Gray locked up Jonah, then came out triumphantly.

“Elect me tomorrow and you will see justice served!” Gray crowed to the gathered crowd.

Bill sidled over next to her.  “It’s been a good day,” he said.  “First murder in nearly my lifetime and we solved it in a single day.”

It seemed too pat to Sarah, but she wasn’t about to argue with Bill when he was this happy.  “Good for you,” she said.  “Now are you ready to head home?  It’s getting late.”

Bill looked at her, disappointed.  She was taking him away from his celebration.

Sarah sighed.  “Okay, well, _I_ am going home.  You come when you’re ready.  I’ll probably be in bed already.”

“Aren’t you usually?”

That comment made Sarah freeze where she was.  She turned to Bill, who already looked regretful.  “I’m sorry,” she said slowly, biting out each word.  “I’ll do better to live up to what you deserve.”

“Sarah, I shouldn’t have said…”

Sarah knocked away Bill’s hand.  “No, you said what you meant.”  She stalked off and out of the station.

“Maybe I did,” Bill mumbled as she left.

 

Sarah waited up just to spite Bill.

He came in, looking irritated and anxious.  Must have been a long day.  Susan didn’t care.

“Well, look who’s awake,” he said harshly.

“Yeah, well, thought I’d see if I could surprise you.”

“Oh yeah?  Want to surprise me? Get some actual work done around the house while you’re moping around here.  Get up when I do and actually get dressed.”

Sarah’s eyes narrowed angrily.  “Oh, because it’s all _my_ responsibility, right?  You live here, too, you know.  When’s the last time you took _your dog_ for a walk?  Or made sure she got fed?  Huh?”

“I am so tired of you being depressed and moody,” Bill fumed.  “You know it exacerbates my anxiety and I’ve _got_ to be out there doing stuff.  You don’t.”

Sarah shoved Bill hard enough to knock him back a couple steps.  “That’s right.  You’re more important than me and the whole town better know it.  Well, I’ll just fix my bipolar and be the perfect trophy wife for you.  I’ve been hiding that side of me all along.”

Sarah stormed into the bedroom and came out with pajamas and a blanket.  “Go sleep in the bed, your Majesty.  I’m going over to Margaret’s for the night.”

~~~

 

It’d been a rough morning, with Sarah not talking to him, but Bill was doing better now.  He’d been one of the first to cast his vote for Gray Anderson and now he was guarding the ballot box with Jimmy.

It made him proud to know he was a part of this electoral process.  This election was too important to sit out.

Which made him wonder where Sarah was?  Wasn’t she going to come and vote?

He wished she’d show up and they could at least talk.  And maybe she’d bring him lunch.

 

Sarah never went, though she sent Bill lunch and dinner through Margaret.

Margaret, at least, understood why she was staying away.

“Dude, I’d let him stew.  I’m surprised you’re even bothering with food for him.”

Sarah gave a half smile and shrugged.  “Someone still has to take care of him.  Whether he was a jerk or not.”

“It’s not like you can help being so tired.  You’re off your medication!  Being tired is part of depression.”  Margaret said.  Once she’d learned, years before, that Sarah had bipolar, she’d studied what she could about it.  Sarah was still impressed at what a good friend she had in Margaret.

“And he knows that.  He’s just irritable and anxious because he’s off his own,” Sarah pointed out.  “I think last night, his emotions were just riding too high.  He didn’t have control of what he said.”

“Yeah, but what he said he meant.”

“I know.”  Sarah fidgeted a little.  “It was a little glimpse into how I’m not helping him right now.”

“He needs to help you, too!”  Margaret protested.

Sarah smiled briefly at her friend.  “Thank you.  But he’s right, too.  We need to meet each other in the middle and lately, we’re at opposite ends.  We’re spending too little time together.  I’m getting more depressed and he’s getting more anxious.”

“How’s he physically?”  Margaret laughed.  “I mean, how’s his physical health?  I know what you think of his body.”

Sarah grinned.  “He’s got a cough I’m worried about, but he always just blames it on the cold.  His ribs are almost healed, but he relies on that compression wrap still.  I think he’s afraid to go without it.  How’s Jimmy?”

Margaret shrugged.  “He’s hanging in there.  We see each other about as much as you do.  I wish he was home to spend more time with the kids.”

“Yeah, that would be important.”  Sarah looked over into the living room, where Woody and Sally worked on a puzzle. 

The two women were silent for a minute, watching the children.  Sarah shook herself out of her reverie and made to leave.  “You guys take care, okay?  Thanks for taking that to Bill for me.”

 

“Sarah!”  Bill called as he entered the house that night.  “Are you back?  Did you hear?  Gray won the election!”

Sarah emerged from the garage, wet spots on her clothes and holding a lantern.  “No, I didn’t,” she said shortly.  “Today is wash day.  And since you’re not here to do laundry, _someone_ had to stay in and get it done.  I’m on the last load.”

Bill ignored the irritated tone in her voice.  “Well, did you hear me?  Gray won!”

“Congratulations,” said Sarah drily.  “If you want me to wash your uniform, go change now.  Otherwise it’s waiting until next Saturday.” 

Sarah turned and walked back to the garage, leaving Bill stunned.  He thought Sarah would have had time to get over his remark by now.  It wasn’t like he meant it and she knew…

Didn’t she?

Bill went to the bedroom, where he let out the cough he’d been holding in – now that Sarah couldn’t hear him – and changed into some lumpy old flannel pajamas.  They weren’t fashionable in the least, but they were warm and he needed that right now.

He was afraid he was about to come down with something, but Bill was determined to act like he wasn’t.  He couldn’t afford to be sick.  Jericho couldn’t afford for him to be sick.  People were counting on him.

He just needed to get rid of this cough.  It was worse after he’d been outside, so maybe tomorrow he could stay inside.  After the swearing-in, of course.  Bill had been honored when Gray asked him to do that.  Never in his life did Bill think he’d have _that_ job, but he was going to cherish it.

Whether Sarah showed up or not.

~~~

 

Bill followed Gray inside proudly after his inauguration speech.  He’d gotten everything he voted for: food distribution and tighter security for the town.  What more could he want today?

“Bill, Harry,” Gray said, indicating one of his top men from the mine.  “Come with me.”

The two men followed Gray into the mayor’s office, where he pointed out a blackboard, filled out with information.

Grey pointed at the board.  “These are the resources Jericho has.  I want you two to be my point guys on this.  Bill, you monitor the food and firewood the town has available.  Harry, you handle medicine and gasoline for the generators.  Can you guys do that for me?”

“Uh, yeah,” Bill said, cowed by the added responsibility.  “Can do.”

“Good.  I’ll be counting on you,” Gray said.  “Harry, go grab some volunteers and start splitting up the food at Gracie’s.  Bill, I need you as a lead deputy now.  It’s time to go deal with Jonah.”

Deal with Jonah?  What did Gray have planned?  Create a seclusion cell and lock him away for the time being?

“We all agree he’s guilty, right?”

“Right,” said both Bill and Harry, looking at each other.

“Good.  Let’s go, Bill.  We’re taking Jonah to a new location.”

 

One look at Gray told Bill the truth.  Gray _was_ going to just take Jonah out to the country and he expected _Bill_ to do the shooting.

No.  Uh-uh.  Bill was not going to be part of that.

“I’m not shooting anybody,” Bill protested quickly.  How could Gray think he would do that?  His job was to protect, not to kill.  He’d shot at people in the line of duty, sure, but never killed anyone. 

Jake grabbed Jonah’s shoulder and forced him to his knees, all while holding his gun out to Gray.

“This is what you want, right?” Jake asked.  “You make the rules?  Decide who lives and dies?”

Bill watched, stunned.  Officially, he should be stopping this, but he couldn’t look away, wondering what Gray was going to do.

“Go ahead and do it!” Jake urged.  “But you do it here.  In front of me and Dale.  In front of everyone.  Not… not in some back room with your buddies.”

Bill looked at Gray for some kind of response.  He didn’t appreciate being dragged into this.  This was way above his pay grade – especially considering he wasn’t getting paid anymore.

“Don’t let someone else do your dirty work for you, Mayor,” Jake continued, pushing the gun at Gray.  “You want him dead, you take this gun and blow his brains out.”

Bill watched in horror as Gray grabbed the gun and loaded a round into the chamber.  Was he about to be witness to a murder?  Bill looked away.

Jake kept talking to Gray, up until the moment Gray finally let his hands drop, letting Jake grab the gun back.

Everyone stopped and stared at Jake, waiting for a sign of what to do next.

“Well, can we at least agree to listen to Jonah’s side of the story?” he asked.

 

Bill walked home, cold and emotionally and physically exhausted.  He was beginning to feel like he was fighting off some illness, too – this cough just lingered and hurt his ribs.  He hoped Sarah was in a better mood because he couldn’t handle more of the cold shoulder from her.

He knocked before walking in, just to give her warning.  She met him in the hallway.

“How was getting to swear in Gray?” she asked, coolly, heading back to the living room.

“It was interesting,” Bill admitted.  “He wants me in his inner group, handling food supplies and the distribution of rations.  And then he asked me to kill Jonah Prowse.”

Sarah stopped mid-step and looked at him.  “He what now?”

Bill sighed, taking off him uniform jacket to hang up.  “Gray’s more ruthless than I knew.  He wanted me to execute Jonah tonight.”

“Did you?” Sarah asked slowly.

“Of course not!” Bill scoffed.  Surely Sarah didn’t think he would…?

She sighed in relief.  Apparently she did.  Bill’s heart sunk at that.  He felt so far away from her right now.  How was he going to fix this?  Why hadn’t he just kept his damn mouth shut?

He didn’t get a chance to try – there was a knock at the door and Bill found one of his deputies there, winded.

“Bill, you gotta get back down here.  There’s a bunch of refugees show up in town.  And… and one of them is Roger Hammond.  Jimmy said to come get you.”

Bill looked longingly at Sarah, who waved goodbye and left him standing in the hallway.

Bill put his coat back on and left.

 

 


	6. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 15-16

**November 30th - December 13th**

Bill made it through half a day of working the ration tables and processing refugees into the town before he had to admit defeat: he’d come down with something.

He felt feverish and his cough just wouldn’t go away.  His chest felt heavy, even with the compression wrap off.

“You wore the compression wrap, didn’t you?” asked Dr. Green as she listened to his chest.  “Congratulations. You’ve got pneumonia. Probably viral, but it’s not like I have any more antibiotics anyway.  You’re stuck healing on your own.”

Bill looked at her like she was crazy.  “I can’t have pneumonia. I have work to do.”

“You remember how well that worked out with Johnston?” April reminded him.  “Yeah. That’s going to be you if you don’t slow down. And I’m out of Levaquin.”

Bill wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about, but he wasn’t going to argue any more.  “What do I do?”

“You go home and rest.  Have your wife tell the department where you are.  Light duty if you must, but I’d advise against it.”

Go home.  Bill sighed.  Home wasn’t so fun these days.

 

Sarah could tell Bill felt horrible when he walked straight in and crashed on the couch, in full uniform.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.  She hadn’t forgiven him for his remark or lack of further apology, but she did still love him.  It wasn’t pleasant seeing him hurting.

“No,” Bill croaked.  “Got pneumonia. No meds for it at the clinic.  You gotta go tell Jimmy and Gray I can’t work.”

“I do?” Sarah asked, hardening some.

“Dr. Green said so,” Bill explained, face in a pillow.  “I’m s’posed to rest.”

“That’ll be a first.”

“You gotta be nice to me.  I’m sick.”

Sarah snorted.  “Okay, I’m off. You sleep.”

“Yes’m,” mumbled Bill, halfway there already.

 

Bill woke to the smell of cooking meat - a rarity these days.  He rolled over on the couch and found Sarah frying some strips of some bird meat in their small fireplace.

“Whassat?” he asked, still feeling muzzy.  He wondered if Sarah felt this bad after their first date.  She, at least, had medicine.

“Making you a stew.  Your dad caught the pheasant.”  Sarah paused. “Oh, I stopped by your parents on the way back from downtown.  They’re worried about you.”

“They’re always worried ‘bout me,” Bill said.

Sarah smiled a little.  “That’s true. They split the pheasant meat with us so you’d have something substantial to eat.  Something better than bread and rice and dried fish.”

Yeah, that Chinese food drop had plenty of food, but once he had his share, Bill realized he couldn’t name half of it.  The fish, at least, was straightforward.

“So tell me about the refugees,” Sarah asked.  “Roger was with them?”

Bill sat up slowly, clutching the side of the couch for stability.  “Roger was there. He’s surprisingly okay. He brought about fifty people with them.  They said they’re from a FEMA camp - the conditions there were bad enough they took their chance on the road.  Roger led them straight here.” Bill made a face.

Sarah noticed.  “And why’s that wrong?”

“Because we don’t have the resources,” Bill said.  “I’ve seen what the town has and it isn’t enough.”

Sarah hmphed.  “Maybe we shouldn’t have handed out the stuff from the drop yet, then.”

“Hey now, the Jericho citizens needed that food.”

“Sounds like the refugees do, too,” Sarah snapped.

Bill collapsed back on the couch.  “I don’t want to argue, Sarah.”

“Fine,” she said bitterly.  “We won’t.”

They didn’t talk again until the next morning.  Sarah slept in the guest room.

~~~

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Sarah asked.

Bill stopped getting dressed.  “The ration handout. It’s my responsibility.”

“You’ll get everyone there sick,” Sarah pointed out.  “Back to bed.”

Bill refused.  “No. I have a job.  Other people will touch the food.  I just have to oversee it.”

“Fine, but if you start an epidemic, I warned you.”  Sarah threw up her hands in defeat and stalked out of the bedroom.

 

Ration handout was crazy.  Sarah had to admit. It _did_ need a deputy or two to oversee it, but it could have been anybody.  It didn’t have to be Bill.

She held her Tupperware containers close, waiting for her turn to get food.

“How much do you think is going to the refugees, you think?” she asked Joanna, in front of her in line.

“Hopefully enough.  I’d hate to see them getting less than we do.”

Sarah nodded, but thought for a moment, remembering what Bill said.  “I hope it doesn’t cut into the town supplies. I’d hate to see us have to make a choice.”

“And with Gray Anderson in charge, you know what that choice would be,” Joanna said, rolling her eyes.  “I swear he’d’ve run them all out already if he could.”

“Not all of them,” Sarah pointed out.  “Some of the people in the church are the ones who lost their houses in the south side fire.  They’re Jericho citizens.”

“Are you sure?” Joanna asked wryly.  “I don’t trust Gray to remember that.”

Sarah sighed.  She wasn’t sure she did either.  Hopefully Bill remembered and reined the mayor in.

 

Bill stumbled back in to an empty house.  He’d half been hoping Sarah was there - their conversation may not have been deep, but at least they talked while she took care of him.

He tried to go to bed, but the sheets were missing - a quick check in the garage showed they were hung up to dry, strung across the spot his SUV usually took.  That stayed outside now, ready to go in an emergency.

Benefit of being one of the top deputies and the mayor’s man: he got a fuel ration.  Sometimes he was tempted to use it for their generator, but the neighbors might notice and complain.  Best to keep those sorts of things secret.

Bill dug in the linen closet until he found another set of sheets and made the bed, piling on the blankets Sarah hadn’t washed yet.  Now he understood why she’d spent so long in bed. Lying down in the warmth was so nice.

He had to say something to her and make up for that comment.  He knew that was why she was mad, though she seemed to be more irritable lately than usual.  Maybe that was just the bipolar: she’d never been without medicines this long since he knew her.

Right now, though, she wasn’t there and he was tired.

 

Sarah stopped in the bedroom and held up the lamp.  Bill had managed to make the bed and crawl inside, hogging all the blankets.

She thought about waking him, but he really needed the sleep now.  And at least if he was sleeping, he wasn’t coughing. She knew how painful that could be.

Sarah sat on the bed next to Bill and brushed his hair back.  He was a little sweaty, hot with fever, and deep enough asleep he didn’t wake up at her touch.

“Bill, damn it,” she whispered.  “Why’d you work yourself to death?  I warned you. I told you you needed to be at home more.”

Bill mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep and drooled a little.

“Why can’t you think before you speak?  I know I’m not good enough, but you promised me you’d never tell me I was.  I know you’re sorry you said it, but I think you meant it.”

Sarah set the lantern down on the ground and laid down on the bed, curled up facing Bill.

“I love you, but we’ve got a lot of things to work through,” she whispered.

~~~

 

Bill coughed.  It felt like that was all he did lately.

Gray glanced at him.  “Try not to do that here.”

Bill nodded, rolling his eyes when Gray turned his back.  “Yes, sir,” he said, holding back another cough.

“What’s the status on rations?”

Bill pointed at the chalkboard.  “Right now, we’ll run out of rations by Christmas.  We’re going to have to cut them.”

Gray looked worried.  “That’s not going to go over well.”

Bill shook his head.  “No, it’s not, but neither is starvation.  I think we should start by cutting citizen’s rations by a fourth and refugee rations in half, unless they’re working.”

“Which is too few of them,” Gray commented darkly.

Bill nodded agreement.  Right now, there were over a hundred refugees in the Presbyterian Church and less than thirty of them were contributing to the town in any meaningful way.

“They’re taking up medicine, too.  We’re running low on basics such as aspirin because of those people,” Harry added.

“At some point, we’re going to have to make tough choices,” Gray said.

Neither Bill nor Harry said anything, though Bill knew Gray was right.

 

“You’re not supposed to be here!” Jimmy exclaimed when Bill walked into the sheriff’s department.

Bill held up his arms in surrender.  “I’m not here for long, man,” Bill said before stifling another coughing fit.

“Jeez, you’re gonna get everyone sick!”  Jimmy shooed Bill away from the counter.

“I’m just here to see Sarah,” Bill said.  “Wanted to actually talk to her. Haven’t much lately.”

Sarah appeared in the door of the records room.  “Thought I recognized that cough. You’re supposed to be at home.”

Bill snaked his way through the deputies’ desks and followed Sarah into the records room.  “Had a meeting with Gray about rationing.”

“And what’s the verdict?”

“We’re cutting rations.  Three quarters rations for citizens, half rations for refugees.”

Sarah made a face.  “Why cut them so much for the refugees?”

“They’re not citizens.  Most of them aren’t contributing to the town.  We’ve got to prioritize Jericho people first.”

“They’re people, too, you know,” Sarah shot back.  “You know, if they’d shown up before the bombs, you would have welcomed them with open arms.”

“We could have _fed_ them then!”

“I could be counted as a refugee, you realize.  I showed up seeking asylum from my life before. I just happened to get here early.  You cutting _my_ rations, too, Bill?”

Bill growled in frustration.  “No. You’re a citizen of Jericho and have been since you moved here.  These people just showed up.”

“It’s not that much different, Bill!  Just the timing!”

“Like I said, we could feed you!” Bill said, sorry he’d ever started this conversation.

“Think of the refugees like you would think of me, Bill.  What if I were out there, in another town? Do unto others, right?” Sarah said plaintively.

“I’ll do what I have to do,” Bill said sternly.  He got up to leave. “I love you, Sarah.”

“Yeah, I love you too,” muttered Sarah.  “Go home. Get some actual rest. Quit sneaking off to work.”

~~~

 

“We found Joe Binter dead in his house,” Jimmy said.  “You checking in on Bill’s parents? The temperature is brutal this winter.”

“I guess that’s why they call it nuclear winter,” Sarah joked lightly.  “I’m checking on them every day that I get out.”

“You feeling okay?” Jimmy asked.  “Don’t need you working yourself sick like Bill did.”

Sarah grinned at that.  Jimmy always watched out for people.  “I’m okay. I’m a little off-kilter and tired, but it’s been so constant, I’ve gotten used to it.  Besides, I have to get out of the house so I don’t marinate in Bill’s germs.”

Truth was, she was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to be asleep at home, but what she told Jimmy was true: last thing she needed to do was get sick, too.  Not to mention, she was so irritable lately and Bill could easily get on Sarah’s last nerves.

She sighed at the thought.  “Just point me where I can do the most good,” she told Jimmy.  “I’m here to help for a couple hours.”

 

Bill called Sarah’s name weakly when he heard the door open.  He felt so woozy and talking hurt.

He heard footsteps hurrying down the hall.  “Bill, you okay?” she asked.

Bill reached out for her, arm flopping on the bed.  “Feel bad,” he croaked. “Fix it.”

Sarah grabbed his hand, her leather gloves smooth and cool against his skin.  “Babe, I can’t fix it.”

“Hurts.”

Sarah smiled softly, backlit by the dimming afternoon light.  Bill thought she looked like an angel. “I’ll look and see if we have any leftover meds that might help.”

Bill rolled onto his side and coughed.  Oh, that hurt so much. Where was Sarah?

She showed back up with a steaming mug a few minutes later.  “Sit up babe. This is chamomile tea. I know it’s not your favorite, but it’ll help your throat and your chest.”

“You made tea?” he asked, wiggling his way to a seated position.

Sarah handed him the mug and sat on the bed next to him.  “Sure, it used some of our fuel and potable water, but it’ll help.  All I could find in the medicine cabinet was Benadryl. That won’t do you much good.”

“Make me sleep,” Bill said, warming his hands on the mug.

“You’re getting pretty good at that without help,” Sarah pointed out.  She resituated them so that Bill was leaning back against her. She placed her hands on his forehead and oh, they felt so cool.  He sipped at the tea, almost too hot still, but Sarah was right: it soothed his throat.

“News in town is that hunting’s getting harder,” Sarah said.  “Your dad said he has to hike to the far stations to find anything.  He’s one of the few who’s brought meat back.  Rabbits mostly.  I’m worried for his health, though.”

“What else?” Bill asked, a little less hoarsely.

“Jake took a group to Black Jack Fairgrounds up in Nebraska the other day, right?  They traded for some stuff at the store, but mostly they brought back news. The country’s broken up into six sections, with six different presidents.  Things are wild on the interstates and some are impassable. We’re in a pretty charmed area, though. Things in our area are pretty safe.” As she spoke, Sarah ran her hands through Bill’s hair, pulling it back from his face while he drank.

“Mm-hmm,” Bill mumbled.  “Sarah?”

“Yes, hon?”  

“Stay in here tonight.  Sleep with me again.”

“Oh, Bill,” Sarah said, stopping all motion with her hands.  “I would, but I can’t afford to get sick. I need to sleep in the guest bedroom until you get better.”

Bill whined.  “Want you back,” he said.  “Miss you.” He missed her warmth in bed and in her smile and in her look.  How long until things got back to normal?

Sarah patted him on the arm.  “We’ll get there.”

~~~

 

Bill stared at the blackboard, numbers and figures swimming in his vision.  He’d actually driven today because he didn’t think he’d make it walking. He was starting to miss cell phones - he’d like to call Sarah to come drive him home.

Maybe she could look at these figures while she was at it.  No matter how he looked at it, they were going to run out of food and firewood and fuel before the end of winter - certainly they weren’t going to last until spring harvest.  

Every time he looked at that blackboard, Bill inched closer and closer to saying they needed to kick the refugees out.  Send them to a FEMA camp where they belonged.

Even if they did that, it was going to be hard to feed Sarah.  To feed his parents. They already had to pool rations, he knew.  Sarah hadn’t told him yet, either, but he also knew his dad wasn’t doing well, though he still insisted on going hunting for the four of them when he could.

That’s what Dads did, right?  Bill knew he couldn’t talk his Dad out of any of it.

“See anything new, Bill?”

“Cut rations again?  Two thirds rations for citizens?  Keep the half rations for the refugees for now.  But I think we’re going to need another solution soon.”

“Maybe we can get the refugees to go hunting for us?” Harry Carmichael suggested.  “Earn their keep that way?”

Gray thought about that.  “Could be worth seeing if any of them know anything about hunting.  Or firewood collecting. I’ll have Jimmy check on it for us.”

~~~

 

“You know Bill’s an idiot sometime,” Jimmy said.  “Now, while you have him trapped is when you need to talk to him about what was said - what you _both_ said,” he added pointedly.

Sarah frowned.  “I don’t want to take advantage of Bill while he’s sick.  If we talk about this, it needs to be when he’s completely himself.”

“He wasn’t feeling well, you know that.  You say stupid things when you’re sick.”

Sarah pointed a pencil at Jimmy.  “Exactly. That’s why I want to wait until he’s better.”

“But…”  Jimmy lowered his voice.  “What if it takes a long time for him to get better?  What if he doesn’t get better? I don’t want to think it, but without medication…”

Sarah paused.  Jimmy had a point, but she didn’t want to admit it.  “I’ll think about it.”

“Do it.  Margaret agrees with me.”

Sarah laughed.  “Oh, well, if Margaret says so-”

Things started rattling in the sheriff’s department.  Sarah looked up at Jimmy. “Earthquake?” she asked.

“Not likely,” Jimmy replied.  “Hear that rumble outside?”

They followed the crowd out onto the steps of Town Hall just in time to hear the pronouncement:  “Sir. We’re the United States Marines and we’re here to help.”

Sarah crowded in, trying to listen to the news.  She could barely hear it, but all of it was good.  Whatever war there was been was over? One President, one capital?  Getting Jericho back on grid?

This was fantastic!  Her instinct was to run home and tell Bill.  But he was asleep. And… she only halfway wanted to talk to him anyway.

Then again, he’d kill her if he missed an actual tank rolling down Main Street.

“Jimmy!  Send a deputy to get Bill!  He needs to see this!” Sarah shouted over the crowd’s cheers.

Jimmy nodded and grabbed the nearest new deputy.

Sarah watched the crowd, heart aching slightly, as they broke out into kisses and cheers.

Ooh.  Bonnie and that Sean Henthorn kid.  That was new, as far as she’d heard.

She wormed her way over to Mimi and Stanley and pointed over to Bonnie questioningly.  

Stanley shook his head, suddenly angry.  

“She’s a _teenager_ ,” Mimi said, rolling her eyes.  “This stuff happens.”

“Yeah but not with Sean Henthorn,” grumbled Stanley.

“Look, we’re going to Bailey’s,” said Mimi.  “You coming?”

Sarah thought about waiting for Bill, but decided against it.  “I’m coming.”

 

Bill stood in the square in awe.  He hadn’t been this close to a tank except in a museum with his grandfather.  “Wow.”

Jimmy came up behind him.  “Right?”

“Jimmy!  Good to see you,” Bill said, hoarsely.  Talking made him cough and Jimmy patted him on the back, trying to help.

“Bill, you shouldn’t be out here.”

“You’re the one who sent for me,” Bill pointed out, wrapping his long coat tighter around his layered pajamas.  

Snow swirled around them and both men watched their breath form in front of them.  

“Bill, you know, I’ve been talking to Sarah.”

Bill smiled sadly.  “At least she’s talking to you.”

“She told me what you both said.  You need to apologize.”

“I’d like to, but I haven’t had the chance,” Bill said, in between coughs.  “I’m either too sick or she’s not there.”

“Well, she’s not going to initiate it while you’re sick.  So it’s up to you. Remember, marriage is a lot of communication.”

Bill looked at Jimmy.  “Are you giving me marriage advice, Jimmy Taylor?”

“I am.  Communication and respect.”

“I _know_ that.”

Jimmy looked at him sharply.  “Apparently you didn’t think about it before you talked.”

“I was tired and sick!  I wasn’t thinking straight!”

“Bill, you better figure out _how_ to think straight and how you really feel about Sarah being off medications.  Because you promised her better than this when you got married.”

Bill sighed.  Jimmy was right.  He needed to get things set right as soon as possible.

 

Sarah sat in Bailey’s, sipping the moonshine Mary handed out.  It was too harsh to really enjoy, but it was the only thing on tap.  What she wouldn’t give for some lemonade to mix it with. Or maybe some tea…

“So how’s Bill?” Stanley yelled above the crowd.

“Still sick, but I sent a deputy to fetch him to see the Marines.  He’d kill me if he missed this - tanks on Main Street!”

Stanley laughed, taking a sip of moonshine.  “I’ll have to go find him!”

“You do that!” Sarah said.  She glanced at her drink and poured the rest in Stanley’s glass.  “I’m gonna head back to the station and see what they’re up to.”

“You’re there enough you oughtta be a deputy,” Stanley said, beginning to stumble over his words after another sip.  

“Well, someone has to keep the place straight,” Sarah joked.  “I just work behind the scenes and keep things running smoothly.  That’s what I do best.”

Stanley raised his glass.  “Cheers to you!”

Sarah patted his shoulder and kissed his cheek as she left.  She missed hanging out with Stanley and Bonnie every week. The bombs made it feel like they lived hundreds of miles away.

 

Sarah snuck through the crowd, not looking for Bill.

He saw her though.

“Should I go catch her?” he asked Jimmy.

“Dunno if this is a good time,” Jimmy said.  “There are Marines in the station right now.”

“Surely they won’t be into everything,” Bill said.  “I’m going.”

His determined exit was marred only by a coughing fit that nearly brought him to his knees.

Jimmy came and helped him up.  “You sure you’re up to this?”

“I’m sure I have to be,” Bill said.

“Do you know what you’re going to say?”

Bill stopped.  “No.”

Jimmy shook his head.  “You’re not ready, then.  Go home, sleep on it. Talk to her tomorrow.  I’ll talk to her today.”

 

“You know you need to talk to him.”

“Jimmy, I am not having this conversation again,” Sarah said, pacing Main Street in the dark, watching the tank and the Marines getting ready to leave.

“But-”

“No ‘buts’, Jimmy.  I don’t care if you did talk to him while you were here!”

“Jimmy!”  Stanley came hobbling up, still favoring the leg that had been hurt the other day.  “Jake wants us to patrol the edges of town.”

“What’s going on?” Sarah asked, sticking her nose in Ranger business.

Stanley looked like he might not answer for a second, but shrugged and talked anyway.  “He thinks there’s a chance we’re being tricked and they aren’t real Marines. If we find someone hiding on the edge of town with a radio, we’ll know we’re being tricked.”

“How many folks you think we’ll need?” Jimmy asked.

“Eight.  We’ll work in quadrants.  Just…,” Stanley paused. “Keep it to the people who know discretion.”

“Does that count you, Stanley?”  Jimmy joked.

All three of them laughed.

“Okay, I’ll get out of you boys’ way.  Go find that guy. Or don’t. I hope this is real,” Sarah said.

 

Of course, it couldn’t be real.

Bonnie broke the news when she and Mimi stopped by the house that night on her way home.  The good news was that she brought leftovers from the meal they’d served the “Marines.”

Bill happily scarfed down the cold food while he processed it all.  “So… you guys have a tank now?” he asked, stuck on that single point.

“The mayor showed Stanley how to drive it and he’s headed home with it right now,” Mimi explained.

“A tank.  That actual tank that was in town square?”

“Yes, Bill!” said Bonnie, exasperated.

“Oh, I gotta come over and see this.”  Bill was genuinely excited for the first time in weeks.  “I need a ride in it.”

“You have to feel better first,” Sarah reminded him from across the room.

Party pooper.  See if _he_ let her ride in the tank.

“Mr. Green said we’re supposed to keep it secret,” Bonnie said, looking at them both.

“I will find a way,” Bill insisted.

“Ooooh-kay, tank guy,” Sarah said, clapping her hands together.  “Ladies, I hate to be rude, but it’s my husband’s bedtime. If I want him to get better, that is.”

Bill waved goodbye to Bonnie and Mimi, not wanting to give either of them his germs.  He leaned back on the couch while Sarah saw them out.

A tank.  A real tank at Stanley’s.  

He _had_ to learn how to drive that thing.  After all, he was one of the lead Rangers, right?  Never know when you might need a tank.

~~~

 

Sarah caught Bill trying to get dressed and sneak out just after sunrise.  She’d slept in the living room _just_ so she could catch him doing this very thing.

“You can’t go to Stanley’s,” she said sternly.

Bill looked defiant, or as defiant as you can when you’re still coughing.

“The cold’s going to irritate your lungs.  You can’t walk that far. And you better not spend your gas rations on this - not when you keep telling me how short we are on gas!”

Bill stopped.  “I’m taking my horse.”

“’Your’ horse?  Slipper belongs to the Perkins’,” Sarah laughed.  “And the dust on a horse will definitely irritate your lungs.”

“I’ll stop by the clinic and get a mask.”

Sarah put her hands on her hips.  “Well, you’ve just thought of everything, haven’t you?  Don’t let me stand in your way, then.” She grabbed her coat and stalked out of the house.

 

The clinic had no masks to spare, much to Bill’s dismay, because Sarah turned out to be right about the dust.  There was dust Slipper kicked up, dust from his fur, and hairs that kept blowing into his face. He was coughing harder than he ever had.  

At least his ribs felt healed by now.  It was about time.

He posted, keeping the little horse in a trot on the roads out to Stanley’s.  He’d go faster, but he didn’t want to hurt Slipper’s feet or run the risk of discovering a hidden pothole.  No, a trot was jostling, but a much better pace.

He went straight to the farm without stopping by the house - and he guessed right.  Stanley was standing outside the big barn, staring inside in awe.

Bill stared too.  There was the tank.

“Hey, Stanley,” Bill greeted.

“Hey, Bill.”

“Let’s take her out.”

Stanley didn’t need to be talked into it.  “Okay.”

Bill tied Slipper up by a trough and came back.  Without a word, both men climbed up on the tank. Stanley opened the lower hatch.  “I’ve got this one. I know how to drive.”

Bill clambered up to the second hatch, the gunnery hatch.  He squeezed himself into it fully, impressed by how small it was.  He wasn’t a large man and he still felt crowded. There was enough room he could look around, though.

The tank rumbled to life.  Bill stood, head popping out of the tank.  He grinned widely as Stanley took them on a loop through the farm.  Halfway through, he slid back inside the hatch and started pushing buttons.  

 _Thunk_.  That one was a dry fire.  He hoped he hadn’t messed up the firing mechanism.  

 _Whirrrrrrrr._  That joystick rotated the cockpit he was in.  Another one aimed the mortar cannon.

Damn, this was fun.

 

Bill was humming happily when he got home, dirty and dusty and exhausted.  His cough was relentless and his fever was back, but it was worth it. Bill was thrilled.

Sarah was not.

“I told you not to go.”  She stared at him.

“I had to go see,” Bill said plaintively.  “You know I did.”

Sarah huffed.  “Get cleaned up while I make dinner.  Water’s hot in the fireplace.”

Bill sighed as she went into the kitchen.  He was so tired of this back-and-forth. Surely Sarah was, too.

Bill grabbed clean pajamas, his washcloth, and a bar soap that had been sitting around for years.  He quickly took a sponge bath in the living room, standing on a towel and dressing as he went. He moved the wash tub to the side, close enough to keep it warm if Sarah still needed to bathe.

Sarah came in with two bowls of rabbit bone broth and potatoes.  “You done?” she asked shortly.

“I am.”  Bill took a bowl from Sarah, carefully finding a dry spot on the floor near the fire.  

Sarah mirrored him, but didn’t catch his eye.

“Sarah.  Darlin’,” Bill said, trying to get her attention.

Slowly she looked up at him.

“We need to talk,” he said.  “And the first thing that needs to happen is that I need to apologize.  I said some harsh things and you’re right to be mad at me.”

“You meant what you said,” Sarah replied, taking a sip from her bowl.

“At the time, I did,” Bill admitted.  He coughed, and cursed himself for breaking up the conversation.  “I don’t anymore.”

“Doesn’t matter.  You were right. I’m a burden to you and this town.  I should be more supportive of you.” Sarah looked like she had tears in her eyes, but Bill couldn’t be sure in the firelight.

“No!”  Bill set his bowl down.  “Sarah, you know anxiety.  You know it can make you irritable and cranky when things get bad.  That’s what happened. That was my anxiety talking.”

“Still meant it.”

“I’m sorry I said those things,” Bill repeated.  “I don’t believe them. I know you’re doing the best you can and you’ve been amazing while I’m sick.  You’ve dipped into your own stash and kept me going on teas to soothe my throat. You’ve had cold washcloths when the fever gets too high.  You’ve kept me informed about what’s going on in town. You’ve been wonderful. I wouldn’t be getting better if it weren’t for you.”

“Are you getting better, though?”  Sarah asked.

“Except for today’s riding excursion, I’m coughing less.  My fever is lower. I’d say that’s getting better.”

Sarah sighed and looked away from Bill.  “You really hurt my feelings, you know. You hit exactly on most of my insecurity points: you did everything but call me fat.”

“I know,” Bill said sadly.  “I shouldn’t have said any of that.  I love you just how you are, bipolar and all.  In sickness and in health,” Bill said, repeating their vows.  “I mean it.”

Sarah took a sip of her broth, contemplating Bill’s apology.

“Look, it was a fight,” Bill said, “but I’m not trying to win here.  I just want my wife back. The one I married, medicated or no.”

Sarah took a deep breath.  “I’m still hurt. But I’ll forgive you.  This time.”

Bill felt like all the tension in his body had been released at once.  “I love you,” he said earnestly.

“I love you, too.  I’m just learning to like you again.”

~~~

 

Sarah felt off.  She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something was wrong.  She’d had cramps but no period, she’d had bloating and gas, and she was headachy whenever she smelled a strong scent.  Right now, _every_ scent was strong.

She did the responsible thing and went to the clinic, even though the sun had already set.  They’d just tell her she was malnourished, but it’d make her feel better to check.

Sarah got there just in time to see Dr. Green fall down.

 

Bill decided today was going to be his first day back at work.  It would be a calm day, he thought.

He was right, until Johnston Green came in with a vengeance.  “Where’s Eric?” he asked.

Bill shrugged.  “Haven’t seen him.”

“You need to go find him, Bill.  Something’s wrong with April and the baby at the clinic.  He needs to be there.”

Bill nodded.  He hadn’t planned on leaving the station today, but that sounded important.  He tapped a couple of the men who were also Rangers and sent them out to the east and north.  He grabbed the keys to his SUV and headed west.

He didn’t know what was wrong with April, but he hoped she was okay.  He couldn’t imagine something happening to her and the baby.

 

“You O Negative?” Jake asked Sarah quickly.

“No, sorry.  A positive,” Sarah responded.

Jake waved her off and kept going down the hall, asking everyone he saw about their blood type.

“Mrs. Koehler?” asked a nurse soon after.

“Huh?  Sarah turned, distracted by all the action going on in April’s room.

“If you don’t mind seeing one of the nurses, we’ve got an exam room open.”

“Oh.  Yeah. That’s fine.”  All the doctors in town were dealing with April.

Sarah followed the nurse and sat on the exam table, swinging her legs while she waited.  She hadn’t heard much, but it looked bad in April’s room. If they were asking for blood, obviously they were about to operate.

Jeez.  The Clinic wasn’t an operating facility in its best days.  It did well enough to deal with urgent care situations, births, and routine checkups and testing.  There wasn’t even an ICU here. Sarah couldn’t imagine trying to be a doctor or nurse in these circumstances.

The door opened and a woman about Sarah’s age came in.  “Hi, I’m Becca and I’m a nurse practitioner. If it’s okay, I’m going to give you an exam and we’ll figure out what’s wrong.”  

Sarah ran down her list of symptoms and Becca nodded after each one.  “So how long has this lasted?”

“A couple of weeks for some of it, like being tired.  The smell thing is just the past few days, though.”

“And when was your last period?”

Sarah had to stop and think.  “Mid-October. I skip easily when I’m stressed.”  That was such a routine question; she should have thought and prepped for it.

Becca nodded.  “I think I know what’s going on.  Hold on.”

The nurse left the room for about ten minutes, leaving Sarah hanging.  What did Becca think was wrong with her?

Becca returned with a little white package.  “Here. I want you to go to the bathroom and use this.  Just to check.”

Sarah peeled apart the wrapping and goggled.  It was a pregnancy test.

 

Bill was out on the woods road for hours, looking for signs of Eric.  _Someone_ had recently come this way, judging by tire tracks in the dirt.

He bumped along the trail-like road, keeping an eye out for any game stupid enough to not run from his SUV, until he saw Eric’s truck in the distance.

Bill pulled up by Eric and Mary - collecting firewood, it turned out - and rolled down his window.

“Hey Bill!” Eric grinned, but must have seen something on Bill’s face.  “What’s wrong?”

Bill took a deep breath.  “It’s April. There’s something wrong with the baby.  They need you at the clinic _now_.”

Mary grabbed the firewood in Eric’s arms.  “Go. You should be there.”

Eric nodded and hopped in Bill’s car.

Bill gave the SUV’s shocks a beating on the drive back, but he got them there in an hour and a half.

 

Bill hung around the clinic, in the background, waiting to see how things turned out for April.

It didn’t look good.  By the time Eric and Bill got there, with Mary on their heels, they were prepping April for surgery.

Jake, Johnston, and Mary paced the hallway.  Bill watched them, feeling his own anxiety rise.  How glad he was that Sarah wasn’t the woman in that room.  What would he do if something happened to her?

Hours passed.  Eric came out for a while and told them the baby died.  Dr. Dhuwalia - the drunk who hung out at Bailey’s every day - stormed out of the room, followed by Eric and Jake.  Bill almost hopped up and followed them, but he was getting tired. It’d been a long day and it wasn’t even _his_ loved one in surgery.

April didn’t make it.

Bill couldn’t believe it.  All he could imagine was Sarah being in that position and losing her.

He had to get home and see her now.

 

Bill called Sarah’s name as soon as he got in the house.

She was in their office room, looking at a scrapbook and crying.

“Hey, what’s the problem?” Bill asked, swooping in beside her and wrapping her in a hug.

“Just… just miss my parents, I guess.  I want to talk to them, but I can’t,” Sarah said.  “I don’t even know if they’re alive.” She leaned against Bill and sobbed for a little bit.

Bill rubbed her back while he held her.  He tried to be stoic, but all he could see was the look of defeat on Eric’s face after April died.  Bill pulled back.

“You need to know what happened today,” he said, brushing her hair away from her face.  “April Green died. Something went wrong with the baby and they lost them both.”

Bill pulled her close again.  “I was just so glad it wasn’t you in there.  I don’t know what I’d do if something like that happened to you.”

Sarah pushed Bill away, a look of horror on her face.  “Bill, that _could_ be me.  I’m pregnant.”

  



	7. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Covers time between episodes 16 & 17 - new discoveries mean more complications, but it's Christmas!

**December 13 th – December 25th**

“You’re what now?” Bill asked incredulously.

“I’m pregnant,” Sarah repeated.  “Found out today.”

“Wha–?  How?”  Bill boggled.

“The usual way, I suppose,” Sarah snapped, a little bit irritable.  Her mood was swinging all over the place: one second she was angry, the next upset, and then she was scared.  She didn’t know _how_ to feel in the first place and then Bill brought in this bad news about April Green…

“I was there when April collapsed.  I heard them say it was the baby.  I couldn’t bring myself to stay after the nurse told me I was pregnant.”  Sarah felt a chill down her back.  What if that was her in a few months?  What if something ended up being wrong with the baby?  What if they were still living like this when it was time for the baby to be born?

Oh dear God, there was going to be a baby.

She looked to Bill for comfort, but it seemed like he was going through the same rush of emotions she was.

“Hey,” she said, touching his arm.  “We _were_ trying before, right?  So maybe this is still a good thing?”

Bill looked at her hand in horror.  “Don’t touch me!  I’ll get you sick!”

Sarah pulled her hand back, realizing he was right.  What if she’d put herself or the baby in danger taking care of him the last two weeks?  “You’re getting better, though, right?”

“Yeah.  But I can’t be sure I’m not contagious.”

“I’d tell you to go check in with the clinic again, but I think they’re going to be busy making up for…”  Sarah paused, steadying herself.  “For April.”

Bill nodded solemnly.  “But I should go sometime.”

“Yeah.  Get a clean bill of health when that fever goes away.”

“Sarah?” Bill asked suddenly.  “How far along are you?”

“It’s just a guess, but I think about six weeks,” Sarah said.  “They didn’t do an ultrasound or anything on me today to check.”

“Oh.”  Sarah could tell Bill was doing mental math.  “July, then?”

“End of it.  A summer baby for sure.”

“Oh.  Okay.”  Bill leaned back, looking overwhelmed.

“Hey.”  Sarah reached out and tapped Bill on the chin.  “We’re going to have to get on the same page again.  I may have more trouble than most the next seven months.  We knew I’d have to go off some of my meds if I got pregnant, so this isn’t something new.  But I’m going to need your help, okay?”

Bill looked at her, wide-eyed.  “Of course.  I’ll be here for you.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Sarah said sternly.

~~~

 

“Bill!”  Sarah wandered through the house.  They’d walked home together after April’s funeral, so she knew he was here.  If only she could find him…

Aha!  The attic ladder was down in the garage.  “Bill?” she called again, leaning on the ladder.

There was shuffling and Bill looked down through the opening.  Sarah had to blink and turn away from the bright light of his headlamp.  “Perfect timing!  Can you help me with this box?”

She gave Bill a quizzical look but took a few steps up the ladder.  Bill handed down a large red plastic bin.  “The… Christmas decorations?”

“Exactly!”  Bill passed down a couple more plastic bins and a large cardboard box while Sarah stacked them behind her.  He clambered down the ladder and folded it up into the ceiling, switching the headlamp off.  “It’s the fifteenth.  Long past time we should have decorated.”

“Babe?  Do you really think we need to worry about decorating this year?  I mean, with everything that’s happened?”  Sarah waved a hand around, indicating all of Jericho around them.

Bill sighed.  “I think we need to.  _Especially_ because of what all has happened.”  His face fell and he looked at Sarah.  “First there were the bombs.  Then my coworkers.  Gracie.  Stanley being gone ‘til spring.  Burying April and the baby today.  And then we find out _you’re_ pregnant, too?  I just… need something normal and good.”

Sarah almost called him out: was their baby not good?  But she got it.  It was nerve-wracking right now.  Neither of them had wrapped their minds around it yet. 

Today, right after they buried April, wasn’t the day to deal with it, though.  Sarah gathered Bill up in her arms, hoping he wouldn’t protest.

He didn’t.  Bill buried his face in her neck while she rubbed his back.  Sarah felt a flash of guilt – she’d been so caught up in her own turmoil at the funeral that she hadn’t noticed Bill was teetering on the edge of a panic attack.  What kind of wife was she?

Sarah pulled Bill in tighter and he squeezed her close.  “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.  Or this baby,” Bill said, placing a hand on her stomach.

Sarah laughed and moved his hand further down her abdomen.  “You’ve said that.  And try here.”

“I know I’ve said it.  I need you to believe it.”

Sarah smiled lightly.  “You’re making me believe it.”

 

Together, they hung the ornaments and tinsel, Sadie barking at their feet.  They left a bare strip on the bottom of the tree so Sadie wouldn’t eat anything to make her sick.

“Aren’t you glad I talked you into that fake tree last year?” Sarah asked.

“It’s not the same, but it’s better than nothing,” Bill admitted.

Sarah tossed an ornament at him.  “It’s a lot better than nothing and you know it.”

Bill laughed.  “Okay, you’re right.  And you were right about the fake tree.”

Sarah stood back by the fireplace and admired their work.  “Come here and see, babe,” she said, reaching out for Bill.

He stood next to her, one step away so that he wasn’t touching her – he was back to worrying about getting her sick.

“Doesn’t it look like Christmas?” Sarah asked.

“It’s starting to.”  Bill went back to the storage bins and pulled out the window wreaths.  “I’m going to put these up.  You stay inside where it’s warmer.”

~~~

 

Sarah poured water from the JetBoil into two mugs and took a deep sniff of hers.  “Ahh, powdered hot chocolate,” she said, stirring both with a fork.  “One of life’s delicacies.”

Bill snorted from the couch, where he sat wrapped up in blankets, willing away the last of his fever.  “Sad thing is, it’s going to be delicious after so long without the real stuff.”  It’d be nice if they had milk to stir in…

Wait.  If Sarah was pregnant, she was eligible for a milk ration, along with kids and older folk.  He’d have to sign them up for it.  That would involve telling Gray and Harry about the pregnancy, though, and they hadn’t even told his parents yet.

“Hey, when are we going to tell people about the baby?” he asked, taking his mug carefully from Sarah.

“Well,” Sarah mused.  “Traditionally you wait until three months or the second trimester.  We’ve got a month to make sure the baby stays okay.”

“Stays okay?” Bill asked.  That sounded worrisome.

“To make sure I don’t have a miscarriage,” Sarah clarified.

Bill didn’t want to think about that.  Three days and he was already attached to the idea of the baby.  “I think we need to be telling people now,” Bill argued.  “We may need all the help we can get.”

“What sort of help are you thinking?”

“I don’t know.  But I’d rather our friends know.  And my parents would love to know early.”

Sarah smiled, settling in at Bill’s feet with her hot chocolate.  “I just worry that as soon as we tell your parents, they’ll give us all their rations and starve to death because they’re so excited.”

Bill chuckled.  “They might.  You might have to agree to see them every day so they can talk to their first grandchild in the womb.”

“They’re going to figure out how to play Mozart to the baby and have me doing yoga and all the trendy things.”  Sarah grinned.  “At least they don’t have the internet anymore to give them ideas.”

Bill thought a moment.  “Speaking of the internet, didn’t you order baby books back when we first started trying?”

Sarah’s face lit up and she scrambled off.  She came back in a minute carrying an Amazon box.  “I’d forgotten about them,” she said.

“We’ll have to read them.”  Maybe memorize them, Bill thought.  What if there was no one at the clinic to help Sarah give birth?  What if it was all on him?

No.  He couldn’t think like that.  He had to be the strong one.  If Sarah was going to go through this without her medications, he’d support her.  He wasn’t going to let this pregnancy beat them both down.

Bill looked Sarah in the eye.  “We’ll read them.  And then we’ll be ready for anything this baby can throw at us.”

“Anything?”  Sarah bit her lip.  “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.  This baby will be fine and so will you.”

“You mean that or are you just saying it?” Sarah asked, suspiciously.

“I mean it,” Bill said, more surely than he felt.  “And one more thing I know is that this baby is going to be loved.”

“Oh, Bill.”  Sarah sat on the couch and very carefully took his mug from him and set it on the ground.  “You know exactly what I needed to hear.”

She kissed him gently.  The first kiss in three weeks, since he messed up and yelled at her.  Bill craned his neck to catch her lips, his hands busy holding her on the couch.  He leaned his forehead against hers, aching for this sort of intimacy again.

“It’s what I needed to hear, too,” Bill admitted.  “But that doesn’t make it any less true.”

~~~

 

Bill shivered as he left Dale’s market.  The kid was charging nearly an arm and a leg, but he’d managed to trade off some spare food rations for an extra bushel of firewood next week – hopefully enough that they’d be able to have a fire Christmas morning.

He’d have to remember to have a word with Mayor Anderson, though.  Dale wasn’t quite price gouging, but it wouldn’t take much for him to reach that point.  Last thing Jericho needed was even more limited access to supplies.

Bill set off walking across town, yet again missing the days when he could do patrol in his warm, dry car with Jimmy.

Of course, there were a few benefits to being on foot, such as running into his wife on the sidewalk downtown.

Sarah smiled and kissed his cheek as they met, but Bill could see she was stressed.  “You okay?”

She kept her hands shoved in her jacket pockets – smart, considering the snow swirling about them – and shrugged.  “I went for my first appointment at the clinic and it was pretty… thorough.  I got poked and prodded in all the wrong places.”

Bill frowned, concerned.  “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Sarah said, though the smile she gave didn’t quite reach her eyes.  “They broke out an ancient machine and did an ultrasound to confirm it.  I really am pregnant.”

“But…?” prompted Bill.

Sarah shook her head.  “I’m just worried all over again.  I wish I could tell my parents.  I wish we had communication again.  I wish the world was back to normal.”

“Hey, it’ll be okay.  We’ll make it.  The baby will make it.”  

Sarah nodded, a small smile breaking out on her face.  “Hey, I was thinking.  Let’s invite your parents over for dinner tonight.  Maybe Jimmy and Margaret too.  We’ll tell them all at once.”

“That still leaves out Stanley and Bonnie,” Bill pointed out.

“Well, Stanley’s not here and Bonnie probably doesn’t want to spend the evening with us,” Sarah said.  “You can ride out there and tell her yourself.”

Bill looked back towards Town Hall.  “I could get off now and we could go together.”

Sarah made a face.  “I think the bouncing of a horse would just set my stomach off,” she admitted.

“So let’s drive,” Bill said.  “Just the once, we can get away with it.  I’ve got a gun one of the Rangers borrowed from Stanley that needs to be returned anyhow, so we can say it’s official business.”

Sarah grinned.  “I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into wasting gasoline.”

“It’s not a waste.  It’s taking care of you.”

 

Bill drove up the road to the ranch house carefully, avoiding the potholes in the dirt road Stanley hadn’t been able to fix.  Last thing he wanted was to jostle Sarah and make her sick.

No, take that back.  Last thing he wanted was to see Bonnie on the porch, making out with Sean Henthorn.

 _Sean Henthorn._   He was trouble in the making.  No parents to speak of, he’d been arrested on many occasions as a juvenile.  He’d even tried to get in with Jonah’s gang.

No, Sean didn’t need to be anywhere near Bonnie.

Sarah laid a hand on his arm as he let the engine idle.  “Don’t blow a gasket.  This isn’t new.”

“What?!” Bill exploded.  “It needs to end now!”

“Stanley knows about it, Bill.  It’s a teenage phase.  Don’t push her on it.”

Bill turned off the SUV roughly, yanking the keys out of the slot.  “She should know better!”

“Bill,” Sarah said simply, and Bill knew he’d better quit.  He breathed slowly until he thought his face wasn’t red anymore.

“Whoa,” Sean said when he saw Bill getting out of the car, “po-po is here.”

Bonnie rolled her eyes and ran out to greet Bill and Sarah with hugs.  She immediately started signing at Bill, fussing at him for not visiting more.

“Sorry,” he said aloud for Sarah’s benefit, signing as he did so.  He pointed at Sean, waiting back on the porch.  “When did this happen?”

“Sean moved in after Stanley left.  He’s going to help with the farm.”

Bill scoffed and Bonnie looked offended.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said again, quickly.  He hadn’t come out here to get into an argument with Bonnie.  “I, uh, we wanted to tell you…”  Bill glanced at Sarah for support.

She stepped forward to catch Bonnie’s attention.  “Bonnie, I’m going to have a baby,” Sarah said simply.

Bonnie looked shocked for a moment, then clapped her hands happily.  “Congratulations!”

Sarah looked down for a second and Bill thought she might be embarrassed at the attention.  _Thank you_ , she signed.

Bill looked at Sarah and Bonnie for a minute before blurting out what’d been on his mind.  “Bonnie,” he said, signing too, “would you be our baby’s godmother?  I can’t think of anyone better than you.”

Bonnie jumped up and down on the balls of her feet, nodding excitedly.

She was too distracted to notice the stunned look Sarah gave him.

 

Sarah stared at Bill until they were halfway home.  “What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know.  It just hit me and I said it.”

“You didn’t plan that?”

“I swear I didn’t,” Bill held up three fingers in the Scout salute.

“Good, because if you’d _planned_ on cutting me out of the godparent decision…”  Sarah huffed.  “Bill, she’s a _kid_.”

“She’ll be eighteen when the baby is born,” Bill pointed out.  “She’s good with kids and has a good head on her shoulders.  Well, except for Sean Henthorn.”

Sarah sighed and shook her head.  “Okay, fine.  I won’t make you take that back.  But this means I get full control over who the godfather is.  Even if I pick someone you hate.”

Bill didn’t sound too worried.  “Okay.”

Sarah wished her threat had bothered Bill more, but he knew she’d pick someone safe.  And they had plenty of time – the baby was smaller than a walnut at the moment.

 

“You’ve got that look.”

“Hm?”  Sarah glanced over at Margaret, who was industriously shelling corn and looking at Sarah with an amused expression.

Margaret laughed.  “See, Darcy?  What I’d tell you?  She’s not even paying attention.”

“Wait, what’d I miss here?”  Sarah took a moment to look at the other women gathered around her coffee table, helping her prep the meal.  They were no help: Darcy Hawkins just shook her head and kept dicing potatoes and Pam was regarding her with an indulgent smile.

Margaret gestured with her knife.  “You.  You’re in la-la land watching Bill.”

Well, Sarah couldn’t really argue that.  Bill, his father Hank, and Jimmy were waging a snowball fight in the backyard against the four kids.  She’d been trying to keep score remotely; Allison and Woody had surprisingly good throwing arms and might actually tip the tide in favor of the kids.

“So?” she protested.  “What does that have to do with how I look?”

“You _are_ watching your husband rather closely,” commented Darcy mildly.

“Oh, the watching’s nothing new.  I swear those two are always mooning after each other like damn newlyweds,” said Margaret.  “No, you’ve got a certain expression while you stare.  You two are thinking kids, aren’t you?”

Sarah blushed and looked down, which just made the group laugh.

“That’s a yes.  And about time, too.  Bet you’re ready for grandkids, aren’t you, Pam?”  Margaret elbowed the other woman.

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t complain.”

Sarah knew she wasn’t going to get support from her mother-in-law.  But she’d brought her friends here to tell them about the pregnancy.  Was this the time to tell them?

Sarah dumped her slices of rabbit meat into the Dutch over sitting in the middle of the table and sighed.

“What’s that sigh about?” Margaret asked, pointing at Sarah with her knife.

“It’s just that…” she let herself trail off thoughtfully.  “We _were_ trying.  Before the bombs.”

“Mmhmm.  And now?”

“Well, we quit trying after that.”  Sarah said.  “It didn’t seem right to _keep_ trying.”

Pam watched her closely.  “And?”

Time to go for broke.  “And I got pregnant anyway,” she said softly.

Margaret threw her hands up in a cheer.  “I knew it!”

Sarah looked straight at Pam, who smiled as she explained, “We found out a few days ago.  I’m about six weeks along right now.”

Darcy made a face.  “Just in time for morning sickness.”

Sarah crossed her fingers.  “So far, it hasn’t been too bad.  It’s just smells that set me off.”

Margaret looked up.  “Smells like food?  What are you doing in here?  Go outside with the guys!”

“No, I’m okay,” Sarah protested, even though the rabbit _did_ smell a little strongly to her.  “What kind of hostess am I if I invite you all over and let you do the work?”

“A _pregnant_ one,” Margaret said.  “Come on, you’re in a group of women who all understand how tired you must be.  Go rest on the couch or something.  Or get one of those guys in here with more firewood.  Just don’t make it harder on yourself than it has to be,” she insisted.

“She’s right,” Pam said, “You need to pamper yourself while you can.”

“Fine!”  Sarah let herself be shooed off to the couch.

What good friends she had.

~~~

 

“GOD _DAMN_ IT!”

The tree lay on its side in the living room, ornaments rolling across the hardwood, with Sarah tangled in its branches.  She sat up from the floor and tried to pry the tinsel from her arms and legs.

“There are no damn lights,” she yelled, pounding the floor with her fists.  “No damn lights, no damn wires running across the floor, no rugs bunched up by this God forsaken tree!  There aren’t even presents!  How in the _fucking hell_ did I trip into the thing?!”

Sarah gave up being gentle and ripped the tinsel from her legs, sending silver shimmers into the air, and kicked a few ornaments out of the way as she stood.

“And _you!_ ”  Sarah pointed at Bill, who’d come running from the bedroom.  “Why did I let you set this up?  The whole damn world has gone to shit and you want to put up a tree?  Like that does anything but give me something else to clean!  You’re not even here to _enjoy_ the damn thing!” 

With a final shrieked “DAMN IT!” she stomped past Bill and out the front door.

 

A half hour later, Sarah slunk back inside and stopped in the entryway.  The tree stood upright once more, half strung with tinsel.  The ornaments had been carefully collected on an armchair cushion and Bill was slowly placing silvery strands on empty branches.  He hadn’t yet noticed she was there.

“I’m sorry,” Sarah said, subdued.

Bill startled, wide eyed, but his expression softened when he saw her hunched in shame.  “Are you feeling better?” he asked gingerly.  “Did you take a walk?”

Sarah nodded but stayed where she was, staring at the floor.  “I shouldn’t have yelled like that.  Knocking the tree over was an accident, but I’ve been so irritable lately.  That just set me off.”  She finally looked up to catch his eye.  “I didn’t mean any of that.  I’m glad you wanted to decorate.  It _is_ nice to have a little bit of normality.  I mean, I wish you were home more now that you’re back to work, but you can’t help that.  You’re doing what you need to do.  I just…  I hate that you need to.  I want you here.”

“I know.”  Bill set the tinsel on the armchair and wrapped her in a hug.  She buried her face in his chest, still shrunk in on herself, and felt warmth returning to her extremities.  “I wish I were here more, too.  I know it’s not easy for you.”

Sarah nodded again, feeling tears leak through closed eyelids, and turned her face so she could speak.  “I’m so sorry, Bill.  I shouldn’t have lashed out at you.  Will you forgive me?”

Bill kissed the top of her head, squeezing her tighter.  “Of course I will.”  Bill slowly pulled back and bent slightly to look her in the eyes.  “But why were you wound up?”

Sarah shook her head.  “Nothing really.  I’m just emotional lately.”

Bill waited pointedly for her to continue.

Sarah stepped away and collapsed in the closest empty chair.  “Okay, it’s lots of things.”

Bill sat on the couch across from her and gestured for her to go on.

“I’m worried about the baby, but I know you are too.”  Sarah paused for Bill to nod in agreement.  “I also… well, I’m worried that I’m not going to look pregnant.  Just fat.  And there’re already comments in the ration line that people like me should have their rations cut further.  It’s not like I haven’t lost weight, but apparently not enough for some people.  And now I’m going to gain weight.”

“Bastards,” Bill swore under his breath.  “Tell me who it was and I’ll make sure they get _their_ rations cut.”

“No, don’t,” Sarah said.  “And, well, I guess it _has_ gotten to me that you’re gone so much.  We just made up and now it seems like you’re gone even more than before.  You’re gone before dawn and home after dark and I don’t know if my mood swings are because of the bipolar or the baby.  I feel selfish wanting you here, though, because I know you don’t have a choice.  I shouldn’t put that on you.”

“Oh, darlin’,” Bill said, coming over to sit at her feet.  “You know that’s not selfish.”

“Maybe,” she mumbled, then asked more soberly, “Can I…  Can I help you get everything set back up?”

“Of course.”  Bill grabbed her hand and led her back to the tree.  “I’ve got the tinsel.  You want to get the ornaments on that side?”

Sarah smiled, a little more genuinely.  “Yeah.  Let’s get this fixed.”

~~~

 

Bill slipped off from work early, as he’d been doing the past few days.  He saddled Slipper and rode him out to the Richmond Ranch.

Mimi was outside this time, looking mournfully at the chickens.

“Need help slaughtering one?” Bill asked.  It wasn’t his favorite chore, but maybe he could get a little chicken meat to take home.

Mimi waved him off.  “I got it.  You go do your thing.”

Bill trotted on past Mimi and led Slipper to the main barn.  He tied the gelding up outside and spent the rest of the afternoon inside the barn, working.

Only after the sun began to set and Bill lost his light inside did he leave, again waving at Mimi as he went by.

He left Slipper fed, cleaned, and watered in a stall at the 4-H campgrounds and walked the rest of the way into town.  That’s when he heard the news.  Tomorrow, Christmas Eve, there would be a carol service.

Bill couldn’t miss that.

~~~

 

“Sarah!” Bill called, kicking snow from his boots in the doorway.  “Grab your coat; we’re going out!”

“Screw that noise!” she called back from the bedroom.  “It’s after dark and I’m in pajamas already.”

Bill grinned and bounded down the hall.  As promised, Sarah was in flannel pajamas and wrapped in a quilt, reading by lantern light.  “So put your boots on over them and come on.  We’re going to the carol service at Bailey’s.  No one’s going to judge fashion tonight.”

Sarah stared at him for a moment before apparently realizing he was serious.  “Either give me five minutes to put on real clothes or put on your pajamas too.”

Bill was pulling off his coat as soon as she finished speaking.  “You’re really asking me if I want to put on something comfortable or stay in these damn pants?”  He quickly shed his work uniform, leaving the long underwear, and pulled on a similar set of flannel pajamas.  “See?  I’ll go sing in my pjs, too.  Now: boots, coat, gloves, hat.  We’re going to be late!”

Sarah shook her head in amusement but complied, pulling on her outerwear and letting Bill bundle her out the door.

They hurried the frigid mile into downtown and ducked into the safety of Bailey’s Tavern.  Last year, Bill might have wondered at the appropriateness of a bar hosting a carol service, but he wasn’t going to complain about taking advantage of Mary Bailey’s generator rations. 

The bar was already crowded, making it feel actually warm, and Bill had been right – people of all ages were generally dressed for warmth and they certainly weren’t the only ones wearing at least one layer of pajamas.  He scanned the room quickly, assessing the crowd out of habit: the town’s assorted ministers and reverends stood gathered in the corner, his father held court with other retired miners by the pool tables, the Green family, Emily, and Roger huddled together in a booth, and their friends were scattered throughout.  A fair number of faces he didn’t yet know filled out the group – refugees, which made his hackles rise; he didn’t know and didn’t trust most of them – but for the most part, this was Jericho and her people.  _His_ people.

Bill waved at Margaret – Jimmy was already surrounded by his kids and their friends, deep in a story – and guided Sarah towards them, though he stopped halfway there.

“Merry Christmas, Bonnie,” he said, signing as he spoke and keeping a wary eye on Sean Henthorn who was standing closer to Bonnie than Stanley would have put up with.  Sarah followed suit, hugging the teenager in greeting.  “Mind if we join you?”

Bonnie gave him a look, making it clear she knew exactly why Bill wanted to sit near her, but shrugged.

Bill found a spot on the floor, leaning against a column and using his bundled coat as a cushion.  Sarah curled up next to him and they watched as Jimmy’s storytelling attracted more attention from both children and adults – apparently he was retelling the story of the Grinch, acting out all the main parts himself until Emily took pity on him and jumped in as Cindy Lou Who.  Bill had to smile; Jimmy had always been a natural with kids and he envied that.

He apparently wasn’t all that interesting to his own kids, however.  Sally came wandering over and crawled into Sarah’s lap.  “Hi, Aunt Sarah.  Hi, Uncle Bill.”

“Hi, sweetie,” Bill said, reaching over to ruffle her hair.  “You ready for Christmas?”

“Yup,” she said, starting to fiddle with the buttons of Sarah’s pajamas.  “Can I tell you a secret?  Mommy said Santa prolly couldn’t find us this year because his sleigh was messed up like all the cars, but I think she’s wrong.  The old cars work and Santa’s sleigh is old, too.  I think it prolly still works.”

Bill and Sarah shared a look and he was suddenly very glad he knew his mom’s sewing circle had organized a hand-me-down toy drive.  Woody and Sally might not be getting much this Christmas, but they’d at least get something.

Sally kept chattering.  “Why are you wearing your pajamas?  You look silly.”

“Because sometimes adults do silly things and we felt like being silly,” Sarah explained, shrugging at Bill.  It was an accurate reason, at least.  He certainly didn’t have a better excuse.

“Okay.”  Sally sounded as if she were already disinterested in the answer and she probably was; the girl’s attention had always wandered unless she had a book.  Sarah had won Sally’s undying love when they met by providing her with a constant stream of new books to read and asking her what she thought.

Mary Bailey wandered through, passing out shot glasses with a sip of eggnog in them.  “Dale and Skylar managed to get their hands on a few cartons, so there’s just enough for everyone to have a taste.  I spiked it with my rotgut, but I don’t think it’s improved the flavor,” she apologized.

Bill downed both his and Sarah’s shots.  Mary was right: the flavor left much to be desired.  It was nice to have even a bit of tradition, though.

In the bar’s entryway, Reverend Trotter, the Presbyterian minister, was getting everyone’s attention and promising to limit the evening to music with no preaching.  Hymnals were being passed around and Bill grabbed one to share with Sarah and Sally.

“Joy to the World” was a rousing start and Sally sang more enthusiastically off-key than anyone around them, but as they worked their way into the softer carols, she succumbed to the warmth and Sarah’s idle backrubs and drifted off to sleep, still clutching Sarah’s pajama collar.

Bill watched as Sarah kissed the top of Sally’s head and carefully shifted to find a more comfortable position without waking the six year old.  “I’ll take her if you need me to,” he whispered between songs.

“Nah, I’m good.  I might drift off soon myself, though.  This is pleasant.  Maybe I’ll forgive you for making me come back out in the cold.”  She smiled and leaned into his chest.  Bill returned the smile happily.  Sarah was right; this was nice.

During the next carol, Bonnie crouched down next to Bill and looked at Sally.  _I remember you singing to me when I was that little_ , she signed.

Bill had an arm around Sarah, so he just mouthed the words at Bonnie.  _Me, too.  You’re lucky you don’t know how bad I sound._

Bonnie laughed and shook her head, smiling sadly.  _Stanley should be here.  Why couldn’t he come home for Christmas?_

Bill felt a quick pang.  _I miss him, too.  I wish I knew._

 _If he were here, maybe Mimi would quit riding my ass_.  Bonnie gestured to where Mimi stood behind them, looking out of place – though not so out of place as she used to.

 _Hey, be nice to her_ , he admonished.  _Your brother likes her, so that’s got to count for something._

 _He likes you, too.  His taste is questionable._   Bonnie grinned wickedly and Bill couldn’t help but laugh as she stood back up and slipped her hand in Sean’s.

Sarah indeed drifted off before too long, tucked beneath Bill’s arm.  The carols petered out, Jimmy gathered up his lightly snoring daughter, and still Sarah slept.  It was the most relaxed he’d seen her in weeks and he hated to have to mess that up.

Bill shook Sarah gently and kissed her temple as she stirred.  “C’mon, darlin’.  You need to wake up so we can go freeze in the snow.”

“Your persuasive skills need some work,” she murmured, but stretched and climbed to her feet.

“There’s a bed and five quilts waiting for you at home?” Bill tried, pulling on his coat.

“Mmm, much better.”  Sarah grabbed his hands and pulled him close, catching his eyes.  “Hey.  Thank you for making me come here tonight.  This was really nice and I would have missed it.  You’re kinda good for me, you know?”

“I love you, too,” he said and she burst into a smile and kissed him deeply, for once ignoring the fact that they were in public.

For his part, Bill ignored the catcalls coming from Jake and Emily and Roger.  Like those idiots were any better.

~~~

 

Sarah woke Christmas morning to find Bill still at home.  He was crouched in front of the fireplace, setting up kindling and the larger logs for a fire.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” Sarah whispered, making Bill jump.  “You need bathwater already?”

“Nope, this is a Christmas surprise.  I got extra wood this week, so we get to enjoy a fire just for its own sake.”

Sarah grinned.  They hadn’t had a fire to enjoy since last winter.  She missed those.  “Hold on.”

Sarah came back laden with pillows and the quilt from their bed.  Working around Bill, she set up a fluffy bed where they could snuggle and watch the fire.

She got in it first and patted the other side of the bedding, asking Bill to join her.  His skin was cold: the fledgling fire wasn’t putting out heat yet.  Sarah pulled Bill close and laid her head on his shoulder.

“This is a lovely Christmas present, hon,” she said.

Bill wrapped his arms around her and laughed.  “This isn’t your present.  I’ll have to get that later, when I decide to brave the cold.”

“Brave the cold?”  What could he have?  They’d agreed not to try to give actual presents this year, so she didn’t have anything for him.

“Let’s just wait until the fire is hot.”

 

They lay there all morning, alternating between snoozing and tending the fire.

Bill savored every moment.  He hadn’t had such a good morning in a while.  Not since… well, not since he probably got Sarah pregnant.

The world outside was cold and harsh, but here, in their living room, Bill had everything he loved.  His wife sprawled across him, his unborn baby, and Sadie asleep by the fire.  What more did he need?

Slowly, Sarah woke.  “How long have we been out?  I’m getting hungry.”

Bill glanced out the windows.  “Looks like we _are_ getting close to noon.”

Sarah sat up sharply.  “We’re supposed to go to your parents for lunch.  We’d better hurry.”

“Wait,” Bill said.  “I’ve got a present for you first.”  He extricated himself from the warm pile of quilts and went out front.  In the trunk of his SUV was the project he’d been working on all week.

He carried it inside and Sarah gasped.  “A cradle?”

“This is why I’ve been gone so late.  I’ve been out at Stanley’s working on this.  Bonnie said I could use the wood I found lying around the workshop, so…”  Bill looked at Sarah.  “I can’t get us a crib or anything else we’re supposed to have, but I could make this.”

Sarah threw herself at Bill.  “Oh, babe, it’s wonderful!  I can’t believe you’re thinking of these things already.”  She looked up at him.  “But I didn’t get you anything.”

Bill placed a hand on her belly, down low where she’d showed him.  “Of course you did.”


	8. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 17 & 18 - a hostage situation, some fluff, tight resources, and a little angst for flavor.

**January 1 st – February 1st**

“Things are about to get bad,” Bill warned Sarah once they were in bed for the night.  “We’re almost out of supplies for the town.”

Sarah rolled on her side.  “Are we really that close?”

“Yeah,” Bill said sadly.  “We can’t afford to take in any more people.  Hell, we can’t afford the people we _do_ have.”

“You’re not going to kick out the refugees, are you?”  Sarah propped herself up on her elbows.  “It’s still the middle of winter.  Where are they going to go?”

“There’s that FEMA camp by Rogue River.  That’s where they need to be, anyway.”

Sarah scoffed.  “Some of them have helped us!  What about Jessica down at the clinic?”

“They’re still taking food away from Jericho citizens.  From us.  From the baby,” Bill said, rolling onto his back.  “And that’s not even the worst part.”

“What’s that?” Sarah asked cautiously.

“The town knows about the tank now.  They know the Marines aren’t coming.”

~~~

 

Bill stood at the head of the ration line, trying to keep order.  Everyone was more desperate today now that news had spread about the tank.  Bill’s people were already out of corn and wheat, and running low on the other items.

“You’ll get your rations!  People, please, back up!” Bill implored.

Jake walked up.  “Bill, how’s Gray handling this?”

Bill gave Jake a look to let him know how bad things were.  “You better get in there,” he said, opening the door to the mayor’s office.  “I think we _really_ screwed ourselves this time.”

Bill followed Jake into the office, seeking a bit of quiet from the clamor outside, but Roger and Gray were arguing over the rations the refugees were – or weren’t – getting.

Roger – as much as Bill liked him – was pulling out emotional arguments for why the refugees should stay and Bill couldn’t help rolling his eyes.  Emotional arguments were all well and good, but they didn’t solve the food problem.

“It’s a mathematical problem,” Gray said.  Bill agreed.

“We’ll just have to figure out how to make what we have last,” Jake said.

Bill shrugged.  “I say the first thing we do is stop giving it away to strangers.”  He stared at Gray, ignoring the nasty looks he was getting from Roger and Emily.

 

Bill bounced a leg impatiently and fiddled with his hat, leaning against the back of a chair in town hall that night.  He, Harry, and Gray had stared at that damn supplies board until their vision swam.

“What if we cut food rations in half again?” Gray asked, desperately.

Bill shook his head.  How was he going to feed Sarah and his parents on half of what they got now?  His parents were already losing a dangerous amount of weight.

“It’s more than the food.  What about medicine?  Those refugees came here sick,” Harry pointed out.  “They’ve been burning through our meds for a month.”

“Can we make it to spring, Harry?”

“Some of us can.  Not all,” Harry admitted.

Bill fidgeted, upset with this whole situation.  He had a family to think about, a wife who was pregnant.  This couldn’t go on much longer.  “Crime’s been going up since they got here,” Bill said.

“Crime’s been going up since the bombs,” Gray countered.

“It’s gotta be done,” Bill insisted.  “The numbers speak for themselves.  Just look at ‘em!”

“I don’t need to look at them!  I see them in my sleep,” snapped Gray.

Bill dropped his head, looking down.  Gray already knew they couldn’t support the hundred or so refugees they’d collected; he just had to be talked into it.

Bill was trying.

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

Gray sighed.  “I guess we move them out,” he said in resignation.  He glanced out the window at the darkness outside.  “Tomorrow.”

 

Bill came home looking sad.  He slowly hung up his hat, his coat, and his utility belt, then joined Sarah in the bedroom.

“Tomorrow’s gonna be bad,” he told her.  “We’re kicking out the refugees.”

Sarah sat up straight.  “No!  Not in the middle of winter!”

“We have no choice, babe.  It’s us or them.”

“If this had happened five years ago, would you have kicked _me_ out, Bill?  Huh?”

Bill stopped halfway through changing into his pajamas.  “That’s different.  You moved here.  You didn’t wander in with your hands out.”

“It’s close enough, the way I see it.  These people have nowhere to go.  They _could_ become Jericho citizens if you’d just let them!  We already moved the refugee children in with families.  Why not the adults?”

Bill narrowed his eyes.  “You want a random stranger moving in here with us?  When we already have to share our rations with my parents?  You know that’s not going to happen.”

“Maybe not us, since we’re already supporting four people on the rations we get.  But there are other families with less.  Fred next door only has three.  Across the street, they have two.  We could work them in.”

“Sarah…”  Bill sighed.  “It’s not going to work.  People won’t go for that.  The refugees are just going to have to go to a FEMA camp if we’re going to make it to the spring crops.”

“Is it really that dire?” Sarah asked.

“I wouldn’t be insisting on it if it wasn’t,” Bill said softly.  He finished pulling on his pajamas and crawled in bed next to her.  “I’m not trying to be heartless.  I’m trying to be practical.  If you saw just how little we have left, you’d know something had to change, too.”

~~~

 

Bill stood next to Gray while two other deputies entered the room behind them.  Hopefully the four of them would be enough.

“Folks?  Folks, listen up.” Gray announced to the room at large.  The refugees in the church basement fell silent.  “I am sorry to say that the town no longer has the resources to take care of you.”

Bill watched the mood in the room drop suddenly.  He tried to look intimidating: it was so important to get rid of these people so Jericho could make it to spring crop season.  The snow had melted, so people were already looking forward to spring, but they had so far to go.

Gray ignored the murmuring of the refugees.  “So if you could just gather up your belongings, you will be escorted to a FEMA camp out near I-70.”

Bill thought that was a bit misleading.  The camp was actually miles down I-70, on the way west to Goodland.  Still, it was worth the gas to get them there.  Put everyone on a bus, take them to FEMA, and then Jericho could survive.

Harsh, but that’s what it was going to take.

One of the refugees got in Gray’s face.  “Yeah, we’ve been to those FEMA camps.  We barely made it out alive the first time.”

“FEMA has medicine and supplies and we don’t,” Gray said simply.  It was the truth.

Bill sauntered up to the refugee who’d stepped forward.  “You heard the mayor.  You need to start packing up.”

“What are you going to do, put us in jail?  Great!” the refugee sassed.

And then Gray made a mistake.  He relaxed his stance, just the tiniest bit.  “If I didn’t have to do this, I wouldn’t.”

“We’ve been working, okay?”

“I’m…  I’m sorry.”  Gray turned away from the refugee.

Bill interrupted his next protest, a finger held out to silence him.  “This isn’t a debate,” he said simply.

The refugee’s eyes narrowed.  “You’re right.  ‘Cause we’re staying.”

Bill turned around to look at him, just in time to catch a punch across the eye that knocked him down on one of the cots.

The other deputies jumped into the melee, but it was hopeless.  They were outnumbered and none of the deputies had been properly trained in hand-to-hand fighting.  It was a bar brawl in the church basement and Bill took his share of hits.

They were pushed out of the room and the refugees barricaded themselves in.

 

Bill went back to the station to grab a wet rag to daub his black eye with and get some bandages for the other guys’ cuts, too.  He hoped to slip in and out.

Unfortunately, Sarah was there.

“Bill, what happened?” Jimmy asked and Sarah looked up from her spot at his desk.

“Babe!” she exclaimed, standing up quickly.

“Refugees won’t move and started a fight.  We need all the guys down at the church _now_.” 

Jimmy called for the remaining deputies to follow him.

Sarah reached up and gingerly touched Bill’s face.  He winced.

“Do you have any ice packs still?” she asked.

“No, we used those pretty quickly.  But a washcloth dipped in cold water should do it.”

Sarah ran back to the supply closet for the jail.  She pulled out a dingy white washcloth.  “Hope this is sterile enough.”

“It’ll do.”

“Bill!”  Gray poked his head in the station.  “Need you with me.  Now!”

“Guess I better go,” Bill shrugged.

Sarah stood on her tiptoes and gave Bill’s bruised cheek a gentle kiss.  “Be careful.  Don’t get hurt any worse.”

 

Bill followed Gray down the street and around the backside of the church to see that yup, the refugees had fully barricaded themselves in.  Bill dabbed his eye with the washcloth as they walked back to the front, hoping it wouldn’t bruise _too_ badly.

Jimmy met them with a status report, some of which they already knew.  He was barely through with it when Roger came storming up, raging at Gray for kicking out the refugees and almost accusing him of murder.

Gray brushed him off and led Bill and Jimmy back to the station.  As they walked off, Bill heard Jake trying to talk some sense into Roger.

Good.  Maybe it would work.

“Bill, find the tear gas.  I’ve got to get something from my office.”  Gray split off and left Bill and Jimmy to look for the gas canisters.”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Jimmy said.

“Stop quoting _Star Wars_ ,” Bill said, waving at Sarah as he passed the desk.  “Let’s get to looking.”

 

The tear gas worked to get the refugees out, but it caused chaos.  The deputies did their best to corral everyone into a holding area that had been set up, but it didn’t stop one woman from falling down the church steps to her death.

And it didn’t stop one refugee – the one who’d hit Bill – from getting away.

Bill, Harry, and Gray stood in the town meeting room again, the supplies board looming over them.  Gray leaned against the window as if he’d had all the fight knocked out of him.

“One of the refugees is still out there,” Bill reminded him.

“You have rangers search the barns.  Use dogs if it’ll help.”

Dogs?  As if the Ranger’s pet dogs were trained for this.  Sadie had a good nose, but tracked what _she_ wanted, not what Bill wanted.  Bill fiddled with his gloves, getting ready to leave.

“And the rest of them?” Harry asked.

“Take ‘em to the med center and get them fixed up, Harry.”  Gray looked back at his two counselors briefly.

“Then send them away,” said Harry.

Bill looked up to see Gray’s response.

It wasn’t what he wanted.  Gray looked disturbed, as if he regretted that choice.

“What about the extra food you promised them?”

Gray shrugged.  “Give it to them.”

“After what they did to us?” Bill asked, aghast.  How _dare_ Gray give those people anything?  They’d lost that privilege when they attacked the deputies.

“Will you just do it before someone else gets hurt?!” yelled Gray, making Bill jump.

His expression hardened as he left.

 

Sarah heard a gunshot upstairs.  She ran out into the main lobby to find people trying to escape the building – with the exception of Jake, who ran towards the sound.

Was there an active shooter?

There wasn’t another shot, just a lot of yelling upstairs.  She did exactly what Bill would tell her not to and snuck up the stairs behind Jake, listening from outside the door of the meeting room.

Roger shot Gray?  Calm, mild-mannered, banker Roger?  That didn’t make sense.

She snuck back downstairs before Jake saw her, just in time to see Bill rush inside.

“What happened?” he asked, grabbing her arms and giving her a once-over.

“Gunshot upstairs.  I think Roger shot the mayor,” Sarah said.

Jake came running down the stairs and out the door.  “Don’t go upstairs,” he yelled on his way out.

Bill escorted Sarah into the sheriff’s office.  “Stay in here,” he instructed.  “Don’t come out.  Don’t go upstairs.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Handle a hostage situation,” he said, heading back to the gun safe.  Bill swung a rifle over his shoulder and headed out.

 

“Bill! Bill, don’t!” yelled Jake as he chased Bill out of Town Hall. 

Bill didn’t stop.  He started up the ladder he’d had his guys set up as soon as they heard the gunshot.  Halfway up Bailey’s Tavern, he turned back to Jake.  “You think I want to?” he asked.  “Roger’s a friend of mine, but I can’t let the Mayor bleed to death!”

“What if you miss?” Jake shot back.  “Huh?  What if you hit Emily?”

Bill paused in his climb once again.  “If I get the shot, Jake, I’m taking it.”

Once on the roof of the tavern, he got in a position where he could see into the meeting room.  There was Gray, sitting bleeding against the wall.  Where was Roger?

Damn it, Roger.  Bill wasn’t lying: he thought of Roger as a friend and had for a couple of years.  But it was Bill’s job to protect the town and he couldn’t just look past a hostage situation because he was friends with the hostage taker.  Roger had already proved he was willing to shoot.  He might kill the mayor next, either through action or inaction.  Bill _had_ to do something.

Roger stepped in front of the window.  Bill took aim, breathing deeply.  He was just about ready to take the shot when the blinds closed.  Afraid Roger would get away, he fired anyway.

Now to wait and find out if he’d just killed a friend.  Killed his first person.

 

Bill perched on the roof, ready to shoot again, as the school bus was brought in and loaded up with supplies.  He still didn’t get why they were giving away food and clothing that was so desperately needed at home.

Gail Green stepped up and started campaigning for the same thing Sarah suggested: taking people into families, or at least sharing rations with them.  It surprised Bill how many people volunteered.  He’d really misjudged the mood of the town towards the refugees.

Jimmy stepped out of Town Hall.  “They’re coming out!” he hollered.

Bill quickly moved to where he could see the square.  As he told Jake, if he got the shot, he was taking it.  Even in front of all these people.

Roger came out, holding Jake at gunpoint, just at an angle where Bill couldn’t get a clean shot.  _Damn_ it.

Gail approached Roger and told him that she’d found homes for all the refugees – homes?  Bill thought people had just agreed to food.  Where were these homes she mentioned?  He was glad Sarah wasn’t out here or she might have volunteered, too.

Slowly, Roger put down the gun and let Jake go.  Immediately Jimmy took down Roger and arrested him.

Bill relaxed with the gun.  His job was done and he hadn’t had to shoot anyone.

It was a good day.

 

Sarah watched, a little scared, as Jimmy escorted Roger back to the cell.  Bill followed soon after.

“How’d it go?”

Bill collapsed into a chair.  “Came a little too close to shooting Roger.”

“I heard the gunshot.”

“I missed.”

Sarah looked closely at Bill.  “On purpose?”

He shook his head.  “The blinds were closed.”

“You okay?”

Bill shrugged.  “Not sure.  We’ll see.”

Sarah rubbed his back.  “You’ll be fine, I know it.  What’s going to happen to Roger and the refugees?”

“The refugees are staying,” Gail Green said as she entered the room with Johnston, Jake, and Emily.  “We’ll put them in the empty houses.  People have volunteered to share rations with them.  Will you two?”

Bill and Sarah looked at each other and shook their heads.  “Not to be greedy, Gail,” Sarah explained, “but we already split our rations with Bill’s parents.  There’s four of us already.”

“Five,” Bill said, defiantly.  “Sarah’s pregnant.”

A look of fear crossed Gail’s face and Sarah knew she was remembering April.  “Oh.  Well then,” she said, face falling.

Johnston nodded at them.  “Congratulations.  Of course you don’t need to share your rations.”

Emily spoke up, oblivious to the conversation.  “Can I see Roger?”

“Once Jimmy gets back from the cells.  He’s getting Roger put in there now.”

“Is Roger staying, too?  Is Gray allowing that?” Sarah asked, worried about how distracted Emily seemed.

Emily shook her head.  “He has to leave.”

“Gray went for everything but that.  He was insistent Roger had to leave,” Jake added.

Sarah saw Bill nod in approval.  “When are we sending him out?”

“Tomorrow morning.  We’re not sending him out there after dark,” Jake said.

“Where’s he gonna go, you think?” Sarah asked.

“Maybe New Bern is taking in refugees,” Gail said.

Jake nodded.  “Good suggestion.”

Jimmy came out from the back hallway.  “Oh, Emily,” he said, surprised.  “You want to see Roger?”

Emily nodded, biting her lip.

Jimmy gestured with his thumb.  “He’s uh, he’s back here.  You can talk to him.”

 

Bill tried to sleep.  He really did.

His brain was going a hundred miles an hour, though. 

How close was he to actually shooting Roger?  What if someone else had moved into the line of fire?

Damn it, Roger, why did you even shoot Gray in the first place?  Gail Green would have come up with her solution anyhow and then everyone would have gotten to stay.  Now he was going off on his own, alone, and would probably die that way.  Bill knew how dangerous the roads were.  Farms on the outskirts saw theft and occasional violence.  Rangers came back hurt after skirmishes with road gangs who thought they were easy pickings – though thanks to Bill and Jimmy’s training, they weren’t.  Bill had missed most of the run-ins with raiders, but there’d been a time or two.

And to top it off, the mayor had needed a second surgery in the night.  He was going to make it, but only because he was stubborn as hell.

Damn you, Roger.  All of this was so needless.

And that “solution”… did it really fix anything?  They were still going to have to cut rations again.  Could he feed his family on that?  How was he going to make sure everyone made it to spring?  He was the one in charge of watching the food rations and making the decisions.  What if he had to make another decision?  Who would he cut?  How much more could Jericho take?

It was all on him.

Bill sat straight up, breathing quickly.  He patted the bed beside him to wake up Sarah and said simply, “Panic attack.”

Sarah sat up sleepily, reaching out to take his hand.  “Breathe, babe,” she said muzzily.  They’d done this too much since October.  He’d been too exhausted to get caught up in his thoughts most of the time, but some nights…

Some nights were just bad.

“Still can’t feed everyone,” Bill said quickly.  “Can’t feed _you_ all the way ‘til spring.  Gotta figure something out.”

“Bill, we’ve made it so far.  We can continue making it.  Even if it’s tough.”

“I gotta make the decisions.  I can’t cut anymore but I have to.”

“If you have to cut, you have to cut.  We’ll make it work.  Breath, babe.”

Bill looked at her, stricken.  “What if something happens to you or the baby because I can’t get you enough food?”

Sarah gulped, but squeezed his hand.  He squeezed back, tight.  “You can’t predict the future, Bill.  Focus on now.  Right now, we have food.  We have a place to live.  Your parents are fine.  Your dad is even doing a little better now.  We’re doing pretty well.”

Bill listened to her for the next half hour, countering her positivity and calmness with his worries.  Slowly, he began to believe her.  Slowly, the tension eased out of his body.  Slowly, he came down from his panic.

Thank goodness for Sarah being there to help him through.

The panic headache lingered, but he was finally able to sleep. 

~~~

 

Bill leaned against the flagpole, watching Roger disappear down Main Street. 

Jake clapped Bill on the shoulder.  “Dad’s setting up the Marine radio at Bailey’s, if you want to go have a listen.  There’s usually a lunchtime news broadcast.”

Bill nodded.  “I’m on desk duty today, but I’ll send Jimmy.  We need to know that stuff.  Thanks, Jake.”

No word passed between them about Roger or what happened yesterday.  It probably never would.

 

Jimmy came back from Bailey’s with a pained expression.  Bill knew he was trying to hide something.

“What is it, Jim?” he asked bluntly.  Sometimes that shocked Jimmy into spilling.

“Nothing.”  Jimmy walked past Bill and sat at his desk, shuffling papers.

“Are you gonna tell me what the broadcast said?” Bill asked.

“Oh!”  Jimmy did a quick rundown of the broadcast.  “And apparently Hewitt, the Farm Report guy does this every day.”

“Fantastic,” Bill said wholeheartedly.  They could use all the news they could get.

 

Ten minutes later, Bill heard his name.  He looked over at Jimmy and found him fidgeting.

“Gotta tell you something, Bill, but you can’t tell anyone.”  He got up and gestured for Bill to follow him.

Bill followed Jimmy into the office.  “Whatcha got?”

Jimmy looked around to make sure they were alone.  “You know I told you about the fake FBI badges?”

“The ones in the news report?  Sure.” 

“I’ve seen a badge like that here in town.”

“What?” Bill gaped.  “Who’s FBI?  And how do you know it’s fake?”

Jimmy waited a moment, getting up his nerve.  “Rob Hawkins.  He’s got an FBI badge.  I found it when Gray and I were visiting the new people in town.”

Bill punched Jimmy’s arm.  “You’ve known this since October and you haven’t told me?”

“Hawkins made us promise!” Jimmy protested.  “And now I think it’s because the badge is fake.”

“Why do you think it’s fake?”

Jimmy hemmed and hawed.  “I, uh… I just have a feeling.  Something’s off.”

Bill nodded.  Jimmy’s instincts were usually pretty good when it came to deputy stuff – even if he did bumble through conversations sometimes.

“You’ve got his family living with you, don’t you?” Bill asked.  “Why don’t you ask them?  If you’re not satisfied with their answers, do a little more investigating.”

“Yeah.”  Jimmy sighed and breathed easier.  “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Just keep me informed this time, asshole.”

Jimmy grinned.  “And people think I’m no good at secrets.”

~~~

 

“Come to work with me.  I want you to see something,” Bill requested that next morning.

Sarah followed Bill in, struggling to keep up with his brisk walk.  She was loathe to ask him to slow down – it was still cold and jogging a bit every now and again kept her warm.  At least Bill did slow down and check on her when she started breathing hard – but it was in his nature to walk fast, so he’d be ahead of her again in a few minutes.

When they made it to Town Hall, she instinctively started towards the sheriff’s office, but Bill grabbed her arm. 

“No, we’re going in here.”  He steered her into Gray’s office.

They stopped in the dark receptionist’s room and Bill finally explained.  “I want your help.  I want you to look at the supplies board with me and see what we can do.  I want you to know what I do most days.”

“Is Gray okay with that?” Sarah asked.

“He’s still out recovering and isn’t supposed to be back until the end of the week.  Harry tried to get Johnston to come back in and help us, but he wouldn’t.”

“Oh.  Okay.”  Sarah braced herself.  She’d heard so much about this dreaded supplies board that she wasn’t sure she wanted to see it.

Bill unlocked the mayor’s office and led her inside.  The board loomed over the room ominously, she thought.

It made no sense to her at first – figures everywhere! – but Bill slowly and patiently explained what each figure was, as he brought the board up to speed without the refugee rations.  “We can take these off because they’re sharing with citizens.  This all goes back into our resources.”

“So how much longer does that give us supplies?”

“It’s about a month extra.  Right now, we can make it to mid-March.”

Sarah leaned against Gray’s desk.  “So that gets us how close to the spring crops?”

“Oats’ll show up first, around the first of March, but most won’t be ready for harvest until spring.”

“We’ll have oats before the food runs out!  That’s good, isn’t it?” Sarah asked.

Bill shrugged.  “Depends on how much comes in.  If it’s a small crop, it may not make much difference.  And lots of people want the oats for their livestock, too.  It’ll be a challenge getting it from them.”

Sarah watched Bill as he fretted over each line on the board.  “You work yourself into an anxiety frenzy over this, don’t you?”

He nodded guiltily.  “Almost every day.  Some panic attacks if it’s just me.”

“How do you bleed off the anxiety?  You’ve managed to be pretty calm coming home.”  Sarah worried that he was doing that for her sake – she’d rather know about all his worries than have him hide them.  Maybe this was what he felt when she tried to hide her depression?

“Anything that distracts me.  Most of the time I go out on a call or talk to Jimmy.  I’ve still got a few Sudoku books in my desk that help.”

Sarah smiled sympathetically.  She’d gotten him those for that very reason a couple Christmases ago.  “Good.  But you know you don’t have to hide the anxiety from me.”

Bill gave her a half-smile back.  “I don’t want to stress you out with the baby.”

Sarah rolled her eyes, but kept smiling.  “You don’t have to treat me like I’m fragile.”

“I just want to be careful with you.  With the baby.  I need to keep both of you safe.”

Sarah pulled Bill to her and gave him a tight hug.  “You are.  You don’t need to push yourself to do it, though.  You’re doing it by just being yourself.”

“’Myself’ can’t help but push,” Bill pointed out.  “You’re too precious to me not to push.”

Sarah couldn’t argue against that, so she just hugged Bill tighter.  

“Okay, babe,” she said in a moment.  “Show me what I can help you with.”

Bill waved at the board.  “Can you come up with a better way to allocate what we have?”

Sarah stared at the board for ten minutes, then shook her head to try to rid herself of a headache.  “Can you get me some scratch paper?”

“Check Gray’s desk,” Bill suggested.

Sarah sat in Gray’s chair and looked in the top drawer.  Aha!  She grabbed a pen and drew a grid, marking out months and types of food.  “Okay, so we’re already out of corn and wheat.  The dairy farms are still donating milk, but only as long as they get oatmeal to feed their cows, so that takes from the total, right?”

Bill nodded.

Sarah scribbled some figures on the paper.  “You don’t want to go below two-thirds rations now, because more people are eating from each ration.  But that only gets us to March.”

“That’s the problem.”

“So either we need to cut rations anyway, or figure out some way to supplement what we have.”

“Right.”

Sarah leaned back in the chair.  “Wow, babe.  You really do have a problem.”  She thought for a moment.  “I think…  Maybe you have to cut the rations anyway.  Go down to five-eighths – not a huge drop, but enough to stretch us out a couple of weeks.  Then the oats will come in.  Maybe the Rangers can help collect the oats.”

“Don’t forget, Gray promised a tenth of our spring crops to New Bern.”

“Did he?” Sarah asked incredulously.  “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, it’s in exchange for the windmills that are coming.”

Sarah sighed.  “I sure hope he knows what he’s doing.  But I don’t see anything except cutting rations anyway.  You really need a nutritionist to help allocate this, you know.”

“People aren’t going to understand it,” Bill pointed out, ignoring her other comments.

“Have they understood it yet?  Maybe Gray can have another one of his town hall meetings and explain it again.”

Bill rolled his eyes.  “‘Cause those work out _so_ well.”

 

Jimmy motioned for Bill to follow him into the office again.  Bill followed willingly – he was ready for an update on Jimmy’s hunch.  “What’d you find out?”

“Hawkins is FBI.  But I’m still suspicious something is wrong.”

“What’d you do to investigate?” Bill asked.

“I talked to his family last night and they all said he was FBI.  But there was a look in their eyes that made me think there was more to the story.”

“And?” Bill asked impatiently.

“So I went to Robert’s house while he was on patrol.”  Jimmy looked embarrassed.  “I broke in to the house and then into a locked door in the basement.  He’d hidden it the last time I was there.  I found suspicious stuff, like extra passports in different names.”

“You found what?”  Bill was shocked.  This was spy movie stuff!

“Yeah.  So I came back here to get a second opinion on the situation.  I looked for you, but you were busy with Sarah in the mayor’s office.”

“Looking at the supplies board,” Bill pointed out quickly.

“Right.”  Jimmy gave him a knowing look.  “Anyway, Jake was out in the square, so I grabbed him.  Figured he’s got good sense and it’s a Ranger issue, too.”

“So what did Jake think?”

“Jake stayed and talked with Robert for a while and said he was FBI when he came out.  But the look on his face… he looked haunted.”  Jimmy shook his head.  “I’m still not sure.”

Bill thought for a bit.  He couldn’t believe he was about to say this, but…  “Well, if Jake thinks we can trust him, we can probably trust him.”

Jimmy looked relieved at Bill’s decision.  “Yeah, you’re right.”

~~~

 

Sarah turned in front of the mirror.  “Ah, shoot.  I’m filling out.”

Bill came up behind her.  “I hadn’t noticed.”

Sarah shot him a disbelieving look.  “ _I_ have.  Look, my clothes are already tighter.”  She tugged on her shirt to show him.

“Barely,” Bill said.  “And you’re supposed to be, aren’t you?”

“Yes, it’s the end of the third month, but…”  Sarah pouted.  “I was hoping I’d look like I was pregnant instead of just getting fatter.”

Bill wrapped his arms around her.  “You look beautiful.”

Sarah swatted at his hands.  “Don’t just say that.”

“I’m not!” Bill protested, kissing her neck.

Sarah moaned just a little.  She felt so sensitive lately that Bill’s kisses sent a shiver down her spine.  “You sure you’re not?”  She turned around in Bill’s arms, looking up into his eyes.  Ah, those beautiful amber eyes.  She loved everything about his face, but his eyes might be her favorite.

He grinned wide enough to make his eyes squint, causing crinkles to appear at the edges.  Sarah couldn’t help herself:  she reached up and kissed Bill, pulling his head down so she could kiss his cheeks and his dimples, too.

“You’ve got my baby in there.  You can put on a hundred pounds and you’ll still look as lovely as the day we got married,” Bill whispered.

Sarah swatted him.  “You’re just exaggerating now.”  She couldn’t help but blush, though.

Bill leaned down and kissed her forehead.  “Come to bed with me and I’ll show you how beautiful you still are.”

Well.  How could she turn down _that_ offer?

~~~

 

Sarah kissed Hank’s cheek when he opened the door.  “Happy sixty-fifth!  I brought you a cake!”

Hank rushed Sarah in the door, almost forgetting about Bill standing on the porch too.  “Get inside, sweetie.  It’s too cold out there for you.”

“I’m fine, I promise!” Sarah laughed, turning back to grab Bill’s hand and pull him inside, too.  She held up a small, lumpy cake with the other hand.  “I can’t guarantee how this will taste, because I had to make some substitutions, but it was the least I could do for your birthday."

Pam met them both with a hug and took the cake from Sarah.  “Where did you find stuff to make a cake?!” she asked, bewildered.

“I bartered for some sorghum flour from Dale Turner and we had some sugar left.  I also traded with Bonnie for eggs,” Sarah explained.  “Everything else was still in the pantry.”

“You are a sweetheart.”  Hank patted her shoulder and guided her to the couch.

“How’s the baby?” Pam asked earnestly.

Sarah looked at Bill and grinned.  They’d been betting on how soon Pam would ask.  “Well, I think.  I’m no longer having morning sickness, so that’s been great.”

“You wouldn’t have felt the baby yet, would you?” Pam asked.  “I felt Bill very early on.”

“No, ma’am, not yet.  I’m just going by the books here, but it may be a while yet,” Sarah responded.  “I noticed I’m a little bigger, but I can’t really feel where the baby is yet either.”

Pam looked disappointed.

Bill laughed.  “Mom, you’re going to have plenty of time to enjoy this baby.  Be patient.”

“Not for my first grandchild!  I just _know_ it’s going to be perfect.  I’m ready!”

“I’m sorry I can’t hurry things up for you, Pam,” Sarah said, grinning.

“I know.  I’m just impatient.”

Sarah held in her laughter.  They’d had this conversation every time she came over to visit or bring rations.  She had to laugh at it or it’d drive her crazy.

_Grandparents._

She wondered how _her_ parents would be reacting.  They’d never wanted grandkids, but now that they were having one…

Sarah shook herself out of her reverie and smiled at her in-laws.  She should focus on the people she _did_ have, not the ones who were missing.

It didn’t work.  All Sarah could think about was if her parents had survived.

“Excuse me,” she said and snuck off to the bathroom.  Once there, she sat on the edge of the bathtub and cried.  Why couldn’t she get her emotions under control in front of Bill’s family?  They didn’t need to know about her personal problems.

A few minutes later, Bill knocked softly on the door.  “You okay, honey?” he asked, entering unbidden.

Sarah looked at him, teary-eyed, and wiped her face.  “I’ll be okay.”

Bill sat on the tub next to her.  “What’s wrong?”

“I just…”  Sarah paused.  “I just wish we were having dinners with _my_ parents too.  I hate that it’s been months and I still don’t know if they’re alive.  I don’t know if I’ll ever see them again.”

“We probably will,” Bill said.  “Like you tell me, we can’t predict the future and say something isn’t going to happen.  This isn’t going to last forever, though.  Someday there will be travel again – and news.”

Sarah leaned against Bill.  “You really think so?”

“I do.  And I think they’ll be thrilled about the baby.  I can’t wait for them to meet it.”

Sarah sniffled, but laughed briefly.  “We’ll see if my mother will actually want to hold the baby.”

Bill looked mock offended.  “How could she not?  Her first grandchild!”

“The first?” Sarah asked.  “You still planning on more, when the world is like this?”

“Babe, I want as many kids as you do.  I don’t think we can screw them up any more now than we could have before.”

Sarah laughed, genuinely this time, and gave Bill a hug.  “What would I do without you to come save me when I get like this?”

Bill gave her back a quick rub.  “You’d figure it out on your own and go out to kick ass.  It’d just take you a little longer.”

Sarah knew better.  Bill was her world, even when he made her mad.  She could never survive without him.


	9. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 19 and 20 - fluff and a little bit of okayness and then not so much.

**February 14 th – February 28th**

Sarah woke Bill with a kiss.  “So it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m in my second trimester.”

“Mhmm, so what does that mean?” he asked muzzily.  He definitely approved of waking up this way.

“Well,” Sarah said between kisses, “according to the books, I’m supposed to want more sex.  If you’d been reading them, you’d know that.”

Bill perked up at that.  With only an exception or two, they hadn’t had sex since Sarah got pregnant.  They’d been busy, or the mood was wrong, or Sarah wasn’t feeling well… lots of excuses.  “Oh, really?” he said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yes.  This is why you should read the books I give you.”  Sarah unbuttoned his flannel shirt and started kissing his chest.  “I’m thinking they’re right.”

Bill pressed his head back into the pillow as his body began to react to Sarah’s hands teasing lower.  He groaned happily. 

Sarah popped back out from under the blanket.  “What’s that?  You want me to stop?” she joked.

Bill grabbed Sarah’s face with both hands and kissed her roughly.  “No.  Never”

“Then you need to lose your pants, mister.”

Sarah rolled off him and started taking off her own flannel pajamas.

“Wait,” Bill said.  “Let me help.”

He pulled on her collar as she unbuttoned her shirt and kissed her shoulder.  She shuddered, which just made him want her more.  Once her shirt was fully open, Bill carefully slid her arms out of the sleeves and pushed her down on the bed, tossing the flannel into a corner of the room.

As he kissed her stomach, he mentioned, “You know, you’re showing now.  I can even tell with your clothes on.”

Sarah squirmed – Bill knew his morning scruff was tickling her – and said “Oh don’t tell me that.”

“I _will_ tell you that.”  Bill kissed the bulge of her belly.  “Because I love it.”

Sarah pulled him back up to her face.  “You mean that?  It’s not a turn-off?”

Bill shook his head, grinning as her blue eyes glistened with happy tears.

“Pants off now, Koehler,” Sarah instructed, wiping her eyes.  “You’re going to prove that to me.”

Happy Valentine’s, indeed.

~~~

 

Sarah was still in bed, trying to hold on to the last bit of warmth Bill left behind when she felt it.  A burbling, a bit like gas – not an unusual thing lately – but this was different somehow.  It wasn’t quite where–

Her eyes slammed open.  “Bill!” she called, sitting as quickly as she could.  She pressed her hand into her belly, trying to feel from the outside.  “Bill, come here!”

He skidded out of the bathroom, half dressed.  “What is it?  Are you okay?”

Sarah stared at him, gaping.  “The baby,” she breathed.  “It’s moving.  I feel it.”

“Really?”  Bill’s voice went soft, curious.  “That’s the first time, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”  Sarah held out a hand to him, beckoning excitedly.  “Come here.  I don’t think you can feel yet, but try.”

She pulled Bill’s hands to her, pressing them as close as she could to where she was feeling the movement.  His brow furrowed in concentration and she watched his expression closely for any sign.

A minute later, Bill shook his head.  “Nothing.”

Sarah grabbed his face lightly and kissed him.  “I’m close to the fifth month now.  Maybe soon.”

“Soon,” Bill agreed, turning to go back to the bathroom

“Come back to bed, babe,” Sarah whined.

“I’ve got to go to work.”

“I’m cold and need to you warm me back up.”

Bill sighed and climbed back in bed.  His skin had a slight chill to it, but Sarah found that he warmed up quickly enough when cuddling.

She curled up, head against his chest so she could hear his heart beating.  What a reassurance that repetitive tha-thump was.

Bill wrapped his arms around her.  “I love you, Sarah,” he whispered into her hair.

Sarah smiled, content in his arms.  “I love you too, hon.”

Could life get any better?

~~~

 

One of the new deputies came running into the station.  “The guys who went to New Bern are back!”

Bill stood at his desk.  “You sure?”

The deputy, Matt, nodded breathlessly.  “The windmills are here, too.”

“They were supposed to stay gone ‘til spring,” Bill muttered.  He wondered what was up, but he was excited if it meant Stanley was back.

He left Matt in charge of the desk and rushed outside, looking at the hubbub around him.  Ten trucks with ten windmills filled the square.  If they could get those running, they could change the town’s fortune.

Bill scanned the crowd and spotted Stanley in the middle, talking to Jake.  He waited until Jake had turned to talk to one of the New Bern guys to call Stanley’s name.

Stanley grinned when he saw him.  “Bill!”

The two men hugged when they met in the square. 

“Man, I didn’t think I’d see you for a couple more months,” Bill said, clapping Stanley on the shoulder.

“They just up and sent us home today.  I don’t know what’s up, but I’m not complaining.”

“Things okay in New Bern?” Bill asked.

Stanley shook his head.  “Something’s wrong.  Heather went missing, then Eric, and now they’ve sent the rest of us home.”

Bill frowned.  That didn’t bode well.

“But hey, man, how’s Jericho been since I left?  What’s happened?”

Bill gestured for Stanley to follow him inside, where the windmill power kept it warm.  He talked as they walked.  “It’s not been very easy.  We’ve had food shortages and almost kicked the refugees out.  Roger – yeah, _our_ Roger – shot the mayor and has been exiled.  And oh yeah, Sarah’s pregnant.”

Stanley reached out and stopped Bill in the building lobby.  “What now?”

Bill grinned.  “Yeah, we found out the day before you left, but didn’t get a chance to tell you.”

Stanley hugged Bill again, taking him by surprise.  “That’s great.  I’m so happy for you.”

Bill returned the hug heartily.  “Thanks, Stanley.  We’re really excited.”

“Look, I gotta get back to Bonnie and Mimi.  You know if anyone can give me a ride?”

Bill glanced around.  “Well, now that we aren’t going to need fuel for the generators…  Sure, why not?”

As Bill’s SUV bounced down the road – bumpy from lack of upkeep – Stanley asked, “How have Bonnie and Mimi been doing?  Everything okay at the farm?”

Bill paused.  “Oh, yeah,” he said, hoping Stanley wouldn’t pry.  “They seem to be doing well and staying happy.  Sarah goes by occasionally and they share some eggs with her.  The extra protein really helps right now.”

Stanley nodded.  “Yeah, sure, as long as there’s plenty to go around.”

“So far, so good on that.  I think you’ll be happy with how the farm’s been kept.”

Stanley stopped Bill at the entrance to the Ranch drive.  “I’m gonna make a dramatic entrance.”

Bill rolled his eyes.  Of course Stanley would think of that.  “Okay, man, but take care.  I’m glad you’re back.”

Stanley leaned in the window of the car and saluted.  “Adios, amigo.”

 

Bill almost stayed to hear the outburst when Stanley found Sean Henthorn living on the farm.  He could have been a good friend and warned him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to be the bearer of such news.

He putted the SUV back to Town Hall and made his way to the sheriff’s department.

It was another busy day, but the new deputies were handling things quite well, it looked like.  Bill wondered if he’d ever stop thinking of them as new.  Probably not.

“Bill!”  Jimmy waved him over.

“What’s up, Jimmy?” Bill asked, leaning forward against Jimmy’s desk.

“Got a problem at home I want your opinion on.”  Jimmy looked around.  The new guys were either not listening or good at pretending they weren’t.  “Look at this drawing Sam did.”  He held out a piece of construction paper with a drawing of a house being attacked by monsters. 

“Jesus.  That’s a little dark,” Bill said.

“I know!  I think… well, I think Sam is having trouble missing his dad.  He’s a scared kid whose family is broken up.  I know what that’s like.  I’d like to talk to him about it, let him know things will turn out okay either way, but Darcy told me not to.”

Bill shook his head.  “You’d be a good one to talk to the kid, Jimmy.  You went through a lot at that age, too.”

“I know!” Jimmy said.  “I’m thinking of talking to him anyway.”

Bill angled his head and squinted.  “I don’t know…  I don’t think I’d want to be on the wrong side of Darcy Hawkins.  She’s scarily efficient when she’s in here.”

“But Sam needs _something_.  And I think I can help.”

Bill tapped Jimmy’s desk, a little anxiously.  He thought his friend was about to make a mistake, but he seemed bent on his course.  “Well, if you’re sure you want to…”

“I think I’d better.”  Jimmy grabbed a clipboard and went to talk to one of the other deputies.

As if on cue, Sam Hawkins wandered into the station, his backpack slung over his shoulder.

Jimmy immediately swooped in on the kid.  “Oh, hey buddy.  Your mom just went to the little girl’s room.  Why don’t you grab a seat?

“Okay,” said Sam, taking a seat on one of the stools behind the counter.

“Say, you know what?  Why don’t we go sit in my office?  Maybe we can talk.”

“About what?”

“About your artwork,” explained Jimmy.

“Okay,” said Sam again.

Bill watched all this with a wary eye.  He sure hoped Jimmy knew what he was doing.

 

After asking permission – that SUV was Bill’s baby, after all – Sarah borrowed the car to drive out to the Richmonds.

She’d almost borrowed the horse, but it seemed like all that jostling wouldn’t be good for the baby _or_ for the eggs she came to get.  She’d also thought about walking, but it was a long way and would get her back after dark – not the safest option.

Halfway there, Sarah began to think driving was as jostling as riding a horse.  The roads were in desperate need of repair after a hot summer and a cold winter.  Still, the SUV got her there the quickest.

She drove up the drive and honked, like she’d worked out with Mimi a month ago.  Sarah got out of the car and headed towards the porch.

Instead of Mimi, Stanley came out, looking annoyed until he saw who it was.

“Can’t you knock anymore?” he joked, giving her a big hug.  He pulled back and looked at her stomach – rapidly expanding this last week.  “Wow, Bill wasn’t kidding.  You _are_ pregnant.”

“Just a little bit.  Five months in a couple days,” Sarah said, grinning.  “When did you get back?”

“Today.”  Stanley made a face.  “Got home and discovered freaking Sean Henthorn living in my house, though.  Should have come home sooner.”

Sarah laughed.  “From what I understand, it’s been working out decently well.”

“Sean Henthorn has done nothing ‘decently well’ in his life,” he muttered.

“Stanley…” warned Mimi from the porch.  “Remember what I told you.”

Stanley rolled his eyes.  “I didn’t kick him out, did I?

“No, but you were about to.”  Mimi turned to Sarah.  “I’ve got ten eggs for you this week and some extra alfalfa sprouts if you want something green.”

“Oh God, yes,” Sarah said.  “I swear my whole body is crying out for a salad.”

“Well, it won’t be a real salad, but it’s something,” Mimi said.

“What do you have for me to do today?” Sarah asked.

“Not much, really.  Bonnie and I did the laundry, but she and Sean went out riding earlier.  Think you could do… whatever it is horses need doing?”

“Wait a minute!” Stanley protested.  “She’s pregnant.  We can’t put her to work!”

“Stanley, it’s okay,” Sarah said.  “We can’t afford to trade any rations, so I volunteered for this.  Besides, it’s usually good exercise and I’m supposed to do that.  It’s just once a week, anyway.”

“Fine, but I’m helping.”  He turned to Mimi.  “And you’re giving her everything you promised.”

Mimi rolled her eyes and nodded.  “Whatever you think some help around here is worth.  I’ll get the food wrapped up for when you’re finished.”  She turned on her heels and went back inside.

Stanley, true to his word, followed Sarah into the barn, where the horses were waiting, still saddled.

Sarah started undoing all the tack buckles and went to lift the saddle off the first horse.

“Wait, let me,” Stanley said, and swept the saddle off the horse before she could get a hold on it.

“You know, Stanley, I can still lift things.”

“Yeah, but…”  Stanley looked stricken.  “You shouldn’t have to.”

Sarah laughed.  “Okay, but I’m fine currying and brushing.”

“I’ll let you do that,” Stanley bargained, “if you let me get the tack.”

Sarah nodded.  “I think we have a deal.”

~~~

 

“Come on, Bill, let’s go,” Gray said, sticking his head into the station.

“Yes, sir.”  Bill stood immediately and followed.

Gray led him out back to one of the town’s trucks.  “We’re going out to the mine to stop New Bern from stealing our salt.”

“Does this have anything to do with the bags of salt being unloaded from the New Bern trucks earlier?”

Gray’s expression darkened.  “Skylar Stevens thinks she can take control of her parents’ share of the mine.  Tried to tell me she was an ‘emancipated minor.’  Now she entered into a deal with New Bern to give them a quarter of the mine.  We’re stopping it.”

Bill boggled.  “Just you and I?”

“I’ve already got men out at the mine and told one of the Rangers to get the other guys out there.”

Well.  Sounded like Gray was fully back in charge as mayor.  Too bad he saw the Rangers as his own personal police force rather than the town’s, Bill thought.

When they arrived at the mine, it was just as Gray said: Dale, Skylar, and a few New Bern men standing outside the fence, while miners – led by Harry Carmichael – stood inside the fence.  There was lots of yelling and chain rattling.

“This doesn’t look good,” Bill said worriedly.  “It could turn into a full-blown riot.”

“As our guys show up, you keep ‘em back out of sight.  I don’t want those New Bern guys getting trigger-happy,” instructed Gray, walking up to the fray.

Bill nodded and hung back by the truck.  He half felt that he should be escorting Gray anyway, but he had his orders.

“This salt mine is private property!  You have thirty seconds to get the hell out of here!” boomed Gray.

The New Bern men didn’t move and neither did Dale or Skylar.

“Gray, what the hell is this?” asked Harry through the fence.

“There’s no deal,” Gray insisted.  “I’m not giving away anything.”

Bill watched Dale argue with Skylar and one of the New Bern men – the one who’d come to visit Gray earlier in the afternoon.  Voices rose, Gray grabbed Dale to escort him out of the area and then –

A gunshot.

Bill didn’t know who fired it, but he knew both sides were now firing at each other.  “Stop!” he yelled fruitlessly.

A sting on his arm caught his attention.  His jacket had been ripped and he felt pain on his arm.

He’d been shot.

Jesus.  He’d never been shot before.

To top it off, it was his right arm, his shooting arm.

He tried to aim left-handed, tried to aim for people’s weapons to take them out, but his gun wavered.  The pain getting to him, he supposed.

Still, he had to get Gray out of there safely.  He holstered his gun and rushed into the melee.  “Gray, we gotta go!”

He led Gray back to the shelter of the truck and found he was miraculously unharmed.

“What were you thinking, getting in the middle of that?” Bill fussed as if Gray was one of his Ranger trainees.  “We can’t afford you getting hurt again.”

Gray stared at Bill’s arm.  “You’re bleeding.”

“I know,” Bill said.  “Hurts like hell.  But we’ve got to get this stopped.”

Bill reached in the backseat of the truck where Gray kept his shotgun.  He loaded a shell and held it against his left shoulder.  Bill braced himself for the recoil and the noise and fired a shot over the crowd.

To his shock, the firefight actually subsided.  Both sides stepped back from the fence.  Both sides had casualties.

“Shit.”  Bill stared at the remnants of the skirmish. 

“We’ve got to get them to the clinic,” Gray said.

“Open the fence and I’ll help you carry our guys out,” Bill said.

“No, we’re getting the New Bern guys, too.”

Bill shook his head.  Gray always softened, in the end.  The New Bern guys had _shot_ them.  Shot _him._   And Gray wanted to help them?  Let them drive back to New Bern for help.

Two trucks of Rangers drove up, ready for anything – except what they found.  Bill told them to load everyone hurt into the truck beds and let anyone who wasn’t hurt walk back to town – escorted by the deputies, of course.  And, of course, alert the families of those who were hurt.

While his guys followed orders, he stripped his jacket, cursing the hole in it.  Slowly and painfully, he took off his uniform shirt and lifted his t-shirt sleeve to see his wound.  Clean through the edge of his arm.  Only a little muscle harmed then.  He would survive that easily: the wound just needed some stitches and good bandaging.  He didn’t have that out here, so he made do with his uniform shirt.

Another uniform ruined.  Sarah was going to kill him.

Bill noticed Skylar limping – amazing.  A firefight she caused and she only hurt her ankle.  Bill shook his head and escorted her back to Gray’s truck.  “Get in the back and wait,” he instructed.  Skylar looked too stunned to disobey.

“Bill!” Gray called.

Bill ran over and found Harry Carmichael with an extremely bloody leg.  The little bit of first aid training Bill had kicked in and he ripped off the leg of Harry’s pants, using the cloth to staunch the blood flow.  “We need to get him back, _now_.”

Gray nodded and the two men lifted Harry and slid him into the back of Gray’s truck.

“Let’s go,” Gray said.  Bill hopped in.

 

They took the clinic by surprise.  Bill rushed inside while Gray escorted Skylar, asked for a gurney, and one of the nurses followed him outside.  They got Harry loaded on the gurney and burst through the clinic doors.

Gail Green met them, as no nonsense as she ever was.  She got to work on Harry, but not before checking if Bill needed help.

“That’s okay, I can wait,” he said tensely.  He needed to talk to Gray first.

Gray wandered down the clinic hall, looking a little lost.

“We shouldn’t be patching those guys up!” Bill said, following the mayor.  “We should be arresting them!  They opened fire on us!”

Gray spun around.  “We don’t know who shot first, all right?  I’ll get to an investigation.  Right now we need to make sure people don’t die,” he said, stalking down the hall once more.

Bill rolled his eyes.

 

There was a knock on the door.

That was ominous, Sarah thought.  Anytime Bill was gone and someone knocked, her heart was gripped with fear.  Had something happened to Bill?

A deputy stood at the door, hat in hand, looking downcast.

Oh, shit.

“Sorry to disturb you, ma’am, but there was a firefight out at the salt mine and–”

“Is Bill okay?” she interrupted.

“He got shot in the arm, but it’s not too bad.  He’s at the clinic now.  He said to let you know.”

Sarah let out the breath she’d been holding.  Not too bad.  She’d take that.

“Let me get my stuff and I’ll be right down there.”

 

“Jesus, Bill, what did you do?” Sarah asked.

Bill was still seated out in the hall, waiting for a nurse or someone to see him.  “What are you doing here?”

“You sent guys to let families know.”  Sarah gave him a knowing look.  “You didn’t mean _your_ family, did you?”

Bill looked down at his feet.

“That’s a no.”

“Bill?” Gail Green said.  “I can get you in a room now.”

She sat Bill on an examination table and pulled the uniform shirt away from Bill’s arm.

Bill winced.  The shirt had become stuck on the wound and it hurt tearing it away.

Sarah came over and held Bill’s left hand, letting him squeeze when he needed.

Gail wiped the wound with a clean cloth and a daub of antiseptic.  “Looks like you’ll need stitches.  You’re lucky this just grazed your arm, you know.”

“Yes ma’am, I know.”

“I’ll be right back with the stitches.  You know we don’t have any painkillers to numb the area, right?”

Bill winced again, but nodded.  “Yes, ma’am,” he said again.

When Gail left the room, Sarah said, “Squeeze my hand as hard as you need to.  I’ll get you back when I have this baby.”

Bill grinned slightly at that. 

Gail showed back up with a bent needle and thread and Bill stopped grinning.

He tried to steel himself for the stitches, but each one stung as it pierced the already tender skin.  He squeezed Sarah’s hand tightly, jerking slightly each time the needle punched through.

Six stitches.  Twelve times Gail punched a hole in his skin.  His whole arm felt like it was on fire.

 

Gail doused him with antiseptic again and placed a gauze pad over the stitches before she wrapped Bill’s arm with what looked like old linens.  They still had a faint floral pattern on them.

She turned to Sarah, who was massaging her hand.  “I’ll send home a couple more wraps and some gauze with you.  Keep it clean, alcohol if you can, hot water if you can’t.  Boil the wraps before you reuse them.  And bring them back when you’re finished.”

Sarah nodded, making a mental note of all that.  At least she was taking Bill home with her.  From the looks of the other rooms, not everyone was going home tonight.  Or ever, maybe.

 

Sarah took Bill’s good hand and led him out into the cold night air.  He shivered. 

“What happened to your coat?”

“Oh!  It’s in Gray’s truck still.”  Bill had forgotten all about it.

“Let me get it.”  Sarah went over to the truck – doors still wide open from their rush to get Harry inside – and found Bill’s jacket in the passenger floorboard.  She stuck her finger through the hole the bullet made.  “Guess this one’s ruined.  Good thing it’s not as cold during the day now.”

“I’ve still got one at home,” Bill pointed out.  “And I can see if we’ve still got extras at work.”

“Okay, but you’re sewing the patches on when your arm heals.”  Sarah grinned at Bill.

He couldn’t help but grin back.  “Yes’m.”  Bill put on the coat, moving his right arm gingerly.  The heavy coat pressed against his wound and made it pulse with pain all over again.

Bill wasn’t going to let Sarah know that, though.  He took her hand with his good one and the two of them walked home.

“Wonder what the fallout from this will be?” Sarah asked.

“I don’t know.  New Bern isn’t likely to let this go unanswered, unless the Mayor can work out a deal with them tonight.”

“Guess we’ll just have to see.  And pray.”

~~~

 

The next morning was a rough one.

“Damn it, Bill, you’ve got to sit still if I’m going to change this bandage.”  Sarah sat back on her heels in frustration.

He glared down at the stitches on his right arm.  “You don’t have to do it for me.  I can get it.”

“Sure you can,” Sarah snarked, “and it’ll be lopsided and loose and probably fall off under your shirt.  That’s a brilliant idea!  Just like having a firefight at the mine last night.”

The glare turned to her now.  “It’s not like I _wanted_ to get shot.”

“But you did.”  Sarah held up the fabric strips she’d boiled clean.  “It’s your right shoulder and needs to heal properly.  What if you’ve got to use your shotgun soon?  The recoil will kill you.  Let me do this.”

Bill groaned.  “At least let me clean it.”

Sarah held up the glass of moonshine she’d gotten from Bailey’s and let him dip a cloth in it.  He hissed as he wiped down the still-fresh wound.

Suddenly, she felt the baby.  On instinct, she reached out and pulled Bill’s hand to her belly.  Unfortunately, it was the hurt arm.

“Damn it, Sarah!” he yelped.

She dropped his hand in horror.  “Oh, shit!  I’m sorry!  I just…  The baby...  I didn’t think.”

Bill leaned forward in his chair, touching his forehead to hers.  “It’s okay.  I _do_ want to feel it kick.  Maybe not right this moment, though.”

Sarah bit her lip, trying to look apologetic.  “Yeah.  Probably can’t feel anything anyway.  Soon.”

 

Jimmy sent a deputy to tell Bill to stay home, much to Bill’s consternation.

“I can work,” he groused from his armchair, Sadie in his lap.

“Doing what?” Sarah asked.  “You can’t even write right now.  Better you rest and heal up.”

“I feel like a horse put out to pasture.  It’s just stitches!”

“Bill, you are hardly put out to pasture,” Sarah argued.  “You’re taking a day off to heal.  You know even Sheriff Dawes would have made you stay home today.”

“Sheriff Dawes didn’t have to deal with the shit I do,” Bill complained.  “I’ve got to know what’s going on with New Bern.”

“I’m sure Jimmy will send a runner with anything you need to know.  He may even stop by himself, tonight.” 

Sarah’s calm voice was about to drive Bill mad.  He itched to be up and about and instead, Sarah was moving Sadie aside so she could cover him with a quilt.  Damn it.

Sadie jumped back up in his lap and he petted her idly.  The poor dog had gotten so thin, surviving mostly on birds and squirrels Bill had been able to shoot out of their backyard.  It was hard, figuring out how to feed a dog when the world was upside down, but she was family.  Bill was going to do it, one way or another.

And Sadie was a good nap partner.  If Bill was going to be stuck inside all day, he might as well make the most of it.

 

Sarah watched Bill sleep from the doorway.  He’d look peaceful for a few minutes and then wince in his sleep. 

She hated to see him hurt.  Sarah sympathized with his frustration; she’d felt put out to pasture herself.  She’d finally reached a hypomanic stage – lots of energy, lots of sexual frustration, and an urge to take risks – that coincided with a good period of pregnancy.  Yet now that people could tell she was pregnant, they were trying to protect her.  Keep her from doing work.  Stay at home and rest.

Bill was happy to help her bleed off the sexual frustration, but he was probably the worst at discouraging the rest of her problem.  There was a bit of sweet revenge going on now, but Sarah really did hate to see him laid up yet again. 

Hadn’t he been hurt enough in the last six months?  Why did he have to suffer more?

Sarah walked over and combed her fingers through his hair, trying to get it to lay right on his head.  His bedhead was stubborn today, so it didn’t work. 

She decided that she might as well join Bill in his nap.  She grabbed another quilt from the bedroom and curled up on the couch next to Bill.  She’d hear him when he woke up, surely.

 

Bill woke first, catching Sarah drooling slightly on the couch pillow.  He reached over carefully, as far as his stitches would let him, and patted her on the head. 

“Hey, babe,” he said when she stirred.

“Hey yourself,” she said sleepily.  “Have a good nap?”

“Yeah, I did.  You?”

Sarah rolled on her back and stretched.  “I think so.  Would have been better in bed with you.”

“You’re the one who set me up out here,” Bill pointed out.

“That I did.  Stupid me.”  Sarah sat up and looked outside.  The light was getting low.  “Dinner time,” she said.

“What’s for dinner?”  More oatmeal, probably.

“Couple of eggs and some sprouts.  You need the protein and greens to heal.”

Bill sat forward in his chair, knocking Sadie to the ground.  “No!  That’s for you!”

Sarah gave Bill a stern look.  “Well, now it’s for you.  Until you’re healed.”

Bill gave her a distraught look.  He couldn’t eat that – it was literally taking food from Sarah’s mouth!

She wouldn’t take no for an answer and scrambled them both eggs, with a few bites of sprouts on the side.  Since Sarah was eating the same thing, Bill felt a little better.

Oh God, he hadn’t had eggs in months.  He’d forgotten how delicious they tasted.  Maybe he would eat some more if Sarah offered them.

 

 

They sat in the living room the rest of the evening, Sarah reading aloud from one of her Discworld books. 

Sometime after night fell and they were reading by lantern light, they were interrupted by a knock at the door.  Sarah hopped up – a little awkwardly – to get it.

It was Jimmy, looking dour.

He came in and joined them at the dinner table.  Sarah offered him a drink but he passed.

“Bill, we need you in tomorrow.”

“What’s going on?” Bill asked, perking up.

“Johnston brought Jake and Eric back from New Bern today.  Word from them is that New Bern’s aiming for a war with us.  They’ve been making mortar shells and everything.  We’ve got to make a plan, so we need you there early.”

“Why?” asked Sarah.  “I mean, why is New Bern doing this, not why do you need Bill?”

Jimmy shrugged.  “They didn’t really say.  But I’m sure the firefight last night didn’t help.”

Bill scrunched his face, thinking.  There was that deputy he clocked back when this all started… could that be part of the problem?  He really didn’t know.

“Okay, Jimmy.  I’ll be there.”

Jimmy nodded.  “Early.  They could be coming tonight for all we know.”

Sarah reached out and squeezed Bill’s hand.  “You both be careful, okay?  Whatever happens.”

Bill squeezed back.  “Yes, ma’am.”


	10. March 1st

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 21 - The shelling of Jericho and preparing for war

**March 1 st**

“Nice of you to join us, Bill,” Johnston remarked wryly.

Bill’s ears burned with embarrassment – he hadn’t _thought_ he overslept – but Gray came to his rescue.

“Bill got shot the other night, Johnston.  I’m just glad he’s here at all.”

Bill snuck into the mayor’s office and found a place to stand near the window.  Looking around him, he was the only one who seemed like he’d gotten any sleep at all.  The mayor looked the worst of it – scraggly and scruffy.  No wonder showing up not long after sunrise made him seem late.

“Half an hour to go,” Jake said.  “What are you going to do, Gray?”

“New Bern is demanding we give them seven farms and half the salt mines,” Jimmy whispered, “or else they’re going to invade us.”

“Invade us?” Bill asked.  “What does that mean?”

“No one knows.”

Gray leaned forward in his desk.  “The deputies are already out getting the farm owners.  We’ll let them know what’s coming,” Gray said wearily.  “The Rangers are on our perimeter.  I don’t know what else we can do.”

“Have we sent scouts out to New Bern to watch what they’re doing?” Bill asked.

Gray shook his head.  “We don’t have the men to spare.  I need everyone at a checkpoint.  Everyone except you guys,” he said, looking at the Rangers in the room: Jake, Hawkins, Jimmy, Bill, and two other of their best guys.  “You’re my core team.”

Johnston rolled his eyes.

 

“Constantino said four hours.”  Gray looked at the radio on his desk expectantly.

“It’s already been four hours,” Jimmy said.

Everyone waited silently, watching the radio in case it came to life.

Stanley strode into the room, a frown still on his face.

“What do we hear from the Rangers?” Hawkins asked.

“Runners came in.  They haven’t seen anything,” Stanley said, worried.

“Should we call Constantino?” Bill asked.

“I don’t have anything to tell him,” Gray said.  “And I’m not just going to give the town away.”

A sharp whine pierced the air, hurting Bill’s ears.  He looked towards the window, where the sound was coming from.

“Get away from the windows!” Johnston yelled.  Bill jumped forward just as there was an explosion and glass flew at him.

His ears rang and everything seemed muffled. 

He didn’t hear the second explosion, but he felt it.

When Bill looked up, he could tell there was glass in his face, probably from the first explosion.  He slowly picked out the large pieces, one of which barely missed his eye.

His ears still ringing, Bill looked around him.  Johnston had already left the room, but Gray was gesturing for him to follow.  Bill got to the floor carefully and followed Johnston into the street.

There was chaos.  Two big craters were in the center of the square.  It looked like what Bill’s grandfather had described mortar holes looking like.

Mortars?  They were hitting them with mortars?

How could Jericho stand a chance against that?

 

The explosions rocked the house, sending Sarah scrambling to catch pictures that fell off the wall.

What could make Jericho rock like that?

Sarah knew she couldn’t just sit at home and wait to find out, so she grabbed her concealed carry gun – a small .38 revolver – and ran out, stuffing it in the small of her back.  Her clothes fit tightly and the gun was uncomfortable, but she wasn’t leaving home without it.

She headed toward Town Hall.

 

Bill stood in front of Town Hall, instructing citizens to get away from downtown and get inside.  “C’mon, people, you need to move!” he shouted.

In his peripheral vision, he saw someone running _towards_ him, so he turned and braced himself. 

It wasn’t a New Bern man come to attack, though – it was Sarah.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he yelled, before she made it close to him.

Sarah looked at the craters in wonder.  “I came to see what happened.”

“Are you crazy?” Bill asked.  “What made you run _toward_ the sound of bombs?”

Sarah knew the answer was at least partially her hypomania, but she couldn’t help but answer, “You.  Had to check on you.”

Bill rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.  “You can’t come out here every time something happens!  You need to be home, in the basement, in case more mortars come.”

“Mortars?  More are coming?” Sarah asked.

“Yes!  In forty-five minutes, so you need to get back home.”

“Where are you going to be?” she asked, concerned.

“In the fallout shelter with Gray and Jimmy.  I’ll be fine,” Bill insisted.

Sarah reached out and touched his temple where he’d gotten cut.  “You need that looked at, babe.”

Bill winced at her touch, but only because of the lingering glass fragments on his skin.  “Don’t touch me.  You might get glass on you.”

“Bill!  You have glass on your face and you’re bleeding!  You need to be looked at.”  Sarah grabbed his hand and jerked him across the street to Bailey’s, which was also still reeling from the explosions.  “Mary, I need to borrow some soap water from your dishwashing setup,” Sarah said.

Mary took one look at Bill and agreed.

The two stepped behind the counter and Sarah made Bill lean over the sink while she poured a glass of water over the side of his face.  She gently wiped him dry with a napkin, brushing off the remaining glass.  Sarah rinsed the napkin well and dipped it in the soapy water.  “It’ll probably still bleed, but I’ll feel better knowing I tried,” she said as she dabbed at the cut over Bill’s eye.

Bill flinched as the soapy water stung his cut, but he was grateful for Sarah’s careful attentions.  He knew he wouldn’t have had time to go to the clinic and there were people hurt worse than him.  It felt nice to have someone care _just_ about him.

Sarah was always good for that.  He hoped he returned the favor well enough.

“You’ve got to go home,” Bill said when Sarah was done.

“Can’t I come to the shelter with you?” she asked.

“No, it’s just Gray and a few men.  I can’t bring you,” he said, pained.  “But our basement should be safe enough.  Stay down there.  Please.”

Sarah sighed.  “Okay.  I’ll head home.  But you be careful.  Come home to me tonight.”

“I promise I will.”  Bill gave Sarah a quick kiss and headed back to the shelter.

He hoped he wasn’t lying.

 

Bill stood by in the shelter, listening as Stanley radioed in, describing the mortar guns New Bern.  The whole room was silent as Gray talked to him.

Silent, at least, until Johnston started giving Gray advice.

Bill knew what was coming next – the advice may be good, but Gray did not handle criticism well when he was stressed.

“Johnston, you can stay or you can go, but how this happens is my call!” Gray insisted frantically.

Eric grabbed for the radio, trying to tell Stanley not to attack the mortars without scouting the area first, and all hell broke loose.  The Rangers that Gray kept behind pulled their guns.

Bill started to step in, but before he could, both sides were separated.  He stayed still, not wanting to exacerbate the situation.

Good God, everything was going wrong today.  Rangers pulling their guns on Johnston and Eric Green, Stanley being sent to attack three mortar guns without even scouting the area, and New Bern, of all places, attacking them. 

The room stood in silence, staring at the radio, waiting for Stanley’s call.

After a few minutes – the time limit for the next mortar rounds to be fired – Bill glanced up at Gray.  “How do we know if it worked?” he asked. 

Please, let it have worked.  Let Stanley be okay, he thought.

Gray shook his head.  He didn’t know.

Three explosions in a row rocked Town Hall.  Even in the basement shelter, Bill was almost knocked off his feet.

Gray grabbed the radio, yelling Stanley’s name.

He didn’t answer.

 

Everyone sat in silence.  Gray looked shaken, as if he’d never expected his decision to be wrong.

Bill glowered.  If Gray got Stanley killed… well, Bill didn’t know what he’d do.  But something would have to change.

A voice came over the radio weakly.  “This is Stanley.  We’re back in town.”

Bill almost ran over Johnston and Jake in an effort to get upstairs and outside.

Stanley and three other Rangers limped pitifully into the square.  Bill didn’t even notice the destruction around him; he was too focused on the fact Stanley was alive.

“Where’s everybody else?” asked Johnston, as Jake helped Stanley sit on the curb.

Stanley stammered out a brief recap of what he’d gone through.  “They wouldn’t stop firing… they’re all dead.”

Bill was rocked back on his heels.  Stanley had taken ten men with him and only three were still alive?  How could they counter New Bern if they were this brutal?

Jake turned and leapt at Gray.  “You son of a bitch!” he seethed, grabbing Gray by the throat.

Bill jumped in to the middle, helping pull Gray back to safety, then standing between him and Jake.

Johnston pulled Jake away and led him off to Bailey’s tavern, followed by Emily and Eric.

Bill was left standing in the middle of the road with Jimmy, separating the two groups.

How had it come to this?

Bill tapped Gray’s shoulder and led him back inside.  “We need to see if Constantino is on the radio again.”

 

Gray had given up, Bill realized, heart sinking. 

Gray sent runners to all the farm owners.  They had another hour before more mortars came and he wanted to talk to them all.

The farmers trickled in, shocked at the scene on Main Street.  Gray worked his business magic and slowly, put together a deal with Constantino.  Seven farms came together. 

Bill gulped.  They were really giving the town away.  How much more would New Bern demand next?

Jimmy snuck out as soon as the seventh farmer said yes.  Bill had a feeling he was going to tell Johnston.

Ten minutes later, Bill sat at the table with Gray.  The mayor was hunched in over himself, obviously not happy with what he was doing.

Bill wasn’t happy either, but… this was his job, he reminded himself.  In the absence of a sheriff, he had to follow the directives of the mayor, whoever he may be.  However good or bad a job he may be doing. 

Granted, Bill had his lines he wouldn’t cross, but he didn’t know what they were in this situation.  He would refuse to do anything unjust, but… he didn’t know what that was right now.  Was it more just to surrender or to let New Bern keep shelling?

They couldn’t fight New Bern, could they?  Maybe Gray was right.

Bill hung his head.  Part of him missed Johnston Green and his military training.

He looked up to see Jimmy leading in Eric and Stanley.  Great, another confrontation.  “Jimmy, why’d you bring Eric in here?” he asked, standing up.

Eric and Stanley pleaded with Gray not to make the deal.  Gray pushed them off.

“I need you to leave,” Gray said, curling back in on himself.

Bill watched the Rangers try to push Eric and Stanley out of the room, yelling.  When they pushed back, the Rangers pulled their guns.

Quickly, Bill yelled “Calm down!” and pulled his gun, too.  His heart sunk some more, realizing he had to aim at Eric, because Eric was aiming at Gray.  Jimmy was off to his side, aiming at the Rangers.

How had they come to this?

“Put your guns down now!” Bill continued to yell.  “Just calm down!  Everybody!”  No one could hear him over the rest of the shouting.

Finally Eric’s voice broke through.  “We have men out there!”

Gray looked shocked.  He forced the Rangers to lower their weapons and everyone else followed suit.

“Who is out there and what are they doing?” yelled Gray.

“Jake, Hawkins, my dad.  And they’re going to try and take out the mortars,” Eric replied.

“Just the three of them?  What do they think they’re gonna do?” Gray asked.

“You _cannot_ give up those farms,” Stanley insisted.  Bill knew he was right.

“We can’t fight.  You saw what happened this morning.  We’re not ready for this,” argued Gray and Bill knew he was also right.  So what did they do?

Suddenly Stanley was talking men and fuel and maps…  Where had all this come from?

“Jonah Prowse is fighting with us.  He’s got about thirty men fighting with him.  Thirty men!” Eric said.

“Well, they could get us all killed!” said Gray frantically.

The radio crackled.  “This is New Bern.  Mayor Anderson, are you there?”

“Don’t go near that radio, Gray,” warned Eric.

Gray was ready to tell Constantino everything, Bill realized.  Thank God Eric was there to talk some sense into him.

“Buy us some time to take out those mortars.  Negotiate with Constantino,” Eric implored.

Gray looked lost, but after a few moments, he came to himself.  He picked up the radio and became the businessman again, negotiating a deal for his salt mine.

Bill breathed a sigh of relief.  He was still nervous, but at least the mayor was back in his element.

Negotiations with Constantino didn’t last long, but Bill had to admit Gray did a good job trying to prolong them.

The problem was, the mortar teams were still out there and they didn’t know what Johnston and his men were doing.

“Thirty seconds, Gray,” said Constantino through the radio, “or I send more mortars.”

“We almost have deal here, Phil,” protested Gray.  “Come on!”

No response.

 

Thirty seconds passed.  Then minutes.  No news from either New Bern or Jericho’s own guys.

“Oh, what’s he doing?” asked Gray, fretting again.

“Why hasn’t he fired the mortars?” asked Eric, pacing the room.

Stanley looked up.  “Did we take them out?”

Bill shook his head.  “He would have come back on the radio.”

As if on cue, Johnston walked tiredly into the room.  “We took out the mortars.”

“ _Hell_ yeah,” Bill said, standing up.

The radio crackled again.  “Gray, are you there?” Constantino growled.  “Now you’ve brought this on yourself.  There’s no deals, no mercy.  We’re coming.  This means war.”

Bill took a deep breath.  They weren’t ready for this.  What were they going to do?

The first thing that happened next surprised Bill.  Gray turned off the radio and asked Johnston Green for help.

Johnston offered Gray his hand.

Bill knew there wasn’t any hope for them, but he felt a sense of pride and relief well up in him anyway.

Johnston Green was back in charge.

 

New Bern coming to attack.  War with their neighbors.  Everyone over sixteen fighting. 

Johnston made a good speech, but this was still a hell of a lot to process.

Sarah hung back from the crowd, watching Jake and Hawkins hand out firearms.  Bill took two, passing one on – but what did he need that for?  Wasn’t he going to use one of his own, the ones he’d practiced with and lovingly cared for?

She frowned as he threaded back through the crowd, rifle slung over his shoulder.  “Bill, what–”

He cut her off with a forceful kiss, one hand pulling her close and the other pressed to her belly.  “I’ve got to be back here early in the morning.  Sooner if New Bern shows up tonight.  Either way, we don’t have much time.  I want to spend it with you.”

Oh God, that sounded so dire – but then, so was the expression on his face.

 

Sarah let Bill lead her home, gripping her hand tightly as they walked in silence.  She thought he’d go straight to bed, considering how late it was already, but he took her to the garage instead.

Bill unlocked the gun safe and gently handed her his best shotgun and two hip cases of shells.  “Constantino’s still a sheriff; I don’t _think_ he’d hurt a deputy’s wife, but I also never thought he’d attack us.  I’d say leave town and get away if they overrun us but there’s nowhere to go, so you stay here tomorrow.  Inside.  If they come, play up their sympathies over being pregnant, but use this if you need to.  Don’t hold back.”

“No.”  Sarah shook her head, horrified.  “Jake said everyone over sixteen.  I can shoot.  Your arm is still healing.  I need to be out there, too.  I should go with you.”

Bill gripped her shoulders briefly.  “You can’t.  _I_ can’t– I need you to be as safe as possible.  There’s too much at stake.”

He touched her belly tenderly as he spoke and Sarah’s heart sunk.  He was right.  If it was just her, she’d stand beside him in a heartbeat.  But with the baby…

“I can’t do this again, Bill,” she begged, tears coming to her eyes.  “I can’t stay here and not know if you’re safe, if you’re alive.  You said never again.  Please don’t ask me to do this.”

He leaned down, resting his forehead against hers.  “I don’t have a choice.”

“Yes, you do.  Stay here.  Stay safe.  Don’t make me wonder.”

“Sarah, you know better than that.”  Bill sighed and pulled back to kiss the top of her head, holding her close.  “I get it now, you know.  All that stuff my grandfather said about knowing he had to enlist.  I don’t know that we can win tomorrow, but I have to try.  If there’s even the smallest chance I can help stop them from coming into Jericho – if I can keep you safe – I’ve got to take it.  It doesn’t matter what happens to me if I can do that.”

“It matters, Bill.  It matters a lot.”  Sarah clung to his shirt, trying not to let her breath hitch, trying not to cry. 

Gently, Bill guided her inside and upstairs to bed.

 

They didn’t sleep as much as they should have.  The air in the bedroom was ominously heavy, or maybe that was just the clenching pressure in Sarah’s chest. 

She clung to Bill desperately, as if she could somehow protect him through sheer force of will.  He never let go, wrapping himself around her, face pressed to her belly.  She ran fingers through his hair and wept as he whispered almost inaudibly to the baby; awake and kicking now as if it understood. 

It felt like goodbye.


	11. March 2nd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 22 & part of 2-01. War comes to Jericho, but not alone.

**March 2 nd**

BIll woke her at dawn with a kiss.

Sarah grabbed his arm, half-awake.  “Don’t leave, Bill.”

“I have to.  And you have to stay here,” he said softly.  He gave her forehead a quick kiss before rolling out of bed.

Sarah sat up slowly, watching him get ready.  Bill moved slowly, as if he didn’t want to leave either.  He pulled on khaki pants – work-around-the-house pants – and Sarah realized that today, there were no deputies in Jericho.  Just poorly prepared soldiers.

Oh, what were they going to do?  Why was New Bern attacking them?  Why did she have to send her husband off to battle?

Bill slipped into a well-worn green flannel shirt.  It was his favorite, Sarah knew, soft and pliant.  She ached to grab onto it and never let go.

“Are you sure you have to go?”

A flash of pain crossed Bill’s face.  “Babe, you know I have to.”

Susan stared at him.  “Then you be careful.  You do _whatever_ it takes to come home to me.  I can’t do this without you; I’m not strong enough.”

He kissed her again.  “Yes, you are.  You’re stronger than you think.”  Bill pulled back and stared.  “ _Jesus_ , Sarah.  I love you.  Both of you.”

With a final caress of her cheek, he slipped away before she could think of what to say.  Sarah watched from the window and tried to convince herself it wasn’t the last time he would walk down their drive.  Tried to forget he said nothing about returning.

 

Bill waited in the sheriff’s office, looking at both Gray and Johnston for a clue on what he should be feeling.

All he felt was a pit in his stomach.  He didn’t really think they could win this.  They had to try, though.  He wished he’d spent longer with Sarah this morning, but it hurt too much to look at her and know it was the last time.

He wished he had more time.

“They took Talbot’s farm,” announced Jake as he entered the room, fresh from the checkpoints.

“How many men?” asked Hawkins, joining the group at a map of Jericho, marked with each update from the Rangers.

“I’d say sixty, seventy?  That’s probably just an advance team.  I’d imagine they have more than that up the road in reserve.”

“Constantino has us outnumbered and outgunned,” said Johnston.  “If we split our force and try to defend each one of these farms, he’s gonna overwhelm us.”

“So what are you saying?” asked Gray.

“I’m saying we don’t split up.  We choose a place to stand together, deliver a good, hard counterpunch.  Let them know that if they intend to take from us, it’s gonna cost them dearly.”

Bill looked up from the map.  “How?” he asked.

“Well, right here,” said Johnston, tapping the map.  “Stanley Richmond’s farm.  It’s the last place before this road divides and they start taking ground faster than we can keep up.  Plus which it’s the highest point in the whole area.  There’s where we make our stand.”

Bill nodded.  That made perfect sense and gave them a slight tactical advantage.  Maybe they could hold out long enough to tire out Constantino.

 

Sarah stared out the window for a long time, praying that some miracle would bring Bill walking back down the street – maybe New Bern called a truce, maybe Sheriff Constantino had been overthrown in the night, maybe a sudden sinkhole buried the New Bern camp, maybe Mayor Anderson worked out a deal – but all she saw were her neighbors slowly trickling downtown.

She tore herself away from the window and forced herself to get dressed.  Bill said play up being pregnant, so she put on some of her tighter clothes, but she pulled one of his flannels on over everything.  The shirt smelled of lye soap and of Bill.  He would be with her in some form today, at least. 

Sarah tried to keep busy, to keep distracted, but to no avail.  She read, she cleaned, she tried to sleep.  She reorganized the bookshelves by the Dewey Decimal system.  She tried to write a letter that maybe someday could be mailed to her parents – but she found herself drifting off in thought during every task.  Where was Bill now?  Were they surrounded by New Bern?  Were they making a stand somewhere?  Had fighting started?  Who was hurt already?  Was Bi– was anyone dead?

By midmorning, she could no longer stand it.  Bill said stay, but she had to leave the house.  Being cooped up with no information was killing her, working her into a panic.  Maybe if she went down to City Hall, someone would know something.  There would be warning if she needed to retreat back home.

Sarah pulled Bill’s shirt tighter around her – a few more weeks and even these wouldn’t fit her anymore – and dug out her revolver.  It wasn’t as effective as the shotgun, but it was _something_ and it could be concealed.  With a last guilty look back at the house, Sarah left.

 

Bill packed the town’s dingy red truck with ammo boxes and guns.

“Oh, Bill, wanted to talk to you,” Johnston said as he came out of the building.

Bill gulped.  Johnston always made him feel like he was a kid in trouble.  “Yes, sir?”

“You and Stanley played around with that tank, didn’t you?”

How did he know about that?  “Yes, sir.”

“Good.  I want the two of you to hold that tank in reserve and then fire it for us.  We have one round for it, so we need to make it count.”

Bill couldn’t believe he was being _told_ to take out the tank.  He also couldn’t believe he was going to use it against people.  He nodded enthusiastically.

He needed to do something before he left, though.

Town Hall was filling with people – some waiting for news, some waiting for instruction – and he found both Bonnie and Mimi there.  Bonnie looked natural with her shotgun – Bill was proud of how well she shot – but Mimi looked like she had no clue what to do with her rifle.

“We’re headed out,” he told them. 

“Stanley told us to stay in the town,” Mimi said, worried.

Bill nodded.  “We need people in reserve.  He’s right.  But I wanted to let you know that he and I will be in the tank, not on the front lines.”

Bonnie and Mimi both relaxed visibly.  “You be careful,” Bonnie said.

“I will,” Bill promised.  He turned to the rest of the crowd inside the lobby.  “All right you guys, anyone who wants a ride to the fun, come with me.”

 

Sarah didn’t know what she’d expected to find downtown, but the eerie silence that filled the square wasn’t it. 

There were people scattered around, mostly leaning against the buildings and casting worried looks off to the east.  No one talked; the only sounds were the wind and the rustling of clothing as people shifted in place.  Sarah moved through the nervous crowd – both the refugees who had wandered into Jericho and the people who had become her neighbors over the past six years – and ducked inside Town Hall.

Thankfully, the building wasn’t as quiet.  People talked, mostly in hurried murmur, and the radio in the Mayor’s office crackled, though Sarah couldn’t make out what it said.  It felt like a funeral visitation, hushed and reverent, but at least there were signs of life.

Bonnie and Mimi stood by the door to the mayor’s office, Mimi apparently relaying to Bonnie what she could hear from inside.  Sarah caught their attention and slipped over to them.

Bonnie immediately greeted her with a hug.  “Where have you been?” she asked, signing as she went.

“Home.  Bill didn’t want me out here.”  Sarah signed haltingly as she spoke – the language had never come easily to her – and then touched her belly in explanation.  “What have they said on the radio?”

Mimi glanced at her, concerned.  “It isn’t good.  They’re trying to stop the advance at the farm, but New Bern outnumbers us.”

“Stanley and Bill are in the tank,” Bonnie added hopefully.

Oh, good.  Surely New Bern didn’t have anything that could outgun the tank.  Sarah leaned against the wall by Bonnie, closing her eyes and trying to hold on to that hope while the radio buzzed.

 

Bill stood in the open hatch of the tank, listening to the sounds of battle over the hill.  “Is that mortar loaded yet?”

Gray gave him a look.  “We’re trying, you know.”

Bill rapped nervously on the tank.  He was ready to take the tank out there and stop the fighting.

Johnston looked up at him.  “Be patient, Bill.”

“Got it!” Stanley said, poking out of his hatch.  “Says it’s armed!”

Johnston and Gray quickly backed away from the end of the tank’s gun.

“You go back to the farmhouse, Gray.  You stay safe for this town,” instructed Johnston.

This time, Gray didn’t even argue.  He set off on a roundabout route around the battlefield.

“Into the hatch, Bill,” Johnston instructed.  “Stanley, I’ll follow you, son.”

Bill squeezed down into the hatch hole, glad he wasn’t a bigger man – it was cramped enough as it was.  He locked the hatch above him and then stomped on the floor to let Stanley know he was ready.

There probably was a better way to communicate built into the tank, Bill thought, but they hadn’t had time to deal with that. 

The tank lurched as it went over the rise and down the hill.  Stanley drove them into the no man’s land between the sides and stopped.

That was Bill’s cue.  He turned the gun to face the New Bern men and was glad to see them already running away.  He aimed carefully at the closest truck and fired.

It was a direct hit.  The truck went up in flames and the last of the New Bern men disappeared around the bend.

Bill opened his hatch, grateful for the fresh air and the cheering he heard from his own people.  “Did you see what I just did?” he crowed.

“Holy crap,” said Stanley.  “That was… holy crap.”

“All right, that bought us some time,” Jake instructed, walking up to the front of the tank.  “But they’ll be back and there’ll be more of them.  And it won’t be near as easy next time.”

“Easy?” Bill asked.  “You thought that was easy?”

Eric ignored Bill and got his brother’s attention.

Bill followed where he ran and, “Oh shit.”

Johnston had been hit.

 

No real updates came in for a while, though what they heard was unsettling.  Scout reports said New Bern was moving towards the Richmond farm in force, but that no shots had been fired yet. 

Sarah prayed they never would be.

The radio fell silent, which was more terrifying than any news they’d heard yet.  Bonnie reached over and grabbed Sarah’s hand while they waited.  The teenager tried to give her a smile, but Sarah could see the fear sneaking through.  She was sure her expression was the same.

They jumped when the radio crackled to life again.  “ _They opened fire but the tank ran them off.  We have people hurt.  And, uh, and dead.  They’re probably coming back._ ”

Sarah squeezed Bonnie’s hand as Mimi repeated the news to her, stumbling over some of the unfamiliar signs.  She tried not to think about what she’d heard, tried not to imagine who’d been hurt, who’d been killed; tried not to visualize Bill hurt or dying or already dead.

She failed.

Sarah let go of Bonnie and slid down the wall, burying her face in her palms and trying to force herself to draw air.  She wasn’t crying; she was in shock.  The baby kicked and flipped, reacting to her sudden stress.  Sarah let her hands drop, rubbing her belly, and silently begged the baby to stop; the reminder of what losing Bill would mean was too much for her right now. 

She was vaguely aware of people going outside – probably to announce the news to the square – but Sarah was caught inside her own mind until Mimi crouched in front of her.

“Hey, look at me.  They were in the tank.  They’re fine this time.  Come on, get up.”

How could Mimi be so calm and no-nonsense right now?  She was probably right.  She _had_ to be right.  Sarah let herself be pulled back up.

 

When a runner came and took Gail away, they knew Johnston had been injured.  When Gray wandered in, ashen-faced and stunned, they knew Johnston had died.

God, who else?  Whose loved ones _weren’t_ being called to the farm?

“ _They’re here again!_ ”

At the staticky warning, Sarah’s heart clenched.  She couldn’t breathe.  She wasn’t sure she even wanted to anymore.

Please, God.  Send them a miracle.

 

Johnston was dead.  Twenty other Jericho men and women were dead.  Bill wasn’t going to let that happen again.

He hunched behind a pallet with Jimmy, peering through the slats.

“Remember, Jimmy, aim for the squishy bits,” he said, repeating a joke from the Academy.

Jimmy laughed hollowly.

New Bern came around the bend, cloaked in smoke bombs, bigger and more people than before.  Bill knew at once they’d be overrun.  Knew the pallet wouldn’t be enough cover.

It was all he had.  It was his duty to stay.  So he stayed.

Jake yelled a countdown and then they fired.  New Bern fired back with a vengeance.

“ _Jesus_!” he yelled, barely audible over the gunfire.  “How many of them are there?!” 

“Too many!” Jimmy yelled back.

Bill laughed bitterly.  “Just keep going until you run out of bullets or targets, Jimmy!”  There wasn’t much else to do.

Through his scope, he saw a mortar team assemble.  They were about to be hit again – and it was aiming directly towards them.  “Move, Jimmy!” he yelled, scrambling backwards and up the hill.

A familiar sting caught his left wrist, but he didn’t stop to see what had happened.  He knew Jimmy was still behind him though, when he heard a familiar whistle.  He glanced back and Jimmy was still struggling up the hill and then–

BAM!

The mortar hit.  Bill was blown back, ears ringing again.  He scrambled down the hill and dragged Jimmy up and over with strength he didn’t know he had, not noticing the blood pouring or the pain pulsing from his wrist.

His energy left him as soon as he noticed where he’d been shot, across the side of his wrist, bone peeking out.  “Shit!” he said.

“Whazzat?”  Jimmy tried to sit up, but fell back down.  “Ow!  My back!”

Bill stood precariously, but heard another whistle over them.  Not another mortar!

A fighter plane blew by just above the tree line, knock both men flat on their stomachs.  Bill lifted his head to see a line of napalm being laid down between the battle lines.

What in the world…?

 

The first warning was shouting outside.  Sarah’s immediate thought was that New Bern had made it into town, that the farm had been overrun – oh _God_ please no – but someone stuck their head in the door and shouted “Planes!”

Everyone rushed outside, staring at the sky.  There _were_ planes – small fighters – screaming past.  The ground rumbled and an explosion was heard off to the east, followed by billowing black smoke.

Oh, fuck, what was that?  Please don’t let that be the farm.  Please don’t let that be the end of it.  What the hell was happening?  Surely this wasn’t New Bern?

Please no.

A Chinook helicopter roared in, hovering over the square.  People scattered from the force of the downdraft as it slowly set down. 

Men in Army fatigues jumped out, armed and intimidating, and the fake Marines from back in December flashed through Sarah’s mind.  They’d had the tank, but planes and helicopters?  Surely this had to be the real thing.

She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, to be honest.

The rotors slowed to a stop as the armed men trained their rifles on Jericho’s little last-hope militia.  An uneasy hush came over the square again and a man stepped out of the helicopter.  An officer, Sarah thought.

“Jericho!” the man yelled, voice echoing through the street.  “I am Colonel Robert Hoffman of the Tenth Mountain Division.  Put down your weapons; your fight with New Bern is now over.  _We are the United States Army and we are here to help._ ”

…What?

 

Sarah stood on the landing outside Town Hall with Mimi and Bonnie, trying to take in everything they had just learned.  The United States government reformed in Cheyenne, Wyoming, of all places, the army here to ensure peace… that one at least made sense, but there were still so many immediate questions left unanswered.

If New Bern was no longer attacking them, where were the Jericho fighters?  Where were the people who had been hurt or killed?

When would she know about Bill?

Escorted by soldiers, the rest of Jericho’s citizens had trickled into the square:  young children, their caretakers, the younger teenagers, the elderly.  Most of Jericho had been gathered, hemmed in by this strange army, and disarmed – of the visible weapons, at least.  Heeding Bill’s advice, Sarah played up her apparent helplessness and had been overlooked.  Her little revolver remained tucked safely in the small of her back.

There was a slight chance she was overreacting, but she wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t still need it today.

Once more Jericho waited, tense and terrified.  For what, no one was quite sure.  Maybe for this Colonel Hoffman to explain why they were all gathered.  Maybe for news from the battlefield.  Maybe for…

Well, for nothing good, to be honest.  Sarah couldn’t see how _any_ good was going to come out of today.

A rumble from the east got everyone’s attention as trucks – Army flatbeds, not the aging vehicles Jericho had left – drove into the square.  Oh God, what was this?

Sarah’s stomach seized as the trucks rolled by.  In each truck bed, bodies – for they were most definitely dead – had been laid out carefully.  Cleaned of blood, somewhat, but the sight was still gruesome.

Oh no, there was the lady who sat behind them in church and sang loudly off-key.  There was the kid Bonnie had a crush on in ninth grade.  There was the man who lived just down the street and was annoyingly meticulous about his lawn.  And – oh hell – there was her gossipy coworker Jennifer.  And…

Sarah lost count of the people she knew lying there.  Too many, to be sure.  The air filled with cries and sobs and wails as parents and spouses and children recognized their loved ones.  One of the soldiers tried to regain order and give instructions – where they were taking the bodies, how they could be claimed, what families should do once they were released from the square.

All Sarah really registered was that Bill wasn’t one of the dead.

 

Colonel Hoffman came back out and spoke, trying to reassure everyone that they _would_ eventually be allowed to return to their homes – just as soon as they finished assessing exactly what had happened between the two towns and he could trust that no further hostilities would break out today.  There would be a military presence left in Jericho indefinitely to ensure that peace, however shaky, would last.

Sarah wondered cynically what else they would be ensuring.

As the colonel finished speaking, another group of trucks showed up – many more than before.  Sarah braced herself for more horror, but these trucks actually brought relief.  Riding on the back were those who had survived – some unscathed, some who seemed to have only minor injuries bandaged.

Her heart jumped a little at each person she recognized; every one a cause for celebration.  Emily and Eric and Mary and oh, there were the Drummonds who lived next door, and… and the trucks were full, but there were still too few people climbing down from the beds.  Too many faces that should have been there weren’t.

Bill wasn’t here, either.

Sarah dashed down the stairs – catching the attention of a soldier who told her to slow down, but she didn’t listen – and grabbed at Emily’s arm.  “Where’s everyone else?  What happened?”

Emily looked to be in shock still, staring at Sarah blankly for a few seconds.  She shook herself.  “They’re, uh, they’re still out there.  They kept everyone who was hurt.”

Sarah’s breath caught.  Hurt?  Did that mean…?  “Bill?” she asked, panicky.

Emily nodded.  “Shot.  Jimmy, too.  There’s a field hospital.”

 _Shot_.  Oh God.  Oh God.  No, that couldn’t be right.  Bill was supposed to be in this group; she’d _told_ him to come back to her.

But she hadn’t said come back _safe_.

Oh God, she had to get out there.  She had to see how badly he was hurt.  She had to see him, she had to check on Ji– Oh God, she’d completely put Jimmy out of her mind.  Stanley, too.  And Margaret and Bonnie and Mimi.  She could barely hold them in her head now; her mind was dancing around a single thought.

Bill was alive now, but what if he died before she saw him again?

Sarah turned away from Emily, stumbling back to the east.  She had to get out there, she could walk there in thirty minutes and maybe that would be enough time, maybe she would see Bill–

“Ma’am, you can’t leave.”

A soldier stood in her path.  Sarah tried to go around him but he stuck an arm out, physically blocking her.  Pushing against his arm, she looked up, wild-eye and pleading.  “My husband.  He isn’t back, I have to go see, I need to go see!” 

There _was_ sympathy in his expression.  “Ma’am, I can’t let you leave, not until Colonel Hoffman or Major Beck gives the order.  If your husband was hurt, he’s being taken care of, I promise.  We will get him back here as soon as it’s safe.”

 _As soon as it’s safe_.  Why wasn’t it safe now?  Why couldn’t she leave?  How badly was he hurt?  Oh God.  He was alive, Emily said he was still alive, she needed him here.  She needed to _know_.

Sarah managed to take a few steps back, leaning against a wall before the panic really took over.  Some part of her knew that she was starting to hyperventilate.  If she wasn’t getting enough air then neither was the baby.  But she couldn’t control that now.  She could just sink to the ground and maybe the world would stop spinning.  Maybe she would wake up and find out this had all been a nightmare,.  Maybe Bill had never left.  Maybe he would miraculously show up.

Of course, he didn’t.

 

No Jericho citizen had noticed Sarah’s panic –she’d been off to the edges of downtown and everyone was still entangled in their own pain or relief.  It was the same soldier who knelt down and helped her breathe again, escorting her back inside.

Sarah sat in the antechamber to the mayor’s office now.  It was a thoroughfare, but a quiet and dark one – Gray was talking with Colonel Hoffman in the main office, disturbed only occasionally by runners and couriers.  She clutched the water bottle she’d been given, trembling slightly and forcing herself through breathing exercises.  She tried to focus on what was happening to her, inside her, so that she didn’t think about what might be happening out there.

Why was she so wound up?  She’d felt so dead inside that first night when Bill didn’t come home.  Today was the opposite; she was bursting from the worry and fear and stress. 

Maybe it was the knowledge that Bill was heading off into danger.  Maybe it was knowing he was hurt, but not how.  Maybe it was cumulative stress from the past days and weeks.  Hell, maybe it was the pregnancy hormones – the baby had certainly been moving nonstop today, making sure she was constantly aware of just what was at stake.

Their battle had lasted half a day – a day and a half if you counted yesterday’s shelling.  How did people live day in and day out in war zones or as military spouses?  She certainly wasn’t cut out for this; she was barely fit to be a cop’s wife.  Bill was wrong.  She _wasn’t_ strong enough.

 

Sarah sat behind the desk, face buried in her hands, when Gray and Hoffman stepped out of the office.  Gray paused when he noticed her, motioning for the colonel to go on ahead.

“They radioed from the farm.  The US are sending most of the people who got hurt back now,” he said brusquely, as if he really didn’t want to be saying it at all.  “But they want some people’s family members to come out there.  Bill’s one of them.  I don’t know why, sorry.”

Sarah’s stomach lurched and she felt the fear creeping back in.  She nodded, trying to push the panic down.  “What do I do?”

Gray glanced outside.  “They’re sending a truck or two back out.  You can catch a ride.  And Sarah?”

She froze, halfway to standing.

“I hope Bill’s okay.”  Gray looked down quickly, shutting the door behind him as he left.

 

The ride out was quiet; four people sick with worry riding in the back of an army truck weren’t prone to idle discussion. 

Margaret sat in the seat beside Sarah, eyes red-rimmed from crying.  It was a big change from her friend’s usual take-charge attitude and Sarah wasn’t quite sure what to do or even if she _could_ do anything.  It wasn’t as if she was in much better shape.  Being called out to the field hospital had only resurrected the fears that Bill wasn’t going to make it.  Or that he’d already died.

Oh God, she couldn’t think about that.

As much for her own sake as Margaret’s, Sarah reached over and grabbed her hands, squeezing tightly.

 

The field hospital stood in the flat areas beyond Stanley’s fields.  They drove slowly past the farm; the road was littered with the remains of pallets and vehicles that had been used as cover, potholes that hadn’t existed before and… and blood stains soaked into the dirt.

The sight was too much and Sarah turned away from the window.  How had New Bern been driven to do this to them?  How much had both towns lost?  How could things ever be normal again?  This was even more disturbing than the bombs.

The truck pulled up in front of the tents and a couple soldiers helped them down.  Sarah hung back, not wanting to be the first inside, not sure what she was there to see or hear.  She had to go in sometime, though, so she took a deep breath and ducked inside the flap with everyone else.

She’d half expected something out of M*A*S*H, dim and roughshod, but the tent was well-lit and clean.  It was… well, it felt like a hospital.

A young uniformed man approached her and asked her name.  When she told him, he looked down at her belly – Sarah put a hand on it, feeling exposed – and smiled a little.  “Should have known.  Follow me; we’ve got your husband in a room back here.”

Okay, the soldier wasn’t immediately somber.  That had to be good news, right?

 

It _had_ been good news.

Bill had a burst eardrum and had been grazed by a bullet or two and hit with flying bits of wood – consequences of using a shipping pallet as cover, apparently – but he’d taken one bullet through his left forearm near the wrist.  The doctors had given him minor surgery and said it’d probably heal cleanly if he took care of it.

That was why they’d called Sarah out to the hospital; Bill was in absolutely no condition to remember any instructions. 

Sarah cried in relief when she saw Bill awake and relatively well, but her tears were soon from laughing.  He was still feeling the effects of the anesthesia and was practically soaring.  He sat on the bed, grinning goofily and babbling nonstop. 

“See?” he slurred proudly, looking at the nurse trying to talk to Sarah.  “Is my wife.  Pretty.  Toldja.  Baby too.  Gonna be a _dad_.”

She smiled at Sarah, pausing in her instructions.  “He’s told us quite a bit about you.  All good, of course.”

“Oh God,” Sarah groaned, hiding her eyes in embarrassment.  She motioned for the nurse to keep going with the aftercare information.

Bill didn’t seem to notice, waving his bandaged hand at her.  “We match.  Sarah, look.  We match!”

What?  Sarah caught his arm lightly, but he pulled it away and pointed at her left hand.  Oh, that made sense.  “Yeah, babe.  We’re gonna have matching scars.  Now hang on, I need to listen, okay?” 

 

A truck would take them back home as soon as Bill was steady enough to walk.  By the look of things, though, that was going to take a while.

Sarah sat on the edge of his bed, doing her best to keep him from knocking things over as he gesticulated wildly.  Bill was currently trying to recount all that had happened at the farm, complete with sound effects.  He was particularly enthusiastic about firing the tank, nearly falling off the bed while attempting to reenact it.  It took every bit of self-control Sarah had to not just sit back and laugh at him.

Most of the time, she was able to follow his storytelling.  Other parts, Sarah just couldn’t quite figure out what he was trying to tell her.  Some of them, she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

“An’ Jake!  Nuts!  Like that guy an’ German nuts.  Jake’s nuts.”

Oh God, she really didn’t want to hear any more about Jake’s anythings.  Sarah laid a finger on Bill’s mouth, only partially silencing him.  “Got it, babe.  What happened next?”

Bill kept babbling, making machine gun noises every now and again.  He made it to the part of the story where he got shot – rather, when he _noticed_ he’d been shot – and grinned even wider, waving his arms in her face again.

“I fought.  Made a stand.  Protected you.  Kept us safe.  Like Grandpa did.  Not as big.  Not as great.  But now he’d be proud!”

Oh God, Bill and the way he hero-worshiped his grandfather.  Sarah’s heart clenched and she smiled softly.  “Bill, honey, he’d have already been proud of you.  Long before I met you,” she said, gently brushing hair out of his face.

“Earned it now.  Didn’t before.”  Bill looked at her earnestly – or as earnestly as possible when he couldn’t focus on any one thing for more than a second.  “From you too.  Brave like you now.”

Sarah frowned.  “What?  I’m not brave, Bill.  I’m a wimp.  You’ve always been braver than me; that’s why you’re a cop and I’m a librarian.”

Bill shook his head.  “Nuh-uh.  You do stuff.  Climb rocks an’ trees an’ ropes.  You go lots of places.  An’ you moved away.  Stuff tha’ scares me.  But you can be proud now.  I did something.  Like you.  Like Grandpa.”

Sarah couldn’t help it; she laughed in Bill’s face.  “That stuff doesn’t make me brave.  A whole lot of it makes me pretty stupid.  Don’t you remember when I fell?”

He looked sad.  “My fault.  I hurt you.”

“Oh God, you don’t still think that, do you?  You didn’t make me fall.”  Sarah held his face in her hands, trying to catch his eyes.  “Bill, I have _always_ been proud of you.  I’ve _always_ thought you were brave.  I’ve wanted to be more like you.”

“Really?”

“Really.  Just look at everything you’ve done since the bombs.”  Sarah leaned forward and kissed his forehead.  “I was so scared today, you know.  You sounded like you didn’t believe you’d come home and I thought I’d really lose you and I didn’t know what I’d do.  How’m I supposed to raise a baby without you, hm?  Someone’s got to make sure I don’t take the thing skydiving before it’s one.”  She grinned weakly at her own joke.

“Was scared, too.  Didn’t think I would.  Thought I’d die.  But I didn’t!”  Bill beamed and clumsily patted at her belly.  “Get to be here.  Baseball an’ tea parties an’ all that.  Gon’ do all that stuff.”

Sarah grabbed his hand, pressing it lightly into her stomach.  “You’d better.  I’m going to hold you to that promise.”

There was no way Bill was going to remember any of this – maybe for the best, considering how embarrassed he’d be – but Sarah definitely wasn’t going to forget.  Potential blackmail aside, this was a really good moment.


	12. The Rest of March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 2-01 and the time between series - Rest, recover, recharge. 'Cause more's coming.

**March 3 rd – April 3rd**

Bill was home safe.  He’d survived the war.  Sarah still had her husband.  There were no words for how grateful she was.

But right now, it was two a.m. and all she could think about was the clingy, bandaged husband snoring in her ear.

That was probably good.  If she wasn’t slightly annoyed, Sarah might think about how easy it would have been to lose him.  For the bullet to have hit him six inches to the right.  For her to be left alone.  For– 

No.  She needed to stop that line of thinking.

Bill snorted and sniffled in her ear, pulling her tight so she couldn’t escape the noise.

“Okay, that’s it,” Sarah muttered.  She’d been through enough the last twenty-something hours; she didn’t need to face the next day without sleep.

As much as it pained her, it was time to admit defeat.  If she was going to get any sleep, she needed to relocate to the guest bed.  Slowly, she extricated herself from Bill’s grasp.

Sarah stopped at the door, watching Bill.  He reached out for her in his sleep.  Sighing, she slid her pillow within his grasp and he pulled it close to him, calming again.

It hurt so much to leave him alone.  Maybe she’d wait up a little bit to see if he was okay. 

 

Floating.

He was floating somewhere warm and dark and it was nice but he needed to open his eyes and it wasn’t working.  He didn’t know why he needed to open his eyes, just that he had to try.

Voices came filtering through the darkness, muffled and garbled.  He wasn’t alone.  People were holding him down.

 _No_!  He didn’t want to be held down; he didn’t know those voices.

Last thing he could remember was an explosion.  He’d been blown back and then…darkness.  So where was he now? 

Had New Bern got him?

He had to get his eyes open.  He had to see.  He tried as hard as he could to will them open, but it didn’t work.

He was stuck.  Was he in the trunk again?  Couldn’t be, no room for people to hold him down.

“NO!” he yelled as loud as he could, an intense feeling of dread falling over him.  “Get _off_ me!”

He fought and thrashed, but he was just pressed down harder until he couldn’t move.

He focused on his eyes again.  Had to get them open.  He focused every minute bit of will he possessed on opening his eyes.

Bill’s eyes fluttered open.

A calm washed over him as he recognized his bedroom and realized no one was holding him down.  It was just a nightmare from waking up after his surgery.

Bill squeezed Sarah tightly, breathing in her scent – wait, no, that was too tight.  He looked down.  A pillow?

Where was Sarah?

 

Sarah stoked the last embers in the fireplace, trying to heat her mug over them to make tea.  It’d calm her nerves and help her sleep, forgetting the stresses of the last few days.

She tested the water and – finally – it was too hot to touch.  Sarah dropped a stale chamomile tea bag in the water and stirred it, wishing for some sweetener.

There was a thump and muffled cursing from down the hall.

Sarah rushed to the bedroom as quickly as she could.  Bill had rolled onto the floor and was trying to get up. 

“Bill, babe, what are you doing up?  You’re supposed to be asleep!  And you’ll bust the stitches on your leg if you keep trying to walk!”

Bill didn’t wait for her to help him.  He hobbled down the hall on his own; awkwardly, but apparently oblivious to pain.  “You weren’ there,” he slurred.  “Coul’n’t fin’ you.”

“Babe, I left because you were snoring in my ear.  But I was only in the living room.  You’re supposed to stay in bed all night.”

“’M up now,” he muttered, limping into the kitchen.  “Need to cl’r my head.  Don’ like this.”

Sarah followed him, at a loss about how to stop him or get him back to bed.

Bill plopped into his usual chair at the breakfast nook and leaned back, trying to focus on Sarah.  “Don’ like this stuff they gave me.  Need it to wear off.  Need to think.”

At a loss for anything else, Sarah grabbed a bottle from their potable water stash and handed it to him.  “That’s what sleep is supposed to do,” she pointed out.

Bill grunted and drank half the bottle in one go.

Sarah sighed.  “If we’re going to be up a bit, let me go get my tea from the living room.”

She stopped in the doorway when she heard a plaintive, “Don’ leave.”

Bill had his good hand out, reaching for her.  “Bad dreams.  Need you.”

Sarah’s heart broke, just a little, and she sat down next to Bill.  “Bad dreams about what?”

“Surg’ry.  The trunk.  Coul’n’t open m’ eyes.  Holdin’ me down.”

Sarah stroked Bill’s arm, covered in goose bumps.  “I’m here, babe.  You survived all those things, okay?  You’re home now.  You’re safe.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”  Sarah kissed Bill’s cheek.  “C’mon, babe, let’s get you back to bed.”

 

Despite Sarah’s desperate wishes, morning came just as early as normal.  Thankfully, Bill didn’t wake with the sun as usual, so she let herself doze back off. 

When it started to look like midmorning and Bill was still asleep, Sarah decided it was time to wake him up.  He had medicines to take and needed actual food in his stomach at some point.

He stirred when she lifted the covers to slide out.  “Don’ go,” he mumbled.

“Babe,” she answered, laying a soft kiss on his temple.  “I gotta get up, at least for a bit.  I’m gonna go get some breakfast and bring it to you.”

Bill forced his eyes all the way open, but it didn’t look like he was entirely awake yet.  “Wait.  I’ll come too.”

“Nope.”  Sarah pointed at him accusingly.  “You have a burst eardrum, a wrist that got shot, five stitches in your leg, various other deep scratches including the one on your eyebrow, and you’re _still_ healing from getting shot in the shoulder a couple days ago.  You had major surgery on that wrist yesterday and probably are still getting anesthesia out of your system.  You’re going to wait right here for me and let me take care of you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bill responded, sounding shocked at Sarah’s forcefulness.

“Good.”  Sarah nodded.  “Besides, you probably already did enough harm on your field trip last night.”

Bill frowned drowsily.  “Field trip?”

“I got up because I couldn’t sleep and you followed me into the kitchen.  I couldn’t stop you.  You don’t remember?”  It wouldn’t be surprising if he didn’t.

Bill shook his head.  “I just remember…  I think I had a nightmare.”

“You did,” Sarah said.  “I’m surprised _I_ didn’t, but I think I was just too exhausted.”

Bill frowned.  “I went out there so you wouldn’ have nightmares.”

Sarah leveled her gaze at him, frowning.  “You were probably too doped up yesterday to remember what we talked about, so we’re obviously going to have to cover it again.  I’m not saying I went through the same things you did.  Certainly not the physical danger, but the mental and emotional toil?  Yesterday was hell.  What you put me through was horrible, even if you did it for all the right reasons.  God, I was stressed out enough I got worried about the baby!”

Bill had the decency to look chastised, but Sarah didn’t wait for him to speak again.

“You left acting like you didn’t plan on coming back – in fact, you told me later that you weren’t.  I heard that people died, but not who.  I heard that New Bern was attacking _again_.  I saw the Army men show up.  I saw the dead being brought back.  I saw that you weren’t with the survivors.  I didn’t have a clue how you were doing until I got to the hospital – and they drove us by the battlefield and Bill, that farm is unrecognizable.  There was blood and gore and shrapnel everywhere.  However horrible it was to be part of the battle, looking at the aftermath was still sickening.

“And until I saw you, I didn’t know if you were dead or alive.  I didn’t know what I was walking into.  So yeah.  I think I’m entitled to my own nightmares.”  Sarah turned away for a moment, unable to get her emotions under control.

“I’m sorry,” Bill said after a moment. 

She looked and his eyes were focusing on her: a clear sign the medication was leaving his system.  Sarah knew she had to get him more before he registered the pain of his wounds.  “I need to get you food and your next pills.”

“I’m coming with you,” he protested again.

“No, you’re not!” Sarah snapped.  She forced herself to pause, rubbing her belly out of habit.  She really didn’t want to be irritated with Bill, not when she just got him back, not when she came so close to losing him forever.  “Look, hon.  You really might hurt yourself.  Let me take care of you right now, okay?  Like you take care of me when I need it.  Please don’t fight me.”

With a frustrated sigh, Bill lay down and pulled the quilt back up.  “Fine.  But I’m not staying in bed all day.”

“We’ll negotiate the terms of your healing later.  Don’t expect me to compromise much,” Sarah warned as she left the room.

 

There was some part of Bill that knew he was in pain.  Some part of him felt the stitches and cuts and, oh yeah, that huge hole in his wrist where the bullet punched all the way through.

Most of his consciousness was in a warm, medicated place, though.

He didn’t like it.

He didn’t think he was loopy, per se, but he was having trouble tracking the events happening around him.  If he really concentrated, he could follow where Sarah was in the room, understand what she was saying, and converse with her.  It was all too easy to drift off – not quite into sleep, but into a pleasant buzz of nothingness.

He wasn’t in control of his surroundings.  It rankled every inner cop bone in his body not to be aware of it all.  This was how you got hurt.  How you got killed.  How you ended up stuffed in a trunk for fifteen hours.  He couldn’t let that happen.  It was too terrifying the first time, he couldn’t do that again.  He needed to fight but it was so hard to stay focused…

“Sarah,” he managed, voice cracking a bit.  Water, he needed water.  Before he could even ask, Sarah was there with a cup for him.  He tried to smile at her, but wasn’t sure what sort of face he managed.  Even through the haze, he wanted to watch her, to make sure she was okay, to make sure the baby was still there, to be amazed again at the fact that holy shit, they were having a kid and it was inside Sarah right now and growing.  Biology, man.

“Gotta get off these meds,” he said, concentrating on every word.  “Don’t like them.”

“You don’t have a choice.”  Sarah’s voice came floating through the haze, warm and sounding like home.

He could listen to her forever.

“Read t’ me,” he asked, slipping further into the nothingness.

“Yes, babe.”

~~~

 

It’d been a few weeks since Sarah first felt the baby move and every day there was more and more activity, even when she wasn’t stressed.  She was starting to understand why people said it felt like having an octopus inside you.

The first time it woke her in the night was unexpected, though.

Bill was wrapped around her so tightly she was surprised it hadn’t woken him, too.  Sarah wasn’t sure if it was the pain medication the Army had given him or if it was some psychological thing after the New Bern battle, but Bill couldn’t fall asleep now unless he was touching her; the more contact, the better.  Not that she wanted to complain about that part, but the nightmares gave her pause.

He was sleeping peacefully now, though.  Was it worth disturbing that?

Nah.  Let him sleep.  _Soon_ , Sarah assured herself.  Bill would feel the baby soon enough.

~~~

 

“Bill?  Are you awake?”  Sarah poked her head into the living room, where she’d left him in the easy chair.

He waved in acknowledgment.  “What’s up?”

Sarah held out a brown paper bag.  “Groceries, that’s what’s up!  Actual groceries at Gracie Leigh’s.”

“What?” Bill asked, shocked.

“Yeah.  Army’s brought in a company called Jennings & Rall and they’re scary efficient.  While the Army’s getting the lights on, they’re bringing in food and medicine and actual civilization again!”

Sarah sat her groceries down in the kitchen, continuing to talk as she unloaded them.  “I’m a little worried at how much they can do, but for right now, I’ll take it.  It is nice to see fresh food again and not just rations.”

Bill limped into the kitchen after her, scratching the beard he’d grown while he was on medical leave.  “Hey, I worked hard on those rations.”

“You worked your ass off on those rations,” Sarah agreed.  “But now you don’t have to.  And they have our _medicine_ again, Bill!”

“How did you pay for all this?” Bill asked, looking at the spread of food Sarah had brought home:  soups and vegetables and apples and oranges and rice and milk and… well, a lot of things Bill thought he’d seen the last of.

“Didn’t have to.  They’re providing groceries every day for a week for free.  Hopefully by then, they’ll have the cash registers running and bank records up.”  Sarah grinned at Bill.  “Maybe you’ll finally get all your overtime and hazard pay from the winter.”

Bill grinned back.  “We’ll be rich if that happens.”

“Yes, we will be, which is why I’m not counting on it.”  Sarah sashayed by and booped Bill’s nose as she continued to unpack the bag.  “Look!  When’s the last time you saw a banana?  We can eat healthily again!”

Bill made a face.  “Does this mean salads again?”

Sarah smiled knowingly.  “This means all the vegetables for both of us until we’re no longer malnourished.  Neither of us can afford to be unhealthy.  You’ve got to heal!”

“And you’ve got to take care of yourself, too.”

“I know,” Sarah said.  “That’s why I included myself in the vegetable eating.  Oh!  That reminds me!  I put us on the schedule with J&R – that’s what they go by – to have a guy come by and refit our appliances for electricity again.”

“They can do that?”

“Apparently.  Bill, we’re going to have electricity again!  And a working washer and dryer and dishwasher!  I couldn’t be more excited!”

Bill grabbed Sarah as she spun happily around the room and kissed her.  “Things are looking up, babe.  Things are going to be normal again.”

~~~

 

It took a couple weeks, but Bill was finally free of stitches and bandages: only the wrist brace remained.  In another two weeks, he’d be shed of that, too, and cleared to go back to work. 

It was a halcyon time, really.  They had electricity again, the clinic was stocked with actual medical supplies, and trade routes were more secure.  The Army took some of the policing load off the deputies, so they were finally able to go back to working regular shifts.  Things weren’t plentiful or entirely peaceful, not by a long shot, but it was a vast improvement from the winter.

They just had to put up with a bit of martial law and heavy-handed oversight in exchange.  It remained to be seen if it was worth it.

Sarah lay on the bed, enjoying the luxury of reading by actual electric light, while Bill napped beside her, snoring softly.  The kick was strong enough to make her actually grunt in surprise.

She must have also jumped a bit because Bill woke up.  “You okay?” he mumbled sleepily.

“Yeah.  Baby’s practicing kung-fu again.  Getting better at it, too,” she joked, rubbing the side of her belly.

Out of habit, Bill lazily reached out and placed a hand next to hers.  He froze, a look of wonder spreading across his face.  “I feel it!” he said excitedly, sitting up and putting his other hand on her belly.  “I actually feel it kicking this time!”

Sarah broke into a smile.  “Finally!”

“We really have a baby in there,” he breathed, staring at her stomach.

“Are you just now figuring that out?” Sarah snorted.  “Did you think I came up with an elaborate excuse to gain weight?”

Bill shook his head, ignoring her teasing.  “No, but it’s… it’s real, now.  I mean, you’ve felt it moving for a month, but… this is the first time I’ve really had any sort of interaction.”  He stared at her in wonder.  “That’s my kid kicking.  I’m feeling my own child move.”

“You had some interaction before, you know.  I had to have help getting the kid in there.”  Her smile softened and she pulled him down into a gentle kiss.  “Still, I felt like that when I first felt it move, too.  Kinda amazing, huh?  And just think, in a couple days, I’ve got that appointment to finally have a proper ultrasound.  We’ll get to see it, too.”

“Yeah…”  He’d almost forgotten about that.  “We’re really doing this.  We’re really having a baby this summer.”

“Can’t avoid it now,” she commented lightly as he lay back down, spooning around her so that he could still keep a hand on her belly.  “You’d better be rested up and in one piece then.  I’m gonna need your help with diapers and toilet training and school and teaching it to drive and all that fun stuff.”

Bill grinned into her neck.  “You sure we can’t ask them if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Sarah squeezed his arm.  “You know I want it to be a surprise.  And you also know that you won’t be able to keep your mouth shut if you find out and I don’t.  I vote no.”

Bill grumped, but didn’t argue.

~~~

 

“ _It is now six months since the day that changed human history…_ ”  The TV droned on, repeating its story over and over.

Bill sat next to Jimmy’s hospital bed, snacking on peanuts while he waited for his appointment time.  He was finally getting this damned wrist brace off for good – and finding out how much mobility he had left.

With luck, all of it.  Bill was ready to get back to work – he’d already shaved his beard, though he’d kept the sideburns.  They made Sarah laugh, but Bill liked them.

Jimmy stared at the TV, looking dazed.  He didn’t move at all until Jake walked in front of the TV.

“Hey, what the hell, man?”

“Sorry,” Jake said.

“You’ve been watching the same thing for a week now,” Bill pointed out, laughing.  “It’s the same story, over and over again.  What is it you think you’re gonna miss?”

“I’m waiting for them to explain what happened with the flag.”

Bill laughed again.  “They _have_ explained!  About four hundred times!  They’re putting the country back together, but not everybody’s on board yet – just the states west of the Mississippi.”

Bill looked at Jake for support, but sobered quickly when he saw his expression.

“Today was Pete Brighton’s surgery,” Jake said.  “Came by to see how he was doing.”

“And?” Bill asked, hoping against hope it was good news.  Pete had been slowly declining after his first surgery four weeks ago.

“I’m surprised he lasted that long with all the shrapnel he took,” Jake said softly.

Bill looked down sadly and Jake gripped his shoulder supportively.

“So, what’s the total now?” Bill asked.  He didn’t really want to know, but he needed to.  “Sixty-four?”

“Five, sixty-five.”

“Sixty-five dead,” Bill whispered.  His expression turned serious.  “I gotta say, I don’t know what kind of punishment this Beck guy has in store for New Bern, but I’d like to be there when it goes down.”

Jake nodded in understanding. 

~~~

 

Bill pushed the door shut behind him and leaned back, resting against it for a moment.  Sarah came around the corner from the kitchen, smiling. 

“How was the first day back?” she asked, pulling him down into a kiss.  “You look exhausted.”

“I _am_ exhausted,” he admitted, plopping down on the couch.

“You didn’t strain your wrist, did you?”  She sat next to him, examining his hand.

“No,” Bill sighed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.  “I didn’t, but my arm still cramped up.  Leg, too, where that bullet grazed me.”

“Hon, you can’t push yourself!” Sarah insisted.  “You’re supposed to ease back into it.”

He ran a hand over his face, trying to rub away some of the fatigue.  “I didn’t push, though.  I was there half a day and I didn’t leave the office.  How come I’m so tired?  I was useless!”

“You’re not useless; you’re healing,” she insisted matter-of-factly.  “Another couple weeks and you’ll be back in the swing of things.  And hey, you could be like Jimmy and still in the clinic.”

He laughed a bit at that.  “He’s on so many medications right now that I’m not sure he even knows where he is.”

“You’re probably right!” she agreed, grinning.  “Now, c’mon.  Do you want food first or a nap?”

Bill thought for a moment.  Moving for either option didn’t sound fun right now, but…  “Both?” he tried.  “Can you feed me while I sleep?”

Sarah thumped his chest, shooting him a look.  “Not a chance.  Wait here; I’ll wrangle you up a sandwich or something and then we’ll both go take a nap.”

“Yeah.  That sounds good.”  He grinned sleepily, sinking back into the couch.  “Does this mean I get to make a joke about you being barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen?”

“Only if you want metal shavings in your sandwich!” she called back, though she was laughing.

~~~

 

When they met at the clinic after his work, Sarah noted that Bill wasn’t quite as exhausted-looking as his first few days back, but he still seemed like he could benefit from a good nap.  After this maybe – if they could sleep!

Bill greeted her with a squeeze of his hand, lightly entwining their fingers.

“You ready for this?” she asked.  “They said they’ll have a room ready in a moment.”

“You sure we can’t…?”

“Stop it!” Sarah admonished, smiling.  “You agreed we’d keep it a surprise.  Or… did you change your mind?” she added nervously, remembering his joking the past few days.

“’Course I didn’t,” he assured.  “I’m just poking at you.  And maybe saying I wouldn’t be upset if we accidentally found out.”

A volunteer came to get them a few minutes later, ushering them to a room in the back.  As they went by, Bill poked his head into Jimmy’s room as they went by, shooting his friend a thumbs up.  Jimmy waved back muzzily; he’d just been given a round of pain medication for his back.

In the room, Sarah settled on the exam table, leaning back with a slight grin.  “I think I was supposed to be used to these by now,” she commented, nodding at the nurse who’d followed them in.

The nurse smiled at her.  “No worries,” he said.  “You have the easy part.”

A few minutes later, the ultrasound machine was buzzing and there was a picture on the screen – black and white and fuzzy, but unmistakably a baby.

“Oh wow,” breathed Sarah.  Behind her, Bill gave a sharp intake of breath.  She forced her gaze away just long enough to see the look of wonder on his face.  He squeezed her shoulder, never taking his eyes from the screen.

The rest of the exam went fairly quickly and they were sent out the door with an assurance of good health, an estimated due date in late July, and a single sonogram printout.

Bill turned it over in his hands as they waited to check out.  “Think I can get this in wallet size?” he mused.

Sarah grinned softly, rubbing her shirt over her belly to try to get rid of the sticky feeling.  “You are a horrible sap, Bill Koehler, and I love you for it.”

“Don’t tell anyone!  I have a reputation to uphold!” he protested.

Sarah snorted a laugh.  “I think it’s too late for that, hon.”

Once they left the clinic, Bill and Sarah walked hand in hand to the new J&R office, looking for news.

“Excuse me,” Sarah said to one of the workers.  “We heard you have accurate maps of the bomb sites and fallout zones.  We were hoping to see if our families were affected.”

The girl, who seemed very young for this job, nodded.  “Sure thing!  Follow me!” she said perkily.

They followed her into the building – in the final stages of renovation – and to an isolated room near the front.  “This is our map room,” she said.  “If you have any questions, let me know.”

“Can you look up our family members yet?” Bill asked.

The girl nodded.  “We can do that.  We have our census and we have access to the Red Cross, who’ve taken a census across the eastern states and Texas.”

Sarah smiled happily.  “Can you look them up now?”

“Sure!”  The girl flipped a sheet over on her clipboard and handed it to them.  “Write their names and locations on here and I’ll look them up.”

Sarah wrote down the names of both her family and Bill’s, showed him the paper for approval, and then handed it over.

“Great!  It’ll just take me about ten minutes to run all these names.”

Sarah and Bill turned to the fallout map before them.  Jeez, it was hard to picture all these cities gone, but they were.  “San Antonio’s okay,” she whispered to Bill.  “So is northern New York.  But Chattanooga got some of the fallout from Atlanta,” Sarah added, worried.

They pored over the map, trying to figure out who was safe and who wasn’t, until the J&R girl came back.

“Uh, I have good news and bad news,” she said.  “Sir, it looks like all your relatives are accounted for, though some are noted to have sustained injuries and illnesses over the winter.  But ma’am, it doesn’t look like all your family made it.”

Sarah grabbed the paper and looked at the girl’s notes.  Her grandmother: dead.  Not surprising; she was 80.  Her aunt and uncle in Chattanooga: also dead.  Her cousins in Nashville: alive.  Her father: alive, thank God. 

Her mother: dead.

Sarah sat down on the floor, taking that in.  Bill took the paper from her and saw the notation.  He immediately started rubbing Sarah’s back to calm her.

“What happened?” Sarah asked hollowly.

“I don’t know,” the girl replied.  “The Red Cross didn’t say.  Just that she was reported to have died in February.”  She slowly backed out of the room, giving Sarah privacy.

“Insulin,” Sarah whispered.  “She was diabetic.  I bet she couldn’t get insulin through the winter.  I’m surprised she lasted that long, I guess.”

“We’re going to find a way to get in touch with your father,” Bill promised.  “We’re going to find out what happened to her.”

Sarah nodded, surprised there were no tears.  She was too in shock for that.

“I guess I’ll never know what she thinks about grandchildren,” Sarah said hollowly.

~~~

 

“What do you mean, amnesty?”  Bill asked Eric.  “Beck can’t grant New Bern amnesty.  They attacked us!”

“I’m afraid it’s true,” Eric said.  “Amnesty for us and them.”

“So what are we doing about it?” asked one of the other Rangers gathered in Bailey’s.

“That’s why you’re here.”  Eric cleared his throat.  “We’re headed to New Bern to kill Constantino.”

Bill boggled.  “Right now?”

“Tomorrow night.  But we’ve got to keep Jake out of it.  Beck’s watching him too closely,” Eric explained.  “No one mention that I’ve already talked to you all about it.”

Bill thought hard.  He wanted vengeance badly, but he’d heard what Beck did to rogue elements.  Not to mention, he wasn’t up to riding a horse yet – and a firefight?  “Eric, I think I’m going to have to sit this one out.”

Eric nodded.  “Of course.  You’re still on light duty anyway.”

Bill had said he wanted out, but he still felt dismissed.  He couldn’t wait until he was fully healed.

He couldn’t wait until he wasn’t useless any more.

 

Bill came home to a dark house that night.  Even Sadie was asleep in her bed by the fireplace.

He flipped the light on in the bedroom to find Sarah already in bed.  Sarah stirred from her sleep; her face was puffy and red, as if she’d been crying recently.

“I just got to sleep, Bill,” she complained.

“I know.  But it’s too early to go to bed yet.  You’ll be up at four,” he pointed out.

Sarah shook her head.  “Not likely.  Think I’m entering another downswing.”

Bill sat next to her and pulled her close.  “Your mom?”

Sarah nodded, tears coming to her eyes again.  “I just…  I’ll never be able to know if she would be happy for me.  Or if she’d be disappointed.”

Bill squeezed her tight.  “She’d be proud of you.  You got us through the winter, more than I did.  You were so down, but you kept going.  You kept me going.  And you did all this while being pregnant, too.  How awesome are you?”

Sarah leaned her head against Bill’s shoulders.  “I couldn’t have done any of it without you.  When you were here.”

Bill rubbed her arm comfortingly.  “I wasn’t here much.  But you held this family together.  I’m so proud of you for that.  And she would be, too.”

Sarah shook her head as if she wasn’t sure.  “If you say so.”

“I _do_ say so, Sarah.  Remember, if you’re down, you listen to me for truth.  Not what your brain tells you.”

Sarah nodded, still crying.  “Hold me, Bill.  Let’s go to sleep.”

Bill agreed.  It was still early, but Sarah could obviously use the comfort.  He crawled into bed behind her, cradling her in his arms.  It was a recipe for his left arm to fall asleep, but it was worth it if it made Sarah feel better.

He’d do anything for her.


	13. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 2-02 - 2-04. The world around them is changing and the new guy in town is not so new...

**April 4 th – April 30th**

“Hey Jake,” Bill said, wandering into the Sheriff’s office with Sarah in tow.  “What’s going on?  It’s a little crazy outside.” 

“Well, for one thing, I’m your new boss,” Jake said, moving aside his jacket to show the sheriff’s star clipped to his pants.

“Heyyy,” Bill grinned.  “Glad it’s you and not me.”  It hit him just how much had changed that he welcomed the idea of _Jake Green_ as his boss.

“Second, we’re about to have the president visit today.  He’s gonna come downtown, do a photo op, then go make a speech at Stanley’s.”

“The actual president?” Sarah asked.  “I think I want to get out to the farm and hear this speech.”

“You wanna take the SUV?”  Bill offered her the keys.

Sarah gave him a look.  “You know I suck at driving stick.  No, I’ll catch a ride with someone.”

“Plenty of people _are_ going out there,” Jake agreed. 

“Are you gonna make him shave these godawful sideburns?” Sarah joked, patting Bill on the shoulder.

Jake looked at Sarah as if he didn’t quite get the joke.  Too focused on other things.  “No, they can stay.  Bill, I need you in town.  We’re supposed to manage traffic and clear the roads for the president’s motorcade.  Can I trust you to handle that?”

Bill saluted facetiously.  “You got it, boss.”

Jake rolled his eyes.  “I’m going up to their Watch Room.”

“Watch Room?”

“Whatever it is, they’ve taken over the meeting room.  I’m gonna go find out what that’s all about,” Jake said.

“Sounds like they’re taking over a lot,” Sarah said, giving Bill a look before she left.  The more J&R and the new government did, the more Sarah found to complain about.  Bill hadn’t seen the problem yet.

 

Sarah stood in front of Town Hall, looking for someone who might be going out to Stanley’s farm.

“Sarah!” said a familiar voice.

Sarah looked down the street and saw her favorite coworker.  “Joanna!  How have you been?”

“I’m good.”  Joanna looked down at Sarah’s belly.  “You look good, too.”

“Thanks,” Sarah blushed.  “Feeling okay.  You?”

“Good.  I actually came looking for you.  Figured you’d be here or at home.”

“What’s up?”

Joanna looked around.  “Well, the library is being restored, so we’re going to have jobs again in a month.” 

“That’s great!” Sarah said, genuinely happy.

“Yeah, but wait ‘til you see what the new government sent for us to stock the shelves with.”  Joanna grimaced.

Uh-oh.  “Show me.”

Joanna led Sarah to her car.  “So they sent us a copy of each of the new textbooks, right?  You’re a history person.  I want you to look at these history books and tell me what you think.”

Sarah flipped through the book Joanna handed her.  “Jeez.  What sort of bull is this?”

“Right?  They’re completely rewriting what actually happened.”

“The fall of the first American republic?  Leaving Vietnam too early?”  Sarah slammed the book shut in disgust.  “Surely they don’t expect the schools to teach that stuff.”

“Looks like they do.  You going out to the speech?” Joanna asked.

“If I wasn’t before, I am now.  I want to know what else this government has to say about things.”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

 

Stanley, Bonnie, and Mimi were hanging bunting on the railing when Sarah and Joanna arrived and they were immediately co-opted to help.

Sarah went to help Bonnie, but a gleam on Mimi’s hand caught her eye.  Sarah tapped Bonnie’s arm.  _Is that a ring?_ she signed slowly, making sure she got the words right.

Bonnie grinned.  _Yeah.  Stanley proposed yesterday._

 _How exciting!_   Sarah helped Bonnie finish the bunting they were hanging and then went and punched Stanley in the arm.  “Congrats on the end of your bachelorhood.”

“What?  Oh!”  Stanley grinned, blushing a little.  “Yeah, well.  It was time.”

“There was a time I’d’ve thought you’d never settle down.  She’s good for you,” Sarah said happily.  “I can’t wait to tell Bill.”

“Yeah, where is he?” Stanley asked, looking around. 

“They’ve got him directing traffic.  I’m here listening for both of us.”

“Listen up!” a Secret Service member yelled out.  “The president has changed his plans and he’ll be here in one hour.  Hurry it up!”

Stanley looked at Sarah.  “You heard the man.  Hurry it up!”

 

Sarah and Joanna found seat on a bale of hay in the back, trying to be discreet so they could whisper to each other.

Sarah looked around.  She hadn’t seen so many armed people since the New Bern War.  Granted, these were Army and Secret Service, not her fellow Jericho citizens, but still… it was an ominous reminder.

A line of black SUVs arrived and the Secret Service jumped into action.  They blocked Sarah’s view of the president getting out of his car, but he was quickly out of the bustle and waving to the crowd.  About half the crowd cheered.  Sarah supposed the other half was either too wary or too stunned at seeing the actual president in person.

She still wasn’t sure she wanted him as her president.  From what she’d heard, the Columbus, Ohio, government had more legitimacy.  Cheyenne and Tomarchio had the might, though.  Time would tell who would win.

The president stood at the podium on Stanley’s porch, waiting for the television cameras to be ready.  Once they were, the Army men in dress blues got in formation for a twenty-one gun salute.  Sarah winced in preparation.  Rifle shots at Stanley’s reminded her only of the war, not of good times she and Bill had with them before the bombs.

“Citizens of Jericho,” President Tomarchio began, “I am honored to be standing here today with you on this most hallowed ground.  Those who died here gave their blood to protect our lives and liberties.  And so, we honor them.”

The Army detail got in position and fired the first round.  No one in the crowd talked, but every Jericho citizen flinched.  It was too raw a reminder of what had happened only a month ago.

By the time the new flag was folded and presented to Mayor Anderson and the gun salute finished, Sarah was thoroughly on alert.  She listened to Tomarchio’s explanation of what happened to bring him to power warily.  So _he_ was the one who sent the bombs to North Korea and Iran?  He just “decided” that his government was more valid than the one in Columbus?

Sarah didn’t buy it.

And then, Tomarchio announced that he was changing the name of the nation.  _Allied States of America._ Sarah shuddered and looked at the flag.  She didn’t want to live in a new nation.  Especially one that was about to rewrite the Constitution.  One that rewrote history in a war hawk mentality.  This was not the government she’d have voted for.

Not that anyone got to vote for it.

Sarah clapped so she didn’t look out of place, but gave Joanna a look.  Joanna quirked an eyebrow in response.  Good to know her friend was on the same page.

She hoped Bill would be, too.

 

Bill was _exhausted_.  Today had been some of the tensest work he’d done as a deputy in peacetime.  It wasn’t as bad as the stand-off with Ravenwood or the New Bern War, but for a regular duty day…  The president’s visit really kept them hopping.  He was definitely looking forward to a relaxing night with Sarah.  Maybe some real food for dinner and a real beer, then bed early…  Yeah, that sounded nice.

His plan was skewered when Sarah started ranting as soon as he got in the door.

“Do you know what they did today?  They just up and went and changed the name of the country.  We’re not the USA anymore, we’re the ASA.  The _Allied_ States.”

“Whoa, whoa,” Bill said, holding Sarah by the shoulders.  “Slow down.  They did what?”

“The president announced it, during the speech.  Right after justifying ignoring the Constitution and forming his own government.”  Sarah crossed her arms.  “Turns out he’s the one who sent the bombs that caused the EMP.”

“Well, someone had to do something, didn’t they?” Bill asked.

Sarah scoffed in disgust and turned away from Bill.  “And they’re changing history in the textbooks.  Saying that we got bombed because we got weak.”

Bill thought that didn’t sound too far off.  “Well, we weren’t exactly the most proactive about our security.”

“Bill!  We were _trying_ to still live by the Constitution.  Or _some_ of us were.  And they’re writing a new one of those, too.”

“Sarah, look at all the good they’ve done, though.”  He gestured around the house.  “We have food.  Electricity.  We’re about to have phones again.  The med center is stocked.  I’m working normal hours.  They’ve brought us _order._   How bad can they be?”

Sarah shook her head, disappointed.  “Bill, that’s the carrot.  The rest of this stuff is the stick – we just haven’t seen it yet.  But it’s coming.  They control too much.  _J &R_ controls too much.  This is going to backfire on us, I just know it.”

Bill reached out and took one of Sarah’s hands.  “Hey, calm down, okay.  Nothing’s gone wrong yet.  And if it does, we’ll stop it like we stopped everything else.”

Sarah sighed.  “I just hope Gray does a lot of good at the Constitutional Convention.  We really need his voice there.”

“What’s that?  You’re actually supporting Gray Anderson now?” Bill laughed.

“Only a little.  He’s been a good mayor since the war.  I think he’ll talk sense at the convention.  I just hope they decide to recognize the same rights and liberties we have now.  Or had.”

“Surely they wouldn’t change the Constitution _that_ much.  Just… update it.  Make it more relevant to today,” Bill shrugged.  “Let the government be stronger on defense.”

“You are so naïve, Bill.  If you’d been there, you’d’ve seen.  This is the type of government that really wants to take over.  They’re going to take everything we give them,” Sarah argued.  “And probably more.”

Bill shook his head.  Sarah was just being paranoid.  No American government – whatever they called themselves – would be as tyrannical as she feared.

~~~

 

“Hey, did somebody call a cop?”

Bill heard Jimmy’s voice all the way in the records room and grinned.  It’d been too long since his partner was on the job. 

“Now I was told that many of you came to visit me while I was in the hospital, and let it be known I was heavily sedated.  Okay?  So I don’t remember much but, uh, thank you and uh, I’m sorry for anything I might have said.”

Bill laughed.  That was just like Jimmy.  And he wasn’t wrong: they had kept him drugged up while his back healed.  It’d been the only way to keep him still enough to let it heal.

He finished up his filing and headed out to greet Jimmy, but Jimmy was already talking to Major Beck.  Bill would just have to wait his turn.

Beck led Jimmy to his office.  He finally noticed Bill then and grinned.  “Hey, buddy.”

“Heya, Jim,” Bill said.  “Good to have you back.”

“Deputy Taylor, I need you in here now,” Beck said from the office.

Jimmy made a face and followed Beck into the room.  The door was shut.

Bill wondered what they could be talking about.  Jimmy had been holding one of the missing terrorist flyers.  Did he know something he hadn’t told Bill?  Maybe more about Hawkins being an FBI agent?

He’d just have to ask him later.

Jake stormed in the office then, looking pissed as hell.  “Bill, come here,” he ordered.

“What’s wrong, Jake?”

Jake motioned him closer.  “We’ve got a problem.  Jennings & Rall sent a supervisor to take over day-to-day handling of the town.  It’s Ravenwood and Goetz.”

“Goetz?!” Bill said, louder than he meant to.

“Keep it down!” Jake shushed.  “I don’t want anyone to go vigilante on him.  We’d have big problems if they did.”

“Beck,” Bill guessed.

“Yeah, Beck wouldn’t stand for that.  He’d see it as treason.  We’ve got to figure out a way to get rid of him.  Maybe we can do it before the other guys find out.”

They didn’t.  Goetz chose that moment to saunter into the sheriff’s station as if he owned the place.

In a way, he did, Bill supposed.

Most of the deputies started, reaching for their guns.  None of them had forgotten what Ravenwood tried to do to Jericho.  Many of them had been on the front line with Bill that day.  

Jake raised a hand.  “Stop.  You can’t fire on him.”

Glaring, the deputies holstered their weapons.

Goetz grinned.  Bill wished he could wipe that smarmy smile right off his face.  He stood behind Jake, glaring along with the rest of his men.

“Good to see you’ve figured out how things are gonna go, Jake,” Goetz said.  “I just wanted to stop by and introduce myself to the Sheriff’s department.  Though I think many of you are familiar.”

“What do you really want, Goetz?” Jake asked.

“I told you, just familiarizing myself.  After all, as the town administrator, I’m in your chain of command now.”

Bill winced.  This was a nightmare come true.

Goetz did a slow walkaround of the office, grinning at each deputy who looked him in the eyes, though some refused to.  “Nice job you’ve done with the place, Jake.  I look forward to seeing your men in action.”  He left as abruptly as he came.

The deputies muttered angrily, loud enough that Beck emerged from the Sheriff’s office.  “What’s going on in here?”

“Goetz,” Jake said.  “I told you Jericho wouldn’t take it easily.”

“I see.”  Beck looked around the room.  “Goetz is a government-sanctioned administrator.  I do not care _what_ grievances you have against him; I expect you to respect his position.  You still answer to Jake first and me second.  If you do what we say, you won’t have to deal with Goetz at all.”

Jimmy snuck out of the office while Beck talked.  “Goetz?  Really?” he asked Bill and Jake.

Bill nodded, upset to his core.  “Why would the government do this?” he asked.

“Maybe the government wants to test us,” Jake said darkly.

Bill thought about his conversation with Sarah last night and wondered if she was right.

~~~

 

Sarah watched the J&R workman closely.  He seemed a nice enough kid, but she was half afraid the government was installing a tap on all the phone lines they restored.

Okay, maybe more than half.

She had to admit, it would be nice to be able to call her in-laws again, instead of having to walk over there most days to check in.  And it was a step closer to being able to call her dad, though there weren’t any communications across the Mississippi just yet.

The kid climbed down out of the attic, wiping his hands on his worksuit.  “There you are!  You’re set up and ready to go.  I just need you to sign the purchase order and a permission slip for us to list your number in a public phone book.”

“Yes to the first, no to the second,” Sarah said.  Bill told horror stories of cops who listed their private information publicly and were punished for it: from harassing phone calls to home invasions by people they’d arrested before.  She didn’t think Jericho was that bad, but Bill would kill her if she listed their information.

“Okay then.”  The kid pulled a clipboard out from his toolkit.  “Need you to sign here, here, and here.”

Sarah read the contract before she signed, much to the kid’s chagrin.  He was obviously in a hurry, but Sarah was not about to let J&R get away with shenanigans in the fine print.  Finally satisfied, she signed.

The first thing she did was call Bill at the station.

“Guess what we have, babe,” she said when he came to the phone.

Bill laughed.  “I’m glad it works.  You watch the installer?”

“Like a hawk, just like you told me.”

Bill grew serious.  “Listen, I can’t talk now, but at eight tonight, I need you to go to Emily Sullivan’s backyard.  Don’t ask, just go.  It’s important.  I’ll meet you there.  Bye.”

Sarah hung up the phone, confused.  What was going on?  Why did she need to be at Emily’s?  Why did Bill sound like it was important?

Guess she’d better be there.

 

At ten ‘til eight, Bill parked his car at home and checked inside to see if Sarah was there.  She wasn’t – which meant she listened to him.  Thank goodness.

He tried to jog the mile to Emily’s house, but his leg gave out quickly and he walked the rest of the way.

It looked like Emily was holding a block party, which was exactly the cover story if anyone official stopped by.  Bill let himself into the backyard and searched for Sarah.

There she was, standing off by herself.  She wasn’t much of a party person, he knew.

“Hey you.”  Bill greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

“What’s going on?  Is this a party?” Sarah asked.

“It is if anyone asks.  But really, we’re all here to get the Hudson River Virus vaccine.”

“But that’s just in the east, isn’t it?”

Bill shook his head.  “Yesterday we found out it’s spread across the Mississippi and is pretty brutal.  Dale got vaccine on the black market for the town.  Emily should be on her way here with some.  I want you to get vaccinated.”

“But… why not in the clinic?”  Sarah asked, but then answered her own question.  “J&R, right?”

“Right,” Bill said.  “They still claim the virus isn’t over here.”  His faith in the new government’s efficiency and goodwill was being shaken, just a bit.

“Are you getting the vaccine?” Sarah grabbed his hand and squeezed.

“If there’s enough,” Bill promised.  “But you and the baby are both at major risk for it, so you’re first.  Kenchy instructed that we needed to get the high-risk people first and that includes you.”

“It ought to include you.  The town can’t stand to lose you or Jimmy and you deal with so many people every day, it’d be easy for you to catch it.”

“Like I said, I’ll see.”

Emily and Heather ran into the backyard, carrying two coolers.  “Alright, listen up.  If you’re high risk, go ahead and make a line,” she instructed.  “We’ll get everyone else as we can.”

Bill pushed Sarah lightly towards the forming line and hung back.  Heather saw him and called, “Bill!  You’re up front.  Deputies get the vaccine, too.”

He wormed his way up to the front, grabbing Sarah as he went.  “I can wait, you know,” he told Emily, who was already filling a syringe.

“No, you can’t.  Give me your left arm,” Emily said.  She pinched his arm and jabbed him with the needle.  She tossed the used needle in the second, empty cooler and grabbed a new one.

Emily was no nurse and it stung like hell, but at least he was safe from getting sick.  Bill felt even better when he watched Sarah get the shot.

Sarah came out of line rubbing her arm.  “Ow!  Emily does _not_ need to quit her day job.”

“Good thing the schools are back open,” Bill said, grabbing Sarah’s hand.  “Let’s get out of here before we’re discovered.”

“You’re just going to let Emily and Heather be arrested if they’re caught?” Sarah asked.  “At least, I assume that’s what’ll happen?”

“This was part of the plan,” Bill said.  “Get vaccinated, get away from the site.  Fewer people to catch attention.”

Sarah squeezed Bill’s hand.  “If you say so.”

~~~

 

Stanley and Bill met outside the Jackson farm.  The afternoon sun hung low in the sky and Bill knew they only had a couple hours to finish their patrol – Stanley’s first since they started back up.

“Why do we keep doing this?” Stanley asked.  “The Army keeps the town borders safe now.”

Bill hummed.  “They may have taken over the checkpoints, but the Rangers are still the ones keeping an eye on the outlying farms.  Like yours,” Bill said pointedly.

“Things are fine!” Stanley protested.

“And we want to keep it that way.  All we’re really doing is making sure things are okay with the people who live out here: no road gangs hassling them, no crop thefts, and no undue interference from the Army guys and J&R.  We can’t stop the last, but we want to know about it.”

Stanley grumped again.  “I shoulda just stayed home.”

Bill stopped and looked at him.  “You want to be a Ranger still?  This is part of it.”

“We don’t need the Rangers anymore,” Stanley argued.

Bill glared at Stanley.  “If that’s what you think, then go on home.  Go home to your fiancée and enjoy your night.  _I’m_ going to make sure these people are okay.”

Stanley scoffed.  “I’m not leaving you alone, Bill.”

“Then come _on_!”

~~~

 

“Next!”

Sarah stepped up to the J&R desk and handed the clerk the last bits of currency she and Bill had.  There hadn’t been much to spend it on during the winter when they survived by bartering.  The clerk counted the bills and coins and handed back an equal amount of the new ASA money – red and green, with Tomarchio’s picture on the single hundred dollar bill she got back.

Sarah shuddered slightly when she saw the new money, but smiled anyway and thanked the clerk.  It wasn’t like they had any control over this. It’d been a few weeks since Tomarchio’s visit and they were having to get used to the fact that the Allied States were a real place they lived.

Margaret caught her when she stepped back out into the street.  Margaret grabbed Sarah’s arm and whispered conspiratorially, “Did you hear about the meeting in Bailey’s just now?”

“No!” Sarah whispered back, walking arm in arm with Margaret down the street.  “What sort of meeting?”

“Trying to figure out new ways for Dale to smuggle stuff in.  He’s the only one keeping some places in business, you know.”

Sarah frowned.  “I know.  Our neighbor Fred is close to selling his cattle to them because he can’t feed them.”

“Fred was there.  You should have been.  You’d’ve had everybody whipped up in revolutionary fervor.  Emily tried, but Stanley’s the one who shut it down.  He’s pro-ASA right now.”

Sarah rolled her eyes.  “He’ll be pro-ASA until they figure out how to screw him too.”

“Yeah.  Jimmy already complains how much they’ve taken over the sheriff’s office.”

Sarah nodded.  “I hear the same from Bill.  He’s upset he lost his desk to an Army guy and Heather Lisinski.  He’s lucky if he can find a place to sit down to do his paperwork.”

“Yup,” Margaret said.  “That’s what Jimmy tells me.”

Sarah looked at her handful of money.  “What are we gonna do, Margaret?  They’re changing everything so fast.  I can’t keep up.”

Margaret gave Sarah’s arm a squeeze.  “We’ll figure it out.  As long as we have Jimmy and Bill and the Rangers, we’ll get through whatever.”

“Yeah, but Bill said some of the Rangers are losing their enthusiasm.  They think they can relax now that the Army’s here.”  Sarah looked down.  “I think they’re wrong.”

“We can always help our guys kick them in the rear if we need to.  This town still needs the Rangers, I think.”

“I think so, too.”  Sarah patted Margaret’s arm and pulled away.  “Gotta get to work, but we need to start having dinner together again!”

“We’ve got the Hawkins kids right now.  When they leave, definitely.”  Margaret waved and turned down their street.

Sarah headed on to the library, where she had a job again.  It didn’t make her as happy as before though.  They had the books saved from the fire, sure, but all other books were ones approved by the new government and they all had an ideological bent.  Sarah tried to steer people away from them whenever possible.

She worried she’d get caught doing that someday, but it didn’t stop her.

 

Bill stood at the desk, trying to get his paperwork done since one of the soldiers had commandeered his desk.  He was getting real tired of that, but there was no one to complain to.  They all had to answer to Major Beck and Beck was the one who took over the office in the first place.

The office was extra noisy today while J&R guys installed extra security on the sheriff’s office. 

Looked like he, Jake, and Jimmy had lost that office for good.  He’d hoped the Army would set up their own headquarters elsewhere – upstairs, maybe – but that seemingly wasn’t going to happen.

Oh well.  Nothing to be done for it.  They were stuck with Army overseers for the time being.

Jake walked in, bewildered at the noise and commotion for an office that wasn’t busy.

“It’s like Fort Knox back there,” Bill joked.

“What is that?” Jake asked.

“Thumbprint scanner.  Getting that room ready to house classified information,” Bill explained.  “It’s a _pretty_ short list of people that’ll have access.”

“Let me guess: I’m not on it?”

Bill clicked his tongue and tapped Jake with his pen.  “But, if it’s any consolation, you now hold the distinction of being the first Jericho sheriff – in history – who doesn’t have a key to the sheriff’s office.”  He grinned cheekily at Jake, but didn’t get a reaction.

“Who does have access?” Jake asked, seriously.

“Just the officers.  Uh… there’s a list floating around here.”  Bill went back to a nearby desk and rifled through some papers.  He picked up a file folder and handed a sheet to Jake.  “Yup, here you go.”

Jake stared at that paper and then the office as if his life depended on it.

Huh.  Bill wondered what was going on. 

 

Bill leaned against the counting, watching one of the Army men questioning Heather in Beck’s office.

Bonnie rushed into the sheriff’s station, looking frantic, Stanley not far behind.

“Bill!  Jake!” Stanley called.

“What’s up?” Bill said, signing to Bonnie also.

“It’s Dale,” Bonnie said.  “He just got arrested.”

“Not by us,” Jake said.

“No, by Ravenwood.”  Stanley pointed out towards the J&R building.  “They just took him into J&R a few moments ago.”

“They’re not police,” Bonnie pled.  “You have to _do_ something.”

Jake looked at Bill.  “Go get Eric and we’ll meet over there as soon as possible.”

Stanley looked back at the sheriff’s office.  “What’s Heather doing in there?”

“They think she was looking at classified information,” Bill answered.  “Stupid, since she’s about as helpful as you can get when it comes to Beck, but they’re waiting on him to come back.”

“Huh,” said Stanley.

Bill wondered if he was questioning the ASA now.

 

“We want Dale Turner,” Jake said, stalking into the J&R office.  “Get him out here.”

“Can’t do it, sheriff,” Goetz said lightly.

“This is not a jail and you don’t just hold people,” said Eric.  “If Dale’s accused of a crime, the sheriff’s office will investigate.”

Bill stood behind the two brothers and next to Stanley, trying to look stern.  He was there as Jake’s backup, not a player on his own. 

“That won’t be necessary.  A truck full of contraband meets my burden of proof,” Goetz said.

“You can’t keep him here forever,” Jake said, moving forward.

“I agree!” Goetz said happily.  “I turned him over to the military police ten minute ago.  He’s on his way to Loomer Ridge Prison as we speak.”

Loomer Ridge?  That was a supermax prison.  There was no way a kid like Dale Turner belonged there for smuggling.  Usually it only housed violent criminals. 

After a brief argument, they all stalked outside into the bright sunshine. 

“If he’s saying he can throw us in prison whenever he wants, what makes you think that stops with Dale?” asked Stanley, obviously coming to a realization.

Eric started listing off things J&R had done to Jericho.  “The vaccines, registrations, the gouging, now this?”

“We’re losing this town,” Jake said and Bill couldn’t help but agree.  “Look, we got to get there, all right? They got a ten minute head start.”

“Chasing that truck is a good way of getting ourselves shot at,” Bill pointed out.  He wanted to save Dale, but he definitely didn’t want to get into a firefight.

“Probably.”  Jake was no good at reassurance.  He pointed at Eric.  “Go find Beck.  I need you to relay a message.”

“You know what he’s going to say,” Eric said.  “He doesn’t have the authority to do anything.”

“We’re going to give him the authority.”

Bill, Stanley, and Jake hopped into a patrol car.  Bill flipped on the lights and sirens and off they went.

 

Bill raced through the countryside, trying to catch up to the Army truck.  He skidded up behind it and glanced at Jake.  “What do you want to do?”

“Pass it.  We’ll make them stop just over the hill.”

Bill sped around the truck, passing it in the dusty grass – how different the vegetation looked this year, after the bombs and a nuclear winter!

Over the hill, he slammed on the brakes, stopping the patrol car across the middle of the road.  The three men hopped out of the car and stood behind it, arms up in surrender, just like Jake suggested.

The truck came into view.  “Let me do the talking,” Jake said.

The truck stopped and a lieutenant stepped out, rifle aim scanning the three of them.  “Keep your hands up.  Clear the road.”

Jake cleared his throat.  “Right…  There’s been a mistake.  I’m the sheriff.  The kid should be in my custody.”

“Clear the road or I will shoot.”

“I have orders from Major Beck!” Jake yelled, getting desperate. 

“This is your last warning!”

As Jake and the lieutenant argued, Bill realized he’d driven out here just to be shot.  The new government was about to shoot him for trying to save a kid from supermax.  What sort of government was this?  Maybe Sarah was right.

 

Bill couldn’t believe this was working.  Beck was actually on the phone with Jake.  They might get Dale back.

Jake handed the phone back to the soldier and a minute later, Dale was dragged out of the back of the truck.  They cut his bindings and pushed him to Jake.

Before anyone could change their mind, Jake put Dale in the back of the patrol car with Stanley and ran around to the front seat.  Bill hit the gas and headed back to town as quickly as he dared on these dirt roads.

“You do realize we just saved your life?” Jake asked Dale.

“Yes,” mumbled Dale.

“You’re gonna have to lie low for a while.  Play ball with J&R.”

Dale looked offended.  “I can’t do that!”

“You have to.  You can’t give Goetz another reason to arrest you.”

“But I’ve got to bring stuff into town!  People are counting on me,” Dale argued.

“We know,” Jake said, turning in his seat to face Dale.  “But we’ve got to be smart about this.  Stanley, can his men go back to using your ranch?”

Stanley didn’t look happy, but he agreed. 

Bill was glad; he’d seen enough over the past weeks with Goetz to bring him around to Sarah’s way of thinking.  J&R were up to no good if they worked with Ravenwood – if they _owned_ Ravenwood like Jake said.  And the government was no good if they worked with them, too.

He couldn’t believe it, but he almost missed the days before the New Bern War.  Life was simpler then, even if they didn’t have all the modern luxuries.

 

They’d dropped Stanley off within walking distance of his farm and then taken Dale back to be put in the town’s jail.

Bill noticed no one was working the 911 call station, so he sat down while Jake dealt with both Beck and Dale.

A call came in through the station that shook him to his core.

Bill skidded down the hallway to the cells.

“Goetz is out of control,” Jake was ranting.  “You know it and so do I!”

“Jake.”

Jake paused his argument with Beck.  “What is it, Bill?” he asked, irritated.

Bill gulped.  “Stanley’s on 911.  Mimi’s been shot.  Bonnie’s dead.”


	14. The Night of April 30th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 2-05 - Staying alive, saying goodbye.

**April 30 th \- May 1st**

Bill skidded around the patrol car, falling in behind Jake.

Eric stood out by the ambulances and his face forced away the last bit of hope Bill had been clinging to.

They walked in together.  Paramedics were working on Mimi, now passed out from blood loss.  But just a bit further into the room…

Stanley cradled Bonnie’s body.  Bill tried to breathe, but he shrunk in on himself, lungs a vacuum, instead.  Bonnie… 

He still could picture when she was born and how happy Mr. and Mrs. Richmond had been.  How devastated everyone had been when they died, but how happy that Bonnie survived.  Moving in with Stanley and learning how to care for a four-year-old.  Learning sign language.  Taking her out for Happy Meal ‘dates’ after school.  Teaching her to shoot.  Going to football games and to get ice cream.  Bonnie’s laugh.  Asking her to be godmother to his child…

Bill felt a single tear run down his face and he quickly started breathing again, trying not to break down.  He couldn’t afford to break down now.  He had to be strong and do his job.

He could process this later.

 

Bill watched, still in shocked disbelief, as the last gurney was loaded into the ambulance.  Mimi shot a...and Bonnie killed and Ravenwood probably coming after them again.  What had happened to the world?  What was so important that an eighteen-year-old like Bonnie had to die?  What kind of people did that?

He shook his head, trying to break free from those thoughts.  He had to keep his head about him right now.  “Call the Rangers,” he instructed Jimmy, even though Jimmy had probably already thought of all this.  “Use Stanley’s phone; have them go – armed – straight to the clinic.  Jake and I are gonna escort Mimi’s ambulance.”

He had to tug Jake’s elbow to get him to move; he was still in shock too.  Everyone was, really.  But they didn’t have to luxury of time right now; they had to keep Mimi alive.  Jericho had lost too much already.

 

“I’m taking the car and going to find Beck,” Jake said when they reached the clinic.

“Okay.”  Bill tossed him the keys.  He ran on in.  “Where’s Dr. Dhuwalia?” he asked the closest nurse.

“He just went to the ambulance bay,” she said. 

“Great.”  Bill ran through the med center, remembering the time he’d been brought in by ambulance.

Stanley stood hunched over in the ambulance as techs unloaded Mimi.  Bill could practically feel the anger and despair radiating from his friend.

“Dr. Dhuwalia, you’ve got to get her in surgery right away,” Bill said.

“What is it you think I’m doing?” Kenchy snapped.

“No, you need to know.  Ravenwood might come for her.  She’s the only witness to one of their crimes.  We need her to live.”  Bill looked up at Stanley.  “She’s one of us.  We can’t lose her.”

Kenchy gulped at the mention of Ravenwood, but nodded.  “I’ll do what I can.  Nurse!” he called over his shoulder.  “Get me a sterile room stat!”

Bill relaxed a little.  He tried to grab Stanley’s shoulder, but Stanley stalked right by him.  Bill followed them to the main part of the clinic, feeling helpless.

“Beck’s gone to New Bern.  We’re on our own,” announced Jake, arriving with some extra rifles and ammo.  “Bill, Marty, you take the front,” he instructed. 

Bill grabbed a rifle and was about to head out when Jimmy walked in, escorting Bonnie’s body.

Oh, that hurt to even think about. 

 

Bill stood at the front door for an hour, letting in Rangers and warning them what to expect.  Things were especially dire now that Beck wasn’t coming to their rescue.  A quick mental tally told Bill most of the Rangers had arrived – and with the Humvees coming down the road now, it might be all the reinforcement they were going to get.  He grabbed the arm of Matt, the last Ranger to show up, and told him to keep the door shut.

“Jake!” he called, running into the clinic and skidding to a stop in front of the nurses’ station.  “Jake!  Goetz is outside!”

Jake was already hurrying towards him; Bill passed him a gun and followed him back to the front.  “Shit,” Jake muttered under his breath when he saw Ravenwood.  “Cover me, Bill.”

Bill nodded and watched Jake push through the front door.  Two groups stood there:  inside, a handful of Rangers, nervous but on edge, and outside, Goetz and Ravenwood, armed and menacing.  Bill’s hair stood on end; this might go really horribly for Jericho tonight.

Jake pulled his pistol on Goetz and Bill tensed, checking his own grip.  He stood at the door as Jake talked, never taking his eyes off Goetz’s backup.  If they moved, he was ready.

The discussion was short, as everyone expected.  Goetz wanted Mimi – claimed he needed to question her about the death of three Ravenwood men – and Jake refused.  Goetz seemed nonplussed, even amused.  He warned Jake about the consequences of holding out against them and still Jake refused to back down.

The moment Jake took a step backwards, Bill was there, pistol up to cover Jake’s retreat.  He knew he was scowling fiercely at Ravenwood, but compared to what he wanted to be doing and yelling, it was tame.  He couldn’t give in to that, as much as he wanted to shoot every one of those bastards for what they did to Bonnie and Mimi and Stanley.

Maybe he’d get his chance later; this was obviously going to be a standoff.  They needed to dig in well, then.  The clinic wasn’t an ideal stronghold, but it was all they had. 

It was going to be a long, long night.

 

“Ravenwood wants Mimi,” Jake said, voice raised so all the Rangers could hear.  “They aren’t getting her without coming through us, but under no circumstances is _anyone_ to fire on them unless you have to.  Self-defense or defense of others only.  Major Beck will deal with Goetz in the morning, so we just have to hold them off until then.  If we fire, Beck will treat us as rebels.  Don’t give him a reason!”

Jake divided the Rangers up: some to guard entrances, some to continue building barricades, and others to stay as a permanent guard outside Mimi’s room.

Bill stayed with Jake, looking over the building layout the nurses helped him draw up and planning the best strategies for defense.  Jimmy had just come back to update on the barricades – halfway up – when the power went.

“I guess we knew this was coming,” Bill said wryly, shouldering his rifle as Jake ordered the barricades finished quicker.  He dove in with Jimmy, moving furniture out of exam rooms and offices to block the front doors.  It was a bit eerie, working like that when the Ravenwood men were on the other side of the glass, just watching them with half amused expressions.  Bill noticed a couple Humvees pulling out of the clinic lot.  Wherever they were going, it couldn’t be good.

 

Sarah was in the bedroom with her feet propped up, waiting for Bill to come home.  She’d situated herself so she could multitask: pet Sadie with one hand, read with the other, and keep an eye out the front window for Bill’s car coming home.

A car coming down the street got her hopes up, but the headlights weren’t a match for Bill’s SUV.  She started to go back to her book, but the vehicle turned into the driveway.

Sarah felt a quick chill.  That wasn’t right.  Quickly, she clicked off the lamp and grabbed her revolver from the nightstand drawer.  She crept back to the window, trying to stuff the revolver in the small of her back, but failing - her clothes were too tight.  She stuffed it in her back pocket instead.

It was a military Humvee, she saw now, with two black-uniformed men getting out.  Ravenwood.  What were they doing here?

The doorbell rang and Sadie ran to the door, barking.  Sarah pulled the dog back and tried to pretend she wasn’t there, but the doorbell kept ringing.  “Fine, fine.” 

She opened the door, doing her best to look grumpy.  “I was in bed,” she said.

“We’re looking for Sarah Koehler.  Is that you?” one of the Ravenwood men asked brusquely. 

“I’m she.”  Sarah crossed her arms.  “What do you need?”

“There’s a hostage situation happening at the clinic.  Deputy Koehler is involved.  We need you to come with us and help persuade him to leave the situation before it escalates.”

“I’m not sure I should be getting involved in anything,” Sarah said, indicating her belly.  “If you haven’t noticed, I’m on light duty for the next three months.”

The Ravenwood men raised their guns.  “That wasn’t a request, ma’am.  It’s an order.”

 

“Jake,” Jimmy said urgently, staring out one of the clinic windows.

“What?  What is it?” asked Jake, joining him.

“I don’t know, but Goetz is getting out.  He’s got someone with him.”  Jimmy’s voice sounded ominously serious, making Bill frown.

The phone rang.

The whole room spun to stare at the desk and Fred reached over carefully to answer.  He listened for a moment and held the phone out to one of the other Rangers.  “Gary, it’s your wife.”

Gary grabbed the phone.  His end of the conversation wasn’t clear, but when he turned back around to the group, Bill was horrified.

“It’s Chloe,” Gary said.  “She’s outside.  They just went into the house and got her!  Look, I’m with you guys – you know I am – but she’s scared out of her mind.”

“You should go,” said Jake firmly.  “It’s all right. Go.”       

“It’s okay, Gary.”  Bill stepped forward and gestured for Gary’s rifle and clapped him on the back as he turned away.  He spoke softly and calmly because he had to; if he didn’t keep a firm grip on his emotions right now, he would panic.

The room was hushed as they moved furniture out of the way so Gary could leave, but Jimmy broke the silence.  “They’re going after our families?” he asked incredulously.

Bill felt sick.  Sarah was a prime target.  What would he do if she showed up in Goetz’s grasp?

Jake swallowed and spoke up again.  “Anyone else who wants to leave can.  We’re not going to keep you here if your families need you.  Leave your weapons behind and there’ll be no hard feelings.”  He fell silent, watching to see if anyone would take the opportunity.

No one did.  After another moment, Jake continued.  “Okay then.  Let’s fortify.  Swap out the door guards; those guys need breaks.”  He pointed people in different directions, sending Bill and Jimmy to guard the back entrance.

 

The Ravenwood truck Sarah was in sped through town until they reached the J&R office.  Sarah was led to one of Ravenwood’s holding cells and given a chair.

“Wait a minute,” she asked nervously.  “I thought there was something wrong at the clinic.  Aren’t you going to take me there?”

“We’ll take you when you’re needed.”

Sarah gulped and tried to push down the anxiety that was rising.  Was the clinic a ruse?  Was she going to disappear?  What had she done to deserve this?

At least they hadn’t patted her down.  People always assumed the pregnant lady was harmless.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Jimmy, if you keep asking me that, I’m going to shoot _you_ ,” Bill said, only half joking.  He didn’t have time to deal with how he felt.  They had a job to do.  Emotions could come later.

There was a scuffle and a knock on the door.  Bill and Jimmy looked at each other and raised their rifles.

“Who is it?” asked Jimmy.

Bill tried not to roll his eyes.  Jimmy shrugged.

“Jimmy, open the door,” came a familiar voice - Hawkins, Bill thought.

“Mr. Hawkins?” Jimmy asked, incredulous.

“Yeah.”

Jimmy went to open the door a crack.  Bill didn’t lower his weapon in case Hawkins was a hostage, too - although he had trouble picturing the FBI agent as a hostage.

Hawkins burst in, pushing a Ravenwood prisoner ahead of him.  “I come bearing gifts.”

Bill shouldered his rifle and looked smugly at the Ravenwood man.  “Come on,” he said, taking the man’s arm.  “We’re going to get you taken care of.”

 

Sarah sat quietly in the holding cell, mind going a thousand miles a minute. 

What the Ravenwood men said made no sense.  If Bill was being held hostage, her being there wouldn’t help.  If Bill was _holding_ someone hostage… well, that just made no sense.  Bill wouldn’t do that.

What was going on?

She touched the revolver in her back pocket for reassurance.  She had _some_ protection if she needed it.

 

“We’ve got a mole,” Jimmy whispered to Bill.

“Shit.”  Bill looked around at all the other Rangers in sight.  “Who?”

“I don’t know, but they knocked out Frank and let the Ravenwood guy go.”

“Shit,” Bill repeated.  Jesus, could the night get any worse?  “Oh and look, Jake and Hawkins are conspiring.  They’re plotting something, you know.”

“Yeah.  Trouble’s about to happen,” Jimmy said.

“Jimmy, Bill,” called Jake, gesturing them over.

The two men looked at each other.  Whatever was happening, they were about to get dragged into it.

“I’ve got a job for you two,” Jake said.  “Think you can handle it?”

“Well, that depends,” Bill said.  “What do you need us to do?”

“Take a couple of the fire axes from the ambulance bay and go knock a hole in the wall between us and the feed store.  I want it big enough to fit all of us through.”

“You really think we can get out that way?” Jimmy asked.

“They’ve got the building surrounded,” Bill added.

“Just do it,” Jake instructed.

 

The Ravenwood men outside the holding cell got a call over the radio - report to the clinic.

Sarah hoped they’d let her go, but they just made sure the door was locked and left her in.

She was alone in the dark J&R building.  Forgotten, even.

Sarah sat there for about ten minutes before deciding to act.  She pulled her gun and aimed at the cell lock.  It worked in the movies; maybe it’d work for her.  She pulled the trigger.

A deafening _bang_ filled the room and Sarah dropped the gun and put her hands over her ringing ears.  Her eyes watered from the puff of gunpowder.

It took her a minute to notice the door was ajar now.  She was free.

Where to go?  Home?  No, they’d just come back and get her again once they discovered her missing.  Really, the only answer was the clinic, but she had to avoid Ravenwood.

She slunk out the front of the J&R building, watching the street closely for any activity.  As quietly as she could, she made for the back of the clinic, taking the long way around the buildings.  Maybe pregnancy clumsiness wouldn’t give her away.

 

Bill took a break from chopping through the drywall and studs and let Jimmy take a turn.

“I hope this works,” Jimmy said.

“It’ll work.  Just have to make it a little bigger,” Bill replied.

“It’s too small?  What, you don’t think I can fit through that hole?” asked Jimmy, mock-seriously.

Bill shrugged.  “You’re gonna want to make it bigger.”  He grinned at Jimmy, surprised he could find some levity tonight.

Jimmy started chopping again.  “You know, you can be a jerk,” he said.

“Hey, you started the joke,” Bill protested.  “I was being serious at first.  We gotta make this believable.”

“What do you think’s going to happen next?  Are we really going to escape through this?”

“I don’t know,” Bill said.  “But I don’t think so.  I think we have to trick Ravenwood into thinking we left.”

“And then we can leave for real?  I want to get home and check on Margaret and the kids.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Bill said, grateful that Sarah was probably safe at home.  Probably.  He hoped.  “Let’s just get this done so we can get out of here.”

“Got it.  But it’s your turn.”

Bill lifted up the axe again and started hacking away at the exposed support.

 

Jake popped in to see how the hole was coming.  “That looks good, guys,” he said.

Bill wiped sweat from his brow.  “Thank goodness.”

“Go get Mimi and Stanley and take them down to an empty morgue room.  Get everyone there and keep them quiet.  Bill, you patrol the hallway.  We’re going to lure Ravenwood in to the top floor and convince them we left this way.”

“See, told you,” Bill said, pointing at Jimmy.  “I was _right_.”

“Don’t be insufferable,” Jimmy said, rolling his eyes.

 

Seeing Stanley brought sobriety back to Bill’s demeanor.  He might joke with Jimmy, but Stanley…  Stanley was hurting too bad.  And thinking of Stanley’s hurt reminded Bill of his own.

Bill couldn’t give into it, though.  Not yet.

Everyone was sequestered in a morgue room, keeping quiet.  Bill stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for the all clear signal from Jake and Hawkins.

“Psst, Bill!”  Jake’s voice came from the top of the stairs.  “We’re good!”

Bill ran down the hallway and burst in the door.  “All clear”.

He led the group upstairs into the main hallway and saw Jake standing with Fred Drummond.  The mole.  Bill couldn’t help but glower at the man a little.  He was their next door neighbor, a generally good man, and Bill understood he’d been pressured, but still… he sold them out.  At least he hadn’t been the cause of anyone else getting hurt.

“Go home, Fred,” Jake told him firmly, repeating it when Fred tried to apologize.

Fred started to leave, chastised, but paused.  “Jake, th… they’ve got reinforcements coming.  They said they’re meeting a hundred Ravenwood men at the crossroads – eight a.m. at Route 23 and Cherry Valley Road.”

Jake just nodded.  “Let’s go,” he told the group. 

They saw Fred out the front door and away towards home.  Once they were sure he was gone, Jimmy led the whole group to the back door.  “We’re going the back way to the church.  We’ll spend the night there and then go out to meet Goetz before his reinforcements arrive.  Once we’ve got him in custody for Beck, we can all go home.  In the meantime, the church’ll have a phone so you can call your families to tell them you’re okay.  Ravenwood probably doesn’t have our house phones tapped, but don’t say too much just in case.”

 

Sarah made it to the clinic a little out of breath but just in time to see the group emerge from the ambulance bay doors.  She waited a second and then started following them, trying to catch up.

Hawkins spotted her first.  He spun around, gun aimed directly at her.

Sarah froze.  This was the second time tonight she’d been threatened with a gun - not a habit she wanted to keep up. 

Bill recognized her and forced Hawkins gun down.  “My wife,” he hissed softly.

Sarah came running up and into Bill’s arms.  “Ravenwood came and got me.  I escaped,” she said quietly.  “What happened?”

“We’re going to the church.  I’ll tell you there.”  Bill gripped her hand tight and pulled her along with the group.

Sarah looked around.  Mimi in a hospital gown, Stanley looking angry… what happened?  Where was Bonnie?

 

Jimmy – whose family attended this church – led the group to a side entrance by the Sunday school classroom and pointed out the Fellowship Hall.  According to him, they still had all the refugee’s cots folded up in the closets, as well as some pillows and blankets.

Jake waved Jimmy and Frank over as soon as the group was safely inside.  “Let’s go check upstairs just to be certain,” he said, pointing to where Hawkins was already waiting by the stairs.

Bill helped Sarah set up two cots side by side and snagged a couple threadbare blankets and pillows.  It wasn’t going to be comfortable, but it’d do for a night.  And if she really felt like complaining, she just had to remind herself that Bill’s grandfather slept in many worse places in the military.

Bill sat Sarah down on the cot next to him and held her hand.  “You’re okay?” he asked.  “Did they hurt you at all?”

She shook her head.  “Scared, yes.  They threatened me with guns to get me to go with them, but no one touched me.”

“That’s good.  If something happened to you or the baby…” he trailed off.

“Bill, you can’t let worry about us stop you from doing your job,” she said, realizing she was making the exact opposite argument from two months ago.  But this was different.  This wasn’t war, was it?

Bill looked at her silently, eyes cold and haunted.

The look sent a shiver down Sarah’s spine.  She’d never seen Bill so broken and hiding it.

“What happened, babe?”

“Mimi caught Goetz embezzling money from J&R.  He went out to the farm to kill her and take her ledger, but…  Mimi hid and she just got shot once.  Bonnie, on the other hand…”

Another chill washed over Sarah.  “No.”

Bill nodded.  “Yes,” he said quietly.  “They killed her.”

Sarah watched him as he spoke, recognizing the devastation in his eyes even as he kept his voice calm.  Oh God, Bonnie, of all people.  She was just a teenager; this wasn’t supposed to happen to her.  And Bill loved her like a baby sister, too…

“We just have to stay out of the way of Ravenwood until the morning.  Then Beck will be back and he can help us.  Mimi’s got the proof, or gave it to someone or something like that.”  Bill yawned.  He stood abruptly.  “I’m going to go check upstairs again.  See if they need a watchman.”

“Bill, no,” Sarah pled, reaching for him, but he ignored her.

 

Sarah sat on her cot, listening to the others use the phone to call home.  She didn’t want to lie down yet; she might fall asleep as soon as she did, and she wanted to make sure Bill was okay first.

Jake, Jimmy, and Hawkins came back in the room, catching Sarah’s attention.  Jimmy made a brief announcement pointing out where the church offices were, if people wanted to call home, and Jake reminded everyone to keep it brief and general.

Jimmy caught her eye and walked over.  “Bill’s still upstairs.  He needed a minute.”

“Is he okay, you think?” she asked, concerned.

He shrugged uncertainly.  “He’s playing this one close to his chest.”

Sarah sighed.  “I’m gonna go find him.”

Jimmy helped her up.  “It’s probably a good idea.”

 

Sarah didn’t have to search for Bill very long; he was sitting in the sanctuary, in the same pew he and Jimmy had used during the first memorial service after the bombs.  She felt a quick pang, recalling that Stanley and Bonnie had sat right behind them.

She didn’t say anything, just slid in next to him and laid a hand on his knee.  Almost reflexively, he reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight.

There was just enough light for her to see the tears glistening on his cheek.  She wished she were better at this, that her words didn’t always fail her at moments like this.  Carefully, she reached her other arm out, wrapping it around his shoulders and laying her head on his shoulder.

Bill shook with silent sobs, and Sarah felt like she was on the verge of joining him.  She’d loved Bonnie too, but… but not as much or as long as Bill had.  He’d considered the Richmonds to be family.  As much as Bonnie’s death hurt her, she ached even more for Bill and Stanley.

There weren’t words that could make this better, at least not any that she knew, so she held Bill, rubbing a hand over his back in a way she hoped was reassuring.  Other than the tight grip he had on her other hand, he gave no indication he even knew she was there.

Slowly, he regained control: the shaking slowed, the tears thinned, and he breathed a little more evenly.

“You don’t have to stop,” Sarah whispered.  “Not on my account.”

He shook his head, shifting so that she was in his arms instead.  “No, I just needed a moment to let it out.  I don’t understand,” he confessed.  “Haven’t we lost enough?  Things were getting better.  I thought we’d seen the last of it, but then this…”

He trailed off and a few more tears ran down his cheeks.  “Why Bonnie?” he asked, voice raw.  “Why not me or Jimmy or someone who was older, who’d already lived?”

“Oh, Bill!”  Sarah held his face in her hands, touching her forehead to his.  “This was a horrible thing, but there wasn’t anything you could have done to stop it.  You know we can’t always understand…  I can’t say I believe that Bonnie’s death was God’s will, but… but I know He can still make something good of her life.  And it was a good one, right?  She had you and Stanley and Mimi and her friends and she was loved.”

Bill shook his head again, as if he could change reality through sheer force of denial.  “It still should have been me.  Somebody other than her.”

“Babe… hon, no.  Don’t say that.  You can’t bargain for her.  You can’t trade yourself for her.”

 “I know.  But I would have.  If I could, I still would.”

Sarah looked at him, stricken.  “Please don’t say that.  Don’t even think about leaving me.  Leaving us,” she argued, pulling his hand to her belly.  “We need you here.”

“I would, though.  If that’s what it took to keep you safe.  Or our baby.  My parents.  Jimmy and Margaret and their kids, too.  Stanley and… and Bonnie.  Our family.”  He wouldn’t quite meet her eyes.

“I know,” she murmured.  “But you can’t always protect everyone.  You’re human; you can’t.  You just do your best – and you have.”

Bill pulled away, turning to face the front of the sanctuary.  “I’m supposed to.  That’s my job.”

Oh, how Sarah’s heart ached for him, how she wanted to be able to change what had happened.  “You can’t feel guilty over this, Bill.  You couldn’t have done anything.”

“I could have shot Goetz the first time he came into Jericho.  Or when he came back.  I could have brought Jimmy with us to chase down Dale and then Stanley would have been home.  I could have–”

“Stop,” Sarah insisted.  “I was there at the bridge.  I could have shot him, too.  And if we’d shot Goetz at the bridge, Ravenwood might have rolled over us.  And Beck would have executed you if you’d tried anything last month.  And if Stanley had been there… you might be mourning them both.  You are a good man, Bill.  Everything you did, you did because you made the best choice you knew how to.”

He just shook his head again and stayed silent, crying once more.

It was another long silence before he spoke again.  “She was six when Stanley did the first corn maze,” he said softly.  Even though she’d heard the story before, Sarah listened to Bill retell it, smiling a bit at the memory even as tears filled his eyes.

She reached out for his hand once more, rubbing her thumb across his knuckles.  “You remember that first time I met her?  She was just thirteen.  That’s when I learned you knew sign language and I could see even then how much you two meant to each other.  I used to wonder if I’d ever outrank the Richmonds in your affection,” she admitted.

That pulled a slight chuckle from Bill, and they sat there for close to an hour occasionally swapping stories of Bonnie, including some Sarah had never heard before.  The silences between were reflective and she suspected Bill was doing quite a bit of praying.  Outwardly, at least, he didn’t seem to be despairing, but he’d always been good at shutting the really intense emotions away.

Finally, Bill stood, pulling her to her feet.  “We need to get some sleep.  We’re gonna try to catch Goetz out at the crossroads.  You need to stay here, though; I don’t want you running into any Ravenwood men left in town until we know he’s taken care of.”

Sarah knew he was right; it made sense to stay hidden and safe until Beck returned, but she also wanted to be with him.  It wasn’t worth the fight though, not when they were both tired and emotionally drained, so she just nodded.

“Stanley and Mimi will be here, too.  Maybe a couple other Rangers, too, just to stand guard.  You won’t be here alone,” he added, voice returning steadily to normal and he regained his composure.

He led her through the dark hallways and down the stairs, but Sarah pulled him to a stop outside the Fellowship Hall for one last moment with a semblance of privacy.  She tugged him down into a kiss and whispered softly, “I love you.  You’ve done a wonderful job protecting us all so far.  One horrible thing doesn’t negate that, so please don’t let that make you reckless tomorrow.  I need you back in one piece this time.”

 

Jimmy shook Bill awake at sunrise.  “C’mon, get moving.  Up and at ‘em, Koehler.  We’ve got to be at the crossroads before Goetz gets there.  Should be a pretty good show.”

Bill slowly sat up; the night had been too long and too short simultaneously.  Had all those things really happened?  The pit in his stomach said they had.

Sarah still slept on the cot beside his and he quietly put his shoes and uniform shirt back on, then followed Jimmy out of the hall.

Jimmy was wrangling the half-awake group as if he’d had a full night’s sleep.  How did he do it, Bill wondered?

“There’s some stuff left in the kitchen over there, if you want to grab something to eat on the way.  We’re driving most of the way out there and then hiking the rest of the way in so Ravenwood doesn’t spot us.”

Bill nodded and dug around in a cabinet until he found a bag of chips.  “This’ll work,” he muttered, munching and offering some to Jake.  “My car’s still at the clinic, but I bet we can grab it without any trouble.  You riding with me?”

Jake nodded.  “Sure, if we can get it.”

The kitchen raid produced meager results, but all the Rangers filed out anyway, piling into the few cars they had easy access to.  Bill’s SUV ended up carrying six; he had to bite his tongue not to make a comment about seat belts.

 

It was cold when Sarah woke up.  Figured; she’d lost her human bed warmer.  Rolling over, she saw that the room had emptied out.  Mimi and Stanley were curled up together in a corner.  If anyone else was still in the church, they weren’t in the Hall.

Sarah sat up, stretching.  She tried to straighten her clothes over her newly seventh month belly, but there was only so much she could do.  She wrapped a blanket around herself instead and noticed Bill had left one of his guns for her, not realizing she had her own.

“Good morning,” she said cautiously to Stanley and Mimi, sitting together in a corner of the room.

Stanley said nothing.

Mimi spoke up from across the room, just barely loud enough to be understood.  “Trish was able to recreate the ledger.  I talked to her this morning and Goetz isn’t going to find replacements; he’s being met with a pink slip instead.  But until that happens, he can still give orders.”

“That’s good,” Sarah said, walking over to them.  “How are you doing?

Mimi didn’t answer, just looked back at her hands, fiddling nervously.

Sarah frowned and made her way over to kneel – slowly – by Stanley.  “I’m so sorry,” she said.  “I don’t know what to say.”

Stanley didn’t respond, either.  He looked up at Sarah and her eyes widened at the anger in his face.  She’d never seen Stanley like that; he was almost always joking and optimistic.

She looked at Mimi for some sort of reassurance, but only found worry and guilt.

Today was not going to be an easy one, it seemed.  But could she blame them?  She was still in shock over it all herself.

Biting her lip, Sarah tried to decide whether to say anything else or leave Stanley to brood.  Her mind was made up for her, though: Stanley stood suddenly and looked at Sarah.

“I need to go walk.  Move.  Do something.  Give me your gun in case one of Goetz’s goons finds me,” he instructed.

Cowed by Stanley’s new attitude, Sarah slowly handed Stanley Bill’s extra gun.

“Stanley!” Mimi tried to follow him, struggling to her feet with one arm.  “Let me come with you.”

He shook his head.  “I need to do this alone.  Stay here.”

He left before Sarah could also get back up.  She looked up at Mimi, worried.  “That probably isn’t good.”

“No.”  Mimi was ashen-faced.  “He’s not thinking straight.”

Sarah covered her face with her hands.  “I can’t believe I did that.”

“If he’s got a plan for it… he would have found a gun one way or another,” Mimi tried to reassure.  “I hope he really is just going for a walk.”  Sarah didn’t believe it, though.

“Should we follow?” Sarah asked quietly.  “I don’t think he’ll listen to reason, but…”

Mimi shook her head.

Sarah reached out and grabbed Mimi’s hand.  “We’ll get through this.  Thanks to you, we’ll be rid of Goetz and he’ll have to face up to all he’s done.”

 

It was hard for Bill to watch this.  As soon as he’d seen Goetz, he’d wanted to take him out immediately.  He couldn’t, though.  Goetz needed to face justice; if Bill killed him for revenge, he’d drag it out and make him pay - slowly - for what he did to Bonnie.  If he did that, though, he’d be no different from Goetz, and Bill couldn’t give in to that dark side of himself.  Not when he knew what was right.

So he waited.  If he took a bit of pleasure in the moment Trish spit in Goetz’s face, well, that was okay.

The Ravenwood convoy drove off, leaving Goetz and a handful of his men – those who had opted to quit out of personal loyalty to their leader.  Jake held up a fist, the signal for the Rangers to hold.  Bill used the moment to ready himself; safety off, round chambered, and ready to spring up and start running.

As soon as the convoy was out of sight, Jake yelled and Bill was off.  He wasn’t shooting, not yet, but as soon as Ravenwood started firing on them, he was more than happy to return the favor.

All of a sudden, there was too much gunfire.  “Who is that?” Eric yelled, and Bill saw the second group coming out of the brush to the north.

Hawkins called for a cease fire as soon as Goetz raised his hands in surrender.  Bill was almost disappointed the man gave up so easily.

Everyone ran up to Goetz, who stood in the midst of his fallen and injured men, and was arguing before they stopped moving.  The other group was the New Bern resistance, who wanted to take Goetz back and make him pay for what he did to their town.  Bill sympathized with them, but… but Goetz was caught in Jericho County, not Fillmore.  He was theirs.  He had to be theirs.

 

In the midst of the argument, Bill heard something loud coming up from behind them and briefly wondered what was coming next.  Turning, he saw Stanley get out of his truck and stride purposefully towards them.

Bill jerked, trying to keep his rifle aimed at the New Bern men but it was hard with Stanley right there.

Stanley strode forward purposefully and didn’t stop until he had a pistol pointed right at Goetz’s head.  He didn’t listen to anyone calling his name; as soon as Goetz turned his head to look at him, Stanley pulled the trigger.

Goetz dropped and so did Stanley, retching into the grass.  Bill froze for a moment, then ran to Stanley’s side, supporting him.  Jake and Hawkins were talking – Hawkins pointing out that they might as well let New Bern take the body now – but Bill was more concerned with Stanley.

He didn’t know what to say.  Stanley had fought with the Rangers before, he’d shot people in the New Bern battle, but this…  This was revenge, pure and simple.  It was murder.  He’d never thought Stanley could have done such a thing.  “C’mon, man, stand up.”

 

The New Bern men grabbed Goetz’s body and left.  The Rangers just stood there in stunned silence, Stanley still weak-kneed and leaning on Bill and Emily.

“Beck is gonna find him.  He’s gonna come after us now,” Jake said slowly.

“He won’t know immediately,” Hawkins pointed out.  “He’s still in New Bern and then his men have to actually _find_ the body.  We’ve got an hour or two.”

Jake frowned, obviously trying to come up with a plan.  “Go home,” he said after a moment.  “Go home and make sure your families are safe.  Pack clothes and guns and ammo and then we’ll all meet up and find a place to hide until this blows over.  Anyone who was at the clinic needs to be with us.”

“How will we know where to go?” asked Jimmy.

“We’ll call you all at home in half an hour, tell you where to meet.  We should all be together.”

Bill grabbed Stanley and marched him back to his SUV, squeezing him in with the other passengers.

Bill gripped the steering wheel tightly and said nothing until they hit town limits.  “We’re going back to the church,” he said tersely.  “Everyone but Stanley is getting out.  I’m getting Sarah and Mimi and we’re going to my house.  Stanley, you can wait until _we_ pack and then we’re going to your house.  I’m not letting you out of my sight right now.”

Stanley didn’t say anything.  His eyes were glazed over, as if he was completely out of touch with everything that had happened.

That might be for the best.

 


	15. May 1st - 5th: The End of Canon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episodes 2-06 and 2-07: fugitives and hideouts and Phase Three

**May 1 st \- May 5th**

“I want to go back to the clinic,” Mimi said feebly as they left the church.  “I’m not feeling well.  I’m shaky and I think I’m bleeding again.”

Bill glanced at Mimi in the rear view mirror.  She was right; a spot of blood showed on her hospital gown.

Damn.  They couldn’t take her with them.  She needed medical attention.  He made a U-turn on the empty streets.

“Okay but the rest of you are coming,” Bill said sternly.  They had to keep Stanley safe from Beck and he wasn’t letting Sarah out of his sight, not after Ravenwood _took her from their house_.  That one fact terrified him more than any other.

Sarah looked at him sadly and he knew she was about to argue with him.  No, damn it, don’t do that.

“Bill, I’ll just slow you down.  Beck doesn’t know I’m with you now.  He can’t prove I know where you’re going.  I need to stay home.”

Bill slammed a fist on the steering wheel, making everyone in the car jump.  “Damn it, Sarah, I can’t let you be alone.  What if Beck sends out Ravenwood?  What if he tries to question you?”

“What if something happens and I go into early labor?  What if _I_ need a doctor?  What if you need to hide?  Bill, I’m not as flexible as I was before.  There’s a lot to think about.”  Sarah wrung her hands in her lap.  “It… it makes more sense if I stay home.”

Bill didn’t say anything.  She was right, but every bone in his body screamed out to keep her close, to keep her in sight.  Too much bad could happen when they were apart.

But like she said, bad could happen if she went.  At least if she stayed home, she had the chance to go to his parents or to be with Margaret.  If she came with him… well, he didn’t know how long they’d have to hide.  Beck could find them all today or he could find them in a week. 

Beck _would_ find them, though.  Bill knew that deep down.

Bill turned into the parking lot of the clinic, pulling right up to the doors.  “Stay here,” he instructed, looking at Stanley and Sarah.

He needn’t have said anything to Stanley.  He remained almost catatonic, silent and still.  Mimi gave him a kiss on the cheek, but he didn’t react.

How was he going to save Stanley, too?

 

At their house, Bill rushed from room to room, stuffing clothes, canned food, weapons, and ammo into duffel bags.

Sarah helped Stanley into the kitchen and tried to get him to drink a glass of water.  If she put it in front of him, he’d drink, but that was it.  No other interactions got a reaction out of him, not even food.  When it became obvious that Stanley wouldn’t eat it, she took the sandwich to Bill.

“Can’t.  Too busy,” he said, digging through a drawer in their bedroom.

“Bill, you will stop and eat something or I will shove it in your mouth anyway.  You haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday.”

Bill looked up at her.  “I’m a little too stressed to be hungry, Sarah.  You staying here doesn’t help that.”

Sarah set the sandwich plate on the dresser in front of Bill.  “I don’t care.  I’m not taking no for an answer.  And I _am_ staying here.  A few months ago, maybe I’d’ve gone with you.  But last night was as much action as I want to see right now.” 

Bill glared at her.  “Then help me pack.” 

“What are you looking for?”  Sarah sat on the bed to rest a moment.

“Socks.  I need two more pairs.”

Sarah laughed.  Only a guy as meticulous as Bill would probably care about packing plenty of socks.  “I’ll go check the laundry, see if there are any that haven’t been put away yet.”

The phone rang on her way out to the garage.

It was Jake.  “Put Bill on.  I don’t want you to know where we are.”

Sarah blinked at that, but called Bill to the phone.  He listened carefully, nodding, before hanging up without saying goodbye.

“So you know where you’re going?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah.  I shouldn’t tell you, though.”  Bill looked down at his feet, as if ashamed.

“Hey, I can’t tell what I don’t know, right?  I’ll worry about you, you’ll worry about me, but hopefully this will all blow over soon.”  Sarah cupped Bill’s cheek, lifting his face to look at her.  “You need to head out.”

Bill grabbed the hand on his cheek and clung to it.  “I don’t want to leave you,” he said.  “I want to stay home and mourn Bonnie.  I want Stanley to be okay.  I want to stay with you.”

Sarah kissed Bill, pulling him as close as she could.  He grabbed the back of her head and wouldn’t let go.  “Bill.  You really need to go before Beck finds out,” she whispered.

“I’ll grab my socks,” he said, finally pulling away.

 

Bill met the others outside of town at Murphy’s Garage.  It was owned by one of the Rangers’ brother.  Hopefully Beck wouldn’t catch on to the connection too quickly.

Bill led Stanley in and was immediately met by Jake and Emily. 

“Stanley.  Stanley,” Jake said, snapping his fingers in Stanley’s face.  He looked at Bill.  “Is he not talking?”

Bill let his duffels and the ones he’d packed for Stanley hit the ground in a corner of the room.  “Nope.  Not eating either.”

“Well, shit,” Jake said.  He led Stanley to an oil-stained couch in the back of the garage.

“Are we all here,” Bill asked, “or did you split us up?”

“Split us up.  Ranger leadership is all here.  Jimmy and Eric should be arriving soon.”

Bill nodded.  That made sense.  He didn’t ask where the others were, remembering what Sarah said: he couldn’t talk if he didn’t know.

“Bill, I need you to go double check the perimeter.  Make sure it looks normal outside.”

“My car’s out there.  Where do I need to park it?”

Jake looked around.  “We’re in a garage, Bill.  Drive it on in.  Or park it in the grass behind the place.”

Bill looked for an empty maintenance stall.  He found one on the end and pressed the button to open the door.  He jumped at how loud and squeaky the door was.  “Do they not oil the things?” he yelled to Jake.

Jake gave an exaggerated shrug.  “Hell if I know!”

Once Bill had his SUV parked inside, he rolled out a blanket in the spacious trunk.  If they had to spend the night, he’d just sleep here.  Alone.  Without Sarah.

Jesus, he hoped she was doing okay.

 

Sarah stood at a library window, watching the soldiers deploy on the street.

“Jeez,” said Joanna.  “Overkill, much?”

“I’m afraid it’s just the start,” Sarah said.  “We should be working but I can’t stop watching this.”

“Me either.”

“S…Sarah?” came a tentative voice behind them.  “Major Beck is at the front desk asking if you’re here.”

Sarah looked at the desk with wide eyes.  Beck was already on his way over, followed by two soldiers.  Other soldiers deployed through the library, checking each stack for hiding Rangers.

“Where is your husband?” Beck asked without prelude, his men pushing Joanna out of the area.

“I don’t know!  I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning,” Sarah said.

Beck looked at her.  “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true!  He never came home last night and I haven’t heard from him.”

“All clear!” came a call from the back of the library.

Beck looked closely at Sarah.  “I think you know where they are.  You’re going to come to the station with us.” 

He gestured at his men and the next thing Sarah knew, her arms were being jerked behind her and secured into zip ties.  “Hey, wait a minute!  You can’t do this!  I don’t know anything!”

“We’ll see about that,” Beck said ominously.  He pointed at the two men holding Sarah.  “Take her to the station.  I’ll question her after we finish this sweep.”

Sarah stumbled out of the library, dragged by the soldiers holding her arms.  They shoved her into a Humvee unceremoniously.

She gulped.  It hadn’t taken Beck long to find out - and find her.  She hoped Bill and the others were faring better.

 

It’d only been a few hours and everyone already had cabin fever.  Bill wished he’d brought a deck of cards or something, but entertainment hadn’t been at the top of his mind when he packed.

Jimmy paced the garage.  “My kids are probably freaking out.  I should be home right now.”

“They’re already watching our homes, Jimmy.  Getting yourself arrested isn’t gonna help your family,” Eric said.  He and Jake were loading rifle magazines and Bill wondered if he should be doing the same.

But still…  Beck was a good, principled man.  Surely he’d listen if they turned themselves in.  “We should go plead our case to Beck,” Bill said.  “Goetz was a murderer.  It had to be done.”

“Unfortunately, Beck said no revenge killings,” Jake reminded everyone.  “He’s not going to let it go.”

Stanley stood and walked toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Jake asked, setting down the ammo he held.

“Turning myself in,” said Stanley, the first words he’d said since last night.

“No, Stanley!”  Jake ran and pushed Stanley up against a car to stop him.  Eric and Jimmy rushed to help him.  Bill didn’t: he knew Stanley outclassed him weight-wise any day.  He wouldn’t be any help.

“You’re staying here with us!” Jake insisted.  “That’s all there is to it.”

“Just let me go, please,” Stanley muttered, shaking his head.

A pounding on the door interrupted things.

Bill perked up, pulling his weapon.  Someone finding them already wasn’t a good sign.

They opened the door and Robert Hawkins stepped in.  Everyone in the room breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Emily led Stanley back to a chair.  Jake handed Bill his ammo and magazines to load and he went off to talk to Hawkins in a corner.

Bill and Jimmy exchanged looks.  What were they plotting now?

Bill watched as Hawkins shook his head and Jake approached the table.  “I’m going to go try to talk to Beck.  Turn myself in in exchange for amnesty for you all.”

“Jake, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Emily asked.

“It’s the best option we have.  Beck respects me.  He might listen to me.”  Jake set his shoulders.  He’d made up his mind.

 

“I _told_ you, I don’t know where they are.  I haven’t seen Bill since yesterday,” Sarah insisted, for the fiftieth time.

Beck sat backwards on a chair in the interrogation room, staring Sarah down.  “And I told you, I don’t believe you.  It’ll be easier on everyone if they’re found quickly.”

“Why?  What are you going to do to them?”

“You should worry what’s going to happen to Jericho if they’re not found.”  Beck never looked away, making Sarah uncomfortable with his stare.

“No, what are you going to do to my husband?” Sarah insisted, trying to meet Beck’s gaze.

“That depends.  If we get Stanley - yes, I know he was the shooter - then your husband can turn himself in and go free.  But if he continues to resist arrest…  Well.  Then things get serious.  So you see, it’s better if you tell me where they are _now_.”

“I couldn’t tell you even if I wanted to,” Sarah said softly, taking in what Beck had said.  “I really and truly don’t know.”

She looked around the room for a bit, unable to take Beck’s staring.  “You’re going to kill the shooter, aren’t you?  And the Rangers if they resist.”

Beck nodded.  “If they resist.  If you tell me where they are, I’ll let you go in first and get them to surrender.”

Sarah scoffed.  “I’m not helping you.  I’m not helping you find and kill my husband.”

A lieutenant knocked at the door and stuck his head in.  “Sir?  Jake Green’s outside, says he wants to surrender to you.”

Beck stood quickly.  “Someone will be back to talk to you.  Think about what I’ve said.”

 

Sarah sat for an hour before a private showed up. 

“Ma’am, would you like to make a statement?”

Sarah looked up at the soldier.  “No,” she said simply.

He stepped in the room.  “Then you’re free to go until Major needs to question you again.”

Sarah stood, unsure whether to trust him. 

“You really are free to go,” he reiterated.

Sarah walked briskly past him and through the station before anyone could stop her.  She didn’t stop until she was outside, in the fresh air again.  Soldiers guarded Town Hall, but there was enough room for her to slink behind them - barely.  Sarah generally found she was always bigger than she thought she was, and this was no different.  Her belly brushed the back of a private and he spun around, gun aimed right at her middle.

Sarah froze.  “I was let go.  Just trying to leave,” she said slowly.

The private dropped his aim and waved her on.  “You don’t need to be lingering here.  Get a move on.”

“Yes, sir,” Sarah said.  She jogged until she was out of sight of Town Hall and walked the rest of the way home. 

She thought about going to work, just to let them know she was okay, but she really didn’t feel okay.  Beck had threatened the lives of all the Rangers.  Including Bill.  Sarah just wanted to get home and wait for him to show up.

Sarah walked into the drive but stopped in horror.  Her front door was shattered, the remains swaying in the wind.

What had Beck done?

She walked up to the door slowly.  Splintered bits of door covered the floor inside.  Stuck to the standing remains of the door was a flyer declaring this house and all its contents property of the Allied States Army, until the fugitive Bill Koehler was caught.

Fugitive.  What a funny word to apply to her incredibly law-abiding husband.  The man didn’t even speed and refused to jaywalk!

Sarah stepped over the pieces of door and checked the rest of the house.  Any door that she’d left closed had been kicked in.  Pictures and trinkets were knocked to the ground - Sarah imagined them the casualties of careless privates with guns.

The second thing she looked for was that her gun was still in the bedside drawer.  Thankfully, the ASA hadn’t done a thorough search of the place.  She grabbed it, feeling safer holding it, and collapsed on the bed, crying and overwhelmed.

Too much had happened.  Too much was still happening.  Sarah could barely process the fact that she’d been dragged in for questioning.  That Bill was in serious danger and she didn’t know where he was.

She couldn’t even feel safe in her own home, not with the front door missing.  What was she going to do?

 

Bill found an old radio that still worked - or still gave static.  He and Jimmy were trying to pick up something, anything.

“Turn the knobs,” Jimmy told him.

“I’m turning the knobs,” Bill said, indignant.  He continued scanning the frequencies.

“Whoa, back up,” Jimmy said, putting a hand out to stop Bill.  “They just said something about the United States of America.

It took Bill a minute, but he finally found the frequency Jimmy heard.

“…Columbus, Ohio…  To all American citizens in enemy occupied land, stay strong.  The United States is alive and recovering in its new capitol, Columbus, Ohio.  We’ll continue broadcasting until the country is whole again.  Don’t give up hope.”

“This must be coming from Columbus,” Bill said, grinning.  It was great to hear from the real government again.

Heather ran into the garage, interrupting the broadcast.  “Beck took Jake,” she said urgently.

“What?  Where?” asked Eric.

Bill stood, looking at Heather with worry.

Heather told them about Jake being dragged away in a hood and that was enough for Bill.     

“I don’t think it’s safe for us to stay here.”  What if Jake talked?

They argued over whether or not to move until Eric reminded them that they could negotiate with Beck.  “What we need is leverage.  Everybody get your gear,” he instructed.

Bill immediately grabbed his rifle and went to get an ammo belt. 

Heather grabbed him.  “Beck took Sarah and Margaret, too.  He didn’t put a hood on them, but he brought them into the station for questioning.  You need to know.”

Bill’s heart sunk in despair.  “Is she okay?”

“Both of them were when I was at the station.  Tell Jimmy.”

Tell Jimmy?  He couldn’t tell Jimmy that!  He could barely process it.  If it weren’t for the treatment Jake got, Bill might go turn himself in just to be with Sarah again.  Damn it, he _should_ have made her come with him.

First, though, he had to help Eric with whatever crazy plan he had.

 

They waited in the tall prairie grass until an ASA troop truck went by.

Bill and Eric jumped out first.  They stood in the middle of the road, taking aim at the driver and the guard.  The truck rolled to a stop, but the soldiers in the front weren’t giving up easily: both pulled their sidearms and aimed at Eric and Bill.

Bill called out and the rest of the Rangers emerged from the grass, completely surrounding the truck.  The driver and guard slowly lowered their weapons.

Bill walked up to the driver’s side first.  “We’d rather not hurt you, so if you’ll just step out of the car and instruct your men in the back to do the same.”

The driver spit at Bill.  “Not for fugitives like you.”

Bill nodded and slammed the butt of his rifle into the side of the man’s head.  The soldier slumped over in his seat, clutching his head.  Bill sympathized - he’d gone through that in September - but it made his point non-lethally.  He looked at the guard.  “Your turn.  I may not be so nice if _you_ refuse.”

The guard nodded and set down his weapons on the bench seat beside him.  He slowly got out, Eric holding him at gunpoint, and went to the back of the truck.

Slowly, ten soldiers filed out of the truck.  Bill grinned.  They were going to get this done in one fell swoop. 

He tapped the driver’s head with his rifle.  “Come on, you need to get out, too.”

Bill sauntered to the back of the truck, driver leading the way.

“All right, guys, we just need one little thing from each of you and then you can be on your way in say, an hour or so.  Start stripping.” Bill announced, grinning rakishly.  This outlaw stuff could be kinda fun.

 

Bill shifted in the ASA uniform.  This was a lot looser and more comfortable than his deputy uniform.  Maybe he should talk to Jake about updating the uniforms when this was all over.

If this ever ended.

Bill shook his head, trying to clear it of such thoughts.  He could hear the Army convoy coming up behind him.  He gestured for the Rangers he and Jimmy were in charge of to stay still and wait.  They pretended to converse in the middle of the road until the convoy driver yelled out the window at them.

Bill turned around, grinning.  “Hey there!” he said, jogging to the truck and hopping on the running board.  Jimmy joined him on the other side of the cab. 

“Listen,” he told the driver.  “We need you to do us a favor.”

While Bill had him distracted, Jimmy held a gun up to his head.  When the man turned to look, Jimmy, in classic fashion, apologized.  Bill didn’t know why he’d expected anything different.

The driver held his hands up and Bill nodded.  “We need your truck,” he said.  Leaning back so all the Rangers could hear him, he yelled “All clear!”

Just as they’d done with the New Bern supply trucks during the mortar attacks, the Rangers moved forward and took control of all of the trucks.  Bill was surprised at how easy it was.  They tied up the ASA soldiers, left them in the back of one of the trucks, and loaded up all the ammo, guns, and gasoline into their own cars and trucks.  Eric jotted out a note to Beck, offering to exchange the supplies for Jake.

Maybe Beck would reason with them now.

 

Sarah knocked on Margaret’s door.  It had a giant dent in it and swung open lightly at Sarah’s touch.  The metal had been sturdier than Sarah’s wooden door.

“Margaret?” she called out.  The house was eerily quiet.

Margaret appeared out of the bedroom, sporting a black eye.

“Margaret!  What happened to you?” Sarah asked, worried.  Had the ASA hurt her?

Margaret instinctively covered her eye.  “I was standing behind the door when the ASA burst in.  If they’d waited a moment longer, I would have opened it for them.”  Margaret stepped aside for Sarah to come in.

“I assume you got questioned as well?” Margaret asked.  “I was here with the kids when they busted their way in and arrested me.”

“Where _are_ all the kids?” Sarah asked, reaching out to touch Margaret’s arm comfortingly.

“Sent them to my parents.  Figured it was safer for them there.”

“Yeah, probably,” Sarah agreed.  “Beck had me for a few hours.  He kept leaving for a bit, so I guess he was talking to you.”

“Mostly likely.”  Margaret collapsed on the couch and Sarah followed suit.

“I hate this.  I hate not knowing where they are or if they’re okay.”

“Or for how long they’ll be gone,” Margaret added.  “How much damage did they do at your house?

“Our door is unsalvageable.  Glass and wood everywhere.” 

“Sarah!  You can’t stay there without a door!”

Sarah lifted her shirt and showed Margaret her revolver.  “I’ll be okay.  I can’t fathom leaving it wide open overnight.

Margaret frowned.  “You know I saw that when you came in.  Your shirt’s too tight to hide it now.  Hold on.”

She went to the bedroom and rummaged around.  “Here.  Borrow some of Jimmy’s shirts.  They should be big enough to last you the rest of the time.  He’s always in his work shirt anyway; he wouldn’t mind you taking these.”

“Are you sure?” Sarah asked.  Jimmy’s button-downs _would_ solve a lot of her clothing problem, but she felt bad taking them when he wasn’t there.

“Of course.  Remember, I’ve been where you are twice.  I wore Jimmy’s clothes the last few months and it was so much more comfortable and cheaper than maternity clothes.”

“Thank you,” Sarah nodded.  “This really means a lot.”

Margaret bagged up the shirts for her.  “Stay for dinner, will you?  It’ll be nice not to be alone.”

“Of course,” Sarah said.  She was glad Margaret had asked; she’d come over for company.  The house was just too empty right now.

She’d have to face it that night, though.

~~~

 

Three days.  They’d been hiding three days and they’d hit a convoy each day.  Their supplies stockpile was full of everything except food.  If it weren’t for Mary and Heather sneaking out every day to feed them, the Rangers would have starved by now.

Bill folded up the ASA uniform and placed it in his trunk, ready for the next outing.  Somehow, he’d taken a uniform from a soldier named Muck.  If he was a distant cousin, Bill hadn’t recognized him.

He was glad he’d found that one.  It made him feel closer to his grandfather, even though Skip Muck wouldn’t have fought for the ASA.  He’d have made his way back to Columbus to fight.

Bill wondered if that’s what they should be doing.  Should he grab Sarah and make for the border?  Claim asylum and go live with her family?

Could he even get close to Sarah now?  He’d heard Beck let her go, but that didn’t mean she was free.

 

Soldiers burst into the library again and Sarah’s blood chilled.  Were they back for her?  Was she going to disappear like Jake did?

“Jericho has been declared in open insurrection!” one of them announced.  “Starting now, all citizens are banned from public spaces.  At nine p.m., all lights and electricity will be switched off.  No food deliveries will be made to Jericho.”

There was a hushed, panicked murmur around the room.

“You can stop this.  As soon as the fugitives known as the Rangers are in custody, everything will return to normal.  Any citizen can turn them in without suspicion.”

He looked around, waiting for someone to step forward with information, but no one moved.

“All right!  Everyone out of here, now!”

The soldiers surrounded them all and began pushing patrons and employees both out the doors.

Joanna tried to go back for her purse, but was knocked over by one of the soldiers.

“Joanna!” Sarah called, but she couldn’t get back to her friend.  She was shoved out the doors, backwards, and lost her footing.  She landed on her rear, thankfully, but that didn’t stop the soldiers from continuing to push her away from the library.  She crab-walked backwards as quickly as possible until she was in the middle of the street.  Only then did they let her stand.

Joanna limped out of the library and made her way straight to Sarah.  “You okay?” she asked.  “I saw you fall.”

“I saw you fall first.  And you’re limping.  What happened?”

“One of them stepped on my ankle when I fell.  I’ll be fine.  Are _you_ okay?” Joanna asked again, holding Sarah’s shoulders.

Sarah nodded.  “Landed on my butt.  Plenty of cushioning.”  She tried to smile, but couldn’t quite bring herself to do it.

Joanna hugged Sarah.  “We’re gonna get through this.  You good on supplies if they do cut everything off?”

“For a bit.  It’ll be just like the winter, except warmer.”

Joanna pulled back and looked at her.  “Okay.  You come over to our place if you need anything.” 

Soldiers began setting up barriers near them.  Both women knew it was time to move.

They walked home together through the neighborhoods, full of panicked people.  Some gave Sarah a glare, as if they blamed this on her - or Bill - but most seemed sympathetic.

Joanna stopped Sarah before they split off from each other.  “Just so you know, even if I knew where they were, I wouldn’t tell.”

Sarah finally managed a smile with warmth.  “Thank you, Joanna.  That means a lot.”

 

“Mimi!  What are you doing here?” Bill asked when he checked the door.  It was too late for their regular visitors.

“She insisted,” Mary said, leading Mimi inside quickly.

“You should still be at the clinic!” Bill said.  “We dropped you off there-”

“I know,” Mimi said, holding up a hand to stop him.  “I’ll be fine.  I’m here for Stanley.”

While they were standing there, the lights went out.

“That’s Beck’s new thing,” Mary said.  “No lights, no electricity, no food coming into town until you guys give yourselves up.”

“Or someone gives us up,” Bill said darkly.  “Have you seen Sarah?”

Mary thought a minute.  “They shut down my bar today and the library.  I didn’t see what happened over there, but I did see Sarah in the neighborhood, walking home with one of the other librarians.  She looked okay.”

Bill breathed a little easier.  “Thank you, Mary.”

“Welcome.  I’m going to head back before Beck decides there’s a curfew.  Last I heard before they shut me down, some guys were planning to torch the J&R building tonight.”  Mary slipped out and Bill locked the door behind her.

Bill touched Mimi on the back of her arm.  “Let’s go find some lights,” he said.

~~~

 

Humvees rolled through the neighborhood early the next morning with an announcement:  “There is a mandatory curfew today.  All citizens should stay in their houses all day today.  Do not leave your dwellings or you will be treated as an insurgent.”

Sarah rolled over in bed, arm flopped across the empty side, listening to the announcement.  Everything was louder without a front door.

It was probably seven.  What could she do for the rest of the day?  Why were they under a curfew anyway?

Sarah swept the front area for glass and splinters again and looked at the large fragments of door left.  She’d given thought to duct taping them back together, but that still left a large hole by the doorknob.  It didn’t offer any security.

She made cold oatmeal for breakfast, then took Sadie in the backyard to play.  The poor dog was miserable without Bill there. 

So was she.

 

“Gail’s here!  Beck’s taking her to see Jake!”  Mary said, rushing into the garage.  “I managed to catch her and tell her where we are.  She’s coming by afterwards.  This might be our chance to find Jake!”

“Great!” Eric said.

“How’s the rest of the town?” asked Emily.

“Beck put us under curfew because someone firebombed the J&R office last night.  I managed to sneak out, though,” Mary answered.

“Benefit of living on the edge of town,” Eric agreed.

“What do we do until Gail gets here?” Bill asked.

Mary shrugged.  “We just wait.”

And so they waited.  Bill pulled out a map of town he kept in his SUV in case it would help.

 

About an hour later, Gail strode into the garage.  “I need a map.”

Bill was ready.  He already had it spread out on the table.  “Did you see where they took you?” he asked.

“No, I was blindfolded.  I couldn’t see a thing but I think I can help you find him,” Gail answered.  When she reached the map, she started pointing.  She led them straight out of town to an area Bill and Jimmy were familiar with.

“Sounds like you were out on 48, between Alex Bell and Lidell Five Points,” Bill said, thinking hard what could be out there.

“That’s at least five square miles,” Eric said.  “Well, can you remember anything else?”

“Um… it smelled terrible.”

It clicked immediately.  Bill and Jimmy both looked up and said “Hog farm.”

“You know where one is out there?” Eric asked

“Oh, yeah,” Jimmy said.  “We’ve been out there before.”

“Okay, so we’ll go tonight,” Eric said.  “After dark.  Mary, are you staying here or sneaking back to town?”

“Gail’s supposed to be leaving town.  I’ll catch a ride with her and maybe I’ll get more news for you guys.”

Eric looked disappointed.

 

The Rangers gathered outside the hog farm after the sun had set.  Bill could see lights and armed men.  Eric checked it out more closely with field glasses. 

“This is definitely the place they’ve got Jake.”

Jimmy snuck back to the group from his reconnaissance run.  “Two sentries at the door, M4s and sidearms.  Humvee, driver, that’s it.”

Bill sighed.  Best to get this started.  “Well, what are we waiting for?”

“Let’s go get him,” Eric said.

The Rangers grabbed their rifles and spread out.  Bill was their driver, so he’d been assigned to take out the ASA’s transportation.  He waited until he heard Jimmy and Eric shooting at the sentries, then he and Emily went after the driver.

It was laughably easy.  The soldiers hadn’t been expecting anyone and were lax in their observation.  Bill was able to jump out right behind the driver, who’d started to run towards the sentries fighting Eric and Jimmy. 

One shot took him down.  And took him down at the knees.  They weren’t aiming to kill tonight; no sense in provoking Beck more.

Bill heard four shots behind him and jumped for cover.  He heard Emily laugh and he poked his head out.

Emily had shot the tires of the Humvee so no one could chase them away.

Bill shook his head at Emily.  “Come on, we’ve got to get my car.”

Bill and Emily ran a half mile down the road, where they’d left Bill’s SUV.  As quickly as he’d ever driven on these dirt roads, Bill sped down it backwards.  Thanks goodness for Academy offensive driving courses.

They got there just in time to spot Eric and Jimmy helping Jake out.  Russell from New Bern was a few steps ahead of them.

“Get him in!” Bill yelled.

Jake was shoved in the backseat with Emily, who soothed him while Eric jumped through the broken back window, sitting in the trunk with Russell.

They did it!  They had Jake!  Bill was euphoric.  Maybe this was their first step towards going home.

~~~

 

Bill, Jimmy, and Eric pored over a map of Jericho, trying to figure out where the next supply convoy was coming through.  It’d be guarded more than the previous ones - Beck wasn’t stupid - so this one might turn into a firefight.

Got to plan it carefully.

The door opened and Emily led Jake in.

“Hey, what are you doing up?” Eric asked.

Bill wondered the same thing.  They’d dropped a very poor-looking Jake off at his hunting cabin to rest and recover.  He wasn’t supposed to be here early the next morning.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Jake said.

Eric went into the garage office with Jake and Emily.

Jimmy tried to surreptitiously listen at the door, but he shook his head.  “Can’t make anything out.”

“Get away from there before they catch you,” Bill fussed.  “Eric will tell us when he gets out.”

“Maybe.  You know Jake’s still good at keeping secrets.”

“Yeah, that’s why he survived four days of torture,” Bill pointed out.  “It’s okay not to know.”

Jimmy skittered back to Bill when the door started to open.  Jake nodded at them and then left without saying another word.

“What’s he doing?” Bill asked Eric.

“Going to Cheyenne.”

“Cheyenne?  Why?” asked Jimmy.

“It’s a long story,” Eric said.  “And one we don’t need to worry about.  Jake’s got his mission, we’ve got ours.  We need to make sure Jericho’s prepared to fight back against Beck if he tries anything else.”

Bill nodded.  He did not want to sit this one out.

 

More Humvees in the neighborhood.  More announcements.  More restrictions.

Beck had moved to Phase Three, which apparently meant that Sarah would have to move out of her house by tomorrow.

At least they weren’t under curfew anymore.  Sarah walked over to Margaret’s house to see if she was under interdiction, too.

“No, but a few streets down is being evacuated,” Margaret said when Sarah asked.  “You’re moving in here, of course.”

“Are you sure?” Sarah asked.  “I didn’t come over to force myself on you.”

“No, you’re not.  In fact, I have nothing to do but sit here and worry.  Let’s go pack you a bag together.”

Sarah and Margaret walked together through the quiet town, not daring to chat in case they attracted the ASA soldiers who were milling around at intersections.  More than once, they were stopped and asked where they were going.

“Where do we go if it’s your street next?” Sarah asked.

“Maybe it won’t get that far,” Margaret said.

“But Beck’s not going to stop.  And our guys aren’t going to give up.  It can _only_ get worse.”

Margaret frowned at Sarah.  “You’re starting to sound like Bill when he’s anxious.”

“I’m just… trying to think rationally.  I don’t see how this ends well.  At this point, it’s the Rangers against the ASA and the Army is much better equipped.  It’s New Bern times ten,” Sarah said.

“It’s the Rangers and all of Jericho,” Margaret pointed out.  “We won’t go down without a fight, especially not now.”

“New Bern times ten,” Sarah repeated.

 

Mary came to the garage in a whirl of worry.  “Phase Three.  Beck is instituting Phase Three.”

“What’s Phase Three?” Eric asked.

Mary explained it to them.  Bill felt his hackles rise.  This was getting bad.

“Come tomorrow, Beck’s men are going to start shooting at people,” Mary said plaintively.

Eric rubbed a hand on his face.  “We’re running out of options.”

Bill shook his head.  “Our options are pretty clear.  Either we start shooting back or we give up our homes.”  And the people waiting for them in their homes.

Russell leaned into the conversation.  “You don’t have to fight them alone.”

“What are you talking about?” Eric asked.

Russell explained that New Bern had gone through the same restrictions weeks ago.  “Constantino knows how to fight it.”

“Not a chance in hell,” said Eric and Bill agreed with him.  Some principles were too important to break.

“We can help each other,” Russell said.

Eric bowed his head, appearing to think about it.

“Eric, are you kidding?” asked Stanley.

“What am I supposed to say?”

Stanley stood.  “You say no.  You say you’re not interested in shaking hands with an animal like Phil Constantino.  Say _something_.”

Eric sat there silently.

Stanley shook his head.  “I’m done with this.  Bonnie has been dead for four days and her body is still sitting in a box in the medical center because I’m hiding out in some garage!”  He stalked toward the door.

“Stanley, where are you going?”  Eric stood.

“To bury my sister.”

Mimi ran and stopped Stanley halfway to the door.  Bill cheered inwardly.  If anyone could get Stanley to stay, it was Mimi.

Instead, she took his hand and followed him out the door.

Bill shrugged when Eric looked at him.  He didn’t know what they could do.  He certainly couldn’t stop Stanley alone.

“Go with him.  Get it done.  Bring him back here as soon as possible.”

Bill nodded.  He, Jimmy, and Emily headed out after Stanley.

“Stanley!” Jimmy called.  “We’re coming with you.”

Stanley finally stopped, halfway down the drive.  “It’s about time.”

“Come on, get in my car,” Bill said.  “It’ll hold us and Bonnie.”

Jimmy and Emily both stopped and wrinkled their noses.  “We’ll take a second car,” Jimmy said.  “More room for you.”

 

Bill brainstormed the whole way into town, driving on a flat hiking path he’d taking with Sarah many times.  Luckily there wasn’t much brush left anymore.

“Mimi, you’re the key,” he said finally, as they were nearing the north edge of town.  He bumped through a wide spot in the wind break.  “You can go in the clinic and get Bonnie.  Get Kenchy.  He’ll help you.”

Mimi nodded.

Bill stopped just in sight of the back of the clinic.  “You’re up,” he said.

Mimi gave Stanley a quick kiss and climbed out of the car.

Jimmy and Emily pulled up next to Bill.  “What’re we doing?”

“Mimi’s going in.  Be ready to grab Bonnie when they bring her out.”

Each minute they waited was excruciating.  They were so close to being caught, but this was so important to Stanley.  And really, to Bill himself.

It took half an hour, but finally Mimi and an orderly came out of the back door.  The orderly was pulling a cart behind him.  A cart with Bonnie’s body on it, wrapped in a shroud.

Bill’s heart broke all over again.

He, Stanley, and Jimmy hopped out and helped load Bonnie into the back of Bill’s SUV.  It was a somber moment and all three men handled her carefully, as if she was still alive.  Stanley stroked her face through the shroud.

“Don’t worry,” said the orderly.  “I wouldn’t give you guys up.”

They watched him leave.

From the trunk, Stanley spoke up.  “Let’s take her home.”

 

Sarah paced Margaret’s living room.

“I’m going crazy,” she said.

“It sure looks like it,” Margaret agreed.

Sarah stopped and gave her friend a look.  “I mean I need to be doing something.  I need a distraction or I’ll keep getting more anxious.  I need to go to work or…”  She stopped.  “I know exactly what I need to do.”

Margaret looked at her warily.  “What are you thinking?”

“Cleaning.  Cleaning is good.  And you know what needs cleaning?  The Richmond house.”  Sarah nodded enthusiastically.  “Yes, Stanley doesn’t need to come home to Bonnie and Mimi’s blood on the floor.  We can take care of that for him.”

“We?” Margaret looked at Sarah questioningly.

“Well, you’ve got to give me a ride out there.  You might as well stay and help.”

 

Bill backed up the hill to the family graveyard.  “Where do you want her, Stanley?”

Stanley got out of the trunk and walked straight to a spot by his parents.  “Here.  With Mom and Dad.  It’s where she belongs.”

Bill nodded.  He couldn’t argue with that.  He directed Emily and Jimmy to the barn where the shovels were.  It was time to get to work.

Another car came up the drive, kicking up dust behind it.  Bill recognized that beat up green van, though.

“Jimmy!” he yelled.  “Your wife’s here for some reason!”

It wasn’t just Margaret that got out of the car.  Sarah got out of the passenger seat.  Bill thought he was seeing a mirage at first, but she turned and ran slowly up the hill - as fast as she was able to go now.

Sarah swept Bill up in a hug and kissed him about ten times.  “What are you doing here?” she asked.  “Is this where you’ve been hiding?”

Bill kissed her again and then another time for good measure.  “No, we’re burying Bonnie.”

“Oh.”  Sarah pulled away from Bill, suddenly sober.  She looked over at Stanley, who just shook his head.  He wasn’t in the mood to receive sympathy, Bill knew.

Bill looked down the hill to the barn, where Margaret and Jimmy were having a similar reunion.  “What are _you_ doing here?  And Margaret?”

“We came to clean.  We thought… well, we thought Stanley and Mimi would like to come home to a clean house.  Not one still…”  Sarah didn’t finish, but everyone knew what she meant.

“Thank you,” said Mimi, looking surprised that anyone had thought of it.

Jimmy, Margaret, and Emily walked up the hill, carrying shovels.  Bill took one and stuck it in the ground where Bonnie’s head would go.

Sarah looked at the scene sadly.  She grabbed Margaret’s hand.  “Come on, let’s work while they dig.”

Bill watched her go, aching to ask her to stay with him, to stop leaving him - or letting him leave her.  Four days apart was too much.  He just wanted to take her home.

If he still had a home.  If not, they could always escape across the Mississippi, right?

 

Eric and Mary joined them after their meeting with Constantino.

To Bill relief, it was a bust.  Eric saw that Constantino’s methods were too radical for the Rangers to use.  The Rangers didn’t want to kill American soldiers, even if they were ASA.

The problem was, the ASA wanted to shoot at them.  And they were coming up the drive as they spoke.

Bill glanced at the house, hoping Sarah knew enough to stay inside.

Mimi looked at Stanley and said, “I got this.  They don’t want me.”

She strode down the hill purposefully and started talking to the lieutenant that headed the group.

Bill wondered what she was saying.

 

“What do you think Mimi’s telling them?” Margaret asked, peering out the window.

Sarah rinsed her bloody rag in a bucket and joined Margaret at the window.  “I don’t know, but if anyone can hold back an army single-handedly, it’s Mimi Clark.  Come on, let’s keep working.  I don’t want them to see us, too.”

Sarah grabbed her rag again and started scrubbing at a bloody spot on the floor.  She wasn’t sure it would come out of the hardwood, but she had to try.  She didn’t want Stanley to see this every day the rest of his life.

Margaret straightened up pictures and knick-knacks that had fallen.  She swept up sawdust from bullet holes.  “This house is never going to be the same,” she said.

“They got it fixed up after the war,” Sarah pointed out.

“It’s not the same.  That wasn’t his sister.”

Sarah stopped scrubbing.  Margaret was right.  Would Stanley even want to stay?

She glanced out the window and up the hill, watching as they carefully lowered Bonnie into the grave they’d dug.

No, Stanley wasn’t going to leave.  His family was here and they were too important.

 

Bill shoveled dirt as fast as he could.  They only had fifteen minutes to finish burying Bonnie before the ASA was coming to arrest them.

If arresting was what they had in mind.

Bill hoped that if he was going to die today, it’d at least be somewhere Sarah couldn’t watch.  He just got her back so briefly.  He’d rather their reunion be her last memory of him.

More ASA Humvees drove up and stopped at the bottom of the hill.  Great, a whole squadron to bring them in.

To Bill’s surprise, they drove right up the hill and Beck got out.  This was the end, then.  They hadn’t even finished burying Bonnie.

Beck stood there for a minute, then crossed himself.  “I’m sorry for your loss,” he said, sounding sincere.

“Thank you,” said Stanley.

Beck nodded sadly.  “You’re all free to go.”  He turned and walked back to his Humvee.

“Wait a minute,” Eric said.  “That’s it?”

Beck walked back to them, away from his men.  “About twenty minutes ago, I um…  I notified my company commanders that I’d no longer be taking orders from the Cheyenne leadership.  I believe this government is corrupt at its core.  Its actions are criminal and I no longer recognize their right to lead.”

Bill was rocked by this speech.  Did Beck just call off the hunt and quit?

“So what happens now?” asked Eric.

Beck sighed.  “My company commanders are deliberating, trying to decide whether to report me up the chain of command.  In all likelihood, I’ll be charged by the end of the day.  Sent to Cheyenne to face a court martial for treason.”  Beck’s expression hardened.  “But until then, I’m still in charge, so you take your time and then go home.”

The Rangers all looked at each other.  This was not how Bill saw the whole thing ending.

He couldn’t complain, though.  He was going home.

 

They finished burying Bonnie.  Bill looked at that lump of dirt and felt a knot well up in his throat.  There wasn’t anything to say.  He’d said his goodbyes while shoveling.  Bonnie was a farm girl; she appreciated good hard work.  She’d understand.

Bill looked at Jimmy, who looked at Eric.  Nodding, everyone turned and walked down the hill, leaving Stanley and Mimi with Bonnie.  Stanley started to walk down with them, but Mimi called him back.

Bill didn’t know what they were saying, but it was probably a needed conversation.

He pushed open the farmhouse door and found Sarah and Margaret finishing up.

Sarah dropped her rag and ran over.  “What happened?  Why did Beck just leave?”

“I don’t know, but he decided to let us go.  Said he couldn’t follow the government anymore.  So we had time to bury Bonnie.”

“Oh, Bill!”  Sarah hugged him tightly and Bill found his tears again.  He held Sarah close and sobbed on her shoulder.  Losing Bonnie was going to hurt him the rest of his life.

Jimmy stuck his head in.  “Uh, Bill.  Uh, we’re going downtown to be sure Beck has us freed.  You should come with.”

Bill pulled back and wiped his eyes.  “Go home with Margaret.  I’ll come pick you up there.”

Sarah nodded and squeezed his hand.  “I’ll see you soon.”

 

Bill was as good at his word.  A half hour after he left, he pulled up to the Taylor’s house at the same time Margaret and Sarah were getting out of the van.

Sarah looked at Margaret.  “Guess I gotta go.”

“Hold on.  Let me go grab your bags,” Margaret said.  “Since you won’t be staying here.”

Sarah took her bags gratefully and got in the car with Bill.  “Take me home, babe.”

“There’s something I want you to see first,” Bill said.

He drove downtown slowly, stopping where they could see the flagpole.

“The Gadsden flag!  Where did that come from?”

“It was Johnston Green’s,” explained Bill.  “Gray decided it needed to come back out.”

“A good time for it.  This government is doing some treading,” Sarah said emphatically.

“They are.  And Beck sees that now.  I don’t know what’s going to happen to him, but he got us off the hook,” Bill said.  He drove around the abandoned barriers and headed towards home.

Home was barely there, even from the last time Sarah saw it.

The door fragments still flapped on their hinges, but inside, the house was ransacked.  Drawers were pulled out, pictures taken off the walls, furniture moved and bedding tossed.

Bill pulled another flyer off the door.  “This house has been searched as a center of insurgent activity.  Do not occupy this building.”  With some satisfaction, Sarah watched him rip up the flyer and drop it.

“Babe, they’ve destroyed the house,” she said plaintively.  She’d wanted to just come home and let Bill hold her, but there was no way they could relax like this.

Bill looked around the house.  “It’s not that bad.  New door, sure, but the rest is just picking up.”  He took her by the hand.  “We can do this, together.  Come on, let’s start in the living room.”

Sarah followed him and pushed the couch back against the wall.  She looked at the defunct television and Bill’s easy chair, both knocked on the ground.  “There’s glass in the carpet.  Be careful.”

“We’ll vacuum when the power comes back on,” Bill said, lifting his chair back in place.  “Come on, this is like moving back in.  We’re starting fresh.”

“Are you saying we’re newlyweds again?”

Bill sauntered over to Sarah, a certain feisty look in his eyes.  “Just like newlyweds.  If you want to.”

Sarah twisted her fingers in his hair and pulled him down for a kiss.  “I do.  Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more coming, so keep an eye out. I just haven't decided what form it's going to take yet!


End file.
